~*Chapter Three*~
November 23, 1995
The sound of smashing wood echoed thorugh the small seclued flat as the door fell haphazardly open. The form that stumbled through the doorway leaned heavily against the doorframe, trembling horribly. His breath came in great, weary heaves, and dried and fresh blood alike painted his hands and tattered clothing. He clenched his hand tightly as he leaned against the door, clutching a fistful of shredded material in his amazingly strong hand. His young face was terribly pale, and his tawney hair, silver-stained from the vicious curse, was tainted with crimson. He stumbled away from the door, weariness and pain overwhelming his senses. With a low groan, he let himself fall onto a faded, threadbare couch and leaned his head back against the hard arm. The scent of blood hung heavily about him, and as he looked blearily at the ripped material in his hand, he looked away and shivered as tears came to his eyes.
He had murdered...in the dark of the night under the light of his wretched symbol...he had murdered...
Remus Lupin dropped the rags to the floor and managed to curl into a fetal position, his sore muscles crying out at him in pain as they continued to mend from the last three nights' previous form. He was silent for a long moment, the only sound the loud thumping of the splintered door banging against the inside wall with the impact of the howling wind. Finally, a low, mournful sob emanated from the ragged, beaten form, and he shook with all his unbidden sorrow. Tears would've fallen down his thin, one robust face had he not shed them in the centuries before...there was nothing for him now. Nothing.
They would find the remains of the young girl soon...and then they would follow the trail of blood to the small flat...and they would end his centuries-long suffering. He prayed their gunshots; their revenge would fall swiftly upon him...His friends were dead, his love was innocent...but on the run, and believed him not....He wished for nothing more than blessed, neverending slumber to encompass him finally...
Darkness fell upon his senses as fatigue and a need for escape overwhelmed him, and in time, his wracking sobs ceased and fell into uneven, distant breathing. Surely his slumber would be riddled with nightmares...
~*~*~*~*~
A dull thud brought Remus out of his restless slumber, and he weakly moaned to the thick darkness of night, raising a hand to his face. The scent of blood overpowered his sense of smell and he gasped and leaned over the edge of the couch, preparing to wretch. But he never got that far, for as he turned his head towards the floor, his keen eyes caught the outline of a mud-caked boot standing there, its laces ragged and untied. Inhaling sharply, he slowly moved a trembling hand to reach for his wand, if not to attack, than at least to see...He wasn't dead yet...he could only assume that this was not one of those pursuing him...
As he reached for where his wand had been laid before the first transformation, he gasped as he realized that it wasn't there. Turning his head sharply, he ignored the sickening feeling in his stomach and looked up into the shadowy figure's face.
It was almost as though the stranger was wearing a cloak...but he could tell by the waythe wind from the open door rustled his hair that it was not so. He could also see that the stranger held his wand in an able, well-seasoned hand...
"Who...who are you..." Remus managed hoarsely, looking haggardly tired and wary. He pulled away from the stranger slightly, knowing that without his wand and his stamina, he was helpless.
The figure appeared to lower the wand and ready himself to speak, but the sounds of nearby gunshots and angered shouts silenced him. Turning sharply, the figure strode to the door and closed it gingerly, trying not to cause the door any more damage. After that was done, he turned, and sighed.
"Lumos," said a tired voice, and a dim but able light lit up the small room. Remus squinted slightly against the onslaught of light on his weary eyes and began to turn away when he caught sight of the face underneath the darkness. Adrenaline shot into his weary system, waking up his senses as surprise and relief washed over him. He bit his lower lip as a world weary emotion began to well up within him...
Haunted grey eyes gazed down into Remus' pale, blood-tainted face. Several lengthy strands of black hair shaded his face from view, and the dim golden light cast eerie shadows about his thin face. He was breathing a slow, even pace, and he slowly began to walk towards the fallen lycanthrope, compassion hanging in his once-emotionless eyes. His hair hung about his shoulders, and while his face was still pale and somewhat thin, it was far from being gaunt and vampiric as it had been the last time Remus had gazed upon him.
