AN: Jeez! It's been nearly a month since I've updated! Well you'll be glad to know then that this is officially my longest chapter ever, over 5,000 words long! Senior year is well on its way and I've blown off studying for math to finish this chapter finally. I actually am pretty happy with how it's come out, so I hope you enjoy it too. I've just been typing for two hours, so my apologies if I'm not to talkative and explaining things like I should, but my fingers are becoming lazy and I'm misspelling nearly every word in the process of typing this right now :)
Chapter Twenty-One: The Art of Grieving
Link slowly raised himself from his bed many hours later when the sun was still sleeping and the commotion in the castle had quieted down somewhat. Swinging his feet over the bed he could feel every muscle ache, practically cry out in pain, and left him groaning and frozen to the mattress. Someone must have heard him beginning to stir, and within a moment young Malayia's soft form entered the room. It was then that Link took notice that his clothing had been stripped down to naught but something that covered him from indecency. He made a vain attempt to gain some cover with a blanket, but found little cooperation with that.
"They couldn't tend your wounds through the clothing," Rook's young sister said shyly, not looking at him as she threw a few more logs onto the fire. She had known him only as her older brothers' friend, met him on several occasions before, but now she was serving the Hero of Time and that made her nerves jump. "I've brought you some soup, you must be hungry," her soft Adrean lilt spilt out every now and then despite her will to repress it. Link watched her work and though he still felt utterly exhausted, he could not deny the deep rumble in his stomach.
"Yeah, that would be great," he smiled weakly, then hissed when his lip stung in pain just as Darunia and Captain Marcus entered the room. Malayia set the bowl of soup down on the table and quickly bowed as she scurried out. Link, having inspected his upper lip and finding yet another small cut there, watched her disappear behind the door and then looked at them, and they stared back for several moments without so much as a word between them.
"How long has it been?" Link finally asked, shifting his attention to the clean and neatly cared for bandage on his right hand. Should have been a bit quicker, Link, then Ganondorf's sword wouldn't have sliced your hand like this, you idiot…he scolded himself.
"About seven hours," said Darunia. "How are you feeling?"
"Could be better, could be worse," another smile graced Link's lips as he forced himself to stand. That action resulted in slight dizziness and aching, but he remained on his own two feet. Both Darunia and Marcus knew he shouldn't be standing, but they would not deny a man his pride by coddling him.
"How are the others? Zelda? Impa?" Link made his way over to the stew on the table on stiff legs and fell into the chair.
"They are doing well enough, considering," Marcus said soberly. His tone stopped Link's eating with the spoon halfway to his mouth. He was afraid to ask what was wrong, fearing the worst. The deep grooves on Marcus's forehead, which seemed to have appeared over the course of the night, creased again in a frown. How was a man to deliver this news? The poor lad had been through enough that night.
"There's no easy way to say this," Marcus's voice was uncharacteristically hindered with struggling emotions, "the king is dead, Link." Link's spoon dropped in the bowl and the meal was sloshed out over the rim. Link stared at him, unblinking, until the words finally hit home.
"It can't be," He stammered, "it's just not possible." It couldn't be, shouldn't be.
"It is, Brother. Erich Harkinian has passed. Shortly after the battle ended, just a few hours ago." Darunia's dark eyes shimmered with grief momentarily. There was another long silence that was filled only with the steady crackle of the fire and the low, murmuring voices of the people running the halls of the castle.
"Zelda?"
"Suffering, but she knows she needs to be strong for the people. The crown is hers now."
"I need to see her. I'll go now," determinedly Link stood, wobbled, and then collapsed back into the chair with a groan. The headache that at first had been a dull pain had exploded into a sharp jab in the back of his head. Trying to ignore it, Link strained and tried to stand again with similar results. He just was not strong enough yet.
"Rest, Link, or you will only worsen yourself. Zelda will not see you now, anyway. She will not see anyone." Darunia laid a heavy, leathery hand on the hero's shoulder as Link slumped weakly down in the seat. Sighing heavily Link rubbed his hands over his face, rough palms scraping against soft cheeks and bandages, and looked up when Marcus handed him a new tunic.
