Chapter 5: First Brush With PMS

The scene was beautiful. Meadows, butterflies, trees, flowers, bee's…birds. It was so quiet and peaceful. Kenshin sat in the midst of it all, unharmed by anything but at peace and happy that he could be here and away from the craziness of the real world. In his dream world he was alone, away from anyone and he was a guy still…until…

"HELLO KENSHIN!" shouted a girl as she dropped from the tree, making Kenshin jump.

"What…who are you? What are you doing in sessha's dream? Are you a demon spirit? Oro?"

Another girl jumped from this tree. She was different from the other one with a lighter skin complexion and short black hair. "Why hello Mr. Himura." Said the girl as she put her hands on her hips.

Kenshin made a bit of what sounded like an "Oro?" as he looked at the two strange girls. They were strange indeed.

The first girl he saw wore a green top that merged into a sort of mini-skirt at the bottom. The skirt part was like leaves, and they were colored yellow. Her black hair was long and out, ending at her waist in curls. She wore green gloves and she moved her hands back and forth in a hypnotic way as the other girl giggled. Her feet were bare. "I'm Ayako." She said. She also had on rainbow colored fairy wings

The second girl smiled. "I'm Tama." She wore a purple body suit that had glitter swirls all over it with arm sleeve cup off, while the other flared out at the end on the left, and one pants leg was cut off and was flared out on the right. She wore face paint that glittered around her eyes on the left side, and a clown mask that had the left side cut off. Her short hair was kept in little braids. She smiled at Kenshin and her feet were also bare. She had on purple fairy wings

"Tama…Ayako…WAIT A MINUTE! You're the two responsible for doing that magic stuff to sessha!" yelled Kenshin, stomping his foot.

Ayako thought for a minute. "Us?"

Tama nodded. "Yeah, remember. This is Himura Kenshin. Remember?"

Ayako blinked then nodded. "Oh! Kenshin! Now I remember!" she smiled. "How ya doin Mr. Himura?"

"Tama-dono and Ayako-dono. Please, sessha would kindly ask if you would turn him back into a male now, and he will be most grateful…" Kenshin bowed as Tama looked at Ayako.

"No way, not yet Kenshin!" said Tama shaking her head.

Ayako nodded. "Yah, not yet Kenshin!"

Kenshin blinked. "Oro?"

Ayako smiled and scratched her cheek a bit. "You have yet to understand what it's like to be a female! Tama and me are doing this for a reason. To teach males everywhere what it's like to be a woman! You understand?"

Kenshin blinked once again. "ORO!?"

Tama smiled. "Well Mr. Himura. We came to your dream to tell you about what we have in store for you. You will be a woman for approximately 3 months. Just to get a glimpse of a woman's life!"

Kenshin blinked 3 more times before managing to say something else besides, "Oro??" He gave a pained look at Tama and said, "But why does sessha have too do this? Why not Sanosuke or Yahiko for that matter. Why sessha?"

Tama looked at Ayako. "Yeah Ayako, why did we choose Kenshin, again?"

Ayako sighed. "Because you said that it would be cool to see the Hitokiri Battousai angry as woman, remember?"

"This is what turning me into a girl is about? Seeing me angry?" Kenshin blinked.

"No!" said Tama as she stopped her feet. Ayako flapped her wings as she glared at her friend.

"It was too! You said, "Wouldn't it be fun to see the Battousai angry!" and then I agreed and we went to the dojo and cursed him as a girl!" yelled Ayako.

"NO! It was an experiment, remember!?" shouted Tama, flapping her wings, flying angrily up to her friend.

"Um…excuse me, if sessha might ask. Why me?" asked Kenshin. (ORO!!)

"Huh? Well Mr. Himura, me and Tama have done our research and your are the perfect little guinea pig!" said Ayako, pointing a fairy wand at him.

Tama rolled her eyes. "Must you always point that wand at every single person that we curse?" she asked.

"Sure do! Its my signature…thingy!" said Ayako as she giggled.

Tama shook her head, rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well Mr. Himura, we have to be going now, we'll contact you when we need too again in your dreams…okay?!" said Tama. She waved at him and blew an air kiss to him, as the two girls flew off into Kenshin's little happy meadow bunny dream.

When Kenshin awoke the next day, he awoke with a sore chest…aha. Now wonder. Kaoru had forced him to sleep on his stomach, saying it was bad for his posture if he slept the way he usually did. She has told him that he was a lady now and had to act like one. So he was forced to sleep on his stomach and now his chest hurt…badly.

On top of that she had just got through explaining to Kenshin how to out on a pad and to change pads when one got…lets not go into details shall we?

Well other than that, Kenshin was doing pretty okay. He was beginning to get the hang of washing laundry with those two things in the way, even though Sano wouldn't stop laughing, as he had to readjust his kimono, which definitely wasn't fitting like he wanted it to be. The day Ayame, Suzume and Genkai came back over, Ayame and Suzume were looking for "Uncle Kenny", but instead, Auntie Kenny was there. So the girls pretty much thought Kenshin had dressed up like a girl just to make them laugh and didn't pay to much attention to Kenshin's different features.

Overall, Kenshin was coping pretty well with being a girl, and wasn't really crying like a stupid sissy or saying anything about woes and such. He had experienced far greater pain than the evil period monster. And then of course he had to go strain himself and Kaoru had told him, "Kenshin! You are on bed arrest for the remained of the day when you learn that I am not kidding about your health. Is that understood?" Kenshin sighed and said, "Yes Kaoru-dono. Sessha is sorry."

Without any threats to kill Kenshin, things got more boring and then…

There was a knock on the dojo door. Everyone was out except Kenshin who was resting peacefully in his nice warm futon, dreaming of bunnies, and clouds, and naked faeries. The knocking interrupted him from his peaceful sleep as he woke, rubbing his eyes.

"Who could that be?" he asked.

Slipping out of bed, he put on his old gi and hakama and started to walk down the halls of the dojo.

"Sano?" he called out.

"Kaoru-dono!!" He looked in the kitchen.

"Yahiko? Ayame? Suzume? Megumi?" He opened the door to the dining room.

"Where did everyone go?"

More knocking erupted from the dojo door as he walked out into the crisp cool spring evening and opened it. It was the police officer with now eyes. Otherwise known as. NO EYES POLICE MAN! NEPM!

"Why hello NEPM." Said Kenshin, smiling.

"Mr. Himura, we need your help in the square! Please come now!" NEPM dragged Kenshin from out of the warm and fluffiness of the dojo and out into the coldness and the non-fluffiness of the streets of Tokyo.

Kenshin felt another cramp coming on as the policeman dragged him through the streets. "Ow…" he said, hand flying to his back to try and massage it.

The policeman dragged Kenshin along the streets of Tokyo to the square. People were running left and right from a fat old guy, who was holding a magical rod, which was turning people into cheese. The policeman woke Kenshin up for something as dumb as this? Oh no…Kenshin was angry all right. And you never want to get PMSing Kenshin angry. Kenshin was very angry having been torn from his lovely fluffy warm futon for something as dumb as this. And as he stared on at the stupid fat old guy, a golden glint was making its way into his eye…