Disclaimer: Haldir and Drizzt are property of their respective authors. In
other words, no matter how much I love them, feed them, and put clothes on
their backs they are not mine.
Okay, so I got no feed back, so I figure I'll see if I get the public more to feedback upon I will have greater success. Ch II: 0315-0400
"We all live in a yellow submarine," Drizzt sang drunkenly, pouring another cup of coffee.
"Caffeine is not his friend," Haldir said, swatting Drizzt's hand away from the coffee pot and topping off his own and Sylvan's cup.
"Agreed. Now, chapter thirteen section three: gems."
"How many more?"
"How many more what?"
"Chapters?"
"14-17, 20-23. That makes it eight more chapters." Haldir groaned.
"I'm gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie," he complained. Drizzt grabbed the coffee pot and drained its contents, then stole Sylvan's cup and swapped it with his own, drinking all of her coffee as well.
"You are? Can I come to the funeral?" Drizzt asked, stopping mid sip. Sylvan calmly got up, picked up a pillow, and began to beat the Drow over the head with it.
"So-ber-up-you-sil-ly-drow!" she said, hitting him with each syllable. Drizzt just looked up at her and smiled.
"Why are you hitting me?" he asked. Sylvan glared then looked to Haldir.
"What are we going to do with him?" she asked. Haldir shrugged then jolted upright.
"I think I am about to be brilliant!" he said.
"Isn't that impossible for a blonde?" Sylvan asked.
"Shut up. I'll have you know I was a brilliant military leader in my time. Now, I think I am about to be brilliant."
" 'Your time' being the key words there. Okay, now, how are you going to be brilliant?"
"I have a brilliant idea to get Drizzt to sober up! And it might just be efficacious! Nice vocabulary word, don't you think?"
"Rather long. But anyway, you said you're going to be brilliant. So spill it!" Sylvan said, growing annoyed. Haldir flinched and hid behind the laptop, which he was using to quiz the only female in the room.
"You know how people say when someone gets drunk you give them strong black coffee?"
"Yes.and?"
"Well he got drunk on strong black coffee, right?"
"Yes."
"So if we give him alcohol."
"Then he will sober up!" Sylvan clapped. "Yay, brilliant idea. Despite your blondeness. No, I don't think that 'blondeness' is a word." She pulled up Drizzt and threw him at Haldir. "Come, we must go to the kitchen." Sylvan then left the room. Haldir rose, grabbing Drizzt's wrist and following Sylvan. Once in the kitchen Haldir forced Drizzt down into a chair.
"Coffee?" Drizzt asked.
"NO!" Haldir and Sylvan said concomitantly (and together, too!). Drizzt whimpered before getting hit over the head again with a pillow thanks to Sylvan. Haldir went to the smaller refrigerator and Sylvan climbed onto the counter, looking through the cabinets. She found a large bottle of peppermint schnapps and jumped down to the ground.
"I found schnapps," she said, putting the bottle on the table. Haldir pulled two bottles out of the little refrigerator.
"And I found some bock." For a moment Sylvan and Haldir looked at each other.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sylvan asked.
"Well if you are thinking that what I'm thinking is what I think you're thinking I'm thinking then we're thinking the same thoughts," Haldir replied. Sylvan sorted through Haldir's sentence then smiled. Poor Drizzt was trying to figure out if Haldir's sentence worked out algebraically but wound up with X=2(4/3y)(9b+5)+88%, and he knew that could not be correct. Giving up, Drizzt curled up into a ball in his chair and began to sing Yellow Submarine. Haldir and Sylvan looked at each other, grinning.
"Suicide!" they yelled simultaneously (and at the same time, too!), thus popping Drizzt's happy bubble. Sylvan went to get three glasses from the cabinets, one particularly large one for the drunken Drow and two that were half the size of the large one for herself and Haldir. In the mean time, Haldir was busy playing with the new fangled can opener that also happened to open bottles. Sylvan put the glasses on the table then went over to help Haldir. After opening the bottles they went to sit at the table in chairs on either side of Drizzt.
"So. What should the ratio be?" Haldir asked, giving Drizzt the bottle caps to play with.
"2-1, bock-schnapps, should be good. We don't want the peppermint to be too overpowering."
"Sounds good to me." Haldir looked at Drizzt, suddenly jumping up. "Oh, for the love of my pointed ears! Drizzt, get the Allfather forsaken bottle caps out of your mouth!" He pinned Drizzt to the back of the chair and pried his mouth open. Sylvan then got the bottle caps out of Drizzt's mouth before he decided that they would be a swell midnight.erm.0dark30 snack. Afterwards Haldir threw away the bottle caps and the two sober members of the party sat back down.
