The Proposal - December-June 2002/2003
Chapter Fourteen
Spike walked into the Summer's home at around 10 am. He silently walked up the stairs to find Buffy sleeping in what was now their bed. He looked at her lovingly before he gently pushed her awake. Buffy opened her big green eyes and stared into his hauntingly dark blue ones. She quietly yawned and sat up in bed. Spike knelt on the floor next to the bed and held Buffy's hand.
"Buffy," he began. "I love you and I never want to do anything to hurt you ever again. I want you to know that I will never leave you. You are my world, and I want you to feel comfortable in it. I want our baby to have the kind of loving home that neither one us ever got to fully enjoy. I want us to be a family and I want to spend an eternity with you. Buffy Anne Summers, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
With that Spike pulled out a small purple velvet box that contained a two carat princess cut diamond with a platinum band. Spike's hand shook involuntarily as he presented the ring to his lover. Buffy just stared at him in disbelief. She took the ring from him and just stared at it. It's so sparkly was her reaction. Buffy allowed a few tears to run down her pretty face, which Spike took as a good sign. He rose from the floor to sit next to Buffy and attempted to place the ring on Buffy's finger. She immediately backed away. She then looked at Spike through horrified eyes.
"I can't, we can't, it's too fast. Not sure how I feel." Buffy practically started to hyperventilate as she attempted to finish her sentence.
Spike just looked at her like she has just ripped out his still beating heart.
"What do you mean it's too fast? We've been dancing around this for five bloody years woman. We love each other, I can feel it, even if you don't want to admit it. And even if you don't, please let me help to take care of you."
For some unknown reason, or it could have been her permanent case of PMS, Buffy snapped. She just stared at Spike, hurt and anger filled her eyes as she spoke.
"Spike, William, I'm not sure if I love you. I'm not sure if I ever loved you, and if I did, I'm not sure if I love you anymore. Right now, I'm not sure if I even like you. Above all else, I do not need you, or anyone else to take care of me. I need some space, and God damn it - you are not giving it to me. You smother me, like I'm some fragile little girl. Just back the fuck off Spike. Jesus, did you actually think if we got married that everything would be OK? For some one as old as you, you can be pretty fucking stupid if the occasion is right."
Buffy shoved Spike out of her room, shoved him down the stairs, and shoved him out the front door onto the porch.
"Just stay out of my way Spike. I think you've done more than enough already." Buffy finished coldly as she closed the door.
Spike just stared at her door, much like the first time he had been de- invited. He was unable to move. He felt as if he had been slammed against a brick wall. Spike stood there a few moments longer before he threw his hands up in the air as a sign of defeat. There was nothing else for him, nothing more he could do, except to drown his sorrows in a nice bottle of bourbon.
Buffy braced herself against the door. She could still feel him on the other side. Tears were streaming freely down her face. She had been so cruel, she knew part of her still loved him, would always love him. Things were for the best this way though. She calmly wiped the tears from her face and retreated back to her bedroom, where she spent the remainder of the day crying for her lost love. The Spike she knew was now forever dead to her.
*******************************
The lines of communication between Buffy and Spike became increasingly worse. Spike tried in vain to contact Buffy a few times to no avail. After Buffy told him to "fuck off or I'll call the police" the last time, he knew that things were going to be dirty from that moment on. He spent a lot of his free time talking to lawyers, attempting to find out if he could get custody. He never took the legal action though, always hoping that his Slayer would see the error of her ways. Buffy was stubborn though, and she never did see what the silent treatment was doing to Spike.
Xander and Dawn would stop by Spike's on occasion and give him reports on the pregnancy. Xander would go on about how Buffy glowed more and more every day. Dawn on the other hand, informed Spike that Buffy was being a bigger bee-otch than usual. Spike would chuckle slightly at that and the two would sit on the couch with their hot chocolate and talk for hours about everything and nothing. Dawn felt horrible about how Buffy treated Spike, and tried to make up for everything the best she could. And the more time she spent with Spike, the more she started to fall for him. Things had progressed far beyond teenage crush in her eyes. To her, Spike was everything - vamp or no vamp. It got so bad that Dawn refused to sympathize with Buffy at all anymore, and she finally confronted her about it.
**************************
Buffy was sitting uncomfortably in her rocking chair that Xander had made for her. She had been trying to rest; her feet were sore and swollen. She sat there and rocked, silently cursing Spike for doing this to her. And the next moment she was weeping because he wasn't there to comfort her.
Dawn walked in and saw her sister in her rocker, crying. She sat on Buffy's bed for awhile and just looked at her sister. Buffy finally began to dry her tears and solemnly looked at Dawn.
"You OK?" Dawn asked sincerely.
"Yeah, you know, hormones." Buffy lied, smiling sweetly.
