Revelations - September -October 2002
Chapter 10
Needless to say the scoobies were flabbergasted by the new and improved Spike, well, actually he just went by William now. As the days passed, Buffy became increasingly apprehensive about the changes in Spike. She learned just how dire things were when they were sparring in the training room one afternoon.
"Ow, Buffy, ease up a little. A bloke can only take so much of an ass kicking before he starts to take it personally."
Spike.uh.William picked himself up off the ground. His mouth was beginning to swell, and there was blood trickling from his lips. His hand reached into his mouth and pulled out one of his wisdom teeth. The one that Buffy had knocked loose with her round house. Buffy just winced as she helped her lover over to the bench. She hadn't really thought about Spike's lack of physical strength. He was still very strong for a human, and until that moment he had kept up with her fairly well. His movements lacked grace though, when they were fighting now, he often reminded her of Riley. He had a human clumsiness to him, the finesse and grace of his motions were gone. Buffy just looked at Spike like he was a stranger before her. She sadly smiled and went to get him some ice, to ease the swelling.
"How you holding up?" Buffy asked, honestly concerned.
"Like a linebacker kicked me in my head." Spike replied honestly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even think about the strength thing. It was stupid of me not to think about how you can't fight like you used to."
"Hey, I'm some weakly nancy boy poofter, I'll have you know. Just because I can't kick your ass anymore, doesn't mean I'm useless to you now." Spike replied, desperately trying to hold onto some small shred of dignity.
Buffy let a small smile escape from her lips, relieved to finally see a little bit of her smug, cocky vampire return to her.
"First off, you could never kick my ass, ever. And second." she said as she reached for his hand. "You could never be useless to me, even if you tried."
Spike so desperately wanted to kiss her at that moment, but his cheek was the size of a baseball and his mouth was caked with blood. Buffy smiled understandingly and helped him into the main area of the store. Buffy yelled at Xander to go put the poofy suit on so she could beat the crap out of something.
Spike sat at the table and helped Dawn finish up her school work. Dawn was extremely grateful that Spike had been alive during World War I. Writing her paper had been a breeze. Much to Spike's surprise he was also good with Algebra and Chemistry. Dawn was dumbfounded by Spike's newfound intelligence. She reassured herself that he was the same person by how lovingly he acted towards her though.
Anya was at the counter, doing the books for the evening, carefully avoiding Spike's gaze. It had been over four months since their little tryst, but she was still uncomfortable. It wasn't so much that she had sex with Spike, it was that Xander was in the same building and she desperately wanted to make things right. It was hard enough to talk to Xander. Just when things were starting to get back to normal.and then Spike shows up, human as can be. Anya quickly finished the books and took Dawn to get something to eat. Dawn hugged Spike while Anya studiously ignored him. The pair left, and Spike sat there alone while Buffy and Xander finished their workouts.
***********************************
Weeks passed while Buffy tried to figure out what her feelings for Spike were. After some initial discomfort between Xander and Spike, the two actually began to bond. For some odd reason Xander forgave Spike for what he and Anya had done. In Xander's mind it was Anya's fault for betraying him. He could understand why Spike didn't give a shit about his feelings, because of the way Xander had treated him all those years. The two would even venture out to see a Dodger's game on occasion.
Buffy for the most part, was amused by the obviously human changes in him. He didn't steal or cheat anymore. She wasn't sure if it was out of guilt or if it was because he wanted her acceptance. He had a good job and helped Dawn with her school work. He had always loved her, but now it seemed so much more real. He didn't lose his patience quite so quickly. Buffy almost began to trust him once again. Before he had left, their final confrontation had been gruesome, to say the least. She would still have nightmares about it occasionally. They were beginning to subside now that her gentle and loving Spike was sharing her bed. At times he seemed like a stranger. He didn't dress the same. He wore slacks and button down shirts. He looked good to her no matter what, but somehow it wasn't the same. It was odd that he got along with her friends now. And stranger yet, they seemed to like him in return. He was so much more than he was before. Maybe that's why Buffy couldn't figure out why she was less than thrilled about the new "Sensitive Spike."
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Spike and Buffy were laying in bed together in utter silence. Spike had a peaceful look on his face as he was about to drift off to sleep. Suddenly he felt a small heel in his shin. He jumped a little and rolled groggily over to face his very awake slayer. She looked as if she was completely consumed in lust.
"What is it luv?" Spike asked sleepily.
"Are you tired?"
"Not really, I guess.maybe a little. What's this all about?"
