The air in the classroom seemed stale and slightly heated, and as Ms. Riley prattled on about this week's assignment, Amy doodled apathetically in her looseleaf. The class was Psychology and it seemed like a fun class when she signed up for it last spring. But that was before Colin's accident, and before his reawakening into the world, and before Ephram had come into her life. Now that she finally had Colin back, and everything was shifting into place, her life seemed a little flavorless, and nothing seemed to excite or amuse her anymore. She stopped doodling and stared down at the bracelet on her left wrist. It was made out of turquoise-like stones and cheap plastic red beads. She wore it every day because Colin had given it to her; he had crafted the thing himself especially for her when he was still rehabilitating in Denver. Amy truthfully thought that the bracelet was hideous: the turquoise and red clashed tremendously and it matched exactly nothing she had in her wardrobe.
"How do others see you?" Ms. Riley asked the class. For some reason, this question caught Amy's attention, and she sat up straighter in her chair and focused on her teacher. "Have you ever thought about what it would be like to observe yourself from a stranger's point of view?" Ms. Riley continued, "your assignment this week is to try and take a step outside yourself and to make observations about your own behavior in relation to how you act with others. Would you change the way you acted if you did not know the reasons behind your behavior? Would a stranger see you as kind or generous, or do your actions speak otherwise? A paper stating your observations and answers to the questions on the chalkboard is due next Monday. Any questions?" After a couple of seconds of silence, the bell announcing the end of class rang loudly. "See you tomorrow, then" Ms. Riley's cheerful voice called out to the exiting students.
Later that night, as Amy tried to fall asleep she contemplated the words of her teacher. She truthfully had never given much thought to how other people viewed her behavior. As she turned the idea over in her mind, her thoughts meandered to Colin and then Ephram. She turned about restlessly. Amy had been having restless, dreamless sleep whenever Colin went back to Denver for more rehab. That night was no exception. Finally, Amy concentrated on the sounds of her room: her ceiling fan whirring above, the radio from Bright's room across the hall, the sound of the wind against her window. She quickly found herself in a state of semi-sleep.
Tap. Tap. Tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap. Amy had not even realized that she was asleep until the tapping noises roused her. She got up from her bed and went to her window, where the sounds were coming from. There she saw the last person she'd ever expected to see: Ephram Brown. Why was he there? What did he want? Amy opened her window.
"Amy. Come down." Ephram whisper-shouted. Amy stared at him. "Come on. I have something for you." he said pleadingly. Amy did not know why she climbed down from her window. She did not know why she was following Ephram in the middle of the night. It seemed to her like she really wasn't making this choice; the choice seemed to be making itself. Still, she followed him into the dark, and she did so unquestioningly -- which was also very strange.
Ephram lead Amy out of her neighborhood and into the nearby woods. The darkness of the night seemed to deepen, and Amy became afraid that she would lose her way. As if Ephram could hear her thoughts, he reached out and took her hand. His hand was warm and soft compared to her cold and frigid one. What was happening? Why was she walking hand-in-hand with Ephram through the dark and cold woods? For that matter, why was Ephram even speaking to her? It didn't make sense after all she had said to him.
Pretty soon, the pair approached a clearing where there was a nice warm fire and a blanket with a picnic basket on top. For some reason, this surprise seemed perfectly normal. "I thought I would surprise you." Ephram spoke. Surprise? Ephram seemed to understand her puzzled look. "It's your birthday." How could she have forgotten? She smiled graciously, gratefully, and they both sat down on the blanket. They both stared into the flames for a few moments.
"Ephram..." Amy heard her voice say, "I can't tell you how much this means to me." iHow much you mean to me./i Amy thought. "I'm sorry..." Why did the words seem so foreign? Ephram had the grace to look convincingly perplexed. Amy continued, "for being so rude to you. For being so selfish. I'm sorry for everything... for the way we met, for the way that I..." Amy became flustered, then forced herself to continue, "/I you. I'm sorry that we aren't better friends, and I'm sorry for everything I put you through."
