Resentments - September-October 2003
Chapter Twenty-Two
Spike showed up on Buffy's doorstep around five o'clock the next evening. She answered the door wearing a shirt that looked like a small infant drooled all over it. It took Spike a second to realize that it probably had been a small infant that drooled all over it.
"What are *you* doing here?" Buffy asked coldly.
"I'm hear to pick up my daughter. It's been almost two months since I've seen my daughter. I really don't want to pull the lawyer card if I don't have to, Buffy. Come on, just let me in so I can get Jules."
"Fine." Buffy huffed, letting him into the house.
Dawn came bouncing down the stairs with Julia in tow. As soon as she saw Buffy and Spike in a face off she headed directly to the kitchen, hoping and praying that the damage wasn't going to cost too much. Spike and Buffy glared at one another. It was almost like old times, only less fun. At least when they were trying to kill one another, there was a slight thrill out of it. This scene just reeked of pain and betrayal.
"When are you bringing her back?" Buffy asked.
"Was thinking about taking her for the week actually." Spike returned in an equally venomous tone.
"No way. The agreement was every other weekend."
"I haven't seen the kid in over two months. You have got to be joking."
"Who's fault is that?" Buffy spat.
"You are completely off your nut Slayer. I've been trying to call for over six weeks. You won't return my calls. Dawn and Xander kept warning me not to come anywhere near you. It's your fault I haven't seen my daughter."
"Whatever. I still want her back by Monday. And if you wanted to see her that badly, you would have found a way."
Spike just stared at his hate filled Slayer. This went far deeper than him wanting to keep the girl a few extra days. He actually thought Buffy hated him. Her stares chilled him to the bone. He wasn't playing this game anymore, there was no way she was getting another apology out of him.
"Fuck you." Was all Spike could think of.
With that Buffy threw a right hook his way that knocked him into the coffee table. He looked up at her, completely dazed. Blood was running down his face. He tried to stand up, but was so dazed that he immediately fell back. Dawn came running out of the kitchen.
"What the hell is going on?" She yelled.
"Just Spike being his well mannered self, per usual." Buffy responded nonchalantly.
"Buffy. I can't believe you hit him. I mean that's like you hitting me, or you hitting Xander. I can't believe you would do this. I know Spike's pretty strong, but you have the Slayer thing going on, he can't compete with that. I just can't believe that you would resort to physical violence like this. What are you going to do when Julia gets to be too much?" Dawn spat at Buffy.
Buffy just stared at the scene, letting Dawn's words sink in. She knew she was right. As big of an ass as Spike was, she had no excuse to hit him. She went toward the living room to help him up. He stood up and pushed her away from him.
"Buffy, luv. I came here to talk to you. I've been doing some serious thinking. I wanted us to be civilized, so I could make a proper judgment on the matter. You've left me no choice though. Buffy, I love you. More than life itself. But it's clear that you resent me. Clear that you hate me. I love my daughter, and I want to be near her. But she doesn't need to be raised in an environment that is filled with such hate and violence. And if I stay here, that's all it's going to be. I'll miss her, but I'm sure I'll still get to see her, probably more often than if I stay. I'm moving to LA. As you well know it's only a couple hours away. I'm sure Dawn and I'll keep in touch, we'll work out all the custody arrangement. There's absolutely no reason for you to ever talk to me again."
And with that Spike gave her a look of total defeat and went home, to begin packing. Dawn just stared at Buffy. At that moment, Dawn hated her sister more than anything.
"I hate you. You're making him leave again." Dawn screamed, before she ran upstairs.
Buffy let a few tears slip from her face. It was too late. It was simply too late to make things the way that they were. Spike hated her. She had finally succeeded in getting rid of him, but she couldn't figure out why she was so miserable about it. Buffy went to the kitchen and picked up her daughter. The girl had curly blonde hair, much like Spikes, and the eyes. There was only one other person on Earth that had eyes like those. Buffy held Julia close before taking her up the stairs. Buffy needed to lay down. She felt like she was drowning. In that moment, she felt like she was dead, all over again.
*************************************
There was a huge going away party for Spike. Everyone was there, except for Buffy. Dawn kept crying. She was afraid that she would never see him again.
"Dawn. Stop. You're going to making start bawling, and that wouldn't be very manly, would it nibblit?" Spike lovingly said toward the girl.
"You're not going to be gone forever, are you? We'll still see each other, won't we?"
"Of course. Have to stay up on all the gossip about Sunnyhell High, now don't I?"
Dawn just hugged Spike, not wanting to let him go.
"S'alright bit. You're going to go to school in LA next year. We'll see each other all the time."
