Broken Man - January 2006
Chapter Thirty-Six
Jules was already snug in her bed while Dawn and Spike were sitting on the couch, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. They were relieved to have baby sitting duty for the most part. They both were pretty sure that they were still hung over from Christmas. They sat up for the count down, holding their glasses of white wine. At midnight they celebrated in a toast.
"To a new year, and to new beginnings." Dawn said.
"To new beginnings." Spike agreed.
After they were done with their glasses they stared at one another once more. It was the same uncomfortable stare they had shared at the Christmas party. Without thinking about it, Spike grabbed Dawn's waist and pulled her to him. There lips were mere inches apart.
"I can't promise you anything, you know that right luv?" He asked her.
"I know, something is better than nothing." Dawn responded.
It wasn't going to win any awards for fuzzy love moment of the year, but the two had made a very strange understanding. Spike then pulled Dawn even closer and kissed her. It wasn't the shy kiss Dawn had given him on his couch that fateful evening. It wasn't the simple kiss that Spike had given Dawn before he left for LA. This kiss was all about mutual desperation, mutual loneliness, and mutual hunger. Dawn wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and ran her fingers through his hair. Spike momentarily pulled from the kiss.
"Are you sure this is what you want love? I've a broken man, there is no fixing that. You understand that, don't you?" He asked in between pants.
"I love you for everything you are, broken man or not. Please, let me make you happy." Dawn replied.
Spike picked the young woman up and carried her into the bedroom. The kissing began to raise both of their body temperatures. Dawn was tugging at the buttons on his shirt; Spike was unbuttoning Dawn's pants. For a few moments they were lost in one another. They consoled one another. Every single part of their brains and a majority of their hearts told them that what they were doing was wrong, but they were both too tired to fight it anymore. Spike came to the conclusion that Buffy had moved on with her life, and Dawn accepted the fact that she would always be second best. And at that moment, that was fine with her, because she was in bed with a man that had meant so many things to her over the years.
Dawn started to kiss Spike's necks, rubbing her hand over his erection. He moaned softly and pulled her hand away. He then pulled her sweater off, devouring her flesh. He kissed and bit and played with every ounce of her flesh. Dawn was lost in passion she had only read about. She once again reached for Spike's inner thigh and he once again slapped her away.
"Am I doing something wrong?" She asked nervously.
"Couldn't do anything wrong if you tried. This is all for you. Just lay back and relax." Spike told her.
Spike knew that Dawn was a virgin and he wasn't ready to deal with the responsibility of taking that away from her. He didn't know if he would ever be ready. Hell, he wasn't sure if he was truly ready to be doing what he was doing. He lovingly ran his fingers through Dawn's hair, attempting to relax her. He then removed her panties, and kissing her neck, her breasts, her stomach, he then disappeared under the covers. Dawn quietly moaned, while a few tears slipped down her face. She had never known what this could feel like and she never wanted to lose the feeling. She cried out in her orgasm and the unlikely pair fell asleep in one another's arms.
***************************
Spike awoke the next morning to a still sleeping Dawn and a mane of dark brunette hair flowing over his chest. He nudged the girl awake, still trying to figure out what exactly had happened the night before. He hadn't been drunk, but he clearly hadn't been thinking clearly. Had he and Dawn made an arrangement? Was he going to have to have sex with her? Was he going to have to break her heart, again? *Stupid bloody wanker* he thought to himself as he tried to wake Dawn up. He eyes fluttered a few times before giving Spike a lazy smile, cuddling even closer to him. He did admit that is was nice to have someone he adored so much wake up with him in the morning. It did ease the loneliness.
"How'd you sleep, pet?" Spike asked.
"Like the dead." She responded.
"Can we talk Dawn?" Spike asked.
Dawn sat up, pulling the sheet up with her. She had just noticed that she was naked and she felt a little more than vulnerable. She knew this was coming. He felt guilty for using her. He was going to tell her this was all a mistake and that she needed to move on with her life. Dawn was determined. He had given her a sliver and she was going to take that for all that it was worth.
"I'm sorry about last night Dawn. I had no right to take advantage of you like that." Spike began.
"Are you crazy? Last night was the greatest night of my life. Don't you see that Will? I wanted to be here. I wanted to be here with you."
"I can't give you anything though Dawn. I can give you my love, but it's not the kind of love you want, it lacks the fire and passion that you need. I wasn't lying. I'm a broken man, with what happened with Buffy. I just can't give you what I gave her."
"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking for you to give whatever you can. I love you, and please don't tell me it's some sort of child hood crush, because we both know it's not. I know I can't make you completely happy, I know that she's the only one that can do that. The only thing I'm asking is for you to let me love you."
Spike looked into Dawn's eyes. Gone was the innocent child he had once known. Now, this was all woman. And this woman knew what she wanted. Spike was too tired to fight with her anymore. It's not like Buffy was ever coming back. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but Dawn already seemed to know that consequences. He reached over and pulled her onto his lap.
"Whatever you wish love." Spike said.
With that he kissed her on the forehead and got up to get some clothes to take a shower. Neither of them noticed that Julia had been standing at the door of Spike's bedroom, taking in all that she had seen.