"Remus..." he breathed, his voice holding a strange note of reverence as he spoke. His face fell into a look that was undescribable s he held the wand out and over Remus so that he could see him better. He gave him a pained look and stepped over to his side, falling to his knees. He set the wand on the table so that the light could shine on them both, and he reached out a tremblung, unsure hand, touching his tawney, bloodstained hair that fell messily in Remus' face. He observed each scratch with a scrutinizing gaze of awe and wonder, and shook his head woefully. "How could you have done all this...how could you force yourself to suffer so much on my account..."
Remus, who had closed his eyes at the strange tone in Sirius' voice, looked up sharply as he heard those last few words that his former love spoke. His heart leapt into his throat as Sirius finished and touched his forehead, and he gave him a confused look.
"What do you mean...?" he asked slowly, trying to sit up. Sirius, however, pulled him back down so that he didn't strain himself, and smiled slightly.
"Remus..." he began, and closed his eyes for a moment before sighing. "I was a fool, Remus...I am the cause of your suffering...and you do not deserve such pain..." He paused, his trembling hand moving down to grace Remus' cheek, ignoring the blood that painted his face red. "You waited for so many years...hoping that your promise was not in vain...and I dash your dreams a second time..." He lowered his eyes in shame. "Our lives are both a great irony, Remus...But I want to know...why? Why did you sacrifice your immortality for me?"
Remus' eyes widened as he listened to Sirius' gentle, genuine words. He knew...he understood...After so many years...his druid had returned to his side...It was then that he realized that Sirius' hand, so warm and reassuring, was gracing his face...
Forbidden to touch, forbidden to love...before that fateful night, they had never touched...only spoken...so why had he made that promise to him those many milennia ago?
"Why...why indeed..." Remus said softly, and lowered his eyes. "Selene, the lovely moon goddess of Rome, loved a shepherd named Endymion once...Endymion was the most handsome mortal that had ever graced the land, and Selene was enraptured...every night, she would lull him into a magical sleep and come to him, showering him with her love...but there was one problem with this gift she gave him..." He paused, and sighed heavily, ignoring the pain that roamed his body. "Endymion never knew of her or her love...so her love was fraught with many sighs and heartaches..."
Sirius nodded slowly at Remus' cryptic answer, lowering his hand from Remus' face. He still didn't understand fully...he knew the myth very well...for some reason, that was one of the few myths that had stood in his mind from his classes...But he had never understood why.
"But...why...?"
Remus smiled then.
"The heavens are a lonely place, Sirius...and I refuse to let my own Endymion suffer the same fate..."
Sirius' eyes were expressionless for a moment as Remus eloquently shed light on the question that had plagued him since his first dreams in Azkaban...He didn't want him to be oblivious like Endymion..while he loved from afar...so great was his love and loyalty that he traversed the span of centuries, his burden great, but his determination greater...only to tell someone some day...of what once was and what could be again...
Closing his eyes as Remus' few but fervent words washed over him, he inhaled a bit. He knew this to be true...but he remembered so little...it was all a blur...the shouts in a strange language...the blood...the only thing clear was the woeful face of the silver-shining spirit gazing upon him, unable to touch mortal flesh...
A warm hand against his cheek brought him out of his reverie, and Sirius looked slightly alarmed as he raised his confused grey eyes to meet Remus' silvery ones. Remus had a calm but collected expression on his face, and smiled.
"You will remember...just as clearly as I do..." he said softly, and a great flash of white light seemed to blind him, stun him, as his mind whirled images before his eyes.
The dark, thick forest...an unmoving, glistening lake where a spirit lived...a spirit who was kindred with a wolf...black fur and jovial barks...nights spent on the banks...loving words...angry shouts...pain, blood, the flash of crude weapons...the howl of the first werewolves...the horrible, angry sound of the spirit's vengeful voice...and the last promise made...
Sirius gasped and started back a bit as the memories finished, and he looked at Remus in awe...he found himself struck silent as he understood the curious dream in full...
"I...They murdered...because it was taboo..." he said finally, shivering as though extremely cold. "Mortals and immortals...could not...but then...you..."
A look of full understanding overcame Sirius' face, and Remus smiled and nodded.
"Yes...I would rather sacrifice my immortality for one moment to touch you in the vigor of life...than to watch you from afar with longing woe in my heart..."
