Giles - April 2004
Chapter Twenty-Four
The weeks faded into months for Buffy and Spike. Both were miserable, but they had learned to make the most of their lives. What was left of them anyway.
Giles was visiting the states for a couple months, for various reasons. Through a slip up in communication, Giles didn't even know about Julia until she was almost three months old, and that was only because Dawn was calling Buffy a horrible mother in the background. Honestly, there was no slip up in communication, Buffy just chickened out about a thousand times in telling Giles. Seeing Giles hold the little girl on his lap, completely lost in Jule's movements, told Buffy that she was being silly. She couldn't understand why she hid things from Giles, he was always surprisingly understanding. He did clean his glasses a few times when Buffy told him that Spike was the father.
"That's interesting, so is she part of some prophecy." Giles asked, still cleaning his glasses.
Buffy hadn't even told him about Spike. After this Giles will be taking the first flight to LA to poke and prod at Spike she thought to herself.
"Uh, well Spike kinda took this trip. And there was sorta some sorta trial. And he like passed it, and because he won he got the grand daddy of all grand prizes. He was made human."
Giles then dropped his glasses and stared at Buffy. He had never heard of this happening. He didn't even think it was possible. He had no clue what to say. Buffy continued for him.
"He was completely, well is, completely human Giles. No vamps perks or weaknesses. Soul, as far as I can tell. He cried a lot in his sleep, guilt I'm assuming. Actually, please don't kill me, but he kind of turned into Giles Jr. I mean he was really into books, and he started dressing all preppy, but he was really sensitive and polite. It was so annoying."
"So what happened Buffy? If he got his soul, why isn't he here with you?"
"Long story Giles. I mean things were OK when he first came back, but then I got pregnant. Because I'm stupid and wasn't thinking about the whole sperm not dead anymore thing. Sorry, didn't mean to gross you out. Not that I would give up Julia for anything. She's the only reason I get up out of bed half the time anymore. After he found out he was going to be a father, he was super clingy. We decided, well actually I decided that we needed some space. I don't know how things got so out of hand. It just never seemed to be the right time to make amends. One thing led to another and before I knew it I had driven him out of Sunnydale and into LA."
"Well, that sounds interesting. Does he bother to see Julia or did he pack up and start a new life?"
"Giles, I have no clue what he's doing up there. You'd have to ask Dawn, those two are like two peas in a twisted, freakish pod. He actually wishes that he saw her more often. He takes her every other weekend and sends me about a thousand dollars a month for child support. He's a great Dad. If nothing else believe that. It's not all his fault that he left. I pushed him. Don't go up there and stake him or anything. Well, actually I guess if you did that you'd be looking at time in prison."
"Well, Buffy, if you don't blame him, why don't you apologize? Why don't you try to make amends?"
"It's not that simple Giles. It goes way beyond "Hey, I'm sorry I beat the crap out of you and called you mean names' type thing. This is for the best. We both need our space. Maybe in a year or two we can begin to bridge the gap, but for now it's almost a relief not to have to look into his hurt blue eyes anymore. It's really for the best."
Giles looked at his charge. Another pang of guilt waved over him for returning once more to England. He wasn't sure why. There was nothing he could have done to prevent it. Spike had proven on more than one occasion that he was smitten with Buffy beyond belief. And the sadness that filled Buffy only further proved his assumption that she too was in love with Spike. Giles had never cared for Spike as a person, well demon. Actually Spike was like the son that Giles never wanted and was always disappointed of. He could insult the imbecile all he wanted, but he was always quick to jump to vampire's defense. He sighed and reached over to hold Buffy's hand.
"Buffy, you have been through worse. You'll pull through this."
"I know. But that's part of the problem. I'm sick of just pulling through things. I want to be happy, but it's like this stubborn little thorn in my side won't let me be. Spike and I could have probably been content. But, it's like he wasn't event he same person. The snide remarks, the cocky attitude, the brutal honesty - it was all gone Giles. He was like William, well I'm assuming from what Spike told me of him. Isn't a relationship supposed to have passion Giles? I'm only twenty three years old, I wasn't ready to be an old married woman. Does that make any sense?"
