Disclaimer: too lazy to write it all out. Use common sense...if I do not
own them they are not mine
Thankies! I got 3 reviews but I have a strange suspicion that two were
from the same person...odd, right? I thought so. Anyways...
Writer From Rivendell: I know, right? Oh well, at least I have FOUR
reviews now...yay :) I agree, it is strange, but that's just me...I'm
a strange individual. Thankies for your sincerity about my
writing...I'm currently working on another fic...which I might just
have the first chapter written to soon I hope. So, hope you
enjoy!
loz h da orli lover: You love me, you really love me! Glad to know
some one else has the same strange sense of humour I have... :)
Elendrila: thank you much.
And I assure you all....though my 1st fic is almost finished...I am
not done with my insanity...YET! *laughs manically*
CH V: 0440-0459
"Okay. What chapter are we on?" Drizzt asked. They had not done a chapter in the past ten minutes, but due to Haldir's ordeal with the lye soap he could not remember where they were.
"Chapter 21 I think," Sylvan said.
"Yeah, that sounds right," Haldir said. He rolled over, becoming more comfortable on Sylvan's bed than what would be considered normal. Sylvan jumped over onto Drizzt's bed, accidentally landing a foot in his stomach, and pulled up the Chapter 21 study guide. Drizzt began to cough.
"Oops...sorry, Drizzt angel. Quiz me," Sylvan said.
"S'ok," Drizzt said. He began to ask his question when Haldir interrupted, holding a stick of incense.
"What's this, Sylvan?" he asked, sniffing it. "I've never smelled this kind before." Sylvan jumped over onto her bed. She then proceeded to sniff the incense.
"Mmmm.opium incense. I can burn it if you'd like. It smells really good and may help me study."
"Well, if it's okay?"
"Please, Sylvan. I've never smelled opium incense before. I've smelled the dragon's blood and patchouli flower, but never opium. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Drizzt asked, bouncing up and down on his bed. He quit bouncing since hitting his head on the bottom of Haldir's bed was particularly painful.
"Okay, okay, okay," Sylvan said. She put the stick in the burner then lit it, waiting for the tip of the incense to glow before blowing out the fire. "There. Now it will start to smell really good in here after a few minutes."
Three minutes, or two and a half questions later, Drizzt noticed the blank look on Haldir's face. He paused, mid question, and motioned for Sylvan to look at Haldir.
"Oh. No," she said, getting up and going to sit on the bed beside Haldir. "Haldir? Are you okay?"
"What do you mean, am I okay? Of course I'm okay. Why is Drizzt's head dissolving up into the air?"
"What?" Drizzt asked, touching his head to make sure it was all still there. Sylvan hit her head on the wall.
"No. This is not cool. Not cool in the least," she said. She pinched the ember from the incense, putting it out. "Ouch! Owie owie owie. Note to self: incense is hot when burning (and Haldir is supposed to be the blonde here)."
"What isn't cool?" Drizzt asked. He felt better now, knowing that all of his anatomy was still in place.
"He's baked," Sylvan moaned.
"Sylvan, why do you have three eyes?" Haldir asked, smiling. Sylvan got a pillow.
"Un-stone-your-self-you-sil-ly-blonde!" she said, hitting Haldir over the head with the pillow with every syllable (looks familiar, doesn't it?)
"What does 'baked' mean, Sylvan?" Drizzt asked.
"Okay, down in Menzo: do they have any sort of drug that makes you hallucinate?"
"Yes..." Drizzt replied slowly, wondering where this was headed.
"Okay. Well, here on Terra we have these things called hallucinogenics. And opium is a type of hallucinogenic."
"So you're incense is made of opium?" Drizzt asked. Haldir had a serene, happy look on his face. He then jolted upright and grabbed for a bow that wasn't there, drawing invisible arrows from an invisible quiver and shooting at things and ducking oncoming things.
"Orcs! Where in the name of the Allfather are my brothers? Orophin and Rumil are so going to get it when I get done with them..." Haldir said, still shooting nonexistent arrows.
"No, not made of opium, but it apparently smells so much like opium, and the fact that he has Elven senses does not help, it is getting him stoned. Well, 'has gotten' really."
"Stoned?" Drizzt asked.
"Yeah. Same thing as baked," Sylvan explained.
"Baked?"
"It's making him hallucinate, okay?" Sylvan said, becoming frustrated.
"Okay, okay. Unfrustrate thyself. No, that's not a word and don't ask me why I said 'thyself'. So, what do we do and why is this not affecting me?" Drizzt asked. Haldir looked at Drizzt and screamed, looking frantically for more arrows.
