~*~ Dedicated in loving memory of my friend Dave Chasse (October 2nd, 1984-June 21st , 2003) who was taken from this world too soon. A candle will forever burn inside my heart. I will always remember you 'pumpkin'. And I'll always miss you. ~*~

Disclaimer : I, in no way shape or form own any of the Inuyasha cast. If I did…*rambling turns insane and trails off*

Claimed : I created the illness Rin had. At the end of the story I will give a summary of 'Cherry Chills' and whatever else I happen to create. And should you want to use them you have my blessings since I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.

Author's Note (AN) : Konnichi wa, minnasama! I see you came back for another installment of Loves Journey. This Chap is bit dark but hey I have a valid excuse two in fact my friend who you read about on the top of this page, and I'm listened to a song that made me write Kagome the way I did. Hopefully you continue to enjoy the story. For all of you wondering yes I took Sesshoumaru out of character. I don't like him unless he is nice when he smiles I find him so very attractive. Who wouldn't?

Warning : haha fortunately this time I am not sick. WOOHOO! *Does the demon version of the cabbage-patch dance* but seriously this story is rated R if you are under 18 then please be mature. Especially this chapter has some suggestive dialogue.

Ai Tabiji – Loves Journey

By Miko Youkai

*Chapter Four*

Sesshoumaru returned from his quest for Kagome's home village, a bit pissed off. Then Kagome explained, "Sorry, Sesshoumaru I forgot to tell you that it is shielded from demons." Sesshoumaru not quite sure about her story believed her anyway.

"Where is Rin? Is she all right?" The concerned look was on his face again startling the people who had only seen him in his arrogant and cold facial expressions.

Rin came out of Kaede's hut hearing Sesshoumaru calling for her. She didn't look much different from when he left her in the care of his brother and Kagome, but she was radiant. A glow came from her when she put her arms around 'her' Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru being ecstatic that she was healthy picked up Rin and walked over to Inuyasha. Looking him straight in the eyes he stood there for a few minutes reveling in the fact that his brother had no clue what was to happen.

Kagome walked over to the two and was about to speak when Sesshoumaru placed Rin on the ground holding her hand. Finally the silence was broken, "Sesshoumaru-sama what are you doing? Pick me up again! Please." Said a wide-eyed Rin shaking his hand to get his attention on herself.

Hearing Rin but not giving her the attention she craved at the moment spoke to his brother. "Inuyasha, while I was away I had a lot of time to think about what your miko asked of me, since Rin wasn't there to talk to me all the time." Looking down he saw Rins facial expression become saddened.

"You don't like me talking to you?" she squeaked out with a pouting face.

His eyes widened, "Iie, that's not what I meant Rin. I missed your talking Rin. I missed you." The little girls' eyes began to water and she smiled more brightly Sesshoumaru had ever seen.

"Woah! Do you know how 'freaked out' I am by the way your acting?" Inuyasha blurted out. He couldn't take it anymore. He also thought he'd use the saying Kagome says when she thinks he is acting weird to her.

Sesshoumaru glanced at Inuyasha before he slowly turned his gaze to Kagome. "As I was saying, I had a lot of time to think, and if Inuyasha could care from this little girl that cares for me and I, her. Then I would like to patch up things between us, Inuyasha. I haven't been the brother to you that father would have wanted me to be." He directed that last part to Inuyasha but kept his gaze on the woman who had agreed to care for 'his' Rin while he was away and make him contemplate making peace with his half-breed half brother.

Naturally the hanyou was rude, "Feh." Kagome hit him in the arm, and they glared at each other for a moment. 'She never backs down, that is unless she thinks I'm thinking of Kikyou.' "Whatever! I mean, I wasn't that good a brother either Sesshoumaru. You are missing your left arm because of me. I would be honored if we acted truly like brothers, who don't want to kill each other."

'Boy, can he bumble things up anymore? He never says the right things. Talk first, think later. That's Inuyasha in a nutshell, but his remorse and sincerity when he realizes his mistake is genuine.' Kagome smacked her head in order to pay more attention to her companion who sounded to be complicating things. ' Hopefully, Sesshoumaru won't take what Inuyasha says the wrong way. Would you stop thinking, already Kagome?! Sheesh!' The brothers looked at her with confusion when the young woman starting acting unlike herself.

"Anyway!" Sesshoumaru taking back control of matters at hand. "Brother, I'm heading out now. Take care. Let's go Rin." Heading towards the forest they stopped as they heard Kagome calling to them.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Matte onegai! I didn't get to tell you what was wrong with Rin-chan?" Sesshoumaru turned around to face Kagome.

"Kagome, that's right! I forgot about it myself when I saw that Rin was ok. I thought it was fatal. What was the matter with her?" A questioning expression appeared on the demon lords' carefree face.

