Chapter Three: Kamikaze Mirrors

(Peo is standing by the side of a road, sticking his thumb up as cars pass by. The rain is poring down. A long, black limo pulls up beside Peo, and the driver sticks his head out.)

Kiss: Need a ride?

Peo: Sure. Adams Street bridge.

(Peo climbs in the car and it roars off. They reach the bridge and Peo gets out of the car.)

Peo: Thanks!

Kiss: No problem. See you later!

(another limo pulls up. The door opens and a gun is thrust into Peo's face.)

Finite: Get in, Peo.

Peo: How do you know my name?

Finite: Uh…I know many things. I'm not a stalker.

(Peo enters the limo and is thrust down. Finite holds him while a women dressed in all white leans over the back seat and puts a contraption on top of Peo. They suck out the wormy thingy. The car continues driving and arrives at a large building. The three walk upstairs.)

Finite: One word of advice, don't lie. He will know.

Peo: How?

Finite: We have you hooked up to a lie detector. See that little black box there? That's it. And don't try to destroy it, it isn't real.

Peo: What? I see it right there! How the hell can it not be real?

Finite: Nevermind…

(they enter the room. A black man wearing a trenchcoat and glasses is sitting in a red armchair. Seeing Peo, he rises to greet him.)

Morphbus: 'Sup, gee?

Peo: Hello…

Morphbus: So, you here to find out what the 'Matrix' is. Unfortunately, you cannot be told what the Matrix is-

Peo: Oh, I'll go then. (begins to leave)

Morphbus: SIT DOWN! Anyway, you cannot be told what the Matrix is, fool, you must be shown.

Peo: Why don't you try anyway?

Morphbus: Fine. The Matrix is a prison. A prison you cannot touch, see, or hear. A prison for your mind.

Peo: See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?

Morphbus…Anyway, you now must make a choice. There are two pills.

(Morphbus holds out a red pill and a blue pill.)

Morphbus: Take the coke…blue pill, you'll wake up in your bed, and believe whatever you want to believe. Take the red pill, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Peo: That sounded vaguely perverted…I better take the blue pill.

Morphbus: No, dammit! Take the red pill! (pulls a gun)

Peo…Okay… (takes red pill).

Morphbus: Good choice.

(everyone looks around as if to say "whatever.")

Morphbus: Dis the rest of my crew. Dey my homies. This rodent-like man is Louse-

Louse: Hiya!

Morphbus: -the man talking to Agent Kiss in the corner is Gopher-

Gopher: Hey.

Morphbus: -and the white supremacist woman over there is Bitch.

Bitch: Ignore Morphbus; he's bitter because I stole a pound of his…blue pills.

Morphbus: Sit the fuck down, Peo.

Peo: I AM SITTING DOWN YOU CRACKHEAD!!!

Morphbus: I know that…Just testing you. Bitch, get his location.

(Bitch begins typing frantically into the computer. Peo looks over into a mirror, and, as he looks at it, a large crack appears in it.)

Mirror: Oh my God! It's horrible! Keep it away!

Peo: What the hell?

Finite: Morphbus forgot to mention…the 'pills' give you 'visions.'

Mirror: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

(the mirror turns into a silvery liquid and begins attacking Peo's arm. It slowly crawls up his arm as Peo panics. A wet space spreads out from his crotch area.)

Peo: Shit!

(the mirror crawls up his body and down his throat. Peo blacks out.)

(cut to the Power Plant)

(Peo wakes in his pod and looks around. Millions of pea-shaped pods stretch out as far as the eye can see. Each one holds a human. Around patrol many machines, monitors displaying pictures of Smith. One flies up to Peo and pulls the plug from his neck. Many other plugs snap out of his body. He slides through the tube and into a pool of water. A hovercraft appears and hauls him inside, where the rebels are waiting.)

Morphbus: Welcome to the real world.

Peo: You can keep it.

(he collapses backward and soon starts snoring. Finite kicks him.)