authors note: hey guys! thanks for all the lovely comments, they really made me happy. :)
Here's another chapter, from Scott's point of view. I may do this for every character, but I'm not sure yet.
He always thought that when she died, he'd know. He thought the very world would burst into flames, and he'd fall to his knees and weep, and he'd never be the same again, because really what was he without her?
But he didn't feel that way now, he simply felt empty. Someone had torn out his heart and stomped on it, but he knew that somewhere it was still beating. He noticed the little things, an empty chair at a dinner table, an empty space in their bed, a missing pilot from the X-Jet. Every time he'd notice a place where she should be, his heart would pang and he couldn't help but wonder, wonder if she knew how much he loved her.
He would have died for her. He would have gladly died in her place, gladly been frozen in those giant waves. But he wasn't given the chance, and this hurts him.
He hasn't spoken to Xavier about this yet, but he knows, he just knows she's still with him. The only thing that's keeping him from a breakdown, the only thing that's stopping him from throwing himself at walls and tearing his own skin with a knife, the only thing that's making him think twice when he wants to tear his own eyes out. He still feels her.
She's still there, her aura is still surrounding him. Sometimes he feels as though she's hugging him, as though her arms are wrapping around him and he swears it's real. He swears she's not dead, he swears she's in the room with him, because you can't just feel someone that vividly if they're completely gone.
He won't tell anyone this, of course. They'd think him mad, they'd call him a victim of grief, they'd suggest he was weak. He's not weak, he knows this. He knows he's strong enough to deal with this. But he also knows that Jean wasn't weak. That Jean wasn't a victim of anything, and so he waits.
He waits for the time he knows will come, the time that she will come back, and the arms wrapped around him will be solid again.
He always thought that when she died, he'd know. He thought the very world would burst into flames, and he'd fall to his knees and weep, and he'd never be the same again, because really what was he without her?
But he didn't feel that way now, he simply felt empty. Someone had torn out his heart and stomped on it, but he knew that somewhere it was still beating. He noticed the little things, an empty chair at a dinner table, an empty space in their bed, a missing pilot from the X-Jet. Every time he'd notice a place where she should be, his heart would pang and he couldn't help but wonder, wonder if she knew how much he loved her.
He would have died for her. He would have gladly died in her place, gladly been frozen in those giant waves. But he wasn't given the chance, and this hurts him.
He hasn't spoken to Xavier about this yet, but he knows, he just knows she's still with him. The only thing that's keeping him from a breakdown, the only thing that's stopping him from throwing himself at walls and tearing his own skin with a knife, the only thing that's making him think twice when he wants to tear his own eyes out. He still feels her.
She's still there, her aura is still surrounding him. Sometimes he feels as though she's hugging him, as though her arms are wrapping around him and he swears it's real. He swears she's not dead, he swears she's in the room with him, because you can't just feel someone that vividly if they're completely gone.
He won't tell anyone this, of course. They'd think him mad, they'd call him a victim of grief, they'd suggest he was weak. He's not weak, he knows this. He knows he's strong enough to deal with this. But he also knows that Jean wasn't weak. That Jean wasn't a victim of anything, and so he waits.
He waits for the time he knows will come, the time that she will come back, and the arms wrapped around him will be solid again.