Seeing Red - November 2004
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Spike got off the plane, slightly jet lagged. It had been a long time since he had flown to England. Actually he had never *flown* to England, but it had been a long damn time since he had stepped foot on English soil. He made is way through the airport with his carry on bag, searching for Giles. Giles was standing next to the luggage pickup, waiting for Spike. The two shook hands and made their way to Giles' car. The way to the Watchers Council was mostly silent and a little nerve racking.
"So, how is Red doing?"
"She's holding up. She come a long way in the last two and a half years. She'll be grateful to see a familiar face, aside from me." Giles responded.
Spike's journey served a few purposes. Willow was ready to see visitors finally. Giles thought it best for her to see someone that wasn't directly involved in her dark decent into magic. Spike was half way around the world when the Evil Willow scene went down, so Giles thought it best that Spike be her first visitor. Xander had been pissed and irritated, but both Spike and Giles had convinced him that this would be for the best. The WC was also interested in contracting some work out to Spike. He had proven that he had the intellect and the knowledge to work for the esteemed council. Spike had at first been weary of having anything to do with Quentin Travers and his merry band of naïve fools, but the pay was excellent, and it was nice to really be a part of something. That and he trusted Giles, probably more than he had ever trusted anyone in his entire life.
The duo pulled up to an enormous mansion and the valet parked the car for them. Giles reminded Spike that there was nothing to be nervous of. He wasn't going to break Willow; she had become pretty strong, especially over the last few months. They went to the third floor that held the guest apartments. Willow hadn't been on monitored lock up in almost a year. She was free to roam the grounds as she pleased, and she also helped with some projects to help pay for her treatment. The bracelet that she had strapped around her ankle was an occasional reminder of what she had done, but she was finally beginning to truly deal with what had happened. Spike and Giles walked through the door way of her apartment. Willow dropped her book at just stared at the former vampire. She was stunned, she hadn't known that she was going to have any visitors yet. She squealed in delight and ran over to hug Spike.
"Hey there pet, nice to see you too." Spike said, squeezing the girl tighter. He had always had a soft spot for the girl.
"Oh my God Spike, what's up with the heart beat? What happened?" Willow exclaimed as she backed away from the man.
Giles hadn't told Willow about anything. She would constantly ask about how the others were doing, but he kept his answers as vague as possible. He knew Willow had a lot of healing to do, and honestly things had gone straight to hell since she had left. He didn't want Willow to worry anymore than she already did.
"There will be plenty of time to catch up. Why don't we sit down and have a spot of tea. Haven't had it in ages." Spike responded.
Giles backed away toward the door. Things were going even better than he could have guessed.
"Will, I'll leave you two to talk and I'll have someone send some tea up to the room." Giles said, closing the door behind him.
The two stared at one another as they sat down, both having lopsided grins painted on their faces.
"Wonder which one of us he was talking to?" Willow asked Spike.
"Never noticed that we have the same nickname, Red. Then again, I always called you Red, didn't I?" Spike asked thoughtfully.
Willow blushed a little. She had never thought about the fact that Spike had taken the time to give her a personal nickname. She was so happy to see him, so happy to see anyone. She felt like everyone had forgotten about her.
"So, how's everything going back in Sunny D? And how come your human? And why isn't your hair white, and where is your duster?"
"Ripper told me that we're not supposed to be talking about the others, but I can tell you a bit about what happened to me." Spike responded.
Spike went into his tale about what happened between him and Buffy. He told her in more detail than anyone about his trials. He told her about how he struggled with his soul, how he and Buffy broke up. Willow had known about Julia, but she didn't know who the father was, until Spike told her. She looked at him in awe with all he had been through. She herself felt slightly guilty about it being so hard for what she had done, when Spike had been through so much more. She reached over and squeezed his hand when he was done.
"Wow, Spike. That is quite a story. I always knew that Julia looked familiar, but I could never quite place her. She's a beautiful girl, and from what little I've heard from Giles, you're a great Dad. You've been through so much, I feel a little silly about not being able to have some sort of closure about what I did."
"Nonsense. What you had to deal with was far more stressful than my shining happy soul. You did this all on your own Willow. Not many people can come back from where you were. I've known beings that have been sucked into dark magic like that, they never come back. You're amazing Willow, you never forget that."
"I believe you Spike. Out of all of the Scoobies, you never lied to me. That's why I'm glad you're here. I know that you wouldn't bull shit me. I'm sure that's why Giles had you come first. I've missed all of you so much." Willow cried, letting a small tear trail down her cheek.
"Luv, you mean you had no idea I was human, and you were still happy to see me?" Spike curiously asked.