"Yeah, hormones." Dawn said before continuing. "Buffy, we need to talk. And you really are not going to like what I have to say."
"What is it Dawn?" Buffy asked, suddenly concerned.
Cutting to the chase, not wanting to beat around the bush, Dawn simply stated;
"Buffy, you are going to let Spike see his child."
"I don't have to do anything. Spike is no longer either of our concern." Buffy replied much more smugly than she felt at that moment.
"That's where you are wrong big sister." Dawn replied in the most threatening voice she could muster. "You see, Spike has been talking to lawyers over the last few months. And they told him that he has a pretty good case. They said there was about a 90% chance that Spike could get sole custody if he really wanted to. Spike has a better job, more free time than you, and a spotless police record, unlike you. If he really wanted, he could play very dirty."
"Well, if dear old Spike has this much power, why doesn't he use it then?" Buffy asked, only letting the slightest bit of fear show through.
"There is no way you are this clueless. Spike is so in love with you, it's sickening really. He worships you and wants to take care of you. He doesn't want to hurt you, but this is his last resort. If you don't work something out, he will take you to court."
Buffy just stared blankly at her younger sister, knowing that she was defeated.
"Give me a few days to think about it." Buffy said simply to Dawn.
Dawn left Buffy alone to be with her thoughts and returned to Spike to let him know of the new developments.
*******************************
Buffy thought very carefully about her choices. And neither were promising. As much as she wanted Spike out of her life (well, that's what she told herself anyway), and as much as she wanted to start over, she knew that Dawn was right, and Spike would win.
That evening Buffy called Dawn into her bedroom to lay out the conditions to her agreement.
"Dawn, I want you to make sure you tell Spike I don't like to be blackmailed like this. But it seems like I don't have much of a choice here. First, I don't want to talk to, look at, or hear about Spike. You will take care of all the Spike-related areas. Spike will get visiting rights every other weekend, two weeks during the summer, and every other holiday. Spike will put $150 a week into my checking account to cover expenses for the baby. If Spike can agree to these terms, we have a deal"
Dawn looked upon her sister with cold eyes before making her way to Spike's place. Buffy had been pretty unreasonable, but Dawn knew that Spike would accept her conditions. Because at this point, something was better than nothing. The entire way over there Dawn tried to figure out how things got so out of hand. She could still see that Buffy was in love with Spike, she just couldn't figure out why Buffy was doing what she was doing. Dawn had made up her mind though, if she had to choose between Spike and Buffy, she was on Spike's one hundred percent.
Dawn told Spike about Buffy's conditions and Spike took it surprisingly well. He kept telling himself that she would come around, she would eventually warm up to him. She was pregnant, she was scared, her hormones were all out of whack. Spike used any excuse he could think of, except that one where Buffy really didn't want him in her live anymore.
************************************
Preparations were made and Spike took care of everything. He was careful not to "accidentally" run into Buffy anywhere. He was going to wait for her to come crawling back to him, even though he tailed her every night she went on patrol with Xander. He was pissed, and hurt, and he was sick of being the whipped little puppy dog. He saw Dawn most days, and it was getting to the point where he started to feel midly uncomfortable around the lil' bit. He noticed the way she looked longingly at him, he wasn't completely daft. Dawn had recently traded her jeans and fuzzy sweaters in for low cut sweaters that she wore with either very tight pants or short skirts. She looked a lot like a little Buffy he would think at times.
But he would almost immediately push the thought out of his head, because most of the time it would lead to more perverted thoughts. Buffy didn't want anything to do with Spike, but she might make an exception and kick his ass if he so much as looked at Dawn the wrong way. Not that he would ever touch her, even if she threw herself at him. True, she was almost seventeen, but he just didn't feel that way about her. She was turning into a beautiful young woman, but she was still the Slayer's kid sister to him. The attention was flattering all the same. Aside from Dawns seemingly constant affections, and he and Xander's weekend drinking binges he was pretty much all alone. His thoughts often drifted off to Buffy though, and he would weep silently, cursing himself for his mortality.
***************************
Buffy was about to burst. She was due any day. She was one of those cute little pregnant women with her basketball belly. Buffy didn't feel very cute though. Everyday she cursed Spike as she swung her swollen feet out of bed and stretched her aching back. She would waddle through her daily chores and spent a majority of her day being bored out of her mind. She had been on maternity leave for a couple of weeks. Dawn baby-sat during the day and both Xander and Anya worked all day. Buffy was alone most of the time. She would mindlessly flip through the channels trying not to debate with herself on whether or not she did the right thing. Maybe she should have cut Spike some slack. He did have good intentions. Buffy knew as soon as she gave him a crumb that he would want a whole damn cake though. And it would start all over again. Not speaking to him was for the best. Things were better this way; she would try to convince herself.