Sirius furrowed his brow slightly as his eyes gained a long absent glimmer of tenderness, and he smiled, shaking his head. "Moony..." he murmured slightly, and leaned in a bit closer. "We've done some very foolish things since we've met...but I have to say...that one takes the cake..." He paused for a moment, giving Remus a moment to appear confused and slightly hurt. "But I'm glad you decided to play the part of the lovestruck fool for just this once..."
And Sirius kissed him.
A great shot of adrenaline sped through Remus' system as he felt Sirius' lips softly against his; a simple physical contact that had been forbidden to him so many years before...It was enrapturing...Warmth seemed to flood from his lips, spreading its soothing heat over his lycanthrope wounds so that, for the briefest of moments, he forgot it all and only knew this sacred touch...
Suddenly, a sudden flash of light lit up through the window from outside, and a few loud gunshots tore them apart. Remus gasped and sat up so suddenly that several stiff joints in his back popped painfully and a few barely healed cuts came open again, sending a few trickles of blood down his forehead and arm. Angry shouts echoed in the trees outside, and Sirius stood sharply, brandishing Remus' wand carefully.
"They've found me..." he muttered grimly, and turned to Remus. He was surprised to find that the weary lycanthrope had pulled himself up and was now standing, looking darkly ashamed of himself.
"No," he said lowly, and met Sirius' eyes. "They're after me...I..." he paused, having trouble finding words to speak of his woes. "I...I couldn't help myself last night...the wolf is always the worst on the last night...I...I killed a little girl, Sirius. They're here for me."
Sirius looked stunned, and would've spoken had there not been several vicious seconds of knocking on the damaged door. Quickly, he pulled Remus towards him and rushed him into the back of the house, speaking very quickly in a hushed voice.
"Come on...I'm here to get you on Dumbledore's orders. He wants the Order of the Phoenix rejoined...I can heal your wounds once we get there..."
"Where?" Remus asked as Sirius pushed him into a back room and wrenched open the back door.
Sirius turned and gave Remus a grim, unhappy look.
"Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place."
~*Chapter Four Coming Soon!*~
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November 23, 1995
The sound of smashing wood echoed thorugh the small seclued flat as the door fell haphazardly open. The form that stumbled through the doorway leaned heavily against the doorframe, trembling horribly. His breath came in great, weary heaves, and dried and fresh blood alike painted his hands and tattered clothing. He clenched his hand tightly as he leaned against the door, clutching a fistful of shredded material in his amazingly strong hand. His young face was terribly pale, and his tawney hair, silver-stained from the vicious curse, was tainted with crimson. He stumbled away from the door, weariness and pain overwhelming his senses. With a low groan, he let himself fall onto a faded, threadbare couch and leaned his head back against the hard arm. The scent of blood hung heavily about him, and as he looked blearily at the ripped material in his hand, he looked away and shivered as tears came to his eyes.
He had murdered...in the dark of the night under the light of his wretched symbol...he had murdered...
Remus Lupin dropped the rags to the floor and managed to curl into a fetal position, his sore muscles crying out at him in pain as they continued to mend from the last three nights' previous form. He was silent for a long moment, the only sound the loud thumping of the splintered door banging against the inside wall with the impact of the howling wind. Finally, a low, mournful sob emanated from the ragged, beaten form, and he shook with all his unbidden sorrow. Tears would've fallen down his thin, one robust face had he not shed them in the centuries before...there was nothing for him now. Nothing.
They would find the remains of the young girl soon...and then they would follow the trail of blood to the small flat...and they would end his centuries-long suffering. He prayed their gunshots; their revenge would fall swiftly upon him...His friends were dead, his love was innocent...but on the run, and believed him not....He wished for nothing more than blessed, neverending slumber to encompass him finally...
Darkness fell upon his senses as fatigue and a need for escape overwhelmed him, and in time, his wracking sobs ceased and fell into uneven, distant breathing. Surely his slumber would be riddled with nightmares...