"She had 'Cherry Chills'. It sometimes is fatal, but since you brought her here in time Lady Kaede and myself was able to cure her. It was in regression if you are wondering why she seems the same as the day you left her in my care." 'Not to mention a few things from my time helped a great deal in curing her.'

Pulling Rin closer to him to embrace the child whom had become dear to him. 'I almost lost you.' "Arigato Kagome for saving her." Letting his gaze fall to Rin. They both smiled. "Rin, are you ready to go?"

Her smile grew wide, "Fluffy-sama! I'm ready! Bye Kagome-chan." Sesshoumaru picked up Rin. Looking behind Kagome Rin saw Inuyasha standing there. "BYE YASHY!" she shouted and waved her arms about wildly.

Shocked by his newly acquired petname from the child. Inuyasha's brows furrowed in bewilderment. After a couple of moments went by he finally came out of his stupor. Looking at the retreating figure of the little girl who set her gaze upon him as she left. Inuyasha waved a small wave to her. Then her and Sesshoumaru were no longer there. Inuyasha was already missing the little girl that was clung to his brother looking back at over Sesshoumaru's shoulder.

Kagome walked over to Inuyasha with a grin on her face, "Yashy, ne? I like it I think it suits you." Her grin grew into a large evil smile, but to Inuyasha she couldn't have been more beautiful. She was teasing him but she wasn't doing it to be mean to him and he knew that.

"Feh", was all Inuyasha said. 'I've got to tell Kagome.' Staring at Kagome taking in her beauty. Breathing in her unmistakable scent. So rich so pure, intoxicating. Her scent was the only thing to ever give him assurance and make him… well… happy. Happy. Something he only felt when he mother was alive, many years have been since then. Her scent making him happy and so comfortable he could sleep. Something he really didn't like doing, but he felt it was all right when Kagome was near.

Before he could get his thoughts into words Kagome spoke. "Why are you looking at me in that way Inuyasha? What is it?" 'Great he must be thinking of Kikyou. Probably how I'm just some window for him to see her. That Bitch! How is it she has his heart so easily? Even after all she's done to him, he continually chooses her. I don't get it. I am just a shard detector to him. Nothing more than a fucking shard detector!'

"I'm not looking at you in any way, bitch." 'Fuck! I just screwed up telling her now. I'm going to get 'sat' for sure. You sure are an idiot Inuyasha letting the chance slip by and then saying that to her. Just fucking great!' he mentally kicked the shit out of himself.

Kagome still thinking his thoughts were on the dead bitch, Kikyou. "Bitch am I? Me a bitch? I seriously think you are mistaken." Kagome paused trying to remain sounding like she wasn't hurt but just anger before she continued on with the onslaught, "I'm Kagome! The woman, who has put up with your bullshit for quite some time now, I have been nice to you ever since you woke up. Yes, even after you tried killing me all because I looked and smelled like some DEAD BITCH!" Composing herself from her sudden out burst she inhaled and exhaled then went on with what was on her mind, "This same woman, whom you have now sworn to protect and love. Kikyou, who tries every chance she gets to take you to hell with her because she hates you! She's tried killing me. Would you swear vengeance on her if she took my life? No most likely not because she somehow has you wrapped around her finger." Kagome turned away from him with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Inuyasha wanted to say something back to her but refrained from it the idea that he might be 'sat' into eternity was not something he wanted to welcome. He heard the tears in her voice she no longer hid that she was hurt. His heart didn't shatter because shatter isn't the right term for what it did at that moment, disintegrated is probably the only way to describe what he felt at knowing he had hurt her so deeply. He now understood that she had thought he was looking for Kikyou when he stared so intently at her a few minutes ago. And so he continued to stand there and hear her pour her heart out to him even if it wasn't exactly what he had hoped.

"I'm nothing more than a goddamn window for you to look through to Kikyou. I didn't want to believe it at first Inuyasha especially every time you let the side of you that made me feel so, so. It doesn't matter anymore. I never want you to make me feel that way again Inuyasha EVER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" She didn't wait for his response before ending her declaration. "I'm going home! And do not follow me or I will make you regret it. I'll leave the fucking tama don't worry about it, but I'm leaving it with the others." Kagome began walking away.

Inuyasha looking at the ground where she was just standing his eyes lifting to her retreating figure. Reaching out a hand as if he could grab her arm from where he was and stop her. "K-Kagome." He took a step forward. 'She didn't 'sit' me. During that whole conversation not one time did she 'sit' me. Why?' "WHY KAGOME!"

Turning around slightly, "I'm not going to be in your way anymore, ok? You are exactly who I thought you weren't. Now leave me alone!" 'Why does this hurt so badly? I just need to push him away and this is the only way. Get over him Kagome he loves who you once were not you, it was never you.'

