Vertical (ly) Challenged
By Tagalog
Dismer: Again, I don't own anything from YYH, nor did I produce any of these awe-inspiring lyrics. They are sung by: No Doubt, Chumbawumba, Dead Eye Dick and Limp Bizkit.
Chapter Six: Groove Thing
" She certainly is brave. I wouldn't be able to sing in front of that many people." Kuwabara's voices sounded hesitant even though he was out of the spotlight.
" Hey, Kuwabara, are your legs shaking out of eagerness again?" Yusuke mocked. The two human boys quarreled as Kurama inched away to Hiei's side.
" This ought to be interesting.' Hiei folded his arms and flashed a sneer.
" Yes, she has a beautiful voice when she speaks; I can't wait to hear her musical tone."
" KURAMA!" Hiei choked in surprise as Kurama chuckled at his own amusement.
" Why that face Hiei?
" You talk that….way… about a human? And of Naomie for that matter?!"
" Come now, you sound almost jealous." Hiei turned away in defeat, but not quick enough to prevent Kurama from seeing the pink that rose up his cheeks.
" Let's hear it people!" Naomie was oblivious to her team's presence and cued the music. Throwing off her sweatshirt, she revealed her signature t-shirt: black with a baby dragon on the front. Dancing toward the center stage she glanced to her friends and winked. The music synchronized with her heartbeat; she licked her lips, grasped the microphone and exhaled.
" Take this pink ribbon off my eyes. I'm exposed and it's no big surprise. Don't you think I know exactly where I stand? This world is forcing me to hold your hand!"
Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei stared with large sweat drops forming on their faces. Kurama shook his head and watched as Naomie spilled out the lyrics.
" Well she has an enchanting voice, but she sure is suggestive through the lyrics."
"Hhn, she must have planned just to humiliate us." Hiei said. Kuwabara scratched his scalp as the demons talked.
" Geez guys. What she's singing about sure is prejudice."
" Prejudice." A blank stare came over his three comrades. Coughing a bit Kazuma explained his statement, as Hiei would say, like a professional fool.
" Yeah, prejudice; the song's disgracing males."
" Oh," Kurama exclaimed, " you mean sexist, Kuwabara, sexist. But I disagree, however, I think she just wants us to leave her alone."
"Hhn."
" 'Cause I'm just a girl, little ol' me. So, don't let me out of your sight. I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite. So don't let me have any rights!"
Turning towards Hiei and the others, she continued to sing.
" Oh… I've had it up to HERE!"
" That does it!" Hiei charged but was tethered by six arms.
" Okay, hothead!" Yusuke released and looked the fiery demon in the equally intense eyes. " Now's not the time! If you tackle her now, she will keep on doing stuff like this."
" Yusuke, pick a new apprentice!"
" Wha..?"
" You heard me! This one is useless!"
" So many reasons for me to run and hide. I can't do those little things I hold do dear."
" Hiei, give her a chance!"
" Why should I?"
" ' Cause it's all those little things…"
" If we lose patience with her now, she could end up like a druggie, or something worse."
" Do you think I care?!"
" You should! We've done nothing but cause her to hate us and fear us and I've seen what happens to kids who've never had friends to care about them; the last thing I want to see is Naomie end up like those people."
" That I fear…"********************************************************
" Hey audience! How was that for an opening act!" She received applause and cheer and was unmindful of the conflict concluding behind her. " For my next song let's have a surprise. I'll let the dj pick the next karaoke song for me!"
" Hiei, please. Look you guys did for me. I admit I was a total pain in the ass for Genki and the rest of you, in the start, and look at me now!" Hiei shrugged and proceeded to walk away until his leader grabbed him by the collar. " Look at me!"
" Why do I bother? She won't listen; she doesn't care about anyone here, none of us. You won't listen either will you?"
" No, sorry; I'll always be stubborn and no training will ever rid me of that."
" I don't think enduring her and instructing Naomie will rid us of her insubordination." The demon trudged away and sat on the exit stairway, whispering to himself as he deserted the others. " Yusuke," he sighed, " You're still a pain in the ass."
" What was that all about?"
" I'm sure nothing that concerns us Kuwabara. Those two are impossible to sway."
" Oh."
" Okay, I'm asking for your participation on this next song. I can feel this track is going to be unruly!" She screamed and the audience seemed to cheer right back. Naomie scrambled off towards the right and greeted Kurama and the remaining two. " Hey, do any of you want to come on stage with me? I could use the extra support." She pleaded with puppy dog eyes, but no one seemed to budge. With a heavy sigh she turned away.
" I'll help you." Yusuke grabbed her shoulder. " But I warn you I fight much better than I can sing and dance." She only smiled in response.
" That's fine. I'll help you."