Ephram stared straight ahead into the flames, an undistinguishable look on his face. Ms. Riley's class must have really had her thinking. It seemed so clear while Amy was sitting there just waiting for Ephram to say something, anything, that her motivations had been completely self-centered, and that her behavior toward Ephram for the last several months had been nearly unforgivable. Ephram's lips moved into what looked like a tiny smile. At first, the look in his eyes was distant and unfocused, and then the smile reached his eyes.
"Amy," Ephram began, "thank you for that." Ephram looked over at her. Amy didn't think that she was making a funny face, but something about it made Ephram chuckle. "Amy, it's OK. You can stop looking so scared. I'm not mad...." Ephram seemed to be holding back laughter as he continued, "I'm sorry, but I don't know why this is so funny for me. I don't know... it just seems like what you just told me..." he paused to straighten out the smile on his face, "like what you just told me was news to you. Like it never occurred to you before now." Amy tried for look of surprise and disbelief, but she could tell that Ephram could see right through that.
"No..." she started to say.
"It's OK." Ephram said in genuine seriousness. "I don't want this to be about the past. It's your birthday. It's your day, and it's about you." He reached into the picnic basket, and Amy could hear him unwrapping something. She couldn't tell what he was doing since his back was to her. He turned around and he had a hostess cupcake with a candle on top. "This is for you. Do you want me to sing?" Ephram asked. Amy smiled and shook her head. She took the cupcake from him and as she did, a bracelet seemed to slip from up under her coat on to her lower wrist, becoming visible.
Pangs of guilt and frustration flowed through her as she tried to pretend to like she hadn't seen it, and like she hadn't seen him see it. Ephram was still smiling, though; it was as if he hadn't seen the atrocious bracelet, but Amy had seen the brief look of disappointment that flashed through his eyes. "Are you going to make a wish?" Ephram smilingly asked, indicating the candle.
"Oh..." she spoke. She thought for a moment and made a wish that was so deep in her heart, and at the same time, was something that she knew would never come true. She blew out the candle. Ephram was smiling at her, in a very knowing way. It was like he knew what she had wished for, although it was impossible for him to know.
"I brought marshmallows," Ephram said turning to the basket. He gave her a stick and brought a bag of jumbo marshmallows and put it between them. He started roasting a bunch of marshmallows, and she picked a nice plump marshmallow and put it on the end of her stick. As they both sat there, Amy watched Ephram. i Goodness, was he beautiful... and smart and caring and sensitive./i Ephram turned and looked at Amy. Amy did not stop watching him.
It seemed like her gaze made him uncomfortable. He looked away, and then he looked back up at her. "Stop looking at me like that, Amy," Ephram half-asked, half-demanded. "For a long time you were the only thing in this town giving me a reason to wake up in the morning," he continued bittersweetly, "and I realize that you love him. And you want to take care of him. I don't know if my feelings for you will never change, Amy. But, if all I can ever be is a good friend to you, then that's okay by me." Amy looked down at her bracelet. "I won't let you betray him, either." Ephram said seriously. Amy's marshmallow caught fire. Instead of putting it out, she just watched it burn.
"Ephram, I want this to be more," spoke Amy softly, "more than anything right now, I want to be with you." Amy was shocked to hear herself say. She dropped her marshmallow stick and looked at him. She moved closer to him and stared into his beautiful blue eyes. As she leaned into kiss him, she moved her hand to touch the side of his face. Like a constant reminder, the bracelet caught their attention again. Ephram backed away slowly.
"That's right," he said, "the key words there are 'right now'..." he trailed off.
"Ephram," Amy interrupted, "I don't want this to be about the future. It's my birthday, right? It's my day." She moved in closer. Ephram was still hesitant, and backed away. "Can you at least give the birthday girl a hug?" Amy asked. Ephram complied and Amy hugged him around his shoulders, and as her hands met behind Ephram, she felt herself pulling on the bracelet. Her wrist started to hurt, but she wouldn't stop tugging the bracelet. She wanted it to be more. Gosh, she wanted more. She wouldn't let go of Ephram and she couldn't make herself stop tugging on the bracelet.