"As soon as she seeks company, you will be the first to know, my friend. Now cover yourself, for Din's sake," it was actually a slight smile that escaped onto Marcus's lips and for a moment, Link forgot his troubles. It was good to see him smile.
"Yeah, well, I thought I'd just hang around in this for a while," Link looked down at the wrap of white cloth around his hips and pulled the tunic over his head. The smile quickly passed though and Marcus and Darunia resumed their sober expressions. Link's fingers didn't feel like cooperating with him at the moment, so he left the tunic laces open.
"What of the others now?" He asked breathlessly as every muscle he had to use to pull the tunic on twisted in a collective ache. When neither Marcus nor Darunia answered him in any hurry Link worried. He knew the battle had been terrible, the images still danced on the edge of every thought in his head, but surely the King's death had been the greatest price? Had someone else been taken as well?
"Saria's not…" Link began, his voice was wavering terribly and the color had flooded out of his face again.
"No, no, she is fine…It's Impa. She's lost her sight," Darunia's words struck Link in another blow that would have knocked him back had he not already been sitting. After a few moments his mind jumped to the others.
"Ruto? Nabooru?"
"All fine. They are waiting to see you, when you're ready. But you still need rest."
"Damn being ready, I'm ready now."
"Don't be foolish, Link. You can barely stand on your own." Marcus's cape swirled gracefully around his knees as he and Darunia led Link back to the bed. Link began to object, but as he accidentally moved his shoulder in a way it did not like to be moved, the ripples of pain made him think otherwise. He stifled a cry, smothered it until it was a wrenching groan even when the pain ripped through him like new wounds. A meeting would have to wait until morning, at least, he admitted regrettably. Lying back down on the bed, Link watched the Captain and Fire Sage stride out of the room, leaving him alone again.
***
The night waxed on and sky grew light with morning again as the sun drew out in all of its splendor and glory. The castle had not slept that night though, so the greetings to the new day went unsaid and unnoticed. Servants traipsed along through the halls, quietly making meals and going about the chores that could not be left undone. There was a heavy fog of sadness in the air, though the sun did its best to wash away those feelings with brilliant rays of sunlight and singing birds.
Malon and Rook rode through the great arch into the Market with their weekly deliveries enjoying the sunshine after the violent storm. Nuzzled up to her husband as she was, arm around his waist, his around her shoulder, Malon did not think that anything could tear her away from the contentment she felt. And with the time they shared last night, her female intuition nagged at her, in that pleasant, exhilarating way, that she had come away from it with child, finally. Just think, their first child! Wouldn't he be so happy?
The storm had been terrific. Blue lightning streaked across the sky as great whips from the weeping black clouds and the thunder and wind had howled and vibrated through the air, charging the night with their energy. Each bolt had lit up the stable, each burst of thunder drummed along with the beat of their racing hearts as they shared their embrace, and the pounding rain lulled them to sleep while rolled in each others arms, weak and content from loving.
Malon was glowing.
As they drew farther into the market, Malon's happy thoughts turned to confusion as for the first time she beheld the battle scared Temple of Time. A gasp strangled in her throat and her husband sat mute with shear shock.
"Wha's happened?" Rook exhaled and choked on the words as he stared at what had once been the Temple. The roof had been ripped in it seemed, fallen through as if someone had torn it from the inside. The walls, only a few of the mighty sides still remained in tact, lay crumbled in their own dust; a few blackened the color of cinder.
"The…the storm couldn't have done this," Malon found herself whispering. In their harnesses at the front of the cart, Wes and Snyder squirmed nervously. They felt the negative energy in the air as animals do, and wanted no part in it. Rook clicked the reigns and urged them forward again, negotiating the road carefully now. The entire town was buried under a deep blanket of shock, so thick that Rook felt if he made any sudden movements he should find himself slamming into some kind of invisible solid wall. They rode up to the kitchens on what should be the busiest delivery day of the week, but found only three other carts being unloaded into the storerooms.
