A/N ok back with chappy 5! Enjoy-
At the loft: Mark lies in his bed, in the dark, thinking about what he should do about this disaster, what he should do with the rest of his life. He knew this day was coming for a while now- he tried to prepare for it- but really, there wasn't a way to prepare for it. He had known Roger since high school- he couldn't lose him now- he just couldn't. "Oh God, I have to go see him," the lonely filmmaker thought as he started to get up from his bed and pack his stuff. It was around 12 pm- Mark didn't think the hospital was going to let him visit him- but he knew he had to say one more goodbye.
At the hospital: Roger lies as he always does in his hospital bed. He was so uncomfortable there- it reminded him of death, "Well it reminds everyone of death," he supposed. But he was always surrounded by it, it seemed, well at least in the last 3 years. He wanted to see Mark again- just to say goodbye. Even thought he was just there checking on him this afternoon, they didn't say goodbye, and Roger had a feeling tonight was his last, he was hoping his feeling was erroneous, but he didn't think it was going to be. It was so hard to stay awake- but he thought if he went to sleep, he might not wake up again. He was so cold- oh God so cold, his fever was the same as always 104-105, not good, he was shivering and sweating, and so pale. But- he had surprised the doctors for staying alive this long- they thought he was going to die that first night when he came in- but he managed to stay alive for two more weeks after that! But now, it was his time to go- as much as they wanted him to stay alive, they didn't want to see his suffering any more, Roger knew that too."
Suddenly, a distressed Mark came running through Roger's hospital room door. Mark's face lightened up when he saw Roger, as did Roger's when he saw Mark- but Mark's expression went right back to worry.
Mark: Roger- I'm so sorry, I need to tell you something.
Roger: Me too Mark- let me go first.
Mark: Ok...
Roger: Look- Mark, I'm going to die tonight- DON'T, tell me I'm not, because I'm the person who is dying, and I thought I would know if I was. But look, you- you've been here for me so long, all my life practically- and I've
(Roger just looks down)
Mark sees how much pain is going through his whole body just to say this
Mark: I know Roger- I know.
Roger: NO- Mark, I want to say this, let me say it! I've never been there for you. I just want to say that- that I am so sorry, oh God Mark please forgive me. I- I, I love you!
(Roger tries to cover his face from Mark, so Mark can't see him getting upset- but he doesn't have enough energy to lift his arms- he hardly had enough energy to say that)
Mark: Oh God Roger- I know Rog, I know, I just wanted to say that- I love, I love you. I always have. Oh God Roger- don't leave me now!
(Mark's knees give out and he falls to the floor, his arms are covering his eyes and his elbows are leaning on the bed...Roger manages to make out these few words)
Roger: I have always loved you Mark- I always will.
(He tries to pick up his hand- but he can't, Mark sees this)
Mark takes his hand and just rubs it- trying to get as much heat into Rogers body as possible. Mark just holds Roger as he softly slowly falls asleep
Mark: (Whispers) Goodbye...
Eventually Mark himself dozes off. It's not until Mark hears that loud *beep* that he remembers that he is in the hospital with Roger- and Roger is - is dead.
Mark takes one look at him
Mark: Oh God this can't be happening, no Roger wake up wake up! Don't leave me- no, don't leave me- (getting softer) nooo.
He just collapses on the ground and starts to sob- uncontrollably. The nurses come in and try to calm him. Mark doesn't want anyone near him- he just wants to wake up, have this be a nightmare- like all the other nightmares he's had about this, but this time it wasn't- no matter what he did, nothing was going to bring Rog back. He just had to go- go where? He didn't know- there wasn't anything waiting for him at home- nothing. He couldn't do this- he couldn't live his life in New York. He had to go- go away, someplace far, far away where he could forget everything and start a new life.
"Oh God- what am I doing?"
A/N: Yes- this is my last chappy *tear* - well for the moment- I want you guys to decide if I should continue. well, I hope you liked it...oh and please, please, please REVIEW!!!! Even if you don't like it- but like I said, please don't flame! Ok, thank you so much for reading. Much Luv to all of you - and No Day But Today!!!