"Drow, Drow, evil. Evilevilevil," Haldir paused, a looked of wonderment on his face. "Hey, he's melting." Sylvan absently pushed Haldir back onto the bed and he started to giggle for no particular reason.
"I guess it's not affecting you because you're a Drow. Must be some sort of natural immunity to hallucinogenics," Sylvan said. "Anyway, you're the one from old Menzo. You tell me what to do." Drizzt got up, hitting his head on the bunk bed, then went to the closet and got out an old pack of his. He pulled out a large black book with weird runes on it. "What is that?"
"Drow medicine book. Includes poisons and their antidotes. I'll see what I can do," Drizzt said, flipping to the index. "How is 'opium' spelled?"
"O-p-i-u-m," Sylvan said. Drizzt translated it in his head.
"Hey! That exists!" the Drow said. He flipped to the page opium was on and looked at the antidote. "Apparently, for each milligram consumed, the victim drinks one teaspoon of cough syrup."
"Gross. And poor Halsie.after me washing his mouth out with soap five minutes ago." Sylvan cradled Haldir, who had curled up into a ball and was whimpering something about little spider-Elves (not Driders because they were made from surface Elves) trying to eat him. "I feel so guilty," she said.
"Yes, but we are curing him of his bakedness, erm, stonage, I mean...we're making him quit hallucinating. Besides, he's going on about Driders now so we had better hurry before he sees Lolth herself."
"He is not seeing Driders," Sylvan said matter-of-factly, dropping Haldir to cross her arms over her chest.
"How do you know that? Half Drow, half spider. A Drider."
"Yes, but he's seeing surface Elves mixed with spiders. So they can't be Driders (besides, didn't he see the parentheses up there?). " Sylvan then began converting minutes of inhaled smoke to milligrams as Drizzt went to get some cough syrup from the medicine cabinet.
"Scary spider things. Oh, great, now Rumil and Orophin come. Just in time to see me freak out over the scary spider things that want to eat me for their lunch." Drizzt had by then returned with the medicine.
"It's cherry flavoured and is supposed to help you sleep, but I think it will pretty much serve the purpose," he said. Sylvan sat on her knees on Haldir's legs, thus causing him to whimper and reach for a nonexistent knife.
"Halsie, can you hear me?" Once again, and with just as frightening ease, Sylvan assumed her kindergarten teacher voice.
"Scary brown-haired lady. Has sharp teeth and bulgy eyes. Please don't eat me scary brown-haired lady."
"I'm not going to eat you," Sylvan assured. "I'm here to help you. Do you want all the scary things to go away?"
"Uh-huh," Haldir whimpered.
"Okay. Hold on a second," she said, grabbing the bottle from Drizzt. "Gross! He has to drink the whole thing, by my reckoning!" Sylvan then got off of Haldir's legs and, with Drizzt's help, pulled the Marchwarden into a sitting position. Drizzt opened the bottle and handed it to Sylvan.
"Drow!" Haldir screeched, seeing Drizzt again. He threw his hands over his head, trying to hide.
"Haldir," Sylvan said, going back to her kindergarten voice. "If you drink this the evil Drow will go away, as well as all the scary things."
"Including the scary spider-Elf things that want to eat me?"
"Yes. Including the scary spider-Elf things that want to eat you," Sylvan promised. Haldir reached for the bottle of cough syrup.
"I'm telling you, those things are Driders," Drizzt said.
"We'll just see about that," Sylvan said, suddenly pulling the bottle out of Haldir's reach and capping it. "Halsie, tell me what type of Elves the spider-Elf things are made of."
"Normal Elves from where I come from," Haldir answered, reaching again for the bottle, which Sylvan opened and gave to him.
"Told you so," Sylvan said haughtily. Haldir chugged all of the cough syrup by the time Sylvan's father had gotten up for work.
"Oh shazbot. That's my Dad. Come on, help me get Haldir into his bed. We have to pretend we are asleep!" Sylvan whispered urgently. Drizzt lifted Haldir and threw him unceremoniously on the top bunk. Sylvan shut down the laptop and put it back on her desk, then turned out the light and got back into bed. Her Dad came into the room, whispered something Sylvan didn't understand, then left the room. Too tired to get back up, Sylvan decided to go back to sleep.
I had fun writing that. Getting Haldir high is just entirely too much fun. Must remember to do that in a later fic. Anyways, you all know the best way to make me happy... REVIEW!