As the ache in her heart grew, and the pain from her wrist throbbed, the fire got brighter. Amy heard bells sounding out. At first, they seemed far away, but they kept on getting closer. Finally, the bracelet string snapped. And Amy opened her eyes, though she was not even sure she had closed them. She was in her bed. Before considering it to be a dream, she had thought it was magic that transported her back to her bedroom because it had seemed so real. Amy shut off her ringing alarm clock. But it hadn't been real. It wasn't even her birthday. But, much to Amy's astonishment, her bed and her bedroom floor were littered with bright red and turquoise beads.
"How do others see you?" Ms. Riley asked the class. For some reason, this question caught Amy's attention, and she sat up straighter in her chair and focused on her teacher. "Have you ever thought about what it would be like to observe yourself from a stranger's point of view?" Ms. Riley continued, "your assignment this week is to try and take a step outside yourself and to make observations about your own behavior in relation to how you act with others. Would you change the way you acted if you did not know the reasons behind your behavior? Would a stranger see you as kind or generous, or do your actions speak otherwise? A paper stating your observations and answers to the questions on the chalkboard is due next Monday. Any questions?" After a couple of seconds of silence, the bell announcing the end of class rang loudly. "See you tomorrow, then" Ms. Riley's cheerful voice called out to the exiting students.
Later that night, as Amy tried to fall asleep she contemplated the words of her teacher. She truthfully had never given much thought to how other people viewed her behavior. As she turned the idea over in her mind, her thoughts meandered to Colin and then Ephram. She turned about restlessly. Amy had been having restless, dreamless sleep whenever Colin went back to Denver for more rehab. That night was no exception. Finally, Amy concentrated on the sounds of her room: her ceiling fan whirring above, the radio from Bright's room across the hall, the sound of the wind against her window. She quickly found herself in a state of semi-sleep.
Tap. Tap. Tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap. Amy had not even realized that she was asleep until the tapping noises roused her. She got up from her bed and went to her window, where the sounds were coming from. There she saw the last person she'd ever expected to see: Ephram Brown. Why was he there? What did he want? Amy opened her window.
"Amy. Come down." Ephram whisper-shouted. Amy stared at him. "Come on. I have something for you." he said pleadingly. Amy did not know why she climbed down from her window. She did not know why she was following Ephram in the middle of the night. It seemed to her like she really wasn't making this choice; the choice seemed to be making itself. Still, she followed him into the dark, and she did so unquestioningly -- which was also very strange.
Ephram lead Amy out of her neighborhood and into the nearby woods. The darkness of the night seemed to deepen, and Amy became afraid that she would lose her way. As if Ephram could hear her thoughts, he reached out and took her hand. His hand was warm and soft compared to her cold and frigid one. What was happening? Why was she walking hand-in-hand with Ephram through the dark and cold woods? For that matter, why was Ephram even speaking to her? It didn't make sense after all she had said to him.
Pretty soon, the pair approached a clearing where there was a nice warm fire and a blanket with a picnic basket on top. For some reason, this surprise seemed perfectly normal. "I thought I would surprise you." Ephram spoke. Surprise? Ephram seemed to understand her puzzled look. "It's your birthday." How could she have forgotten? She smiled graciously, gratefully, and they both sat down on the blanket. They both stared into the flames for a few moments.
"Ephram..." Amy heard her voice say, "I can't tell you how much this means to me." iHow much you mean to me./i Amy thought. "I'm sorry..." Why did the words seem so foreign? Ephram had the grace to look convincingly perplexed. Amy continued, "for being so rude to you. For being so selfish. I'm sorry for everything... for the way we met, for the way that I..." Amy became flustered, then forced herself to continue, "/I you. I'm sorry that we aren't better friends, and I'm sorry for everything I put you through."
Ephram stared straight ahead into the flames, an undistinguishable look on his face. Ms. Riley's class must have really had her thinking. It seemed so clear while Amy was sitting there just waiting for Ephram to say something, anything, that her motivations had been completely self-centered, and that her behavior toward Ephram for the last several months had been nearly unforgivable. Ephram's lips moved into what looked like a tiny smile. At first, the look in his eyes was distant and unfocused, and then the smile reached his eyes.