A new man, not the one who was usually in charge of the foodstuffs for the castle pantries, but a younger and frazzled one, met Rook and Malon as they stepped off their wagon.
"Lon Lon Ranch? Good, I was worried you weren't coming. I uh…" the boy shifted through a stack of papers in the crook of his arm, paused in confusion, then flipped through again.
"We come this time every week," Rook corrected. "Where's Nathan?"
The boy, young man really, Rook supposed, though the poor lad still had his baby face and not one sign of a beard, looked up from the papers quickly. Time, it seemed, was in short supply.
"Indisposed. I'm filling in. This says that you're to drop your goods off at…"
"What's happened here?" Rook interrupted, growing irritated all of a sudden. The boy stared at him, dumbfounded, which irritated Rook even more.
"You don't know?" He said.
"Well if I did, d'ye think I'd be askin' ya?" The light touch of Malon's hand on Rook's arm reminded him to lower his voice.
"How could you not know?" The boy gaped, "everybody knows."
"We haven't heard anything. We've haven't been into town for two days. Now, tell us what's happened here," Malon, calmer and more persuasive than her husband, interjected.
"Ganondorf, the Sages…where do you begin?" The words all flew out in one quick breath from the lad, as the mere idea of trying to explain seemed a more daunting task than his brain could handle. Malon gasped in horror, at first from disbelief, then knowing that anything involving the fallen desert king would have included Link. Thinking of Link, Malon realized with nearly equal horror that she had completely forgotten Link's birthday, which had passed a few days before.
"Well what happened lad?! You no just stop with tha!" Rook was near yelling now, which startled the boy even more.
"The Hero of Time defeated him…The king is dead!" The boy burst out. Rook nearly fell to his knees as he uttered an oath under his breath and held Malon tightly, who too was teetering where she stood.
"Tha's no true," Rook attempted not to appear shaken, but it was clear that he was, deeply.
"I'd never make up a thing such as that!" the boy snapped. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I have other things that need to be done. Please unload your goods over by the cellar doors as quickly as possible. There is to much else to think about." He mumbled these last words as he hurried away to another cart, repeating the same process of flipping through papers and frowning.
Malon looked up at Rook, her eyes shimmering with a light glaze of tears, and he kissed the top of her head and pulled her close. Then they mechanically set to their task of unloading crates, periodically looking up to the castle towers, wondering, hoping, praying, that Link was all right.
***
Erich Harkinian was laid to rest two days after his death. Many came to mourn him and followed his burial train into the streets of Kakariko, funneling into the graveyard and squeezed themselves in so tightly that nary a one could move. Fathers sat their children on their shoulders so that they might see, the women wept, and Zelda stood alone before them all as the High priest gave the poetic benediction. Her eyes, beautiful and blue, still shed tears even though she felt drained of everything. Every tear, every emotion, every strength.
The Royal Tomb was opened and the small procession continued inside and out of the view of the public. The Sages were all in company, as was the Hero of Time and the King's most trusted knights, who carried their king in silent grief. Zelda did not like the confining feeling of her family's tomb and she could hear the voices of her ancestors whispering, weeping…she shivered underneath her dark mantle. Her sight drifted from her father's body to Link, who stood slightly behind her. His mouth was pressed thin and hard and Zelda could tell that standing for him still caused a great deal of pain. How many scars did he carry under the garments he wore, how many were hidden? The bandage for the gash along his jaw and cheek was still wrapped tightly around his head, causing his hair to protrude from odd places in short little bristles.
Impa did not need her sight to find her way to Zelda's side, and she stood with eyes open in the direction of the High Priest's voice, appearing just the same as if she could still see. The Sheikah wanted to open her arms and embrace her charge, her daughter, but it was not her way she reminded herself. Even now, the woman standing next to her was no longer a little girl clinging about her legs, dependent only on her for protection, but a queen with the weight of a kingdom now on her shoulders.
