To Reconcile - June-September 2003
Chapter Twenty
Buffy took Dawn to the doctor the next day, just to make sure. Of course everything was, well, still intact. She had Dawn tested for STD's and was damn near threatening to make Dawn go to a professional for counseling sessions.
"Are you off your rocker?" Dawn asked Buffy on the way home.
"I just want to make sure my little sister is safe. I want to make sure that you're happy and healthy." Buffy said with mock perkiness.
"I'm fine Buffy. If you wanted me to be happy, you would let this drop. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. Spike will probably never talk to me again."
"About Spike. I don't think you should hang out with him anymore. I mean, after what happened last time. I just don't think it's a good idea. Maybe you two should spend some time apart. Not forever of course. I know that you two are friends, but the whole thing has made everything very uncomfortable."
"For you maybe. I know I messed up. But I'm sure Spike is totally over it. He probably would have thought it was funny if you hadn't shown up. Buffy, you need to talk to him and apologize to him. That's the only way things are going to go back to normal."
"I have nothing to apologize to him for. This is all his fault. If he hadn't provoked you, then none of this would have happened. I think I had every right to come to the conclusion I did."
"Buffy! You accused him of raping me. That's not a conclusion that any sane person would come to."
"Yeah, because we all know that Spike would never try to-" Buffy started.
"Don't you dare finish that sentence. If you got trust issues with Spike, fine. But make them about you and him, don't drag me into this freak show." Dawn huffed before she started to jog toward home, feeling she had had about as much quality time with Buffy as she could stand.
"Yeah, freak show." Buffy stated calmly under her breath before she continued on her way home.
***************************
A couple months passed, finding Dawn sitting on Spike's kitchen counter while Spike was making them pasta. She had finally worked up the courage to see him. And she had finally convinced her sister that she and Spike weren't going to make any amateur movies at his place. Spike and Buffy had not spoken since the ice cream debacle. Spike had only seen Julia twice in those two months. And that was only because either Xander or Anya had brought her over without Buffy knowing. Not seeing her best friend was killing her. Unlike her older sister, she was willing to swallow her pride and apologize to Spike. She knew she had been wrong and she desperately wanted to make amends. She wanted things to be right again.
"Spike, I'm so sorry. I keep trying to think of better words, but I can't. I really am truly sorry. I don't want things to be weird between us. We're like best friends. What would we do without each other?" Dawn started, her eyes filling up with tears.
"S'OK bit. Sorry is more than I ever got out of your sister. It's water under the bridge, besides, I can't tease you if we aren't speaking." Spike replied.
Spike walked over to Dawn and ruffled her hair with his hands. He then went back to his cooking duties.
"You're not going to be all smug and belittle me every chance you get, are you?"
"S'not my fault you find me unbelievably sexy and adorable." Spike said with exaggeration, while he over dramatically swept his hand over his T- shirt clad chest.
"You know, Buffy's right. You are a pig." Dawn said, while she rolled her eyes and laughed.
"I missed your laugh pet. I was pissed as hell when you were molesting me, but I understand what it's like. You know that there's never going to be an us, don't you? I don't want to be breaking your little heart. And you know you can do better than a crusty old demon like me, right?"
"I know Spike, not about the 'crusty old demon' part, cause you know that's not true. I think I got confused. I mean, yeah, I admit to planning our wedding and all that. But I knew in the back of my mind that you would never love me as much as you love Buffy. I know you only love me as like a friend. It's OK, I'm used to it. It's not like I'm ever going to have a boyfriend or anything, I'm too weird. It's like 'hey, it's Dawn - the freaky key thing' - no one gets me except you. At least you know what it's like to be a freak too."
Spike went over and took Dawn off the counter. He wrapped his arms around Dawn, tight, and rested his head on the top of hers.
"Dawn, you are probably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I love you. I love you as much as I love your sister. It's just different. In many ways what we share is so much more special than what me and the Slayer have. Any bloke would be lucky to have you. Not that you're allowed to date. Well, not until you're thirty five and I get to interview the wanker first. Because you know, in my eyes no one will ever be good enough for you."
Dawn looked up into Spike's eyes and smiled. She knew they would be OK. She knew he loved her, not as much as she loved him, but she would deal. She just wished that she could make him happy.
"So is Buffy still being all huffy? Xander said she's been in hormone overdrive or something lately." Spike asked while the two were having dinner.
"Yeah. It's like she knows she screwed up with you. She knows she was wrong. But there is no way in hell that she's going to admit it. I think she's upset that you haven't dropped by and begged her for mercy. That and Jules has been sick, I mean it's just a cold, but the kid cries all night, and Buffy hasn't had much sleep. She keeps muttering something about how she wished she would have been on the pill and about deadbeat Dads. Get it, deadbeat, dead!" Dawn let a little frown that Spike wasn't laughing at her joke.
"She's the one that won't let me see my kid. It's starting all over. Somehow it's my fault that she won't let me see my own child. Well, I skipped my last visitation to appease her. But tomorrow, come hell or high water, I am going to spend some time with my kid." Spike fumed.
"And while you're over there, maybe you and Buffy could have a chat. Maybe smooth things over." Dawn said hopefully.
"I would give up my life for her. You know that bit. She's the one that has to make the first move here. I would like to hear her apologize, just once. I don't even care if she means it. I just can't keep going on like this."
"I know Spike. I know. I wish you guys could at least get along. I remember when Mom and Dad started fighting. I don't want Julia to grow up in a house like that. I want her to know that you both love her and aren't using her as some sort of trophy prize."
"I know Dawn. I know. I just don't know what I can do to make her happy." Spike said.