"Now, to pour," Sylvan sighed. She opened the rather large bottle of schnapps and poured her own and Haldir's glasses first before emptying the last of the bottle into Drizzt's glass. "And I am brilliant. A perfect third for each glass."
"Bravo. Now we know why you are passing algebra," Haldir said. He then topped of the glasses with amber bock.
"Oooh.pretty fizz," Drizzt said, poking the head.
"Stop that!" Sylvan scolded, whapping Drizzt with a pillow once again.
"Hey, Sylvan, where do you keep getting that pillow from?" Haldir asked. Sylvan just shrugged.
"Let's just blame it on quantum physics." Drizzt made a poking motion and little waves appeared in the air.
"The atoms are moving due to the waves of his existence.that we really can blame on quantum physics!" Haldir said, then wondered where he came up with such information. Sylvan whapped Drizzt again for the fun of it then lifted her glass.
"To excess," she said.
"To excess," Haldir said, raising his own glass. Drizzt sniffed his drink.
"Am I supposed to drink this?" he asked, thus ruining the moment.
"Yes, Drizzt angel, you're supposed to drink it." Suddenly, and with rather frightening ease, Sylvan assumed the tone of voice that kindergarten teachers use when placating a five-year-old. It seemed to work on the Drow because he picked up his glass and began to slurp it.
"You did that entirely too easily," Haldir commented. Sylvan shuddered.
"I know, scary wasn't it?"
"Here, here!" Drizzt started to talk to his drink, drawing a stare from the blonde and the human. Sylvan looked at Haldir and Haldir looked back at Sylvan. They both shrugged then started on their own drinks.
"Ok.this is good," Haldir said. Sylvan downed half her drink.
"I agree. Despite the fact that I am seven years under aged."
"That's not too much. Elven time scale I mean."
"But does it work out algebraically?" Drizzt asked, becoming more sober. All in all, by the time they had finished their drinks (which, strangely enough, got Drizzt sober once more) it was 0400.
As I said in the beginning- please feedback! *adorable puppy face* Haldir: Sylvan, you look like a frog Sylvan: Drizzt: How come I can't do that? Sylvan: Shut up all of you. Both Elves: Yes, Sylvan.
Okay, so I got no feed back, so I figure I'll see if I get the public more to feedback upon I will have greater success. Ch II: 0315-0400
"We all live in a yellow submarine," Drizzt sang drunkenly, pouring another cup of coffee.
"Caffeine is not his friend," Haldir said, swatting Drizzt's hand away from the coffee pot and topping off his own and Sylvan's cup.
"Agreed. Now, chapter thirteen section three: gems."
"How many more?"
"How many more what?"
"Chapters?"
"14-17, 20-23. That makes it eight more chapters." Haldir groaned.
"I'm gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie," he complained. Drizzt grabbed the coffee pot and drained its contents, then stole Sylvan's cup and swapped it with his own, drinking all of her coffee as well.
"You are? Can I come to the funeral?" Drizzt asked, stopping mid sip. Sylvan calmly got up, picked up a pillow, and began to beat the Drow over the head with it.
"So-ber-up-you-sil-ly-drow!" she said, hitting him with each syllable. Drizzt just looked up at her and smiled.
"Why are you hitting me?" he asked. Sylvan glared then looked to Haldir.
"What are we going to do with him?" she asked. Haldir shrugged then jolted upright.
"I think I am about to be brilliant!" he said.
"Isn't that impossible for a blonde?" Sylvan asked.
"Shut up. I'll have you know I was a brilliant military leader in my time. Now, I think I am about to be brilliant."
" 'Your time' being the key words there. Okay, now, how are you going to be brilliant?"
"I have a brilliant idea to get Drizzt to sober up! And it might just be efficacious! Nice vocabulary word, don't you think?"
"Rather long. But anyway, you said you're going to be brilliant. So spill it!" Sylvan said, growing annoyed. Haldir flinched and hid behind the laptop, which he was using to quiz the only female in the room.
"You know how people say when someone gets drunk you give them strong black coffee?"
"Yes.and?"
"Well he got drunk on strong black coffee, right?"
"Yes."
"So if we give him alcohol."
"Then he will sober up!" Sylvan clapped. "Yay, brilliant idea. Despite your blondeness. No, I don't think that 'blondeness' is a word." She pulled up Drizzt and threw him at Haldir. "Come, we must go to the kitchen." Sylvan then left the room. Haldir rose, grabbing Drizzt's wrist and following Sylvan. Once in the kitchen Haldir forced Drizzt down into a chair.