" Got an extra mic?" Naomie motioned to the dj, who instantly threw her another microphone. " Let's do this."
" Start the music!"
********************************************************
" How do you think they're doing Kurama?" Kuwabara motioned a finger to the noise that came from center stage.
" Well, despite Yusuke's singing ability, they seem okay with their performance."
" If the whole audience is deaf." Hiei stated and restored his hood over his ears.
" I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never going to keep me down."
" Take it Yusuke!"
" He drinks a whiskey drink."
" He drinks a vodka drink."
" He drinks a larger drink."
" He drinks a cider drink." Kurama stepped in and snatched Naomie's mic.
" He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. He songs that remind him of the better times."
" Kurama!" Naomie was stunned, but her face revealed a large grin.
" I've always wanted to do that." Naomie nodded and they rejoined Yusuke.
" Oh.. Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy." The fox cheered and took the very center stage. With the girls swooning and the song blasting he sang the loudest.
" I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never going to keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again."
" YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN!"
********************************************************
" Glad that's over." Hiei put the cold glass up to his forehead in shame. " I can't believe you guys went out there." Kurama and Yusuke were laughing back and forth to each other, before they were interrupted.
" Hiei, you don't know what you're missing. It's great out there! They don't even care if you sing well."
" We all noticed that Urameshi. If you had a higher voice, you probably would have shattered glass." Kazuma took a swig from his drink and set it back onto the coaster. " What is this anyway? It sure has some kick."
" I call it Shiloh."
" You mean the dog?"
" No, I mean the bloody battle. Civil War? It explains why it's red. Haven't you guys learned anything about American history?" Kuwabara shook his head. Naomie sighed.
" I hope there isn't alcohol in this beverage. I don't want to end up like my mom." Yusuke tipped the glass back and forth watching as the liquid sloshed.
" Just a tad. There isn't enough to make you drunk or impaired."
" That's good. I wouldn't want Koenma to find out about this."
" So, when is this brawl going to start? Or is this how you live; thriving off meager applause and tainted beverages?"
" Hiei, shut up."
" Very intimidating."
" You'll get your fight. These people don't get restless for another half an hour. You'll see. Just finish your drink. You'll need to be somewhat hydrated." She gulped down the rest and proceeded back to the stage.
" Hmm. What other songs could we sing?" Naomie questioned herself as Yusuke and Kurama looked out towards the audience.
" They seem like a happy crowd. Why would brawls break out so frequently here?"
" Ah, I'd say there's more an alcohol influence. Besides, people on this side of town love fighting as much as the next guy."
" I wouldn't desire to hurt anyone who didn't want to be involved in the skirmish."
" Chill foxy. Everyone who's here has some anger that they want to take out in a fight. Now, forget the future; let's give me some ideas for a track!"
" How bout something with at least three parts. We could each have our own singing portion." Kurama smiled at his participation.
" Hey, Kurama, haven't you forgotten something?"
" What's that Yusuke?"
" I can't sing!"
" Oh, that can't possibly pose as too much of a challenge. They don't seem to care."
" Okay, easy with the insults. I know a song that fits the job description." She raced to the dj's stand, whispered the song into his ear and returned to her place on stage. In the distance, Kuwabara was clapping and rooting his team on. Hiei sat rigidly for he was anxious for the fight to commence.
" Look at Hiei's face."
" Pretty ugly, isn't it?" Yusuke joked but stopped giggling as he viewed the expression on Naomie's face.
" He looks like he's going to start the fight himself if I don't. Let's hope he holds out."
" Don't worry about him. He won't start anything." Kurama laid a soft hand on her shoulder as a sign of reassurance.
********************************************************
" How's this for a song you guys?"
" What's my part again?"
" Just join in when you feel comfortable Yusuke." Kurama waved to the viewers and shook many hands before he began to sing.
" Kurama's right. Just follow my lead if you can. We're trying to stall so the fight will happen a little later in the night. Then, there's a lesser chance of being arrested."
" I've got a new aged girl."
" Tell us what she's like."
" Environmentalist girl."
" Does she ride a bike?"
" She has a crystal necklace."
" Does she spend a lot a cash?"
"Though her vibes are rather reckless."
" She's heading for a crash."
" Oh, her flowing skirt is blowing in a transcendental wind. And she wonders without knowing where did we begin."
" Mary Moo, she's a vegetarian."
" Mary Moo, Mary Moo, Mary Moo."
" Mary Moo will outlive all the septuagenarians." Naomie grabbed Yusuke and Kurama by the shirt and flung them both into the roaring crowd. She took over lead as the boys yelled in delight.
" Oh she loves me so, she hates to be alone. She don't eat meat but she sure like the bone." She pulled them back onto the stage in time for them to regain composer.
" Da, da, da, dadada, RUFF! Da, da, da, dadada!"
