Chapter Seven: Guns, Guns, Guns and More Guns. Did We Mention Guns?

(cut to a room)

(Finite and Peo are standing in the room. The phone rings and Finite answers.)

Finite: Hello?

Gopher: Hello, Finite. If you have anything to say to Bitch, say it now.

Finite: She's already dead. Peo shot her.

Gopher: Why?

Finite: He was hallucinating! You were there!

Gopher: Oh, right. Better kill Peo then.

Finite: No! You can't do that! He's the One!

Gopher: You mean you believed Morphbus's bullshit? Look into those deep blue eyes of his, and tell me. Do you believe?

Finite: No.

Gopher: See?

(cut to the Nebizzle)

Crank: DIE SCUMBALL!

Gopher: SHIT!

(Peo and Finite exit the Matrix.)

Peo: Damn, poor Morphbus.

Finite: We have to go back and get him!

Peo: Why?

Finite: He means more than anything to me!

Peo: Okay, let's go…

(cut to the Construct)

Crank: What do you need?

Finite: Guns, lots of guns. And a Coke.

Peo: I'll have a Diet Pepsi.

(Finite's Coke appears in her hand. Shelves come zooming in from no where and one slams into Peo, hurling him backwards. A Diet Pepsi can falls onto his face and breaks, soaking him.)

Finite: Okay, let's go.

(cut to another room)

Kiss: Give me the access codes to the Lion mainframe! We have ways of making you talk!

Morphbus: Never!

Kiss: You made me do this!

(he takes out a magnifying glass and holds it up to the window. The sunlight streams in and hits Morphbus in the face.)

Morphbus: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(cut to lobby)

(Finite walks through the metal detector. It beeps. She shows the guard her "guns." As he's distracted, Peo clubs him in the head with a baseball bat.)

Peo: Sucka!

(Guards rush forward and begin firing on Peo and Finite. Peo starts dancing and waving his thong around. The guards scream and cover their eyes, falling to the ground. Finite shoots them.)

Peo: That was easy!

(the elevator beeps and twenty more guards come out.)

Peo: Damn.

(they all start shooting. Miraculously, not a bullet hits Peo or Finite as they lay waste to the security people. Peo takes a grazing shot on his thigh and it knocks his thong off. The guards start screaming and gouging out their eyes. Finite runs up a wall and shoots them. As they die, they yell out thanks.)

Peo: We win! Rebels, five. Machines, zero.

Finite: Did you forget the fact that they have Morphbus and have killed off most of our crew?

Peo: Right.

(they walk into an elevator and head towards the roof.)

(cut to the interrogation room)

Kiss: Leave me alone with him.

(Not Important and Slightly More Important but Still Not Important walk out. Kiss walks over and stands by the window.)

Kiss: Did you know the first Matrix we designed was a perfect world? There was no pain or death. It was designed so you humans would be happy. It was a disaster. Entire crops were lost.

Morphbus: Ha ha.

Kiss: SHUT UP! (shoots him in the foot)

Morphbus: OH CRAP!

(Kiss takes the thong radio out of his ear and walks over to Morphbus.)

Kiss: Give me the codes so I can get the hell out of the Matrix!

Morphbus: Never!

Kiss: You asked for it.

(cut to the lobby)

(the elevator explodes.)

(cut to the roof)

(Finite and Peo are running towards the door when Agent Slightly More Important but Still Not Important attacks them. Peo fires but Slightly More Important but Still Not Important dodges every bullet.)

Peo: Wow! You told me he would do that, yet I'm still shocked!

Finite: Shut up.

(Slightly More Important but Still Not Important fires at Peo. Peo dodges the first two bullets but the third a fourth ones graze him, knocking off his thong.)

Slightly More Important but Still Not Important: MY EYES! AIE! (starts clawing at his face.)

Finite: Dodge this! (shoots him.)

(cut to the room)

(the lights go off and the window shades come down. A disco ball lowers from the ceiling and starts flashing. Kiss walks over and stands in front of Morphbus.)

Kiss: Cue music!

Music: Bamp chicka bamp chicka womp wamp chicka…

(Kiss begins to dance. He drops his glasses on the floor. Slowly, he removed his suit and unbuttons his undershirt. He rips his jeans off, revealing a tan thong. He begins dancing up close to Morphbus's face.)

Morphbus: I'll…never…tell…

(Kiss moves up and rubs his thong against Morphbus's head. The sprinklers come on and Kiss's thong dissolve. Not Important and Slightly More Important but Still Not Important walk in.)

Slightly More Important but Still Not Important: What are you doing?

Kiss: Interrogation?