Buffy rolled on top of Spike and started to kiss his neck softly. Spike moaned a little at the feeling of his little Slayer rubbing herself on top of him. She was obviously aroused and she leaned of and hotly whispered into his ear.
"Do you ever miss the games we used to play?"
"What did you have in mind?" Spike asked, the question peaked his curiosity.
"Well, what if you play and evil vampire and I'm your helpless captive. You could wear your old duster and maybe we could get out the handcuffs."
Buffy was becoming more excited by the mere thought of the scenario. Spike on the other hand was a one-eighty.
He shoved Buffy off of him and got out of bed. He was trying to find his clothes so he could get dressed and leave. Buffy just stared at him in shock and disbelief.
"What's wrong baby?" Buffy asked innocently.
Spike just glared at her, a look of contempt covering his face.
"That's funny Buffy. You think this is a game. What, do you miss your evil vampire now? This is why you've been acting so weird, isn't it? What, are you pissed I actually have a job now? That I get along with your friends? Buffy, sweetie, part of me will always be Spike, but I am not the vampire anymore. I'm not the one that killed half of Europe. I'm sorry I'm not as exciting as I once was. But I love you and I am a good man now. I want to be there for you, to take care of you and Dawn."
Spike's voice was filled with uncertainty. He had a sinking feeling that Buffy was about to tell him to fuck off.
Buffy just looked at him. She suddenly felt ashamed for wanting this man who looked and talked like Spike, but wasn't Spike, to be Spike. It was all so confusing. She loved him, but she didn't all at the same time. They had been sleeping together for a little over six weeks and she was just as weirded out now as when she had first kissed him at The Bronze that night. They had been so quick to rush to one another to fill the void. They hardly knew one another now.
"I'm sorry Will, I just need some time. Everything is so confusing. It feels right and it doesn't at the same time."
Buffy just looked at Spike, hoping that he could possibly show some signs of sympathy with her plight. Spike was infuriated and understanding at the same time, if that's at all possible.
"Can never do anything right for you, can I?" Spike started, smiling sadly before he continued. "I love you Buffy. I always will. And I will give you your space. Having me around right now is just confusing you even more."
Spike then got off the bed and put his clothes back on. He leaned over, kissed Buffy on her forehead and left her alone in her room. All alone with all of her haunting thoughts.
Needless to say the scoobies were flabbergasted by the new and improved Spike, well, actually he just went by William now. As the days passed, Buffy became increasingly apprehensive about the changes in Spike. She learned just how dire things were when they were sparring in the training room one afternoon.
"Ow, Buffy, ease up a little. A bloke can only take so much of an ass kicking before he starts to take it personally."
Spike.uh.William picked himself up off the ground. His mouth was beginning to swell, and there was blood trickling from his lips. His hand reached into his mouth and pulled out one of his wisdom teeth. The one that Buffy had knocked loose with her round house. Buffy just winced as she helped her lover over to the bench. She hadn't really thought about Spike's lack of physical strength. He was still very strong for a human, and until that moment he had kept up with her fairly well. His movements lacked grace though, when they were fighting now, he often reminded her of Riley. He had a human clumsiness to him, the finesse and grace of his motions were gone. Buffy just looked at Spike like he was a stranger before her. She sadly smiled and went to get him some ice, to ease the swelling.
"How you holding up?" Buffy asked, honestly concerned.
"Like a linebacker kicked me in my head." Spike replied honestly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even think about the strength thing. It was stupid of me not to think about how you can't fight like you used to."
"Hey, I'm some weakly nancy boy poofter, I'll have you know. Just because I can't kick your ass anymore, doesn't mean I'm useless to you now." Spike replied, desperately trying to hold onto some small shred of dignity.
Buffy let a small smile escape from her lips, relieved to finally see a little bit of her smug, cocky vampire return to her.
"First off, you could never kick my ass, ever. And second." she said as she reached for his hand. "You could never be useless to me, even if you tried."
Spike so desperately wanted to kiss her at that moment, but his cheek was the size of a baseball and his mouth was caked with blood. Buffy smiled understandingly and helped him into the main area of the store. Buffy yelled at Xander to go put the poofy suit on so she could beat the crap out of something.
Spike sat at the table and helped Dawn finish up her school work. Dawn was extremely grateful that Spike had been alive during World War I. Writing her paper had been a breeze. Much to Spike's surprise he was also good with Algebra and Chemistry. Dawn was dumbfounded by Spike's newfound intelligence. She reassured herself that he was the same person by how lovingly he acted towards her though.
