Chapter 4: Part 2: Unwelcome Revelations
A/N: Gomeeeen!!_You're all gonna be so mad at me now!! _I know, I was supposed to finish this by the end of *last* summer _ Arrrrgh, anyway, here's the latest chapter, and I'm really really reaaaaaaally sorry!!! *makes puppy dog eyes* Please read and review!
Disclaimer: Arrrgh! Can't be bothered to repeat this anymore now, so let me just say this again: I don't own Inuyasha! The only character that belongs to me in this is Kurozaki-sensei, who I've just made up for the heck of it! YamiMatsu fans will recognize this name! :p ^_^ Now, on with the story!
During the next two days before her results from the hospital arrived, Kagome was very worried about what was going on in her body. She could feel that something was wrong, but she didn't know exactly what. Instead, she tried to find comfort in Inuyasha's arms when the dreams came.
Result day inevitably came, and she entered Kurozaki-sensei's office full of dread. Her already low amount of optimism left dropped even lower as she saw the grave look on his face.
"Kagome-san. I'd like you to take a seat. Your report has come back, and I'm afraid that the results are rather…unfavourable."
Oh, Lord, please just let it be something minor…oh Lord…she thought to herself silently.
"I'm afraid that, you seem to have a tumour in your lungs Kagome-san."
There was a collective gasp of shock and horror from Kagome's grandfather and mother (Souta was still at school). It was all Kagome could do to keep from crying out in disbelief and horror.
She felt as if her mind was reeling, as if some black hole were swallowing her up. "I have a tumour…in my body?"
Still in disbelief she asked him:
"Are you sure, sensei? I mean, could you have mixed up my report with someone else's? I'm sure that happens…" All hope evaporated when she saw Kurozaki-sensei shake his head in a dreadful finality.
"I'm sorry Kagome-san, but…"
Even before he finished his sentence, Kagome jumped up from her chair suddenly with a painful suppressed sob and ran from the room. Her mother got up immediately to stop her, but she was gone.
"Kagome--!"
Kurozaki-sensei sighed unhappily.
"I'm very sorry to be a bringer of bad news. I would never have wanted this to happen to anyone, especially not to a girl as young as she. The chances of a lung tumour, and a very serious one at that, are one in a million." He looked up at them suddenly.
"Are you sure that she's only been having this pain for the past few days?" Kagome's mother and grandfather both nodded mutely.
"Because…and in no way could it be possible, in my experience with patients…that size of the tumour seems to have been accumulated for the past 10 years!"
"10…10 years?"
The tears were streaming down her face uncontrollably as she ran from the doctor's room, far away from the hospital, far away from the unwelcome, horrid revelation.
The revelation that she would soon die.
Of course, Kurozaki-sensei hadn't said so in so many words, but she knew it; knew that it could not be stopped; no matter how hard they tried, it would never go away. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she knew, that it must have been Kikyo's last attempt at keeping her and Inuyasha apart. All her surroundings flew past her as she ran with no particular destination, the tears falling all the time; if anyone had looked at her closely, they would have seen the indescribable pain in her eyes. Finally, exhausted to the point of collapsing, she found that she could run no further, and she was slightly surprised - if she actually had anymore feelings at all that is - to find that she was in front of the Goshimboku tree just outside the temple.
She smiled to herself bitterly.
Even near death…I always return to you…she felt the wrenching pain in her heart. Always you…Inuyasha…
A sudden searing pain spread from her abdomen upwards toward her brain and she collapsed to her knees, unable to withstand the pain, and passed out.
Inuyasha…
Inuyasha was jerked out of his sleep suddenly, a feeling of being cut-off from Kagome jarring him completely awake; he had to dig his claws into the branch he was on to stop himself from falling off the tree. "Shit!" he cursed out loud. There's something wrong with Kagome! I can feel it! The fear he felt was overwhelming, as he sped towards Kaede's hut, limbs moving through the dark forest automatically, his thoughts only for Kagome's safety and that if there really was anything wrong with her, he'd be able to do something about it.
When he reached Kaede's house, he almost broke down the door trying to get in, and succeeded in waking not only Kaede but also Miroku, Sango and Shippo who had already taken up defensive stances despite being asleep only moments earlier before Inuyasha had burst in through the door.
Kaede took one look at his frenzied overall condition and summed it up immediately.
"Something's up with Kagome." His only answer was a frantic nod, his amber eyes holding anxiety, confusion and pain as he took a seat on the floor. Sango lit a fire for light, and sat down, cradling Shippo, beside Miroku who was already taking all this in with a grave look on his features.
"I woke up suddenly just now." He stopped momentarily; unsure of how to say what he had felt, or rather, had not felt.