********************************************************
" Well that was a tiring song!" Yusuke heaved as Naomie laughed at her teacher.
" I think I understand why you can be in such good shape just singing." Kurama removed his shirt and wiped the sweat of his face.
" Kurama, leave the sweat on. The girls love it!"
" Really? How so?" She motioned to the audience behind them. The roomful of girls was all staring at Kurama: some were blushing while others were trying hard not to blink, for fear of missing a sight of him. Kurama laughed awkwardly and waved a faltering hand at the ladies who replied with a unanimous swoon.
" Wow, you're quite the ladies man."
" Are you sure you want to start a fight? They seem so innocent."
" Trust me, stud muffin, they know when to flee."
" Stud muffin?" Kurama's voiced cracked which only made the girls who heard him giggle.
" Hey, can we crowd surf again? I felt like I was a king." Yusuke exclaimed.
" Well, you'll be involved with the crowd for sure in a few minutes. And I know just the song to rile up a brawl." She motioned some unknown hand signals to the dj, who solemnly nodded to Naomie. In a few seconds, the detectives watched as many people began to slowly filter out.
" Wow, that was quick." Yusuke scratched his head as he noticed the burly and belligerent people were left in the facility.
" Look, the strategy is we'll sing the first verse or so, or even mouth it, if need be. After that, find a way off the stage; don't jump straight into the crowd, then people will know that you were directly involved in the fight, which only causes you to be a suspect or arrested for disturbing the peace."
" I kinda get what you're saying: act like a distraction, look for an exit, kick ass in the dark and then run like hell."
" Exactamondo."
" No wonder you're so healthy."
" What about Hiei and Kuwabara?"
" I already sent them their function through telepathy. They're in the back preventing our escape route from being blockaded."
" Sweet. Are we ready to do this?"
" Let's roll."
" Move in now move out! Hands up now hands down!"
" Back up, back up!"
" Tell me what you're gonna do now!"
" Breath in now breath out! Hands up now hands down!"
" Back up, back up!"
" Tell me what you're gonna do now!"
" Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'!"
" Uggh!"
" Now Kurama! Yusuke!" They leapt off towards the stairs and into the shadows of the dance floor. The floor was in an uproar as tables and chairs were overturned and other various sceneries were skewed.
" I hope Hiei's having fun." Naomie punched a few guys onto the tables as they attempted to grab her.
" Now this feels like the old days!" Yusuke easily dodged the brutes who challenged him and made quick work of them all. Behind his back lay rows of unconscious drunks. He felt a hand on his shoulder and prepared to strike when he heard a familiar voice screech.
" AHHHHH, URAMESHI, IT'S ME! KUWABARA!" He ducked, but was fortunate enough that his friend realized his identity and stopped his assault.
" What the hell are you doing? You should be flooring these guys and having loads of fun! What's up?" The music and bass boomed as Kuwabara screamed the situation. Yusuke squinted to here but he apprehended that it was ineffective.
" I can't understand a word you're saying! I'm taking you outside!" He pulled a reluctant Kuwabara outside as a swift Kurama followed.
" Urameshi, it's Hiei!"
" That hothead can take care of himself and besides Naomie's in there for back up." They reached outside as the street was filled with people and sirens could be heard in the distance.
" Damn it! They better get out here soon or we all will get caught."
" Urameshi, you didn't listen to what I was trying to tell you!"
" I heard somewhat of it: Hiei's still in there, right? Big deal? Those intoxicated humans would hardly be a challenge for a demon like him."
" You didn't here me. I'm sure Hiei would be fighting everyone in there with ease if it wasn't for one problem!"
" And what problem would that be?"
" Hiei's unconscious!"
" WHAT!!!!!!"
********************************************************
" Hiei! Answer me!" Naomie barged through the people fleeing the bar and was weighed down by the manhandling horde. She searched in fear of Hiei's depleting energy that she sensed. She finally arrived at the rear of the building to find Hiei half dazed and half asleep. " Hiei, get up! We're leaving." The fire demon barely sat up at his command. She pulled him to his feet only to discover his legs were jell-o. Hiei fell to the floor and began to ramble nonsense to himself.
" Why am I here? Who are you?"
" What the?! Hiei, it's me, Naomie. What the hell's up with yo-," she paused slightly and smacked her forehead as she discovered the predicament. " Hiei, you're drunk."
" Damn those bright lights… I-"
" Shut up, I got to get you out of here." She lifted him in her arms and made her way to the stairs that led to the roof.
* Sorry to keep you in suspense, but the chappie kept going and going. I'd thought I'd better keep some of the already planned material for the next chappie. Also, what do you think of a Naomie/Hiei pairing? It was my original plan and I'm trying to create an adventure/romance fic. I hope it'll work. Tell me your thoughts on the matter! ~Tagalog