Anya was at the counter, doing the books for the evening, carefully avoiding Spike's gaze. It had been over four months since their little tryst, but she was still uncomfortable. It wasn't so much that she had sex with Spike, it was that Xander was in the same building and she desperately wanted to make things right. It was hard enough to talk to Xander. Just when things were starting to get back to normal.and then Spike shows up, human as can be. Anya quickly finished the books and took Dawn to get something to eat. Dawn hugged Spike while Anya studiously ignored him. The pair left, and Spike sat there alone while Buffy and Xander finished their workouts.
***********************************
Weeks passed while Buffy tried to figure out what her feelings for Spike were. After some initial discomfort between Xander and Spike, the two actually began to bond. For some odd reason Xander forgave Spike for what he and Anya had done. In Xander's mind it was Anya's fault for betraying him. He could understand why Spike didn't give a shit about his feelings, because of the way Xander had treated him all those years. The two would even venture out to see a Dodger's game on occasion.
Buffy for the most part, was amused by the obviously human changes in him. He didn't steal or cheat anymore. She wasn't sure if it was out of guilt or if it was because he wanted her acceptance. He had a good job and helped Dawn with her school work. He had always loved her, but now it seemed so much more real. He didn't lose his patience quite so quickly. Buffy almost began to trust him once again. Before he had left, their final confrontation had been gruesome, to say the least. She would still have nightmares about it occasionally. They were beginning to subside now that her gentle and loving Spike was sharing her bed. At times he seemed like a stranger. He didn't dress the same. He wore slacks and button down shirts. He looked good to her no matter what, but somehow it wasn't the same. It was odd that he got along with her friends now. And stranger yet, they seemed to like him in return. He was so much more than he was before. Maybe that's why Buffy couldn't figure out why she was less than thrilled about the new "Sensitive Spike."
*****************************
Spike and Buffy were laying in bed together in utter silence. Spike had a peaceful look on his face as he was about to drift off to sleep. Suddenly he felt a small heel in his shin. He jumped a little and rolled groggily over to face his very awake slayer. She looked as if she was completely consumed in lust.
"What is it luv?" Spike asked sleepily.
"Are you tired?"
"Not really, I guess.maybe a little. What's this all about?"
Buffy rolled on top of Spike and started to kiss his neck softly. Spike moaned a little at the feeling of his little Slayer rubbing herself on top of him. She was obviously aroused and she leaned of and hotly whispered into his ear.
"Do you ever miss the games we used to play?"
"What did you have in mind?" Spike asked, the question peaked his curiosity.
"Well, what if you play and evil vampire and I'm your helpless captive. You could wear your old duster and maybe we could get out the handcuffs."
Buffy was becoming more excited by the mere thought of the scenario. Spike on the other hand was a one-eighty.
He shoved Buffy off of him and got out of bed. He was trying to find his clothes so he could get dressed and leave. Buffy just stared at him in shock and disbelief.
"What's wrong baby?" Buffy asked innocently.
Spike just glared at her, a look of contempt covering his face.
"That's funny Buffy. You think this is a game. What, do you miss your evil vampire now? This is why you've been acting so weird, isn't it? What, are you pissed I actually have a job now? That I get along with your friends? Buffy, sweetie, part of me will always be Spike, but I am not the vampire anymore. I'm not the one that killed half of Europe. I'm sorry I'm not as exciting as I once was. But I love you and I am a good man now. I want to be there for you, to take care of you and Dawn."
Spike's voice was filled with uncertainty. He had a sinking feeling that Buffy was about to tell him to fuck off.
Buffy just looked at him. She suddenly felt ashamed for wanting this man who looked and talked like Spike, but wasn't Spike, to be Spike. It was all so confusing. She loved him, but she didn't all at the same time. They had been sleeping together for a little over six weeks and she was just as weirded out now as when she had first kissed him at The Bronze that night. They had been so quick to rush to one another to fill the void. They hardly knew one another now.
"I'm sorry Will, I just need some time. Everything is so confusing. It feels right and it doesn't at the same time."
Buffy just looked at Spike, hoping that he could possibly show some signs of sympathy with her plight. Spike was infuriated and understanding at the same time, if that's at all possible.
"Can never do anything right for you, can I?" Spike started, smiling sadly before he continued. "I love you Buffy. I always will. And I will give you your space. Having me around right now is just confusing you even more."
Spike then got off the bed and put his clothes back on. He leaned over, kissed Buffy on her forehead and left her alone in her room. All alone with all of her haunting thoughts.