"And I…I couldn't feel her at all." Inuyasha's pained eyes looked up at Kaede's.
"It's like…it's as if she was suddenly cut off from me!" He slammed his fist into the ground, angry with himself. "I can't feel anything from her right now!" His voice grew softer, afraid.
"I…I don't even know if she's…if she's alive now…"
Everyone in the room except Inuyasha gasped in horror at what he had just said.
Smiling weakly, face a very pale white, Sango put a hand on his shoulder, and his whole posture stiffened.
"She wouldn't die on you just like that!" Inuyasha turned slightly to look at her, unshed tears of pain held back, hoping. "You two have a great bond right?" Her voice quivered. "So she wouldn't just let go of that! Please, Inuyasha, reach into that dream world and find her!"
"You can't let go of her now…" Sango's voice died to a whisper; tears fell from her eyes and stained the floor, weeping silently, as Miroku moved over to comfort her.
"I…" Inuyasha started, but was promptly interrupted by Miroku.
"Inuyasha, we all know that Kagome-sama loves you very much; Sango's right, she wouldn't let go of the bond that both of you share, but maybe she's experiencing a horrendous pain from Kikyo's curse." Miroku said gravely, cradling the crying Sango in his arms.
"You are the only link left to Kagome-sama now. Please bring her back to us."
"Inuyasha, please bring Kagome home to us!" Shippo added, grasping Inuyasha's sleeve tightly, tears streaking down his petite face, eyes red.
The faint flicker of hope started to grow in Inuyasha's heart as he looked around the room at everybody, and smiled slightly, albeit tiredly.
"Minna…ore wa…ganbarimasu!"
It didn't matter to him that he didn't directly get an answer to his statement; he knew that they all believed that he would be able to do something somehow, and his heart somehow warmed even as Miroku turned his head to hide his tears, Sango cried harder and Shippo wailed louder.
Kaede however had stayed quiet the whole time.
"Inuyasha." He was slightly startled when her quiet voice pierced through the noise.
"Aa." Inuyasha acknowledged her.
"I'll prepare a sleeping potion for you now so that you can sleep right away; you'll reach the dream world in no time at all." She got up to get some herbs and a bowl to crush the herbs in.
"…Arigatou, baba." Was his only reply.
Soon enough, Inuyasha drank the potion, and fell asleep almost immediately, entering the dream world, as Kaede, Miroku, Sango and Shippo watched on.
*Start dream sequence*
He could hear her voice calling his name, echoing in the misty fog in front of him. Spotting her silhouette out of the corner of his eye, he rushed towards her, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. He found her in curled up in a foetal position, eyes closed. He reached out to touch her skin tentatively. Kagome opened her eyes very slowly, as if any excessive movement might have taken all the strength from her. Which it might well have, in the condition that she was in. She smiled at him, not moving from her position and then winced. Inuyasha pulled her into his lap, trying his hardest not to hurt her in the least, determined to comfort her.
He stroked her hair softly, and she clung to his robe, her head on his lap.
"Is something wrong, Kagome?"
She started to shake her head, and then stopped. He's got a right to know, she thought to herself.
Sighing, while valiantly trying to hold back the ever-present tears that threatened to fall, she muttered into his coat, "Yea…everything's wrong really. I went to the hospital today to get my report back."
She felt his arms around her shoulders tighten fractionally, almost unnoticeably, "The doctor said that…that I had a tumour in my lungs."
"Tumour?" Inuyasha was clueless, but he already didn't like the sound of that.
"Excess growth of cells. It takes up the space and nutrients of other normal living cells, and continues to grow larger and larger."
He said nothing. He didn't know what he could say to her; how could he? Tell her that everything would be alright? He sure didn't think that he'd convince her at all with that. Just say "Oh, ok"? He squashed that as soon as he thought of it. This is absolutely ridiculous! He didn't want to believe in what he'd just heard from Kagome. How could this happen to her? Surely the gods can't be this cruel, to bring such an early death on a maiden so young, with a future to look forward to…a future with me? He felt as if all life was being ripped away from him, bit by bit, so as to make it as painful as possible, and he was right. Biting his lip, and saying what he knew were meaningless words, he whispered to her.
"I'm so sorry, Kagome."
She looked up at him, slightly shocked.
"It's not your fault at all, Inuyasha." A small genuine smile lit her face. "As long as you're here, I don't care about the pain."
His heart wrenched. But I do! I hate to see you like this! I don't want to see you suffer! I can't to just look on, while you're suffering in pain! Distress and worry encircled his thoughts, as he just held her close. I brought this on you, didn't I? If I hadn't come to see you here, you wouldn't be ill, wouldn't be on the edge of dying! If only I never told you at all, then Kikyo wouldn't have put the curse on you, on the well, if only…if only…
He suddenly saw the answer clearly in front of his eyes.