Thankies! I got 3 reviews but I have a strange suspicion that two were
from the same person...odd, right? I thought so. Anyways...
Writer From Rivendell: I know, right? Oh well, at least I have FOUR
reviews now...yay :) I agree, it is strange, but that's just me...I'm
a strange individual. Thankies for your sincerity about my
writing...I'm currently working on another fic...which I might just
have the first chapter written to soon I hope. So, hope you
enjoy!
loz h da orli lover: You love me, you really love me! Glad to know
some one else has the same strange sense of humour I have... :)
Elendrila: thank you much.
And I assure you all....though my 1st fic is almost finished...I am
not done with my insanity...YET! *laughs manically*
CH V: 0440-0459
"Okay. What chapter are we on?" Drizzt asked. They had not done a chapter in the past ten minutes, but due to Haldir's ordeal with the lye soap he could not remember where they were.
"Chapter 21 I think," Sylvan said.
"Yeah, that sounds right," Haldir said. He rolled over, becoming more comfortable on Sylvan's bed than what would be considered normal. Sylvan jumped over onto Drizzt's bed, accidentally landing a foot in his stomach, and pulled up the Chapter 21 study guide. Drizzt began to cough.
"Oops...sorry, Drizzt angel. Quiz me," Sylvan said.
"S'ok," Drizzt said. He began to ask his question when Haldir interrupted, holding a stick of incense.
"What's this, Sylvan?" he asked, sniffing it. "I've never smelled this kind before." Sylvan jumped over onto her bed. She then proceeded to sniff the incense.
"Mmmm.opium incense. I can burn it if you'd like. It smells really good and may help me study."
"Well, if it's okay?"
"Please, Sylvan. I've never smelled opium incense before. I've smelled the dragon's blood and patchouli flower, but never opium. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Drizzt asked, bouncing up and down on his bed. He quit bouncing since hitting his head on the bottom of Haldir's bed was particularly painful.
"Okay, okay, okay," Sylvan said. She put the stick in the burner then lit it, waiting for the tip of the incense to glow before blowing out the fire. "There. Now it will start to smell really good in here after a few minutes."
Three minutes, or two and a half questions later, Drizzt noticed the blank look on Haldir's face. He paused, mid question, and motioned for Sylvan to look at Haldir.
"Oh. No," she said, getting up and going to sit on the bed beside Haldir. "Haldir? Are you okay?"
"What do you mean, am I okay? Of course I'm okay. Why is Drizzt's head dissolving up into the air?"
"What?" Drizzt asked, touching his head to make sure it was all still there. Sylvan hit her head on the wall.
"No. This is not cool. Not cool in the least," she said. She pinched the ember from the incense, putting it out. "Ouch! Owie owie owie. Note to self: incense is hot when burning (and Haldir is supposed to be the blonde here)."
"What isn't cool?" Drizzt asked. He felt better now, knowing that all of his anatomy was still in place.
"He's baked," Sylvan moaned.
"Sylvan, why do you have three eyes?" Haldir asked, smiling. Sylvan got a pillow.
"Un-stone-your-self-you-sil-ly-blonde!" she said, hitting Haldir over the head with the pillow with every syllable (looks familiar, doesn't it?)
"What does 'baked' mean, Sylvan?" Drizzt asked.
"Okay, down in Menzo: do they have any sort of drug that makes you hallucinate?"
"Yes..." Drizzt replied slowly, wondering where this was headed.
"Okay. Well, here on Terra we have these things called hallucinogenics. And opium is a type of hallucinogenic."
"So you're incense is made of opium?" Drizzt asked. Haldir had a serene, happy look on his face. He then jolted upright and grabbed for a bow that wasn't there, drawing invisible arrows from an invisible quiver and shooting at things and ducking oncoming things.
"Orcs! Where in the name of the Allfather are my brothers? Orophin and Rumil are so going to get it when I get done with them..." Haldir said, still shooting nonexistent arrows.
"No, not made of opium, but it apparently smells so much like opium, and the fact that he has Elven senses does not help, it is getting him stoned. Well, 'has gotten' really."
"Stoned?" Drizzt asked.
"Yeah. Same thing as baked," Sylvan explained.
"Baked?"
"It's making him hallucinate, okay?" Sylvan said, becoming frustrated.
"Okay, okay. Unfrustrate thyself. No, that's not a word and don't ask me why I said 'thyself'. So, what do we do and why is this not affecting me?" Drizzt asked. Haldir looked at Drizzt and screamed, looking frantically for more arrows.