Dawn let go of Spike and smiled at him. She was going to be brave, for him. Anya and Xander came by to bid him farewell.
"I never thought I would ever udder the words 'I'll miss you dead boy junior,' but here I am saying those exact words. You have to stay in touch." Xander said, slightly awkwardly.
Spike grinned and nodded. He and Xander exchanged a short, manly hug before Spike faced Anya.
"Hi there gorgeous. You going to miss me too?"
"Of course. Who's going to go shopping with me now and help me try on shoes? I told myself I wouldn't cry, but I'm going to miss you so much."
Anya threw herself in Spike's arms and hugged him fiercely. He laughed softly before pulling away.
"Come on. I'm going to be a couple hours north of here. It's not like I'm going to be on the North Pole. You'll all come up and we'll go make fun of peaches and his nancy boy hair gel."
Xander smiled at the thought of picking on Angel. It was getting late. The Bronze started to clear out until Spike and Dawn were the only two left. She helped him load the car up. When they were done, they just stared at one another. It was hard on both of them, for so many reasons. But they both seemed to know that it was necessary.
"Sure you have to do this?" Dawn asked.
"Yeah I am. And don't you ever think it has anything to do with you. It's going to bloody kill me to be so far away from you. I'm making Buffy miserable. She needs to be by herself. I've caused her enough pain. She can feel me everywhere she goes. She needs to make some memories that don't include me. She needs to heal. And the best way for her to do that, is for me to be in a different county. I'm sure she'd prefer a different time zone, but I figure LA is far enough away."
Dawn just stared at Spike and nodded. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, and he just held her for a few moments, in silence.
"Can I give you something, and you promise not to take it the wrong way?" Spike asked.
Dawn dumbly nodded. Spike leaned over and brushed his lips across Dawn's. It was a simple and sweet kiss. It was chaste, just like her. Spike pulled back to find a star struck Dawn staring at him.
"What was that for?" Dawn asked lazily.
"Just thought it was about time you got kissed good and proper. I figure better me than some heathen trying to grope you. That's what a kiss is about Dawn. Feeling. Always remember that."
With that Spike climbed into his SUV and pulled the door shut. He started the engine, and began to drive away. He looked out the rear view mirror to find Dawn still staring at him. A small tear escaped him, while he stared at the road in front of him. He just hoped that he had been doing the right thing.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Spike showed up on Buffy's doorstep around five o'clock the next evening. She answered the door wearing a shirt that looked like a small infant drooled all over it. It took Spike a second to realize that it probably had been a small infant that drooled all over it.
"What are *you* doing here?" Buffy asked coldly.
"I'm hear to pick up my daughter. It's been almost two months since I've seen my daughter. I really don't want to pull the lawyer card if I don't have to, Buffy. Come on, just let me in so I can get Jules."
"Fine." Buffy huffed, letting him into the house.
Dawn came bouncing down the stairs with Julia in tow. As soon as she saw Buffy and Spike in a face off she headed directly to the kitchen, hoping and praying that the damage wasn't going to cost too much. Spike and Buffy glared at one another. It was almost like old times, only less fun. At least when they were trying to kill one another, there was a slight thrill out of it. This scene just reeked of pain and betrayal.
"When are you bringing her back?" Buffy asked.
"Was thinking about taking her for the week actually." Spike returned in an equally venomous tone.
"No way. The agreement was every other weekend."
"I haven't seen the kid in over two months. You have got to be joking."
"Who's fault is that?" Buffy spat.
"You are completely off your nut Slayer. I've been trying to call for over six weeks. You won't return my calls. Dawn and Xander kept warning me not to come anywhere near you. It's your fault I haven't seen my daughter."
"Whatever. I still want her back by Monday. And if you wanted to see her that badly, you would have found a way."
Spike just stared at his hate filled Slayer. This went far deeper than him wanting to keep the girl a few extra days. He actually thought Buffy hated him. Her stares chilled him to the bone. He wasn't playing this game anymore, there was no way she was getting another apology out of him.
"Fuck you." Was all Spike could think of.
With that Buffy threw a right hook his way that knocked him into the coffee table. He looked up at her, completely dazed. Blood was running down his face. He tried to stand up, but was so dazed that he immediately fell back. Dawn came running out of the kitchen.
"What the hell is going on?" She yelled.
"Just Spike being his well mannered self, per usual." Buffy responded nonchalantly.
"Buffy. I can't believe you hit him. I mean that's like you hitting me, or you hitting Xander. I can't believe you would do this. I know Spike's pretty strong, but you have the Slayer thing going on, he can't compete with that. I just can't believe that you would resort to physical violence like this. What are you going to do when Julia gets to be too much?" Dawn spat at Buffy.