"Amy," Ephram began, "thank you for that." Ephram looked over at her. Amy didn't think that she was making a funny face, but something about it made Ephram chuckle. "Amy, it's OK. You can stop looking so scared. I'm not mad...." Ephram seemed to be holding back laughter as he continued, "I'm sorry, but I don't know why this is so funny for me. I don't know... it just seems like what you just told me..." he paused to straighten out the smile on his face, "like what you just told me was news to you. Like it never occurred to you before now." Amy tried for look of surprise and disbelief, but she could tell that Ephram could see right through that.
"No..." she started to say.
"It's OK." Ephram said in genuine seriousness. "I don't want this to be about the past. It's your birthday. It's your day, and it's about you." He reached into the picnic basket, and Amy could hear him unwrapping something. She couldn't tell what he was doing since his back was to her. He turned around and he had a hostess cupcake with a candle on top. "This is for you. Do you want me to sing?" Ephram asked. Amy smiled and shook her head. She took the cupcake from him and as she did, a bracelet seemed to slip from up under her coat on to her lower wrist, becoming visible.
Pangs of guilt and frustration flowed through her as she tried to pretend to like she hadn't seen it, and like she hadn't seen him see it. Ephram was still smiling, though; it was as if he hadn't seen the atrocious bracelet, but Amy had seen the brief look of disappointment that flashed through his eyes. "Are you going to make a wish?" Ephram smilingly asked, indicating the candle.
"Oh..." she spoke. She thought for a moment and made a wish that was so deep in her heart, and at the same time, was something that she knew would never come true. She blew out the candle. Ephram was smiling at her, in a very knowing way. It was like he knew what she had wished for, although it was impossible for him to know.
"I brought marshmallows," Ephram said turning to the basket. He gave her a stick and brought a bag of jumbo marshmallows and put it between them. He started roasting a bunch of marshmallows, and she picked a nice plump marshmallow and put it on the end of her stick. As they both sat there, Amy watched Ephram. i Goodness, was he beautiful... and smart and caring and sensitive./i Ephram turned and looked at Amy. Amy did not stop watching him.
It seemed like her gaze made him uncomfortable. He looked away, and then he looked back up at her. "Stop looking at me like that, Amy," Ephram half-asked, half-demanded. "For a long time you were the only thing in this town giving me a reason to wake up in the morning," he continued bittersweetly, "and I realize that you love him. And you want to take care of him. I don't know if my feelings for you will never change, Amy. But, if all I can ever be is a good friend to you, then that's okay by me." Amy looked down at her bracelet. "I won't let you betray him, either." Ephram said seriously. Amy's marshmallow caught fire. Instead of putting it out, she just watched it burn.
"Ephram, I want this to be more," spoke Amy softly, "more than anything right now, I want to be with you." Amy was shocked to hear herself say. She dropped her marshmallow stick and looked at him. She moved closer to him and stared into his beautiful blue eyes. As she leaned into kiss him, she moved her hand to touch the side of his face. Like a constant reminder, the bracelet caught their attention again. Ephram backed away slowly.
"That's right," he said, "the key words there are 'right now'..." he trailed off.
"Ephram," Amy interrupted, "I don't want this to be about the future. It's my birthday, right? It's my day." She moved in closer. Ephram was still hesitant, and backed away. "Can you at least give the birthday girl a hug?" Amy asked. Ephram complied and Amy hugged him around his shoulders, and as her hands met behind Ephram, she felt herself pulling on the bracelet. Her wrist started to hurt, but she wouldn't stop tugging the bracelet. She wanted it to be more. Gosh, she wanted more. She wouldn't let go of Ephram and she couldn't make herself stop tugging on the bracelet.
As the ache in her heart grew, and the pain from her wrist throbbed, the fire got brighter. Amy heard bells sounding out. At first, they seemed far away, but they kept on getting closer. Finally, the bracelet string snapped. And Amy opened her eyes, though she was not even sure she had closed them. She was in her bed. Before considering it to be a dream, she had thought it was magic that transported her back to her bedroom because it had seemed so real. Amy shut off her ringing alarm clock. But it hadn't been real. It wasn't even her birthday. But, much to Amy's astonishment, her bed and her bedroom floor were littered with bright red and turquoise beads.