"Drow, Drow, evil. Evilevilevil," Haldir paused, a looked of wonderment on his face. "Hey, he's melting." Sylvan absently pushed Haldir back onto the bed and he started to giggle for no particular reason.
"I guess it's not affecting you because you're a Drow. Must be some sort of natural immunity to hallucinogenics," Sylvan said. "Anyway, you're the one from old Menzo. You tell me what to do." Drizzt got up, hitting his head on the bunk bed, then went to the closet and got out an old pack of his. He pulled out a large black book with weird runes on it. "What is that?"
"Drow medicine book. Includes poisons and their antidotes. I'll see what I can do," Drizzt said, flipping to the index. "How is 'opium' spelled?"
"O-p-i-u-m," Sylvan said. Drizzt translated it in his head.
"Hey! That exists!" the Drow said. He flipped to the page opium was on and looked at the antidote. "Apparently, for each milligram consumed, the victim drinks one teaspoon of cough syrup."
"Gross. And poor Halsie.after me washing his mouth out with soap five minutes ago." Sylvan cradled Haldir, who had curled up into a ball and was whimpering something about little spider-Elves (not Driders because they were made from surface Elves) trying to eat him. "I feel so guilty," she said.
"Yes, but we are curing him of his bakedness, erm, stonage, I mean...we're making him quit hallucinating. Besides, he's going on about Driders now so we had better hurry before he sees Lolth herself."
"He is not seeing Driders," Sylvan said matter-of-factly, dropping Haldir to cross her arms over her chest.
"How do you know that? Half Drow, half spider. A Drider."
"Yes, but he's seeing surface Elves mixed with spiders. So they can't be Driders (besides, didn't he see the parentheses up there?). " Sylvan then began converting minutes of inhaled smoke to milligrams as Drizzt went to get some cough syrup from the medicine cabinet.
"Scary spider things. Oh, great, now Rumil and Orophin come. Just in time to see me freak out over the scary spider things that want to eat me for their lunch." Drizzt had by then returned with the medicine.
"It's cherry flavoured and is supposed to help you sleep, but I think it will pretty much serve the purpose," he said. Sylvan sat on her knees on Haldir's legs, thus causing him to whimper and reach for a nonexistent knife.
"Halsie, can you hear me?" Once again, and with just as frightening ease, Sylvan assumed her kindergarten teacher voice.
"Scary brown-haired lady. Has sharp teeth and bulgy eyes. Please don't eat me scary brown-haired lady."
"I'm not going to eat you," Sylvan assured. "I'm here to help you. Do you want all the scary things to go away?"
"Uh-huh," Haldir whimpered.
"Okay. Hold on a second," she said, grabbing the bottle from Drizzt. "Gross! He has to drink the whole thing, by my reckoning!" Sylvan then got off of Haldir's legs and, with Drizzt's help, pulled the Marchwarden into a sitting position. Drizzt opened the bottle and handed it to Sylvan.
"Drow!" Haldir screeched, seeing Drizzt again. He threw his hands over his head, trying to hide.
"Haldir," Sylvan said, going back to her kindergarten voice. "If you drink this the evil Drow will go away, as well as all the scary things."
"Including the scary spider-Elf things that want to eat me?"
"Yes. Including the scary spider-Elf things that want to eat you," Sylvan promised. Haldir reached for the bottle of cough syrup.
"I'm telling you, those things are Driders," Drizzt said.
"We'll just see about that," Sylvan said, suddenly pulling the bottle out of Haldir's reach and capping it. "Halsie, tell me what type of Elves the spider-Elf things are made of."
"Normal Elves from where I come from," Haldir answered, reaching again for the bottle, which Sylvan opened and gave to him.
"Told you so," Sylvan said haughtily. Haldir chugged all of the cough syrup by the time Sylvan's father had gotten up for work.
"Oh shazbot. That's my Dad. Come on, help me get Haldir into his bed. We have to pretend we are asleep!" Sylvan whispered urgently. Drizzt lifted Haldir and threw him unceremoniously on the top bunk. Sylvan shut down the laptop and put it back on her desk, then turned out the light and got back into bed. Her Dad came into the room, whispered something Sylvan didn't understand, then left the room. Too tired to get back up, Sylvan decided to go back to sleep.
I had fun writing that. Getting Haldir high is just entirely too much fun. Must remember to do that in a later fic. Anyways, you all know the best way to make me happy... REVIEW!