"I know it's been hard for you Buffy. I do understand. But did you ever stop to consider what it was like for Spike? What he went through, for you? He went through all of that to have it thrown back in his face, by the one person that he did it for. You know that Spike isn't my ideal choice for a son-in-law, but you seem to be a little self-centered about the matter." Giles stated as gently as he could.
Buffy stared at Giles. Part of her was pissed because he was on Spike's side too, and he hadn't even met human Spike yet. Part of her knew he was right, just like everyone else. She simply decided to take the middle road on the matter.
"Giles. I never asked him to do what he did. I never even hinted at it. He always felt that I was comparing him to Angel. To be honest, I never even sorted out how I felt about him. I never got to know him well enough to." Buffy added sheepishly.
"Maybe you two should take some time and let some wounds heal. If nothing else, it's obvious that this little girl is loved a great deal."
"Yeah, Spike totally spoils her. It's a bitch getting her to do anything when she gets back from Daddy's house." Buffy said lightly.
Giles grinned at the small girl on his lap that was contentedly chewing on her hands. *This is definitely Spike's child* Giles thought to himself as he bounced the ten month old up and down on his lap.
"How is everything else going on? I know I left in a hurry that last summer, but it was imperative to get Willow help as soon as possible."
"I know Giles. Aside from a human Spike and Julia it's been pretty tame. After two years Xander and Anya can stand to be in the same room with one another. Dawn's going off to UCLA next year. She's not sure if she's going into the creative writing or the art program yet. I'm sure she'll be happier to be closer to Spike. Ever since he left, it's been a very strained relationship between us. She blames me for Spike leaving. She has every right in the world to. I, per usual, acted and then thought about it after the fact."
"What happened, Buffy. I mean what was the final straw."
"I hit him Giles. I mean really hit him. I almost dislocated his jaw. It's like this blind hatred washed over me. I've had a really hard time dealing with that. In all my years of slaying, that was the first time I ever abused my power to that extent. After he left I started doing the meditating that you first introduced me to. It's helped a lot."
"Buffy, I'm glad that you realized that what you did was wrong. It's beyond wrong, but it's in the past. I think that perhaps you should try to apologize for that simple act and go from there."
"God, Giles. I can't face him. It's been over six months since I've even seen him."
"If nothing else, try to write him a letter. At least let him know that you still think about him. I know he loves you, but not even he isn't going to wait around for you forever."
Buffy looked at Giles and instantly agreed with him. So much could have been avoided if he had been here this whole time. As stubborn and as pig headed as she was, Giles had been then one person that could usually get through to her. They talked about Willow's progress for awhile. Giles told her that even though it had been two years, the girl was still pretty shaken up and wasn't ready for the outside world yet. The Wiccan Council made it sound as if Willow would be ready for visitors within the next six months or so. That made Buffy smile slightly. For all the trouble that Willow had caused, she was still her best friend. And Buffy missed that friend deeply. The conversation finally turned toward Spike once more.
"So, you're going to go up to LA to poke and prod at Spike, aren't you?" Buffy asked coyly.
"Well, I have to admit, it is tempting. Who would believe me unless I had some documentation. This really is fascinating. Spike has always been a unique specimen, but he has surpassed Angel now in the vampire freak show category."
Buffy chuckled slightly at Giles enthusiasm toward Spike's case. She wished that she could have found that same sort of enthusiasm.
"Go ahead Giles. Try to be back in time for Julia's birthday party though. Oh, and try to keep a low profile. Angel and the gang have done a really good job of making the demon population either believe that Spike is dead or that he's off with Dru somewhere."
"I can understand why they would do that." Giles simply replied.
"It's beyond weird. Dawn was telling me that Angel and Spike were the best of buds these day. Strange."
"Maybe not everyone thought that the humanization of Spike was a big of a downfall as you did." Giles answered matter of factly.
