Title: The Attentions of a Transvestite Soldier
Author: CrystalTokyoPrincess
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Summary: Inuyasha has a bad dream...about Jakotsu! His worst fears in terms of that particular Shichinintai come true in his dreams!
Author's Notes: Spoilers for later episodes and volumes! If you haven't reached anything about the Shichinintai, go away now! And this is a pretty bad attempt at humor imbedded in drama, but Jakotsu is a hoot and a half. I couldn't NOT do something! PG-13 due to Jakotsu's nature, Inuyasha's dream, and Inuyasha's assessment.
Pairings: Subtle Kagome/Inuyasha, but otherwise, nothing. Though, Jakotsu wouldn't mind stroking our favorite hanyou's ears!

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It had been another long day running after and from the Shichinintai. Jakotsu's sword had again proven a difficult opponent even for Tetsusaiga, but of course that was understandable with the man's weapon's snakelike, switchblade nature.

And, ever since Mukotsu attempted poisoning Kagome, Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha had become doubly overprotective of Kagome. So when dinner was fixed and eaten and it was time for a good night's rest, Inuyasha headed to a spot just outside of the group. With his back against a tree, the hanyou fell into a light slumber.

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He was running. From what, he didn't know. But he didn't like it. He was running. He, Inuyasha, didn't run! Unless of course, Kagome made him...but...

He continued running. A feel of dread tugged at his heart and his gut. He was running from an unseen foe, but somehow he knew who or what the foe was. He just couldn't put a finger on the exact nature of the beast.

But then...

Blood?

Yes, blood.

Kagome? Kagome!

Kagome wasn't there.

Good, she wouldn't be in danger. But still...

There was the distinct smell of blood -- and lots of it -- drifting unpleasantly on the wind. The hanyou felt his stomach turn.

He knew who this foe was. It was that bourei freak. The man wearing the women's kimono. With all that makeup. Jakotsu.

Inuyasha flinched.

The blood nearly drowned out the bourei's stench, but it was there ever so faintly, the smell of grave soil and of Jakotsu himself.

Itself, was Inuyasha's thought. He growled.

And there was Jakotsu, kimono jauntily pinned up over one leg to reveal his knee and thigh. He was just as made up as usual.

"Kawaii! He's more cute than I ever expected."

Inuyasha shuddered and growled at the words, at the very voice.

"Oh! And the ears!" the voice grated on. "Kawaii!!"

Inuyasha bared his teeth and growled, grinding his teeth and nearly to the point of gnashing his fangs. He drew Tetsusaiga, gripped the hilt. The demon sword transformed.

The freak, Jakotsu, giggled. That annoying, feminine laugh.

Inuyasha felt the hate well up in him stronger than before. And then, Jakotsu swung his sword, the sword like a snake, knocking Tetsusaiga from his grip.

"Really now, Inuyasha. You think you can beat my sword with that Tetsusaiga of yours? Nice blade and all...it just doesn't compare," Jakotsu said, his feminine voice taking on sultry notes. "Besides, I'm not here to fight..." Inuyasha gaped at the man.

"Oh, it finally dawned on you? Good boy, now let me touch those ears..."

Inuyasha flinched and backed away as Jakotsu advanced towards him. Tetsusaiga was out of his reach. Kagome wasn't here. He was defenseless, and he couldn't transform. He didn't want to lose his heart...but he didn't want to lose his masculinity either!

"Back off!"

"Ooh. I love a man who struggles..." Jakotsu began, reaching for Inuyasha's ears, "...And these ears! Kawaii! And so soft."

Jakotsu shoved Inuyasha down onto the ground and drew his blade. "Really, I like it when my men struggle."

"I ain't your man!"

Jakotsu pouted. "Oh, but you are!"

"Am not!"

"Mmm. If only you knew..." Jakotsu reached for Inuyasha's clothes, tugging at them.

Inuyasha shuddered.

"Mmm. And you're afraid. Yum."

Shudder.

Usually, Inuyasha wouldn't think of doing this...but...WHACK. Inuyasha kneed the bourei in the nuts.

Jakotsu rolled off him, holding himself. Just then, inky black smoke -- poison! -- filled the air. Cough cough. Inuyasha lept away from the pained homosexual, transvestite soldier and grabbed for his Tetsusaiga.

Realization hit him then -- Poison?!

Kagome? Kagome!!!

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The hanyou gave a sharp intake of breath and bolted awake. He glanced around in that dazed, just awoken fog before his senses fully came back to him. He peered over in Kagome's direction. True to form, she and the rest of the group were sound asleep though Kirara chose that moment to mew-mew and roll over.

Inuyasha breathed a sigh of relief. Not taken by that poison stalker, again, though of course he was dead -- never in his life had he felt so much thanks for his older brother.

Kagome wasn't taken by that wimpy wolf either, thankfully, though the hanyou admitted regretfully that the wolf-youkai's accusations had been spot on. He had put Kagome in danger. But she was safe now. He wouldn't let any other harm come near her.

And that included not allowing that freak Jakotsu anywhere near her. Though, silently, to himself, he admitted he was more afraid of what Jakotsu might do to him rather than what Jakotsu might do to Kagome. As if that dream wasn't enough of an indicator.

After all, Jakotsu wasn't particularly interested in the women. He was more interested in bondage and violence sorts of situations, involving other men.

Shudder.

Inuyasha went back into a fitfull sleep.

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CrystalTokyoPrincess