Harkinian's body, shrunken somewhat it seemed, was lain down on the vacant stone bed, his features peaceful and proud. Zelda took a few steps forward, fear hindering the first steps, and then found herself by her father's side and her hand in his. It was cold in her hand and she gripped it harder to steady her trembling. The small party watched on in sorrow and respect, as the Queen made her final earthly good-byes to a part of herself, her father, her hero, her heart. Her tears dropped onto his colorless cheeks as she kissed his brow, kissed his lips lightly, then rested for a moment forehead to forehead, her golden hair sweeping over his shoulders, before forcing herself to move away.
Two knights drew the shroud over the body and the High Priest made the final prayer.
Bless this man, O Farore, for his heart was filled with courage. Bless him, O Din, for he used his power to rule just and fairly. And bless him, O Nayru, for he was wise…
Zelda felt her world slip away from her a little more as her father was lost from view underneath the ornate shroud. His journey had finally ended.
The sky seemed so bright and empty as the party reemerged from the crypt that Zelda could not see. Really it was she could not feel. She did not remember the journey back to the castle, only remembered sitting alone in her room that night, looking out into the stars and onto the waxing moon.
***
It was three days after her father's burial before Zelda would see anyone. Only Impa had seen her during this time, drifting in and out from the room, seemingly unhindered by the loss of sight, and she would not speak willingly of the queen's spirits. That was why Link was somewhat surprised when he was summoned from her that afternoon. She was lingering in the throne room when Link entered and she stood far away from the throne too, he noticed, as if she was avoiding it. A feminine crown settled on her head and glinted in the sunlight that streamed in through the opened windows. Bird songs drifted in from the courtyard outside, seeming to mesmerize Zelda with their pretty singing, as she did not even look away from them when Link entered the room.
His polite cough roused her from her reveries and her golden head snapped around in alarm. She stared at him for a moment as if she didn't see him, then a slow, tired smile crept across her lips gracefully.
"Link," she sighed as they met and embraced. Link noticed that she hung on a little longer than usual and that when they parted, Zelda wiped a stray tear away with the back of her hand.
"Zelda, I…" he began but found difficulty with words. The new queen relaxed her shoulders and let out a long, calming breath to collect the thoughts that had just been flying out the window to the birds.
"Let's not," she said quietly. "Now come, sit and talk with me. You are looking much better."
"They're nothing," Link grinned, speaking of his healing wounds.
She pulled him over to the window that she had been staring out of and continued to do so again. The fresh sunlight beat down upon their faces as the young shadows of the trees danced in the soft summer breeze across the grass. The flowers had lost their springtime luster, but the cornucopia of summer colors, pinks and yellows and reds, were bursting in every bush and plant in the courtyard garden. The little Atler birds were hopping from branch to branch, whistling away merrily with not a care in the world, making Zelda wish that she too were a bird right now.
"It would be so much easier to be a bird," she seemed to say out of nowhere. "Not one thing to worry about, all you would need is to sing and hunt for worms, fly…" Her voice had gone soft again and her eyes misty. Link watched the birds too and thought on what she had said.
"But there are dangers to being a bird just as there are being Hylian. A bird must watch out for snakes and other predators, they're constantly on the lookout. Atler birds for example migrate a thousand miles to reach breeding grounds here. Imagine all the dangers that could happen on that journey?" By the look Link saw on Zelda's face he could tell that she did not approve of his answer.
"You're too logical, Link," Zelda shook her head and placed a long willowy hand on the frame of the window. She closed her eyes for a long time and she and Link sat in silence until she opened them again and turned to him.
"You've heard, about Ganondorf then, I assume?" She said.
"Aye, I have," Link nodded grimly. "Though I'm not sure what to make of it."
"Neither am I, and we cannot keep him locked up in the western keep forever. People are beginning to talk." She sat down next to him and folded her trembling hands in her lap. She tried to control the nervous shake, but in the end had to twine her fingers in her dress to stop them. "They know he's here, or at least that is what wild rumor is being spread. What does it matter? It's the truth and the people are afraid. Frightened people can be dangerous, and we are not prepared to deal with such a thing. The Temple of Time is in ruins, Kakariko fairs little better still," she trailed off to take another deep, calming breath, "and we are without a King. The whole country is turned upside down, Link."