Giles left Buffy to chew on those words while he made hotel arrangements in LA. He could have stayed with Angel. But in all truthfulness the Watcher liked Angel even less than he liked Spike.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The weeks faded into months for Buffy and Spike. Both were miserable, but they had learned to make the most of their lives. What was left of them anyway.
Giles was visiting the states for a couple months, for various reasons. Through a slip up in communication, Giles didn't even know about Julia until she was almost three months old, and that was only because Dawn was calling Buffy a horrible mother in the background. Honestly, there was no slip up in communication, Buffy just chickened out about a thousand times in telling Giles. Seeing Giles hold the little girl on his lap, completely lost in Jule's movements, told Buffy that she was being silly. She couldn't understand why she hid things from Giles, he was always surprisingly understanding. He did clean his glasses a few times when Buffy told him that Spike was the father.
"That's interesting, so is she part of some prophecy." Giles asked, still cleaning his glasses.
Buffy hadn't even told him about Spike. After this Giles will be taking the first flight to LA to poke and prod at Spike she thought to herself.
"Uh, well Spike kinda took this trip. And there was sorta some sorta trial. And he like passed it, and because he won he got the grand daddy of all grand prizes. He was made human."
Giles then dropped his glasses and stared at Buffy. He had never heard of this happening. He didn't even think it was possible. He had no clue what to say. Buffy continued for him.
"He was completely, well is, completely human Giles. No vamps perks or weaknesses. Soul, as far as I can tell. He cried a lot in his sleep, guilt I'm assuming. Actually, please don't kill me, but he kind of turned into Giles Jr. I mean he was really into books, and he started dressing all preppy, but he was really sensitive and polite. It was so annoying."
"So what happened Buffy? If he got his soul, why isn't he here with you?"
"Long story Giles. I mean things were OK when he first came back, but then I got pregnant. Because I'm stupid and wasn't thinking about the whole sperm not dead anymore thing. Sorry, didn't mean to gross you out. Not that I would give up Julia for anything. She's the only reason I get up out of bed half the time anymore. After he found out he was going to be a father, he was super clingy. We decided, well actually I decided that we needed some space. I don't know how things got so out of hand. It just never seemed to be the right time to make amends. One thing led to another and before I knew it I had driven him out of Sunnydale and into LA."
"Well, that sounds interesting. Does he bother to see Julia or did he pack up and start a new life?"
"Giles, I have no clue what he's doing up there. You'd have to ask Dawn, those two are like two peas in a twisted, freakish pod. He actually wishes that he saw her more often. He takes her every other weekend and sends me about a thousand dollars a month for child support. He's a great Dad. If nothing else believe that. It's not all his fault that he left. I pushed him. Don't go up there and stake him or anything. Well, actually I guess if you did that you'd be looking at time in prison."
"Well, Buffy, if you don't blame him, why don't you apologize? Why don't you try to make amends?"
"It's not that simple Giles. It goes way beyond "Hey, I'm sorry I beat the crap out of you and called you mean names' type thing. This is for the best. We both need our space. Maybe in a year or two we can begin to bridge the gap, but for now it's almost a relief not to have to look into his hurt blue eyes anymore. It's really for the best."
Giles looked at his charge. Another pang of guilt waved over him for returning once more to England. He wasn't sure why. There was nothing he could have done to prevent it. Spike had proven on more than one occasion that he was smitten with Buffy beyond belief. And the sadness that filled Buffy only further proved his assumption that she too was in love with Spike. Giles had never cared for Spike as a person, well demon. Actually Spike was like the son that Giles never wanted and was always disappointed of. He could insult the imbecile all he wanted, but he was always quick to jump to vampire's defense. He sighed and reached over to hold Buffy's hand.
"Buffy, you have been through worse. You'll pull through this."
"I know. But that's part of the problem. I'm sick of just pulling through things. I want to be happy, but it's like this stubborn little thorn in my side won't let me be. Spike and I could have probably been content. But, it's like he wasn't event he same person. The snide remarks, the cocky attitude, the brutal honesty - it was all gone Giles. He was like William, well I'm assuming from what Spike told me of him. Isn't a relationship supposed to have passion Giles? I'm only twenty three years old, I wasn't ready to be an old married woman. Does that make any sense?"