Inuyasha didn't take another step. Why was he listening to her and not going after her to tell her she was wrong? Why couldn't he move? Inuyasha sniffed at the air. Other than smelling Kagome and her scent which had become saturated with despair and sadness he smelt something almost similar to it. Inuyasha's eyes widened. When Kagome was out of the clearing and of earshot he could move again.

Inuyasha turning around to where the smell was emanating from he let out a growl. That growl was short lived when she came into the clearing. There she stood regal and intimidating. Dressed in her miko robes looking all mighty and powerful, believing demons and half-breeds alike should fear her, but on the other hand was a demon.

"Kikyou? Why are you here?" Inuyasha muttered. Walking closer he didn't fear this woman who had told him years ago that all she ever wanted was to be a normal woman something would never be.

"Inuyasha are you upset that I'm here? Or maybe for not letting you move to chase after her? She said it herself 'Do not follow me'. Every word she spoke was the truth. Don't be upset Inuyasha now you no longer have to worry about her. Now we can be together like we were going to be, like we were meant to be." Meeting Inuyasha with her arms open to embrace him.

He walked into her arms looking for comfort though it wasn't the comfort of the woman he loved and wanted to be with. He rested his on her shoulder and began to whimper that whimper grew into all out crying. 'Kagome doesn't love me. That proves it. No, she was crying. She wouldn't have been crying if she didn't love me. Oh no she thinks I don't love her. And now she'll never know the truth. Gods I'm such a fool.'

~*~*~

Kagome had stopped walking a few minutes after she left the clearing. She fell to her knees and sobbed like her world had ended and she was now alone in an empty place. She had felt empty before when Inuyasha brought her to that clearing in the tree almost a month ago, but now she knew the emptiness grew immensely in size.

Cupping her head in her hands she began crying uncontrollably. Loud sobs escaped through her hands and echoed in forest. 'Why didn't he come after me? Why didn't he try to make me stop crying stay to talk things out? How could let me just walk off that way?' Peering back to where she had just come from, "How could I have been so stupid as to think he would choose me over her?" Suddenly Kagome was aware of an aura near by, near to Inuyasha's aura. "Kikyou!" Kagome stood up and crept back to the edge of the clearing where she had just giving the hanyou a verbal beating.

There she saw the same scene she always saw when she saw Kikyou and Inuyasha together and alone. 'Why am I watching this?' she yelled at herself. She was quite a distance away from the couple, this time however but that didn't make it easy as she watched Kikyou lift Inuyasha's face so they were looking into each others' eyes. Then Kagome clutched her chest where she felt her heart stop beating when Kikyou brought her lips to Inuyasha. To Kagome that kiss was pretty intense. 'It's for the best, but maybe if…' She got an idea. 'There is a way I can be with him and he wouldn't have to choose.' She turned herself around and went for a walk to think this over.

Something in the bushes made its' way after her. 'She was so angry. Now she is back to the way she was before Sesshoumaru had her take care of Rin.' The small ball of fur that followed her was none other than Shippou. Kagome his surrogate mother, he couldn't take it at all when she was not happy. It bothered him more that it bothered Inuyasha. 'Please don't leave me mama.' He followed because if she got into trouble he would protect her. That and he didn't want Inuyasha to blame him if Kagome got hurt.

~*~*~

When their lips parted Kikyou smiled 'No more interruptions from my reincarnation.' She sensed Kagome there and hearing the girls' rant before thought it a lovely idea to kiss Inuyasha in front of her. She opened her eyes to see a smiling hanyou eyes still shut. She kissed him on the forehead, "Everything will be ok Inuyasha we can be together now. We can love openly." Caressing his cheek with her hand.

"Kiss me again, Kagome." Inuyasha whispered, but when he felt the hand on his cheek. In his heart he knew that kiss wasn't given to him by the one person he wanted to be kissed by. The hand was cold and lifeless, yet it was soft. Inuyasha's eyes opened. His disappointment was there and couldn't be hidden. He had kissed yet again the woman he could no longer love. "I've got to find Kagome! How dare you, Kikyou, keep me from finding and going after her. I'm don't love you anymore."

She pushed him away and glared at him with spite in her eyes. She began walking and passed him without so much as a look or a word. Leaving the clearing and him in it she went in search of Kagome. She would settle this once and for all. It was her soul after all.

*End of Chapter Four*

: : maybe I was wrong. Maybe my story doesn't make a dramatic change back to Happy. Not yet anyway. I still Luff Fluff but I really thought I should get out what I would say I was Kagome. So everything our dear sweet Kagome said is exactly how I feel about this situation. But believe it or not our story is drawing nearer to its end. Now I can work on 'Light vs Dark' (chap4) "WRASF?" I didn't want to work on it while I was writing this chap. For a good reason, 'Light vs Dark', isn't as dark as this one I'm not sure if it is even dark at all yet. Got to start writing and see where I'm lead. : :

Japanese terms = English translation

Iie = no

Matte onegai = wait please