Birth Control - October - December 2002
Chapter Twelve
Spike did what he promised. He gave Buffy her space. He and Xander still had their Thursday night poker game. He still went to visit Tara's grave. Dawn would come over a couple of times a week to study. Soon the days passed into weeks and he hadn't heard from Buffy. He thought space meant a few days, two weeks absolute tops. Spike was beginning to become seriously worried. Maybe she didn't want him anymore. Spike tried to ease his paranoia by reading and reacquainting himself with some old friends.
Clem was thrilled to see Spike, but that was more because Clem got to keep Spike's old crypt when he found out about Spike doing the human thing. He went up to LA a few times to catch up with Peaches. Well, more to do damage control. Actually, the first thing Angel did when he saw Spike was sucker punched him in the nose and kick him in the gut. Spike pretty much figured he had that coming though. After that the two kept in pretty close touch, having at least one thing in common, Buffy.
Spike patiently waited for Buffy to figure out what it was that she wanted After a month had passed he simply couldn't wait any longer. He talked to Dawn and found out when the Slayer would be home. He brought a bouquet of wild flowers and nervously approached the house on Revello Drive. He walked to the door and gently knocked and waited. Buffy answered. Her eyes were red and puffy, it looked like she had been crying for days. She just looked at him, gave him a haggard smile and invited him in. Spike walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa, while Buffy sat on the arm of the oversized chair next to the couch. She just stared at him, like a frightened animal, not sure of how to proceed. Spike proceeded for her.
"I'm sorry to bother you luv. But it's been a month and I know you need your space, but I've missed you. Why have you been crying? It's not because of me is it?" Spike said, not liking the concept of being the reason his pretty little Buffy was obviously so miserable.
"Yes.no.I don't know. Spike, I'm sorry I haven't called. I just found something out about two weeks ago that had confused me. And no one else knows and I'm sick of keeping this secret.I guess you should be the first to know. I'm.uh.well.sorta.pregnant.
Spike just stared at her. Inside he was beaming with pride. He was thrilled he was going to be a father. Then doubt suddenly clouded his mind when he looked upon Buffy's sad face. He knew he should be comforting her, not thinking about baby names. Spike went to Buffy and tried to comfort her. She wasn't even twenty-two yet. In this day and age she seemed so young to be a mother. All the joy he felt left him, and he was furious with himself.
He never worried about any sort of protection. Hell, he had never even been with a women when he had been alive. He vaguely remembered seeing condom commercials on TV, but in all honesty he wouldn't have known what to do with one. That was always one of the perks of being undead, sterile and STD free. He hadn't even been back for three months yet and he had already fucked up royally. He had been daft enough to have assumed that Buffy had taken care of that end of things. He knew there were shots and pills women could take to keep from having children, but why would Buffy have had to even worry about that? Spike had been her only lover in over two years and up until a few months ago his seed had been as dead as him. He knew nothing about pregnancy or babies. Suddenly the furry left him and he was now frightened. He just held Buffy for a few moments before he could think of anything to say.
"You want to keep it, don't you?" Spike asked hopefully.
"I don't know." Buffy replied honestly in between sobs. "Part of me thinks that I would be selfish for bringing a child into this fucked up world. And part of me wants this child like nothing else in this world."
That was good enough for Spike.
"I want this baby, pet. I want us to be a family. I'll take care of you." Spike said, trying to comfort her.
Buffy was relieved that Spike was there for her, but she was terrified of becoming too dependent on him.
*******************************
Spike was moved in by the end of the week and Dawn was thrilled. There was finally a man in the house. It seemed silly, but she felt safer. The fact that he was sexy and British greatly helped his welcoming in her eyes. Spike was like Superman when it came to domestic chores. He had gone to Borders and cleaned their baby section out, seeing how he knew absolutely nothing about babies. He read about how Buffy's hormones would change, what kind of foods she needed to eat, how much exercise was too much, and a vast range of other topics He became fascinated with the changes that Buffy was going through. Perhaps for the first time, he was truly realizing what it was like to be human again. He truly was Buffy's care taker. He made sure that either he, Xander, or Clem went patrolling with her. He worked daily on the baby's room, while adding an addition onto the back of the house, just in case Willow came home.