"Of course silly. I'm not Xander. I would like to think I was a little more open than he was. It's just been so long since I've seen a familiar face. And honestly, there is guilt when I see you, because I treated you so horribly so many times, but it's not as bad. I didn't almost kill you in a magic induced rage. I know I have things to apologize for, but I don't feel like I have to grovel at your feet and beg for forgiveness if that makes any sense."
"It's OK Red. You were always better to me than Xander and Buffy ever were. You never did anything that couldn't be mended right quick. And you won't have to grovel to the others, they miss you and they understand what happened. There are no resentments or hard feelings. You just need to get better and go start your life again."
"It's so hard though. I killed a man. Warren - he begged for his life. I just can't seem to let that go."
"Ducks, I'm going to tell you something, and it's probably not on the recommended therapy program schedule, the wanker deserved it. There was nothing good about him, he was full of rage and evil. I'm not saying you should have been the one to do it, but you need to move on with your life. I tried to keep track of every person I have ever killed, and I think I lost track after about five-hundred seventy two. The only thing we can do is go on from here. We can't change the past, no matter how much we want to. It's what you do from this moment on that counts." Spike ended softly.
"When did you get so smart?" Willow asked playfully.
"Same time I got my soul back I reckon. The demon must have been a right stupid bastard, I've thought of about a million fool proof plans for offing the Slayer so far." Spike replied wickedly.
"And why would you be thinking about that."
"Just daydreaming pet, just daydreaming."
"So you can't talk about any of the rest of them?" Willow asked once more.
"Sorry luv. Watcher says that you have enough to deal with. You'll see them all soon enough though."
Spike glanced at his watched, which was wrong, and then he noticed the wall clock. His meeting with Quentin was in about ten minutes. He didn't want to, but he had to go. He looked at Willow apologetically.
"Will, I have to go. The poofters want me in a meeting in a few. I promise we'll pick up on this tomorrow." Spike said.
Willow and Spike hugged farewell and Spike made his way through the confusing maze of corridors until he found Quentin's office. Spike hated the bastard more than words could express, but he had agreed to at least meet with the wanker.
"Hello Travers." Spike said nonchalantly as he plopped in the over sized chair in front of Quentin's desk.
Giles sat next to Spike nervously. He knew that Spike's manners had progressed a good deal since he had gotten his soul back, but Giles also knew that Spike hated Quentin with a fiery passion.
"So, Giles tells me that you went and got a soul, William the Bloody." Quentin began.
"It's more than you've got mate." Spike sneered.
"Quentin, I'm sorry, Spike's had a long day." Giles began.
"It's quite all right Rupert. I know all about Spike's behavior patterns, and I've been expecting much worse all day."
"Well then," Spike began.
Giles kicked Spike in the shin to get him to shut up. Spike let out a sharp yelp and was immediately quieted.
"So what do you want with me? You don't have enough wankers working for you, figured that you needed one more or something?" Spike asked.
"Well, I've gotten reports from both Wesley and Rupert that you are absolutely astonishing when it comes to ancient texts and artifacts. They also told me that you have a good deal of knowledge about alternate dimensions, the physics that take place, and many other gifts. You're a rarity William. I admit that with your permission we would like to write a report about your transition from vampire to human, but mostly we are after your mind. I'm sure Giles let you know that the pay alone would make it worth your while." Quentin stated.
"I don't have to move here do I?" Spike inquired.
"Of course not. With Giles living in England and Wesley not an official member of the council anymore, it would be nice to have an affiliate in the area."
"You're not asking me to spy are you? Cause no deal if you're wanting me to spy on the Slayer and Angel."
"We don't need you to spy William. We have plenty of spies in place as it is. We've been doing it for a good deal of years and I think that the last time we tried to detain Faith was the last time we acted on what we discovered. Your friends are fine, I assure you. We basically just want you to do some writing and a little leg work for us. Your completely freelance. You can take on as much or as little work as you want to."
Spike stared at the older man, knowing that something had to be too good to be true.
"So do we have a deal?" Quentin pressed.
"Suppose so mate." Spike said, taking Quentin's hand to shake it, to confirm the deal.
Somewhere in the back of Spike's mind he couldn't help but feel that he had just sold his soul to the devil, once again.
**************************************
Willow and Spike spent a good deal of time together over the next few weeks. They discussed Tara, Buffy, how much things had changed since they first met. They took comfort in one another. The weeks had been as therapeutic for Spike as they had been for Willow. He knew he was going to miss the girl after he went home, but he knew that everyone would be relieved to find out that she was doing so well. At the airport, he was having a difficult time getting the girl to let go of him. He sighed heavily as they parted ways. He never before had been so sad to leave his home land.
