Author's Note: Severe spoiler warning for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix inside. Don't blame me if you didn't want to find out about who dies, I've warned you. This is my first Harry Potter fanfic, so kindly keep that in mind if you review :)
Sirius Pov (going through the veil)
Gone
~*~*~*~
Gone.
One simple word.
Gone too fast for my liking.
So much I lost so quickly. I hadn't know how quickly. Until it was too late. Too late…
I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Not even the time to intake the breath for the words. No farewells. No valediction I could tell my friends, tell Moony. Tell Harry…
Nothing is left for me. I'm lost now. Lost. Forever.
Forever…?
Where am I now? I remember fighting Bellatrix, laughing at her weak curse, the flash of red light leaving me unscathed. But too fast time passed. I missed her second one. I screwed up. I've done that too often lately. I should have listened to Albus…but I couldn't stay behind…
I failed. I failed Harry. I was supposed to be there for him. To protect him. Give him the support he needed. To answer the questions he dared not ask anyone else. To be James when he needed me to be. He needed me.
And now I wasn't there for him.
I failed you, Prongs. I should have lasted longer than this. I failed everyone…
Where am I now? Am I dead? Think…
…I fell backwards, the shock of Bella's blast reeling me back. Towards…towards the veil, that rippling cloth attached to the crumbling archway. I faintly remember seeing Remus, saw him gripping Harry from rushing towards me. Harry's yelling to me. His expression. Horror. The veil covered me. I fell inside…
Inside the veil? Is that where I am now?
It's cold. Too cold…
I don't know where I am. There's nothing around me. Nothing I recognize. Just darkness enveloping me…the faint sound of whispers, coming from far away…
I wish something – someone- I knew was here. I wish James were here…
Stop, I'm being so childish. I'm not the first to die by the hands of Death Eaters. Why should I be so self-absorbed? There are oth –
The others? I had forgotten. How could I forget…? I wish I knew how they were doing. That they are all right…
I want to leave this place. I want to see them. Help them fight. But I can't…
Why can't I find a way to leave? This can't be death… I'm still alive, still breathing…I think…
No. I died in battle. It could have been worse…could have been for something less heroic than fighting against Voldemort...
…Harry. I need to find him. Find a way back to him. I can't leave him yet, I just found him. I escaped Azkaban for him, stayed in my rotting parents' house for months. I can't leave just yet…not without saying goodbye…
Goodbye. Forever. Gone. Words I never wanted to say before. To even think…But I'm…
Goodbye, Harry. Moony. Sorry I can't be there with you. I will remember you both. Remember me, please…?
I'm gone. Forever.
Gone.
Goodbye…
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A/N2: JKR has made me soooo distressed/distraught after killing off my favorite character! I cried the entire remainder of the book. I've never cried about a fictional characters death in a book before. I needed to write this, get out some pent up feelings out. Why Sirius, JKR? *storms off before she cries again*
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