~*~*~*~*~
A dull thud brought Remus out of his restless slumber, and he weakly moaned to the thick darkness of night, raising a hand to his face. The scent of blood overpowered his sense of smell and he gasped and leaned over the edge of the couch, preparing to wretch. But he never got that far, for as he turned his head towards the floor, his keen eyes caught the outline of a mud-caked boot standing there, its laces ragged and untied. Inhaling sharply, he slowly moved a trembling hand to reach for his wand, if not to attack, than at least to see...He wasn't dead yet...he could only assume that this was not one of those pursuing him...
As he reached for where his wand had been laid before the first transformation, he gasped as he realized that it wasn't there. Turning his head sharply, he ignored the sickening feeling in his stomach and looked up into the shadowy figure's face.
It was almost as though the stranger was wearing a cloak...but he could tell by the waythe wind from the open door rustled his hair that it was not so. He could also see that the stranger held his wand in an able, well-seasoned hand...
"Who...who are you..." Remus managed hoarsely, looking haggardly tired and wary. He pulled away from the stranger slightly, knowing that without his wand and his stamina, he was helpless.
The figure appeared to lower the wand and ready himself to speak, but the sounds of nearby gunshots and angered shouts silenced him. Turning sharply, the figure strode to the door and closed it gingerly, trying not to cause the door any more damage. After that was done, he turned, and sighed.
"Lumos," said a tired voice, and a dim but able light lit up the small room. Remus squinted slightly against the onslaught of light on his weary eyes and began to turn away when he caught sight of the face underneath the darkness. Adrenaline shot into his weary system, waking up his senses as surprise and relief washed over him. He bit his lower lip as a world weary emotion began to well up within him...
Haunted grey eyes gazed down into Remus' pale, blood-tainted face. Several lengthy strands of black hair shaded his face from view, and the dim golden light cast eerie shadows about his thin face. He was breathing a slow, even pace, and he slowly began to walk towards the fallen lycanthrope, compassion hanging in his once-emotionless eyes. His hair hung about his shoulders, and while his face was still pale and somewhat thin, it was far from being gaunt and vampiric as it had been the last time Remus had gazed upon him.
"Remus..." he breathed, his voice holding a strange note of reverence as he spoke. His face fell into a look that was undescribable s he held the wand out and over Remus so that he could see him better. He gave him a pained look and stepped over to his side, falling to his knees. He set the wand on the table so that the light could shine on them both, and he reached out a tremblung, unsure hand, touching his tawney, bloodstained hair that fell messily in Remus' face. He observed each scratch with a scrutinizing gaze of awe and wonder, and shook his head woefully. "How could you have done all this...how could you force yourself to suffer so much on my account..."
Remus, who had closed his eyes at the strange tone in Sirius' voice, looked up sharply as he heard those last few words that his former love spoke. His heart leapt into his throat as Sirius finished and touched his forehead, and he gave him a confused look.
"What do you mean...?" he asked slowly, trying to sit up. Sirius, however, pulled him back down so that he didn't strain himself, and smiled slightly.
"Remus..." he began, and closed his eyes for a moment before sighing. "I was a fool, Remus...I am the cause of your suffering...and you do not deserve such pain..." He paused, his trembling hand moving down to grace Remus' cheek, ignoring the blood that painted his face red. "You waited for so many years...hoping that your promise was not in vain...and I dash your dreams a second time..." He lowered his eyes in shame. "Our lives are both a great irony, Remus...But I want to know...why? Why did you sacrifice your immortality for me?"
Remus' eyes widened as he listened to Sirius' gentle, genuine words. He knew...he understood...After so many years...his druid had returned to his side...It was then that he realized that Sirius' hand, so warm and reassuring, was gracing his face...
Forbidden to touch, forbidden to love...before that fateful night, they had never touched...only spoken...so why had he made that promise to him those many milennia ago?
"Why...why indeed..." Remus said softly, and lowered his eyes. "Selene, the lovely moon goddess of Rome, loved a shepherd named Endymion once...Endymion was the most handsome mortal that had ever graced the land, and Selene was enraptured...every night, she would lull him into a magical sleep and come to him, showering him with her love...but there was one problem with this gift she gave him..." He paused, and sighed heavily, ignoring the pain that roamed his body. "Endymion never knew of her or her love...so her love was fraught with many sighs and heartaches..."