Spike got off the plane, slightly jet lagged. It had been a long time since he had flown to England. Actually he had never *flown* to England, but it had been a long damn time since he had stepped foot on English soil. He made is way through the airport with his carry on bag, searching for Giles. Giles was standing next to the luggage pickup, waiting for Spike. The two shook hands and made their way to Giles' car. The way to the Watchers Council was mostly silent and a little nerve racking.
"So, how is Red doing?"
"She's holding up. She come a long way in the last two and a half years. She'll be grateful to see a familiar face, aside from me." Giles responded.
Spike's journey served a few purposes. Willow was ready to see visitors finally. Giles thought it best for her to see someone that wasn't directly involved in her dark decent into magic. Spike was half way around the world when the Evil Willow scene went down, so Giles thought it best that Spike be her first visitor. Xander had been pissed and irritated, but both Spike and Giles had convinced him that this would be for the best. The WC was also interested in contracting some work out to Spike. He had proven that he had the intellect and the knowledge to work for the esteemed council. Spike had at first been weary of having anything to do with Quentin Travers and his merry band of naïve fools, but the pay was excellent, and it was nice to really be a part of something. That and he trusted Giles, probably more than he had ever trusted anyone in his entire life.
The duo pulled up to an enormous mansion and the valet parked the car for them. Giles reminded Spike that there was nothing to be nervous of. He wasn't going to break Willow; she had become pretty strong, especially over the last few months. They went to the third floor that held the guest apartments. Willow hadn't been on monitored lock up in almost a year. She was free to roam the grounds as she pleased, and she also helped with some projects to help pay for her treatment. The bracelet that she had strapped around her ankle was an occasional reminder of what she had done, but she was finally beginning to truly deal with what had happened. Spike and Giles walked through the door way of her apartment. Willow dropped her book at just stared at the former vampire. She was stunned, she hadn't known that she was going to have any visitors yet. She squealed in delight and ran over to hug Spike.
"Hey there pet, nice to see you too." Spike said, squeezing the girl tighter. He had always had a soft spot for the girl.
"Oh my God Spike, what's up with the heart beat? What happened?" Willow exclaimed as she backed away from the man.
Giles hadn't told Willow about anything. She would constantly ask about how the others were doing, but he kept his answers as vague as possible. He knew Willow had a lot of healing to do, and honestly things had gone straight to hell since she had left. He didn't want Willow to worry anymore than she already did.
"There will be plenty of time to catch up. Why don't we sit down and have a spot of tea. Haven't had it in ages." Spike responded.
Giles backed away toward the door. Things were going even better than he could have guessed.
"Will, I'll leave you two to talk and I'll have someone send some tea up to the room." Giles said, closing the door behind him.
The two stared at one another as they sat down, both having lopsided grins painted on their faces.
"Wonder which one of us he was talking to?" Willow asked Spike.
"Never noticed that we have the same nickname, Red. Then again, I always called you Red, didn't I?" Spike asked thoughtfully.
Willow blushed a little. She had never thought about the fact that Spike had taken the time to give her a personal nickname. She was so happy to see him, so happy to see anyone. She felt like everyone had forgotten about her.
"So, how's everything going back in Sunny D? And how come your human? And why isn't your hair white, and where is your duster?"
"Ripper told me that we're not supposed to be talking about the others, but I can tell you a bit about what happened to me." Spike responded.
Spike went into his tale about what happened between him and Buffy. He told her in more detail than anyone about his trials. He told her about how he struggled with his soul, how he and Buffy broke up. Willow had known about Julia, but she didn't know who the father was, until Spike told her. She looked at him in awe with all he had been through. She herself felt slightly guilty about it being so hard for what she had done, when Spike had been through so much more. She reached over and squeezed his hand when he was done.
"Wow, Spike. That is quite a story. I always knew that Julia looked familiar, but I could never quite place her. She's a beautiful girl, and from what little I've heard from Giles, you're a great Dad. You've been through so much, I feel a little silly about not being able to have some sort of closure about what I did."
"Nonsense. What you had to deal with was far more stressful than my shining happy soul. You did this all on your own Willow. Not many people can come back from where you were. I've known beings that have been sucked into dark magic like that, they never come back. You're amazing Willow, you never forget that."
"I believe you Spike. Out of all of the Scoobies, you never lied to me. That's why I'm glad you're here. I know that you wouldn't bull shit me. I'm sure that's why Giles had you come first. I've missed all of you so much." Willow cried, letting a small tear trail down her cheek.
"Luv, you mean you had no idea I was human, and you were still happy to see me?" Spike curiously asked.