While Buffy was in the middle of one of her inner rants, her water broke.
Spike walked into the Summer's home at around 10 am. He silently walked up the stairs to find Buffy sleeping in what was now their bed. He looked at her lovingly before he gently pushed her awake. Buffy opened her big green eyes and stared into his hauntingly dark blue ones. She quietly yawned and sat up in bed. Spike knelt on the floor next to the bed and held Buffy's hand.
"Buffy," he began. "I love you and I never want to do anything to hurt you ever again. I want you to know that I will never leave you. You are my world, and I want you to feel comfortable in it. I want our baby to have the kind of loving home that neither one us ever got to fully enjoy. I want us to be a family and I want to spend an eternity with you. Buffy Anne Summers, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
With that Spike pulled out a small purple velvet box that contained a two carat princess cut diamond with a platinum band. Spike's hand shook involuntarily as he presented the ring to his lover. Buffy just stared at him in disbelief. She took the ring from him and just stared at it. It's so sparkly was her reaction. Buffy allowed a few tears to run down her pretty face, which Spike took as a good sign. He rose from the floor to sit next to Buffy and attempted to place the ring on Buffy's finger. She immediately backed away. She then looked at Spike through horrified eyes.
"I can't, we can't, it's too fast. Not sure how I feel." Buffy practically started to hyperventilate as she attempted to finish her sentence.
Spike just looked at her like she has just ripped out his still beating heart.
"What do you mean it's too fast? We've been dancing around this for five bloody years woman. We love each other, I can feel it, even if you don't want to admit it. And even if you don't, please let me help to take care of you."
For some unknown reason, or it could have been her permanent case of PMS, Buffy snapped. She just stared at Spike, hurt and anger filled her eyes as she spoke.
"Spike, William, I'm not sure if I love you. I'm not sure if I ever loved you, and if I did, I'm not sure if I love you anymore. Right now, I'm not sure if I even like you. Above all else, I do not need you, or anyone else to take care of me. I need some space, and God damn it - you are not giving it to me. You smother me, like I'm some fragile little girl. Just back the fuck off Spike. Jesus, did you actually think if we got married that everything would be OK? For some one as old as you, you can be pretty fucking stupid if the occasion is right."
Buffy shoved Spike out of her room, shoved him down the stairs, and shoved him out the front door onto the porch.
"Just stay out of my way Spike. I think you've done more than enough already." Buffy finished coldly as she closed the door.
Spike just stared at her door, much like the first time he had been de- invited. He was unable to move. He felt as if he had been slammed against a brick wall. Spike stood there a few moments longer before he threw his hands up in the air as a sign of defeat. There was nothing else for him, nothing more he could do, except to drown his sorrows in a nice bottle of bourbon.
Buffy braced herself against the door. She could still feel him on the other side. Tears were streaming freely down her face. She had been so cruel, she knew part of her still loved him, would always love him. Things were for the best this way though. She calmly wiped the tears from her face and retreated back to her bedroom, where she spent the remainder of the day crying for her lost love. The Spike she knew was now forever dead to her.
*******************************
The lines of communication between Buffy and Spike became increasingly worse. Spike tried in vain to contact Buffy a few times to no avail. After Buffy told him to "fuck off or I'll call the police" the last time, he knew that things were going to be dirty from that moment on. He spent a lot of his free time talking to lawyers, attempting to find out if he could get custody. He never took the legal action though, always hoping that his Slayer would see the error of her ways. Buffy was stubborn though, and she never did see what the silent treatment was doing to Spike.
Xander and Dawn would stop by Spike's on occasion and give him reports on the pregnancy. Xander would go on about how Buffy glowed more and more every day. Dawn on the other hand, informed Spike that Buffy was being a bigger bee-otch than usual. Spike would chuckle slightly at that and the two would sit on the couch with their hot chocolate and talk for hours about everything and nothing. Dawn felt horrible about how Buffy treated Spike, and tried to make up for everything the best she could. And the more time she spent with Spike, the more she started to fall for him. Things had progressed far beyond teenage crush in her eyes. To her, Spike was everything - vamp or no vamp. It got so bad that Dawn refused to sympathize with Buffy at all anymore, and she finally confronted her about it.
**************************
Buffy was sitting uncomfortably in her rocking chair that Xander had made for her. She had been trying to rest; her feet were sore and swollen. She sat there and rocked, silently cursing Spike for doing this to her. And the next moment she was weeping because he wasn't there to comfort her.
Dawn walked in and saw her sister in her rocker, crying. She sat on Buffy's bed for awhile and just looked at her sister. Buffy finally began to dry her tears and solemnly looked at Dawn.
"You OK?" Dawn asked sincerely.
"Yeah, you know, hormones." Buffy lied, smiling sweetly.