She looked at him for reassurance, knowing it was much to ask of him at this time, but she needed it. She needed his strength. Link took her hand in his undamaged left one and curled his fingers around it. His hand was so large and masculine next to hers, rough to the touch and well worked.
"But they have a queen, and a brilliant one," he said simply, squeezing her hand now. "One who knows her mind and her heart, and will do her country proud."
The words touched her more deeply than any had in some time and she loved him for it. She loved everything about him in fact, so why wasn't she in love with him?
Because he's not Ciaràn, she told herself.
"Is Ganondorf awake?" Link asked, pulling Zelda back from the brink of painful memories.
" I've heard he's awake now, but still weak. He's spoken to Ruto, and she says that he's confused, something isn't right…She says he seems to only have vague understandings of her questions. She and Saria think that perhaps my telepathic abilities will do some good…Darunia and Captain Viscen think that we should execute him right away---."
"You haven't seen him then?" Surprise shot through Link as he sat in wonder.
"No," Zelda said at length with another tired sigh. "I…I have not wanted to, not until my father had been laid properly to rest."
"And now that he has?"
"I don't know," franticly searching for excuses to hide behind Zelda shook her head. "I never expected becoming queen so soon."
"But queen you are."
At that Zelda turned her head to stare at him and found him trying to read her with his patient hero's eyes.
"Stop that," she said irately. Link smiled craftily, or at least tried to because the cut in his upper lip still stung.
"Stop what?" He asked innocently.
"Staring at me like that, reading me. It's not fair."
"Why is it not fair?"
He was antagonizing her on purpose, she realized, to try and get her to face her fears, but even then something snapped inside her. She pushed off from the wall and paced to the center of the room.
"Because…because…I've been, my father has…Impa…and, and…" As tears burned in her eyes again her voice began to shake and lose its regal elegance. A hand flew to her chest and she laid it against the racing pulse of her heart. The simple dress she wore, unfit for a queen Link noted, swirled around her ankles as she frantically paced back and forth across the floor. A curious tattered rag slipped out from beneath the neckline and caught Link's attention as it continued to work it's way up until it was swinging freely about Zelda's neck.
"Ganondorf is in the castle, here, and I've been left alone and…and you," Zelda's blue eyes unfocused and locked onto Link's. "Why weren't you there? Why didn't you protect him?! Why wasn't I there?"
Her father, Link knew as he watched Zelda become washed away in a wave of grief and guilt that he too shared. He stood and went to her, gripping her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.
"Stop that!" He ordered, giving her a small shake. "We did everything we could! Damn if I don't feel the loss of your father too, but damned I'll be if I let you go on with this."
Zelda struggled in his grip, and tore away from him.
"Don't touch me!" She spat. "You cannot tell me what to do!"
Link bit back his temper and backed away, holding his hands up in surrender.
"Okay, okay, I didn't come here to fight," he sighed. "Just calm down." Walking to the grand table in the center of the hall, Link pulled out a chair for her. "Now come on, we'll sit and talk. It's obvious it needs to be done."
The fire died in Zelda's eyes and she took the seat while Link took the one across from her. The tension was beginning to ease out of both of them, which relieved Link greatly because the energy to fight was just not in him today. He had had enough of fighting to last him a lifetime. Zelda opened her mouth to apologize, but Link raised a hand before she could speak.
"No, Zel, don't do that, we're both a little on edge right now," sighing, he attempted to find a comfortable position in his chair where the throb in his ribs wouldn't be so great.
"Isn't it funny the way we…" Zelda began with a coy smile.
"Know what the other is thinking and can…"
"Finish each other's sentences."
Link's frown melted away into a smile now too.
"When you've known someone for so long, you become a part of one another, I guess," he said.