"I know it's been hard for you Buffy. I do understand. But did you ever stop to consider what it was like for Spike? What he went through, for you? He went through all of that to have it thrown back in his face, by the one person that he did it for. You know that Spike isn't my ideal choice for a son-in-law, but you seem to be a little self-centered about the matter." Giles stated as gently as he could.
Buffy stared at Giles. Part of her was pissed because he was on Spike's side too, and he hadn't even met human Spike yet. Part of her knew he was right, just like everyone else. She simply decided to take the middle road on the matter.
"Giles. I never asked him to do what he did. I never even hinted at it. He always felt that I was comparing him to Angel. To be honest, I never even sorted out how I felt about him. I never got to know him well enough to." Buffy added sheepishly.
"Maybe you two should take some time and let some wounds heal. If nothing else, it's obvious that this little girl is loved a great deal."
"Yeah, Spike totally spoils her. It's a bitch getting her to do anything when she gets back from Daddy's house." Buffy said lightly.
Giles grinned at the small girl on his lap that was contentedly chewing on her hands. *This is definitely Spike's child* Giles thought to himself as he bounced the ten month old up and down on his lap.
"How is everything else going on? I know I left in a hurry that last summer, but it was imperative to get Willow help as soon as possible."
"I know Giles. Aside from a human Spike and Julia it's been pretty tame. After two years Xander and Anya can stand to be in the same room with one another. Dawn's going off to UCLA next year. She's not sure if she's going into the creative writing or the art program yet. I'm sure she'll be happier to be closer to Spike. Ever since he left, it's been a very strained relationship between us. She blames me for Spike leaving. She has every right in the world to. I, per usual, acted and then thought about it after the fact."
"What happened, Buffy. I mean what was the final straw."
"I hit him Giles. I mean really hit him. I almost dislocated his jaw. It's like this blind hatred washed over me. I've had a really hard time dealing with that. In all my years of slaying, that was the first time I ever abused my power to that extent. After he left I started doing the meditating that you first introduced me to. It's helped a lot."
"Buffy, I'm glad that you realized that what you did was wrong. It's beyond wrong, but it's in the past. I think that perhaps you should try to apologize for that simple act and go from there."
"God, Giles. I can't face him. It's been over six months since I've even seen him."
"If nothing else, try to write him a letter. At least let him know that you still think about him. I know he loves you, but not even he isn't going to wait around for you forever."
Buffy looked at Giles and instantly agreed with him. So much could have been avoided if he had been here this whole time. As stubborn and as pig headed as she was, Giles had been then one person that could usually get through to her. They talked about Willow's progress for awhile. Giles told her that even though it had been two years, the girl was still pretty shaken up and wasn't ready for the outside world yet. The Wiccan Council made it sound as if Willow would be ready for visitors within the next six months or so. That made Buffy smile slightly. For all the trouble that Willow had caused, she was still her best friend. And Buffy missed that friend deeply. The conversation finally turned toward Spike once more.
"So, you're going to go up to LA to poke and prod at Spike, aren't you?" Buffy asked coyly.
"Well, I have to admit, it is tempting. Who would believe me unless I had some documentation. This really is fascinating. Spike has always been a unique specimen, but he has surpassed Angel now in the vampire freak show category."
Buffy chuckled slightly at Giles enthusiasm toward Spike's case. She wished that she could have found that same sort of enthusiasm.
"Go ahead Giles. Try to be back in time for Julia's birthday party though. Oh, and try to keep a low profile. Angel and the gang have done a really good job of making the demon population either believe that Spike is dead or that he's off with Dru somewhere."
"I can understand why they would do that." Giles simply replied.
"It's beyond weird. Dawn was telling me that Angel and Spike were the best of buds these day. Strange."
"Maybe not everyone thought that the humanization of Spike was a big of a downfall as you did." Giles answered matter of factly.
Giles left Buffy to chew on those words while he made hotel arrangements in LA. He could have stayed with Angel. But in all truthfulness the Watcher liked Angel even less than he liked Spike.