"Of course silly. I'm not Xander. I would like to think I was a little more open than he was. It's just been so long since I've seen a familiar face. And honestly, there is guilt when I see you, because I treated you so horribly so many times, but it's not as bad. I didn't almost kill you in a magic induced rage. I know I have things to apologize for, but I don't feel like I have to grovel at your feet and beg for forgiveness if that makes any sense."
"It's OK Red. You were always better to me than Xander and Buffy ever were. You never did anything that couldn't be mended right quick. And you won't have to grovel to the others, they miss you and they understand what happened. There are no resentments or hard feelings. You just need to get better and go start your life again."
"It's so hard though. I killed a man. Warren - he begged for his life. I just can't seem to let that go."
"Ducks, I'm going to tell you something, and it's probably not on the recommended therapy program schedule, the wanker deserved it. There was nothing good about him, he was full of rage and evil. I'm not saying you should have been the one to do it, but you need to move on with your life. I tried to keep track of every person I have ever killed, and I think I lost track after about five-hundred seventy two. The only thing we can do is go on from here. We can't change the past, no matter how much we want to. It's what you do from this moment on that counts." Spike ended softly.
"When did you get so smart?" Willow asked playfully.
"Same time I got my soul back I reckon. The demon must have been a right stupid bastard, I've thought of about a million fool proof plans for offing the Slayer so far." Spike replied wickedly.
"And why would you be thinking about that."
"Just daydreaming pet, just daydreaming."
"So you can't talk about any of the rest of them?" Willow asked once more.
"Sorry luv. Watcher says that you have enough to deal with. You'll see them all soon enough though."
Spike glanced at his watched, which was wrong, and then he noticed the wall clock. His meeting with Quentin was in about ten minutes. He didn't want to, but he had to go. He looked at Willow apologetically.
"Will, I have to go. The poofters want me in a meeting in a few. I promise we'll pick up on this tomorrow." Spike said.
Willow and Spike hugged farewell and Spike made his way through the confusing maze of corridors until he found Quentin's office. Spike hated the bastard more than words could express, but he had agreed to at least meet with the wanker.
"Hello Travers." Spike said nonchalantly as he plopped in the over sized chair in front of Quentin's desk.
Giles sat next to Spike nervously. He knew that Spike's manners had progressed a good deal since he had gotten his soul back, but Giles also knew that Spike hated Quentin with a fiery passion.
"So, Giles tells me that you went and got a soul, William the Bloody." Quentin began.
"It's more than you've got mate." Spike sneered.
"Quentin, I'm sorry, Spike's had a long day." Giles began.
"It's quite all right Rupert. I know all about Spike's behavior patterns, and I've been expecting much worse all day."
"Well then," Spike began.
Giles kicked Spike in the shin to get him to shut up. Spike let out a sharp yelp and was immediately quieted.
"So what do you want with me? You don't have enough wankers working for you, figured that you needed one more or something?" Spike asked.
"Well, I've gotten reports from both Wesley and Rupert that you are absolutely astonishing when it comes to ancient texts and artifacts. They also told me that you have a good deal of knowledge about alternate dimensions, the physics that take place, and many other gifts. You're a rarity William. I admit that with your permission we would like to write a report about your transition from vampire to human, but mostly we are after your mind. I'm sure Giles let you know that the pay alone would make it worth your while." Quentin stated.
"I don't have to move here do I?" Spike inquired.
"Of course not. With Giles living in England and Wesley not an official member of the council anymore, it would be nice to have an affiliate in the area."
"You're not asking me to spy are you? Cause no deal if you're wanting me to spy on the Slayer and Angel."
"We don't need you to spy William. We have plenty of spies in place as it is. We've been doing it for a good deal of years and I think that the last time we tried to detain Faith was the last time we acted on what we discovered. Your friends are fine, I assure you. We basically just want you to do some writing and a little leg work for us. Your completely freelance. You can take on as much or as little work as you want to."
Spike stared at the older man, knowing that something had to be too good to be true.
"So do we have a deal?" Quentin pressed.
"Suppose so mate." Spike said, taking Quentin's hand to shake it, to confirm the deal.
Somewhere in the back of Spike's mind he couldn't help but feel that he had just sold his soul to the devil, once again.
**************************************
Willow and Spike spent a good deal of time together over the next few weeks. They discussed Tara, Buffy, how much things had changed since they first met. They took comfort in one another. The weeks had been as therapeutic for Spike as they had been for Willow. He knew he was going to miss the girl after he went home, but he knew that everyone would be relieved to find out that she was doing so well. At the airport, he was having a difficult time getting the girl to let go of him. He sighed heavily as they parted ways. He never before had been so sad to leave his home land.