Link glanced down, saw the faint glow of the Triforce mark on the back of his hand and looked to see it on Zelda's as well. Their eyes met and slowly their arms extended toward one another until their hands met and fingers entwined. The flow of energy moved freely from one Holder to another through the touching palms and Courage and Wisdom felt united for one small moment until their hands slowly let go and rested on the table.
"He doesn't have it, does he? That's what you've called me here about, isn't it?" Link had felt what weighted Zelda so heavily down while they were joined, and he could feel the hair raising on the back of his neck.
Zelda shook her head and clamped her eyes tightly shut, thinking somehow if she did not say the words aloud that it would not be true. Link was silent for a long time and the birds continued to sing their merry song outside. Link watched as one flew in through the window and perched itself on the high back of the throne where it hopped back and forth curiously chirping and looking at the aged, stained wood before darting back out into the open air.
"Are you sure? You said you haven't seen him yet and…" Link said at length, his voice all but sucked completely from him. What Zelda was telling him was not registering with his mind.
"Don't you think I can tell when the Triforce of Power is missing?" Zelda snapped. "I don't need to see him to feel this," raising her hand Link once again took note of the glowing emblem there, glowing below long, elegant fingers.
"But how can that be then? Where would it have gone? Back into the Sacred Realm with that, that thing?" Link tried to control the unsteadiness in his voice though it was very near pointless.
"I don't know Link! I don't know!" shouting, Zelda pushed back from the table and stood again. "I'm the Seventh Sage, I'm supposed to know everything and I don't! I don't know at all! The Princess of Destiny is no more than a joke!" Zelda reached up and fisted one hand in her golden hair and pressed the heel of the other against her forehead and fought back the scream that wanted so badly to erupt. Link was up in a flash despite the sharp jab of pain that lanced through his side from the battle wound where Ganondorf's sword had come too close, and this time did not touch her, just stood with arms partially opened, ready to hold her if she would let him.
"Zel, Zel, stop it! Stop that! I'm not going to let you wallow in your own self-misery! I understand that you've just lost your father, but you have responsibilities to pay attention to! You are the Seventh Sage and the Queen of Hyrule now; the people need your strength. You know that you can count on me for anything, and I'll be here to help you in any way you want, but I can't until you stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault!"
When he spoke so sharply it startled her, and she stared at him.
"Don't you dare presume you understand what I feel like right now!" She seethed.
Link did not bother to reign in his temper this time and his eyes narrowed coldly. Zelda immediately realized what she'd done and said but it was too late to take back now.
"I think you forget, Your Majesty, that you are not the only one here who's lost a parent! I've lost both without even a chance to know them! Think on that!" Link yelled and continued to state at her coldly while Zelda's heart did a summersault in her chest under his gaze.
"Please, Link, I did not mean that. I'm sorry." She took his hand in one of hers and cupped his face with the other, taking care not to disturb any of the bandages there, and looked him straight in the eyes. "Forgive me, I did not think of what I said."
The cold fire in Link's eyes extinguished and his shoulders slouched slightly in weariness.
My poor Hero, Zelda thought as she looked upon him with sorrow. It is because of me also that you have lived your life as you have. I'm to blame for that too.
"Come on," Link's voice was gruff and full of raw emotions that hid under the surface. He still had Zelda's hand as he began to pull her along toward the doors of the hall.
"Where are we going?" She asked, stopping in mid-step and did not allow herself to be pulled one foot more.
"We need to get answers, we're going to see the monster locked up in the western keep."
"I think not," Zelda said quickly. "I will do no such thing."
Link turned and faced her again, lips drawn thin and frowning, his eyes analyzing. Zelda did not like it.
"Fine then," he said slowly and calmly. "You do what you need to. I'm going to see Ganondorf." And with that he turned and walked briskly from the hall, not once turning back to look at her.
Zelda stood alone in the middle of the empty hall and stared after him. Nerves suddenly danced into her stomach again at the thought of setting foot in the presence of Ganondorf, and she tried to push them back down.
He's won, she thought suddenly and exasperatedly of Link, and with an infuriated growl she followed him out.