"Yeah, hormones." Dawn said before continuing. "Buffy, we need to talk. And you really are not going to like what I have to say."
"What is it Dawn?" Buffy asked, suddenly concerned.
Cutting to the chase, not wanting to beat around the bush, Dawn simply stated;
"Buffy, you are going to let Spike see his child."
"I don't have to do anything. Spike is no longer either of our concern." Buffy replied much more smugly than she felt at that moment.
"That's where you are wrong big sister." Dawn replied in the most threatening voice she could muster. "You see, Spike has been talking to lawyers over the last few months. And they told him that he has a pretty good case. They said there was about a 90% chance that Spike could get sole custody if he really wanted to. Spike has a better job, more free time than you, and a spotless police record, unlike you. If he really wanted, he could play very dirty."
"Well, if dear old Spike has this much power, why doesn't he use it then?" Buffy asked, only letting the slightest bit of fear show through.
"There is no way you are this clueless. Spike is so in love with you, it's sickening really. He worships you and wants to take care of you. He doesn't want to hurt you, but this is his last resort. If you don't work something out, he will take you to court."
Buffy just stared blankly at her younger sister, knowing that she was defeated.
"Give me a few days to think about it." Buffy said simply to Dawn.
Dawn left Buffy alone to be with her thoughts and returned to Spike to let him know of the new developments.
*******************************
Buffy thought very carefully about her choices. And neither were promising. As much as she wanted Spike out of her life (well, that's what she told herself anyway), and as much as she wanted to start over, she knew that Dawn was right, and Spike would win.
That evening Buffy called Dawn into her bedroom to lay out the conditions to her agreement.
"Dawn, I want you to make sure you tell Spike I don't like to be blackmailed like this. But it seems like I don't have much of a choice here. First, I don't want to talk to, look at, or hear about Spike. You will take care of all the Spike-related areas. Spike will get visiting rights every other weekend, two weeks during the summer, and every other holiday. Spike will put $150 a week into my checking account to cover expenses for the baby. If Spike can agree to these terms, we have a deal"
Dawn looked upon her sister with cold eyes before making her way to Spike's place. Buffy had been pretty unreasonable, but Dawn knew that Spike would accept her conditions. Because at this point, something was better than nothing. The entire way over there Dawn tried to figure out how things got so out of hand. She could still see that Buffy was in love with Spike, she just couldn't figure out why Buffy was doing what she was doing. Dawn had made up her mind though, if she had to choose between Spike and Buffy, she was on Spike's one hundred percent.
Dawn told Spike about Buffy's conditions and Spike took it surprisingly well. He kept telling himself that she would come around, she would eventually warm up to him. She was pregnant, she was scared, her hormones were all out of whack. Spike used any excuse he could think of, except that one where Buffy really didn't want him in her live anymore.
************************************
Preparations were made and Spike took care of everything. He was careful not to "accidentally" run into Buffy anywhere. He was going to wait for her to come crawling back to him, even though he tailed her every night she went on patrol with Xander. He was pissed, and hurt, and he was sick of being the whipped little puppy dog. He saw Dawn most days, and it was getting to the point where he started to feel midly uncomfortable around the lil' bit. He noticed the way she looked longingly at him, he wasn't completely daft. Dawn had recently traded her jeans and fuzzy sweaters in for low cut sweaters that she wore with either very tight pants or short skirts. She looked a lot like a little Buffy he would think at times.
But he would almost immediately push the thought out of his head, because most of the time it would lead to more perverted thoughts. Buffy didn't want anything to do with Spike, but she might make an exception and kick his ass if he so much as looked at Dawn the wrong way. Not that he would ever touch her, even if she threw herself at him. True, she was almost seventeen, but he just didn't feel that way about her. She was turning into a beautiful young woman, but she was still the Slayer's kid sister to him. The attention was flattering all the same. Aside from Dawns seemingly constant affections, and he and Xander's weekend drinking binges he was pretty much all alone. His thoughts often drifted off to Buffy though, and he would weep silently, cursing himself for his mortality.
***************************
Buffy was about to burst. She was due any day. She was one of those cute little pregnant women with her basketball belly. Buffy didn't feel very cute though. Everyday she cursed Spike as she swung her swollen feet out of bed and stretched her aching back. She would waddle through her daily chores and spent a majority of her day being bored out of her mind. She had been on maternity leave for a couple of weeks. Dawn baby-sat during the day and both Xander and Anya worked all day. Buffy was alone most of the time. She would mindlessly flip through the channels trying not to debate with herself on whether or not she did the right thing. Maybe she should have cut Spike some slack. He did have good intentions. Buffy knew as soon as she gave him a crumb that he would want a whole damn cake though. And it would start all over again. Not speaking to him was for the best. Things were better this way; she would try to convince herself.
While Buffy was in the middle of one of her inner rants, her water broke.