The weeks were a whirlwind for Buffy. Between Spike moving in, having a life growing inside of her, having a baby sitter go on patrol with her, and having absolutely no privacy, she was beginning to lose her nerves. She was rarely alone and Spike was always keeping her busy. She just really wanted to be left alone for a little bit, and she wanted to have the option of doing nothing, if she wanted. Spike had managed to drive Buffy into near suffocation in a few short weeks. Hell, he was following her to the bathroom. She was barely through her first trimester and Spike was ready to put her on bed rest for the next six months. The only thing that she had left, that was still enjoyable was the sex, and even that was almost too infrequent. Spike was driving her insane. He was now so perfect, so patient, so kind, so decent that Buffy has sunk to picking fights with him. Just for a glimpse of what he once was.
********************************
Spike maybe human now, but he had picked up that Buffy seemed like she was ready to throttle him. He just couldn't figure out why, he was everything thing she wanted now. He discussed his concerns with Xander one night.
"So, former deadboy junior, what's the problem? You look about as miserable as I am." Xander inquired.
"Yeah, well Buffy's been a real bitch lately and I don't think it's just the hormones. She's been shutting me out, being real avoidy as you scoobies would put it."
"Well, she doesn't want to become too dependent on you again. She already made that mistake once and you took off on her. What's to say you won't leave her again? I'm sure part of it is she feels like she's losing control in her life."
"I guess I never saw it that way. She has to know how much I love her. I don't want to run her life, I don't want to leave her, I just want to be part of her." Spike replied.
"Maybe you need to just tell her that."
After that the two men made small talk for about an hour or so before they went their separate ways for the evening. Spike spent most of the night walking around town, pondering his next move. He tried to stick to the main drag, knowing that the undead population of Sunnydale usually avoided it. It was quickly approaching dawn before it dawned on him. It was the one thing he hadn't thought about. The one thing to make sure Buffy knew he wasn't going to leave her.
Chapter Twelve
Spike did what he promised. He gave Buffy her space. He and Xander still had their Thursday night poker game. He still went to visit Tara's grave. Dawn would come over a couple of times a week to study. Soon the days passed into weeks and he hadn't heard from Buffy. He thought space meant a few days, two weeks absolute tops. Spike was beginning to become seriously worried. Maybe she didn't want him anymore. Spike tried to ease his paranoia by reading and reacquainting himself with some old friends.
Clem was thrilled to see Spike, but that was more because Clem got to keep Spike's old crypt when he found out about Spike doing the human thing. He went up to LA a few times to catch up with Peaches. Well, more to do damage control. Actually, the first thing Angel did when he saw Spike was sucker punched him in the nose and kick him in the gut. Spike pretty much figured he had that coming though. After that the two kept in pretty close touch, having at least one thing in common, Buffy.
Spike patiently waited for Buffy to figure out what it was that she wanted After a month had passed he simply couldn't wait any longer. He talked to Dawn and found out when the Slayer would be home. He brought a bouquet of wild flowers and nervously approached the house on Revello Drive. He walked to the door and gently knocked and waited. Buffy answered. Her eyes were red and puffy, it looked like she had been crying for days. She just looked at him, gave him a haggard smile and invited him in. Spike walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa, while Buffy sat on the arm of the oversized chair next to the couch. She just stared at him, like a frightened animal, not sure of how to proceed. Spike proceeded for her.
"I'm sorry to bother you luv. But it's been a month and I know you need your space, but I've missed you. Why have you been crying? It's not because of me is it?" Spike said, not liking the concept of being the reason his pretty little Buffy was obviously so miserable.
"Yes.no.I don't know. Spike, I'm sorry I haven't called. I just found something out about two weeks ago that had confused me. And no one else knows and I'm sick of keeping this secret.I guess you should be the first to know. I'm.uh.well.sorta.pregnant.