"Coffee?" Drizzt asked.
"NO!" Haldir and Sylvan said concomitantly (and together, too!). Drizzt whimpered before getting hit over the head again with a pillow thanks to Sylvan. Haldir went to the smaller refrigerator and Sylvan climbed onto the counter, looking through the cabinets. She found a large bottle of peppermint schnapps and jumped down to the ground.
"I found schnapps," she said, putting the bottle on the table. Haldir pulled two bottles out of the little refrigerator.
"And I found some bock." For a moment Sylvan and Haldir looked at each other.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sylvan asked.
"Well if you are thinking that what I'm thinking is what I think you're thinking I'm thinking then we're thinking the same thoughts," Haldir replied. Sylvan sorted through Haldir's sentence then smiled. Poor Drizzt was trying to figure out if Haldir's sentence worked out algebraically but wound up with X=2(4/3y)(9b+5)+88%, and he knew that could not be correct. Giving up, Drizzt curled up into a ball in his chair and began to sing Yellow Submarine. Haldir and Sylvan looked at each other, grinning.
"Suicide!" they yelled simultaneously (and at the same time, too!), thus popping Drizzt's happy bubble. Sylvan went to get three glasses from the cabinets, one particularly large one for the drunken Drow and two that were half the size of the large one for herself and Haldir. In the mean time, Haldir was busy playing with the new fangled can opener that also happened to open bottles. Sylvan put the glasses on the table then went over to help Haldir. After opening the bottles they went to sit at the table in chairs on either side of Drizzt.
"So. What should the ratio be?" Haldir asked, giving Drizzt the bottle caps to play with.
"2-1, bock-schnapps, should be good. We don't want the peppermint to be too overpowering."
"Sounds good to me." Haldir looked at Drizzt, suddenly jumping up. "Oh, for the love of my pointed ears! Drizzt, get the Allfather forsaken bottle caps out of your mouth!" He pinned Drizzt to the back of the chair and pried his mouth open. Sylvan then got the bottle caps out of Drizzt's mouth before he decided that they would be a swell midnight.erm.0dark30 snack. Afterwards Haldir threw away the bottle caps and the two sober members of the party sat back down.
"Now, to pour," Sylvan sighed. She opened the rather large bottle of schnapps and poured her own and Haldir's glasses first before emptying the last of the bottle into Drizzt's glass. "And I am brilliant. A perfect third for each glass."
"Bravo. Now we know why you are passing algebra," Haldir said. He then topped of the glasses with amber bock.
"Oooh.pretty fizz," Drizzt said, poking the head.
"Stop that!" Sylvan scolded, whapping Drizzt with a pillow once again.
"Hey, Sylvan, where do you keep getting that pillow from?" Haldir asked. Sylvan just shrugged.
"Let's just blame it on quantum physics." Drizzt made a poking motion and little waves appeared in the air.
"The atoms are moving due to the waves of his existence.that we really can blame on quantum physics!" Haldir said, then wondered where he came up with such information. Sylvan whapped Drizzt again for the fun of it then lifted her glass.
"To excess," she said.
"To excess," Haldir said, raising his own glass. Drizzt sniffed his drink.
"Am I supposed to drink this?" he asked, thus ruining the moment.
"Yes, Drizzt angel, you're supposed to drink it." Suddenly, and with rather frightening ease, Sylvan assumed the tone of voice that kindergarten teachers use when placating a five-year-old. It seemed to work on the Drow because he picked up his glass and began to slurp it.
"You did that entirely too easily," Haldir commented. Sylvan shuddered.
"I know, scary wasn't it?"
"Here, here!" Drizzt started to talk to his drink, drawing a stare from the blonde and the human. Sylvan looked at Haldir and Haldir looked back at Sylvan. They both shrugged then started on their own drinks.
"Ok.this is good," Haldir said. Sylvan downed half her drink.
"I agree. Despite the fact that I am seven years under aged."
"That's not too much. Elven time scale I mean."
"But does it work out algebraically?" Drizzt asked, becoming more sober. All in all, by the time they had finished their drinks (which, strangely enough, got Drizzt sober once more) it was 0400.
As I said in the beginning- please feedback! *adorable puppy face* Haldir: Sylvan, you look like a frog Sylvan: Drizzt: How come I can't do that? Sylvan: Shut up all of you. Both Elves: Yes, Sylvan.