At the loft: Mark lies in his bed, in the dark, thinking about what he should do about this disaster, what he should do with the rest of his life. He knew this day was coming for a while now- he tried to prepare for it- but really, there wasn't a way to prepare for it. He had known Roger since high school- he couldn't lose him now- he just couldn't. "Oh God, I have to go see him," the lonely filmmaker thought as he started to get up from his bed and pack his stuff. It was around 12 pm- Mark didn't think the hospital was going to let him visit him- but he knew he had to say one more goodbye.
At the hospital: Roger lies as he always does in his hospital bed. He was so uncomfortable there- it reminded him of death, "Well it reminds everyone of death," he supposed. But he was always surrounded by it, it seemed, well at least in the last 3 years. He wanted to see Mark again- just to say goodbye. Even thought he was just there checking on him this afternoon, they didn't say goodbye, and Roger had a feeling tonight was his last, he was hoping his feeling was erroneous, but he didn't think it was going to be. It was so hard to stay awake- but he thought if he went to sleep, he might not wake up again. He was so cold- oh God so cold, his fever was the same as always 104-105, not good, he was shivering and sweating, and so pale. But- he had surprised the doctors for staying alive this long- they thought he was going to die that first night when he came in- but he managed to stay alive for two more weeks after that! But now, it was his time to go- as much as they wanted him to stay alive, they didn't want to see his suffering any more, Roger knew that too."
Suddenly, a distressed Mark came running through Roger's hospital room door. Mark's face lightened up when he saw Roger, as did Roger's when he saw Mark- but Mark's expression went right back to worry.
Mark: Roger- I'm so sorry, I need to tell you something.
Roger: Me too Mark- let me go first.
Mark: Ok...
Roger: Look- Mark, I'm going to die tonight- DON'T, tell me I'm not, because I'm the person who is dying, and I thought I would know if I was. But look, you- you've been here for me so long, all my life practically- and I've
(Roger just looks down)
Mark sees how much pain is going through his whole body just to say this
Mark: I know Roger- I know.
Roger: NO- Mark, I want to say this, let me say it! I've never been there for you. I just want to say that- that I am so sorry, oh God Mark please forgive me. I- I, I love you!
(Roger tries to cover his face from Mark, so Mark can't see him getting upset- but he doesn't have enough energy to lift his arms- he hardly had enough energy to say that)
Mark: Oh God Roger- I know Rog, I know, I just wanted to say that- I love, I love you. I always have. Oh God Roger- don't leave me now!
(Mark's knees give out and he falls to the floor, his arms are covering his eyes and his elbows are leaning on the bed...Roger manages to make out these few words)
Roger: I have always loved you Mark- I always will.
(He tries to pick up his hand- but he can't, Mark sees this)
Mark takes his hand and just rubs it- trying to get as much heat into Rogers body as possible. Mark just holds Roger as he softly slowly falls asleep
Mark: (Whispers) Goodbye...
Eventually Mark himself dozes off. It's not until Mark hears that loud *beep* that he remembers that he is in the hospital with Roger- and Roger is - is dead.
Mark takes one look at him
Mark: Oh God this can't be happening, no Roger wake up wake up! Don't leave me- no, don't leave me- (getting softer) nooo.
He just collapses on the ground and starts to sob- uncontrollably. The nurses come in and try to calm him. Mark doesn't want anyone near him- he just wants to wake up, have this be a nightmare- like all the other nightmares he's had about this, but this time it wasn't- no matter what he did, nothing was going to bring Rog back. He just had to go- go where? He didn't know- there wasn't anything waiting for him at home- nothing. He couldn't do this- he couldn't live his life in New York. He had to go- go away, someplace far, far away where he could forget everything and start a new life.
"Oh God- what am I doing?"
A/N: Yes- this is my last chappy *tear* - well for the moment- I want you guys to decide if I should continue. well, I hope you liked it...oh and please, please, please REVIEW!!!! Even if you don't like it- but like I said, please don't flame! Ok, thank you so much for reading. Much Luv to all of you - and No Day But Today!!!