"Kagome…"
"Mmm?" she looked up at him, only to feel her lips smothered by his, and all she could feel was the softness of his lips, and the warmth of his embrace; it overrode the pain in her abdomen, and she wished that it would never end. She was surprised when she tasted the tears on her lips, and her eyes opened, to find tears streaming down Inuyasha's face, and she broke the kiss.
Holding his face in her hands, she kissed his tears away, and held him to her heart. He clung onto her like a drowning man would to a piece of driftwood, and buried his face into her clothes.
His felt as if his heart had been pierced with a thousand needles; he couldn't believe that he was going to let her go so soon now that he'd found her, but it was the only way. If it meant her life would be spared, he would sacrifice the physical and mental bond he had with her, even if it would hurt them both deeply. As long as she lives! I only want her to live! Even if…even if she learns to love someone else! Kami-sama, anything as long as she lives! The tears continued to fall down his face as he cried harder, his sobs getting louder and louder. He lifted his face up to hers suddenly, and kissed her desperately, his tears mingling with hers.
I wish he wouldn't blame it all on himself! Kagome thought. I can't change this, he can't change this! And I would go through anything for him! Anything! As long as I have the warmth of his embrace, as long as I can see him, as long as he loves me back!
They held onto each other like that for a while, desperately kissing, running hands over each other, one for everlasting memory's sake, one for the sake of knowing that her lover was actually there with her, even in this dreamscape land.
Inuyasha pulled away from Kagome suddenly, stood up and walked out of her hands' reach, turning his back to her.
"Inuyasha?" There was confusion in her voice, as she reached out to him.
"…We can't meet anymore." His voice seemed distant to her ears, and it jarred her out of the cloud of confusion.
"What?" Disbelief, shock, pain. He didn't need to turn around to see the emotions on her face.
He was silent, afraid that if he said anything, he wouldn't be able to carry out this act of pain.
Kagome laughed weakly. "You're joking right? It's only to make me laugh right?"
More silence from Inuyasha.
She stopped laughing, her voice so soft that if he was human he would never have heard it.
"Ne, Inuyasha? Ne?"
He closed his eyes tightly, and his nails dug into his palms so hard that they started to draw blood.
"I love you Kagome!" The words that came out were choked. "We can't meet again! Not like this again! …I…don't want you to die!" He whirled around to face her.
"I told you, Inuyasha! It's not about the pain!" She winced as the said pain started acting up in her ribs again.
He started towards her when he saw her wince, but stopped himself before he could move any further. "Ne, Kagome, I think that if I never see you again, the pain will stop right? And then, that tumour thing will go away, right? So you won't die! You won't die!" he rubbed his eyes furiously, tears starting down his cheeks again.
"Inuyasha…" She was speechless; could only feel the whirlwind of emotions that surrounded her. She ran towards him.
"Sayonara Kagome.... Sayonara...Hontou ni gomen ne..." He smiled sadly, and then he disappeared into the mist.
As she reached his figure, everything seemed to have gone into slow motion, as she reached for him, and he disappeared right in front of her eyes, that sad smile again. Time returned as she fell onto the 'floor' of the dreamscape, not painfully as the ground wasn't hard; her heart, however, was a different matter, as she burst into a fresh round of tears; she felt it shatter like glass, into a million shards, never to be put together again…
A/N: o.O That was a really long chapter now. X.X ack, you all probably lost track of this story all together, since I haven't updated for more than a year and a half now! . Lots of stuff has happened lately, but I'm finally back to finish it off.
So…that was quite a tearjerker wasn't it? Gomen to have taken forever to throw that chapter out. . you all hate me now for doing that to them, don't you . just you wait until you see the next chapter. X.X ack, I can imagine all the flaming. As for what happens next, stay tuned! Want to know what the Jap. phrases mean?
1) "Minna…ore wa…ganbarimasu!" – Inuyasha = "everyone, I'll do my best!"
2) kami-sama = God
3) "sayonara" = goodbye (as in, the forever type of goodbye _)
4) "…hontou ni gomen ne.." = "I'm really sorry"
_ Once again, gomen nasai for taking so long! I'm not sure whether the next chapter will be the last one or not, it depends on the length; I'll alter it when the time comes, but for now, just wait for the next one to come out!
In the next chapter of "When you're gone…"
Chapter 5: Lost Hope?
"No…it can't be!"
"I can't take this anymore …someone…anyone…kill me please…"
"You've become so pathetic…Inuyasha"