Order of the Phoenix Spoilers! No slash!
A/N: I looked back on the first entry, which was written right before the 5th book came out. I'm glad I wrote it then, because else I would feel something was missing. I have a new chapter to add on to it, although I really thought that was going to be the only thing I wrote about it. I have another chapter that's already written, called Remus's Pain. I will post that when I get 2 more reviews. That one is better than this one.
Disclaimer for the previous chapter, this one and however many I write afterwards: I don't own any of the characters etc. They belong to the fabulous Writing Queen, J.K. Rowling. Long live the Queen!
~~~~~
I'm sitting on the gray lumping mattress in the Dursley's house that I call a room, lying on the thin pillow and running this year through my mind; the DA, Dumbledore's sacrifice, and this awful place.
"Sirius could give me such a better home." I say to myself out load. Oh no, it happened again. I tell myself, "He's dead, he's dead, he's not coming back," but in the middle of repeating it outloud, I choke.
I will not cry. "Sirius would've wanted for me to be strong. Siri-" I break down and start sobbing.
The tears pore from my eyes. I know there glistening from the flood that I feel on my cheeks. They flood, and I take the pillow in my hands covering my face with it. Sirius wouldn't cry. I have to be strong. But I keep weeping.
Sirius is dead. The anguish of my godfather being dead finally hits me, that he is dead. The only father I ever knew was dead. His limp body slumping behind the arch.
His limp body, that I could've saved. My fault. I don't want to live. Sirius should be alive.
And I cry more. The salty tears won't stop, although the whimpers I had making before have been contained.
My father's best friend is dead. I should've been there for you Sirius. I'm sorry I let you down Dad. I let him die.
I let him die..the words echo through my mind as a surge of new tears form from somewhere in me.
He's dead..the new words echo along with the other ones.
My godfather..my godfather.one of my best friends..my godfather...is.is dead...
The gray pillow is now drenched in my tears. I try to contain them, but I can't.
I run down the dark stairs. The clock in the kitchen flashes 2:46 AM..I grab a knife and stand over the sink, letting my blood pore into the sink like my tears, which are still coming.
And I am relieved. Still crying, but relieved.
~~~~~~~
A/N: I really don't think that's the best I've ever done. The last chapter was better.and it was longer. I was trying to feel what Harry might feel, but I really couldn't. Feel free to flame, cry, or laugh, just please review.
Purple Spotted Hedwig -formally hedwig7up, or Luna Lovegood.
A/N: I looked back on the first entry, which was written right before the 5th book came out. I'm glad I wrote it then, because else I would feel something was missing. I have a new chapter to add on to it, although I really thought that was going to be the only thing I wrote about it. I have another chapter that's already written, called Remus's Pain. I will post that when I get 2 more reviews. That one is better than this one.
Disclaimer for the previous chapter, this one and however many I write afterwards: I don't own any of the characters etc. They belong to the fabulous Writing Queen, J.K. Rowling. Long live the Queen!
~~~~~
I'm sitting on the gray lumping mattress in the Dursley's house that I call a room, lying on the thin pillow and running this year through my mind; the DA, Dumbledore's sacrifice, and this awful place.
"Sirius could give me such a better home." I say to myself out load. Oh no, it happened again. I tell myself, "He's dead, he's dead, he's not coming back," but in the middle of repeating it outloud, I choke.
I will not cry. "Sirius would've wanted for me to be strong. Siri-" I break down and start sobbing.
The tears pore from my eyes. I know there glistening from the flood that I feel on my cheeks. They flood, and I take the pillow in my hands covering my face with it. Sirius wouldn't cry. I have to be strong. But I keep weeping.
Sirius is dead. The anguish of my godfather being dead finally hits me, that he is dead. The only father I ever knew was dead. His limp body slumping behind the arch.
His limp body, that I could've saved. My fault. I don't want to live. Sirius should be alive.
And I cry more. The salty tears won't stop, although the whimpers I had making before have been contained.
My father's best friend is dead. I should've been there for you Sirius. I'm sorry I let you down Dad. I let him die.
I let him die..the words echo through my mind as a surge of new tears form from somewhere in me.
He's dead..the new words echo along with the other ones.
My godfather..my godfather.one of my best friends..my godfather...is.is dead...
The gray pillow is now drenched in my tears. I try to contain them, but I can't.
I run down the dark stairs. The clock in the kitchen flashes 2:46 AM..I grab a knife and stand over the sink, letting my blood pore into the sink like my tears, which are still coming.
And I am relieved. Still crying, but relieved.
~~~~~~~
A/N: I really don't think that's the best I've ever done. The last chapter was better.and it was longer. I was trying to feel what Harry might feel, but I really couldn't. Feel free to flame, cry, or laugh, just please review.
Purple Spotted Hedwig -formally hedwig7up, or Luna Lovegood.