Chapter Twenty
Buffy took Dawn to the doctor the next day, just to make sure. Of course everything was, well, still intact. She had Dawn tested for STD's and was damn near threatening to make Dawn go to a professional for counseling sessions.
"Are you off your rocker?" Dawn asked Buffy on the way home.
"I just want to make sure my little sister is safe. I want to make sure that you're happy and healthy." Buffy said with mock perkiness.
"I'm fine Buffy. If you wanted me to be happy, you would let this drop. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. Spike will probably never talk to me again."
"About Spike. I don't think you should hang out with him anymore. I mean, after what happened last time. I just don't think it's a good idea. Maybe you two should spend some time apart. Not forever of course. I know that you two are friends, but the whole thing has made everything very uncomfortable."
"For you maybe. I know I messed up. But I'm sure Spike is totally over it. He probably would have thought it was funny if you hadn't shown up. Buffy, you need to talk to him and apologize to him. That's the only way things are going to go back to normal."
"I have nothing to apologize to him for. This is all his fault. If he hadn't provoked you, then none of this would have happened. I think I had every right to come to the conclusion I did."
"Buffy! You accused him of raping me. That's not a conclusion that any sane person would come to."
"Yeah, because we all know that Spike would never try to-" Buffy started.
"Don't you dare finish that sentence. If you got trust issues with Spike, fine. But make them about you and him, don't drag me into this freak show." Dawn huffed before she started to jog toward home, feeling she had had about as much quality time with Buffy as she could stand.
"Yeah, freak show." Buffy stated calmly under her breath before she continued on her way home.
***************************
A couple months passed, finding Dawn sitting on Spike's kitchen counter while Spike was making them pasta. She had finally worked up the courage to see him. And she had finally convinced her sister that she and Spike weren't going to make any amateur movies at his place. Spike and Buffy had not spoken since the ice cream debacle. Spike had only seen Julia twice in those two months. And that was only because either Xander or Anya had brought her over without Buffy knowing. Not seeing her best friend was killing her. Unlike her older sister, she was willing to swallow her pride and apologize to Spike. She knew she had been wrong and she desperately wanted to make amends. She wanted things to be right again.
"Spike, I'm so sorry. I keep trying to think of better words, but I can't. I really am truly sorry. I don't want things to be weird between us. We're like best friends. What would we do without each other?" Dawn started, her eyes filling up with tears.
"S'OK bit. Sorry is more than I ever got out of your sister. It's water under the bridge, besides, I can't tease you if we aren't speaking." Spike replied.
Spike walked over to Dawn and ruffled her hair with his hands. He then went back to his cooking duties.
"You're not going to be all smug and belittle me every chance you get, are you?"
"S'not my fault you find me unbelievably sexy and adorable." Spike said with exaggeration, while he over dramatically swept his hand over his T- shirt clad chest.
"You know, Buffy's right. You are a pig." Dawn said, while she rolled her eyes and laughed.
"I missed your laugh pet. I was pissed as hell when you were molesting me, but I understand what it's like. You know that there's never going to be an us, don't you? I don't want to be breaking your little heart. And you know you can do better than a crusty old demon like me, right?"
"I know Spike, not about the 'crusty old demon' part, cause you know that's not true. I think I got confused. I mean, yeah, I admit to planning our wedding and all that. But I knew in the back of my mind that you would never love me as much as you love Buffy. I know you only love me as like a friend. It's OK, I'm used to it. It's not like I'm ever going to have a boyfriend or anything, I'm too weird. It's like 'hey, it's Dawn - the freaky key thing' - no one gets me except you. At least you know what it's like to be a freak too."
Spike went over and took Dawn off the counter. He wrapped his arms around Dawn, tight, and rested his head on the top of hers.
"Dawn, you are probably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I love you. I love you as much as I love your sister. It's just different. In many ways what we share is so much more special than what me and the Slayer have. Any bloke would be lucky to have you. Not that you're allowed to date. Well, not until you're thirty five and I get to interview the wanker first. Because you know, in my eyes no one will ever be good enough for you."
Dawn looked up into Spike's eyes and smiled. She knew they would be OK. She knew he loved her, not as much as she loved him, but she would deal. She just wished that she could make him happy.
"So is Buffy still being all huffy? Xander said she's been in hormone overdrive or something lately." Spike asked while the two were having dinner.
"Yeah. It's like she knows she screwed up with you. She knows she was wrong. But there is no way in hell that she's going to admit it. I think she's upset that you haven't dropped by and begged her for mercy. That and Jules has been sick, I mean it's just a cold, but the kid cries all night, and Buffy hasn't had much sleep. She keeps muttering something about how she wished she would have been on the pill and about deadbeat Dads. Get it, deadbeat, dead!" Dawn let a little frown that Spike wasn't laughing at her joke.
"She's the one that won't let me see my kid. It's starting all over. Somehow it's my fault that she won't let me see my own child. Well, I skipped my last visitation to appease her. But tomorrow, come hell or high water, I am going to spend some time with my kid." Spike fumed.
"And while you're over there, maybe you and Buffy could have a chat. Maybe smooth things over." Dawn said hopefully.
"I would give up my life for her. You know that bit. She's the one that has to make the first move here. I would like to hear her apologize, just once. I don't even care if she means it. I just can't keep going on like this."
"I know Spike. I know. I wish you guys could at least get along. I remember when Mom and Dad started fighting. I don't want Julia to grow up in a house like that. I want her to know that you both love her and aren't using her as some sort of trophy prize."
"I know Dawn. I know. I just don't know what I can do to make her happy." Spike said.