Buffy just stared at the scene, letting Dawn's words sink in. She knew she was right. As big of an ass as Spike was, she had no excuse to hit him. She went toward the living room to help him up. He stood up and pushed her away from him.
"Buffy, luv. I came here to talk to you. I've been doing some serious thinking. I wanted us to be civilized, so I could make a proper judgment on the matter. You've left me no choice though. Buffy, I love you. More than life itself. But it's clear that you resent me. Clear that you hate me. I love my daughter, and I want to be near her. But she doesn't need to be raised in an environment that is filled with such hate and violence. And if I stay here, that's all it's going to be. I'll miss her, but I'm sure I'll still get to see her, probably more often than if I stay. I'm moving to LA. As you well know it's only a couple hours away. I'm sure Dawn and I'll keep in touch, we'll work out all the custody arrangement. There's absolutely no reason for you to ever talk to me again."
And with that Spike gave her a look of total defeat and went home, to begin packing. Dawn just stared at Buffy. At that moment, Dawn hated her sister more than anything.
"I hate you. You're making him leave again." Dawn screamed, before she ran upstairs.
Buffy let a few tears slip from her face. It was too late. It was simply too late to make things the way that they were. Spike hated her. She had finally succeeded in getting rid of him, but she couldn't figure out why she was so miserable about it. Buffy went to the kitchen and picked up her daughter. The girl had curly blonde hair, much like Spikes, and the eyes. There was only one other person on Earth that had eyes like those. Buffy held Julia close before taking her up the stairs. Buffy needed to lay down. She felt like she was drowning. In that moment, she felt like she was dead, all over again.
*************************************
There was a huge going away party for Spike. Everyone was there, except for Buffy. Dawn kept crying. She was afraid that she would never see him again.
"Dawn. Stop. You're going to making start bawling, and that wouldn't be very manly, would it nibblit?" Spike lovingly said toward the girl.
"You're not going to be gone forever, are you? We'll still see each other, won't we?"
"Of course. Have to stay up on all the gossip about Sunnyhell High, now don't I?"
Dawn just hugged Spike, not wanting to let him go.
"S'alright bit. You're going to go to school in LA next year. We'll see each other all the time."
Dawn let go of Spike and smiled at him. She was going to be brave, for him. Anya and Xander came by to bid him farewell.
"I never thought I would ever udder the words 'I'll miss you dead boy junior,' but here I am saying those exact words. You have to stay in touch." Xander said, slightly awkwardly.
Spike grinned and nodded. He and Xander exchanged a short, manly hug before Spike faced Anya.
"Hi there gorgeous. You going to miss me too?"
"Of course. Who's going to go shopping with me now and help me try on shoes? I told myself I wouldn't cry, but I'm going to miss you so much."
Anya threw herself in Spike's arms and hugged him fiercely. He laughed softly before pulling away.
"Come on. I'm going to be a couple hours north of here. It's not like I'm going to be on the North Pole. You'll all come up and we'll go make fun of peaches and his nancy boy hair gel."
Xander smiled at the thought of picking on Angel. It was getting late. The Bronze started to clear out until Spike and Dawn were the only two left. She helped him load the car up. When they were done, they just stared at one another. It was hard on both of them, for so many reasons. But they both seemed to know that it was necessary.
"Sure you have to do this?" Dawn asked.
"Yeah I am. And don't you ever think it has anything to do with you. It's going to bloody kill me to be so far away from you. I'm making Buffy miserable. She needs to be by herself. I've caused her enough pain. She can feel me everywhere she goes. She needs to make some memories that don't include me. She needs to heal. And the best way for her to do that, is for me to be in a different county. I'm sure she'd prefer a different time zone, but I figure LA is far enough away."
Dawn just stared at Spike and nodded. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, and he just held her for a few moments, in silence.
"Can I give you something, and you promise not to take it the wrong way?" Spike asked.
Dawn dumbly nodded. Spike leaned over and brushed his lips across Dawn's. It was a simple and sweet kiss. It was chaste, just like her. Spike pulled back to find a star struck Dawn staring at him.
"What was that for?" Dawn asked lazily.
"Just thought it was about time you got kissed good and proper. I figure better me than some heathen trying to grope you. That's what a kiss is about Dawn. Feeling. Always remember that."
With that Spike climbed into his SUV and pulled the door shut. He started the engine, and began to drive away. He looked out the rear view mirror to find Dawn still staring at him. A small tear escaped him, while he stared at the road in front of him. He just hoped that he had been doing the right thing.