She's never been in the water before, not like this. Not with it coming at her from all directions, not when she knows it could quite possibly kill everyone in the world that she cares about, because they're in the way. She knows Scott and the others are watching, she can feel them, like she's never felt people before and she knows it will hurt him, both of the hims as she does this, but she knows its the only way.
She forces the X-Jet up, she watches them go and she feels it. She feels the force inside of her. She can feel her skin's heat radiating from the inside out, she doesn't understand this at all but she can't think about it right now. She can't think about how it feels as though her very core is on fire, or that her eyes are practically shooting flames. She can't think about the insanity of feeling boiling hot in a sea of freezing water. She can't think about it, because she doesn't have the time.
All she can think about is that wave, and those people, and their safety. And when she feels it, when she feels her mind pushing them upwards, to safety, she knows that it's time. That she can rest. So she lets go, she can't hold it anymore, the water is too much for her to bear.
And for a split second before the wave hits, she's angry. Angry that she couldn't save herself, angry that she's going to die for this stupid cause, angry that it had to be her, angry that she'll never see Scott's eyes, angry that she'll never touch Logan again, angry that Ororo will never realize how much she appreciated her.
And the anger practically floods through her, and she feels as though there's a blaze in her very soul, and she appreciates it because it's not chill like the water. So she hangs onto the heat, and she whispers the goodbyes that she couldn't say through Xavier. And she is ready, because she knows everyone will die someday. The one thing she doesn't realize is, the phoenix always rises.
She forces the X-Jet up, she watches them go and she feels it. She feels the force inside of her. She can feel her skin's heat radiating from the inside out, she doesn't understand this at all but she can't think about it right now. She can't think about how it feels as though her very core is on fire, or that her eyes are practically shooting flames. She can't think about the insanity of feeling boiling hot in a sea of freezing water. She can't think about it, because she doesn't have the time.
All she can think about is that wave, and those people, and their safety. And when she feels it, when she feels her mind pushing them upwards, to safety, she knows that it's time. That she can rest. So she lets go, she can't hold it anymore, the water is too much for her to bear.
And for a split second before the wave hits, she's angry. Angry that she couldn't save herself, angry that she's going to die for this stupid cause, angry that it had to be her, angry that she'll never see Scott's eyes, angry that she'll never touch Logan again, angry that Ororo will never realize how much she appreciated her.
And the anger practically floods through her, and she feels as though there's a blaze in her very soul, and she appreciates it because it's not chill like the water. So she hangs onto the heat, and she whispers the goodbyes that she couldn't say through Xavier. And she is ready, because she knows everyone will die someday. The one thing she doesn't realize is, the phoenix always rises.