Jules was already snug in her bed while Dawn and Spike were sitting on the couch, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. They were relieved to have baby sitting duty for the most part. They both were pretty sure that they were still hung over from Christmas. They sat up for the count down, holding their glasses of white wine. At midnight they celebrated in a toast.
"To a new year, and to new beginnings." Dawn said.
"To new beginnings." Spike agreed.
After they were done with their glasses they stared at one another once more. It was the same uncomfortable stare they had shared at the Christmas party. Without thinking about it, Spike grabbed Dawn's waist and pulled her to him. There lips were mere inches apart.
"I can't promise you anything, you know that right luv?" He asked her.
"I know, something is better than nothing." Dawn responded.
It wasn't going to win any awards for fuzzy love moment of the year, but the two had made a very strange understanding. Spike then pulled Dawn even closer and kissed her. It wasn't the shy kiss Dawn had given him on his couch that fateful evening. It wasn't the simple kiss that Spike had given Dawn before he left for LA. This kiss was all about mutual desperation, mutual loneliness, and mutual hunger. Dawn wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and ran her fingers through his hair. Spike momentarily pulled from the kiss.
"Are you sure this is what you want love? I've a broken man, there is no fixing that. You understand that, don't you?" He asked in between pants.
"I love you for everything you are, broken man or not. Please, let me make you happy." Dawn replied.
Spike picked the young woman up and carried her into the bedroom. The kissing began to raise both of their body temperatures. Dawn was tugging at the buttons on his shirt; Spike was unbuttoning Dawn's pants. For a few moments they were lost in one another. They consoled one another. Every single part of their brains and a majority of their hearts told them that what they were doing was wrong, but they were both too tired to fight it anymore. Spike came to the conclusion that Buffy had moved on with her life, and Dawn accepted the fact that she would always be second best. And at that moment, that was fine with her, because she was in bed with a man that had meant so many things to her over the years.
Dawn started to kiss Spike's necks, rubbing her hand over his erection. He moaned softly and pulled her hand away. He then pulled her sweater off, devouring her flesh. He kissed and bit and played with every ounce of her flesh. Dawn was lost in passion she had only read about. She once again reached for Spike's inner thigh and he once again slapped her away.
"Am I doing something wrong?" She asked nervously.
"Couldn't do anything wrong if you tried. This is all for you. Just lay back and relax." Spike told her.
Spike knew that Dawn was a virgin and he wasn't ready to deal with the responsibility of taking that away from her. He didn't know if he would ever be ready. Hell, he wasn't sure if he was truly ready to be doing what he was doing. He lovingly ran his fingers through Dawn's hair, attempting to relax her. He then removed her panties, and kissing her neck, her breasts, her stomach, he then disappeared under the covers. Dawn quietly moaned, while a few tears slipped down her face. She had never known what this could feel like and she never wanted to lose the feeling. She cried out in her orgasm and the unlikely pair fell asleep in one another's arms.
***************************
Spike awoke the next morning to a still sleeping Dawn and a mane of dark brunette hair flowing over his chest. He nudged the girl awake, still trying to figure out what exactly had happened the night before. He hadn't been drunk, but he clearly hadn't been thinking clearly. Had he and Dawn made an arrangement? Was he going to have to have sex with her? Was he going to have to break her heart, again? *Stupid bloody wanker* he thought to himself as he tried to wake Dawn up. He eyes fluttered a few times before giving Spike a lazy smile, cuddling even closer to him. He did admit that is was nice to have someone he adored so much wake up with him in the morning. It did ease the loneliness.
"How'd you sleep, pet?" Spike asked.
"Like the dead." She responded.
"Can we talk Dawn?" Spike asked.
Dawn sat up, pulling the sheet up with her. She had just noticed that she was naked and she felt a little more than vulnerable. She knew this was coming. He felt guilty for using her. He was going to tell her this was all a mistake and that she needed to move on with her life. Dawn was determined. He had given her a sliver and she was going to take that for all that it was worth.
"I'm sorry about last night Dawn. I had no right to take advantage of you like that." Spike began.
"Are you crazy? Last night was the greatest night of my life. Don't you see that Will? I wanted to be here. I wanted to be here with you."
"I can't give you anything though Dawn. I can give you my love, but it's not the kind of love you want, it lacks the fire and passion that you need. I wasn't lying. I'm a broken man, with what happened with Buffy. I just can't give you what I gave her."
"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking for you to give whatever you can. I love you, and please don't tell me it's some sort of child hood crush, because we both know it's not. I know I can't make you completely happy, I know that she's the only one that can do that. The only thing I'm asking is for you to let me love you."
Spike looked into Dawn's eyes. Gone was the innocent child he had once known. Now, this was all woman. And this woman knew what she wanted. Spike was too tired to fight with her anymore. It's not like Buffy was ever coming back. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but Dawn already seemed to know that consequences. He reached over and pulled her onto his lap.
"Whatever you wish love." Spike said.
With that he kissed her on the forehead and got up to get some clothes to take a shower. Neither of them noticed that Julia had been standing at the door of Spike's bedroom, taking in all that she had seen.