Spike just stared at her. Inside he was beaming with pride. He was thrilled he was going to be a father. Then doubt suddenly clouded his mind when he looked upon Buffy's sad face. He knew he should be comforting her, not thinking about baby names. Spike went to Buffy and tried to comfort her. She wasn't even twenty-two yet. In this day and age she seemed so young to be a mother. All the joy he felt left him, and he was furious with himself.
He never worried about any sort of protection. Hell, he had never even been with a women when he had been alive. He vaguely remembered seeing condom commercials on TV, but in all honesty he wouldn't have known what to do with one. That was always one of the perks of being undead, sterile and STD free. He hadn't even been back for three months yet and he had already fucked up royally. He had been daft enough to have assumed that Buffy had taken care of that end of things. He knew there were shots and pills women could take to keep from having children, but why would Buffy have had to even worry about that? Spike had been her only lover in over two years and up until a few months ago his seed had been as dead as him. He knew nothing about pregnancy or babies. Suddenly the furry left him and he was now frightened. He just held Buffy for a few moments before he could think of anything to say.
"You want to keep it, don't you?" Spike asked hopefully.
"I don't know." Buffy replied honestly in between sobs. "Part of me thinks that I would be selfish for bringing a child into this fucked up world. And part of me wants this child like nothing else in this world."
That was good enough for Spike.
"I want this baby, pet. I want us to be a family. I'll take care of you." Spike said, trying to comfort her.
Buffy was relieved that Spike was there for her, but she was terrified of becoming too dependent on him.
*******************************
Spike was moved in by the end of the week and Dawn was thrilled. There was finally a man in the house. It seemed silly, but she felt safer. The fact that he was sexy and British greatly helped his welcoming in her eyes. Spike was like Superman when it came to domestic chores. He had gone to Borders and cleaned their baby section out, seeing how he knew absolutely nothing about babies. He read about how Buffy's hormones would change, what kind of foods she needed to eat, how much exercise was too much, and a vast range of other topics He became fascinated with the changes that Buffy was going through. Perhaps for the first time, he was truly realizing what it was like to be human again. He truly was Buffy's care taker. He made sure that either he, Xander, or Clem went patrolling with her. He worked daily on the baby's room, while adding an addition onto the back of the house, just in case Willow came home.
The weeks were a whirlwind for Buffy. Between Spike moving in, having a life growing inside of her, having a baby sitter go on patrol with her, and having absolutely no privacy, she was beginning to lose her nerves. She was rarely alone and Spike was always keeping her busy. She just really wanted to be left alone for a little bit, and she wanted to have the option of doing nothing, if she wanted. Spike had managed to drive Buffy into near suffocation in a few short weeks. Hell, he was following her to the bathroom. She was barely through her first trimester and Spike was ready to put her on bed rest for the next six months. The only thing that she had left, that was still enjoyable was the sex, and even that was almost too infrequent. Spike was driving her insane. He was now so perfect, so patient, so kind, so decent that Buffy has sunk to picking fights with him. Just for a glimpse of what he once was.
********************************
Spike maybe human now, but he had picked up that Buffy seemed like she was ready to throttle him. He just couldn't figure out why, he was everything thing she wanted now. He discussed his concerns with Xander one night.
"So, former deadboy junior, what's the problem? You look about as miserable as I am." Xander inquired.
"Yeah, well Buffy's been a real bitch lately and I don't think it's just the hormones. She's been shutting me out, being real avoidy as you scoobies would put it."
"Well, she doesn't want to become too dependent on you again. She already made that mistake once and you took off on her. What's to say you won't leave her again? I'm sure part of it is she feels like she's losing control in her life."
"I guess I never saw it that way. She has to know how much I love her. I don't want to run her life, I don't want to leave her, I just want to be part of her." Spike replied.
"Maybe you need to just tell her that."
After that the two men made small talk for about an hour or so before they went their separate ways for the evening. Spike spent most of the night walking around town, pondering his next move. He tried to stick to the main drag, knowing that the undead population of Sunnydale usually avoided it. It was quickly approaching dawn before it dawned on him. It was the one thing he hadn't thought about. The one thing to make sure Buffy knew he wasn't going to leave her.