Sirius nodded slowly at Remus' cryptic answer, lowering his hand from Remus' face. He still didn't understand fully...he knew the myth very well...for some reason, that was one of the few myths that had stood in his mind from his classes...But he had never understood why.
"But...why...?"
Remus smiled then.
"The heavens are a lonely place, Sirius...and I refuse to let my own Endymion suffer the same fate..."
Sirius' eyes were expressionless for a moment as Remus eloquently shed light on the question that had plagued him since his first dreams in Azkaban...He didn't want him to be oblivious like Endymion..while he loved from afar...so great was his love and loyalty that he traversed the span of centuries, his burden great, but his determination greater...only to tell someone some day...of what once was and what could be again...
Closing his eyes as Remus' few but fervent words washed over him, he inhaled a bit. He knew this to be true...but he remembered so little...it was all a blur...the shouts in a strange language...the blood...the only thing clear was the woeful face of the silver-shining spirit gazing upon him, unable to touch mortal flesh...
A warm hand against his cheek brought him out of his reverie, and Sirius looked slightly alarmed as he raised his confused grey eyes to meet Remus' silvery ones. Remus had a calm but collected expression on his face, and smiled.
"You will remember...just as clearly as I do..." he said softly, and a great flash of white light seemed to blind him, stun him, as his mind whirled images before his eyes.
The dark, thick forest...an unmoving, glistening lake where a spirit lived...a spirit who was kindred with a wolf...black fur and jovial barks...nights spent on the banks...loving words...angry shouts...pain, blood, the flash of crude weapons...the howl of the first werewolves...the horrible, angry sound of the spirit's vengeful voice...and the last promise made...
Sirius gasped and started back a bit as the memories finished, and he looked at Remus in awe...he found himself struck silent as he understood the curious dream in full...
"I...They murdered...because it was taboo..." he said finally, shivering as though extremely cold. "Mortals and immortals...could not...but then...you..."
A look of full understanding overcame Sirius' face, and Remus smiled and nodded.
"Yes...I would rather sacrifice my immortality for one moment to touch you in the vigor of life...than to watch you from afar with longing woe in my heart..."
Sirius furrowed his brow slightly as his eyes gained a long absent glimmer of tenderness, and he smiled, shaking his head. "Moony..." he murmured slightly, and leaned in a bit closer. "We've done some very foolish things since we've met...but I have to say...that one takes the cake..." He paused for a moment, giving Remus a moment to appear confused and slightly hurt. "But I'm glad you decided to play the part of the lovestruck fool for just this once..."
And Sirius kissed him.
A great shot of adrenaline sped through Remus' system as he felt Sirius' lips softly against his; a simple physical contact that had been forbidden to him so many years before...It was enrapturing...Warmth seemed to flood from his lips, spreading its soothing heat over his lycanthrope wounds so that, for the briefest of moments, he forgot it all and only knew this sacred touch...
Suddenly, a sudden flash of light lit up through the window from outside, and a few loud gunshots tore them apart. Remus gasped and sat up so suddenly that several stiff joints in his back popped painfully and a few barely healed cuts came open again, sending a few trickles of blood down his forehead and arm. Angry shouts echoed in the trees outside, and Sirius stood sharply, brandishing Remus' wand carefully.
"They've found me..." he muttered grimly, and turned to Remus. He was surprised to find that the weary lycanthrope had pulled himself up and was now standing, looking darkly ashamed of himself.
"No," he said lowly, and met Sirius' eyes. "They're after me...I..." he paused, having trouble finding words to speak of his woes. "I...I couldn't help myself last night...the wolf is always the worst on the last night...I...I killed a little girl, Sirius. They're here for me."
Sirius looked stunned, and would've spoken had there not been several vicious seconds of knocking on the damaged door. Quickly, he pulled Remus towards him and rushed him into the back of the house, speaking very quickly in a hushed voice.
"Come on...I'm here to get you on Dumbledore's orders. He wants the Order of the Phoenix rejoined...I can heal your wounds once we get there..."
"Where?" Remus asked as Sirius pushed him into a back room and wrenched open the back door.
Sirius turned and gave Remus a grim, unhappy look.
"Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place."
~*Chapter Four Coming Soon!*~
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