OK! I have a big announcement to make. This is going to be kind of a spoiler for those of you who don't know too much about the episodes that Cartoon Network has let to release, But I advise you read it anyway. The following is a quote by Inuyasha, who, after finding out that Kikyo had taken the jewel shards she stole from Kagome, she had given them to Naraku. He thinks about Kikyo, and this is what he says.
"Kikyo handed Naraku the Shikon Shards."
"Kikyo, Who died once."
"Kikyo, who was made again from clay."
"Kikyo, who hates me."
"Kikyo, who tried to kill Kagome."
"Where are you....."
"My Kikyo."
ARG! I just wanted to kill him for saying those things!!!! Kikyo does so much to him, but he still loves her!!! DIE KIKYO!!!!!!
Ok..sorry.. I had to get that out of my system. Now.. on with the story.
*****
Past vs. Future: Inuyasha's Love
*****
Chapter 5: Feelings
*last time*
Inuyasha sighed and looked down at the ground. His voice grew sad. "Kagome. We need to talk." He looked up at her.
She seemed shocked but she nodded. She came and sat beside him on the bed, looking down at her hands.
She sighed. *I guess we had to get this over with sooner or later* she thought to herself. She closed her eyes shut tight. "Alright, Inuyasha. I'm listening."
Inuyasha looked at her afraid of what to say, and how to say it. He took a deep breath and started from the beginning.
******************
"Kagome, when I first met you, you were rubbing my ears."
Kagome gasped. "You knew I was doing that?"
He grinned. "Yah. And it felt kinda nice. It was your touch that woke me up from that tree." He sighed. "Anyway, I hated you. you looked and smelt like Kikyo, the women who I thought had betrayed me. And to make matter worse, Keade made me help you look for the jewel shards."
Kagome smiled. "She didn't make you. You knew you had to if you really wanted to become full demon."
Inuyasha nodded. "That, too." He took a breath. "I owed Kikyo a lot. She had died hating me. I had died hating her, sorta. When she was reborn, I had no idea what to think. I mean, there was Kikyo, the person I....I..." he gulped, "used to love."
Kagome lost her smile as small amounts of tears came to her eyes. "Inuyasha, I know you loved her, and even after her death a few days ago, I know you still do. It's hard to forget someone you love." Very quietly she said, "I would know."
Inuyasha's sensitive hearing picked it up, but he didn't acknowledge that he had heard it.
"Look, Kagome. I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry." She looked up at him in surprise and he continued. "I may have owed Kikyo a lot, but I should never have left you hurt like that. My first responsibility should have been you. If the wound had been worse, I could have lost you, too."
Kagome shook her head. "No, Inuyasha. I'm the one that should be sorry. I felt hurt when you left me there, but, I realized afterward that I was the one that was wrong. I know you couldn't have just left her there, but the pain didn't lessen, and I'm ashamed of that."
Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him. "Don't feel ashamed!" he said, looking into her eyes. "It was a no win situation, Kagome. I was hurt, you were hurt, Kikyo was dead."
Kagome nodded looking away. "I heard what she said before she died. She asked you to get the rest of her soul back. MY soul. And you refused. Why?"
Inuyasha pulled her into a hug, her face resting on his chest. "You stupid woman, I would never willing give the rest of your soul to her. Don't you see? It is your soul. It is Kagome. Kikyo died a long time ago. She left everything she had to you. But she was full of hate for me, that she couldn't see it."
Kagome cried into his chest at his words. "Why did you always run back to her? I saw you so many times, and it hurt, it hurt to see you with her."
Inuyasha was slightly shocked. *Why does she hurt so much because of me? Does she...really love me?*
Inuyasha rubbed the back of the crying girls head. "Shh, Kagome. I was confused. I had no idea what to do or think. I owed Kikyo so much and I felt it was my responsibility to take care of her."
Kagome only nodded and pulled away from the half demon. "I know." She walked over to her dresser leaving Inuyasha on her bed. She looked at the picture of them. How happy they all were, except for Inuyasha, who always looked mad.
*Why can't I say it!?* he mentally yelled at himself. He watched her just stare off into the picture on her dresser. He sighed. He had to do it. It was now or never.
He sighed and stood up. She didn't even notice as he put his arms around her from behind and laid his head on top of her hair, breathing in her scent.
Kagome tired to look up at him, very surprised by his actions. *He's holding me!* The weight of his head on top of hers prevented her from even getting a glimpse of him. "Inu...yasha...? What?"
"Kagome," Inuyasha whispered into her hair. Even without his demon senses that night, he could still smell Kagome's scent. She was beautiful. "I know your not Kikyo. She left me. I loved her, and she left me." Kagome tensed but said nothing. "I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen. I didn't want to hurt again." He paused. He turned her towards him holding onto her tight as her head rested on his chest. "I was denying myself, trying to fight it. But after Kikyo died, and me and Miroku had our talk, he made me realize that getting hurt and loving is better then living with the guilt of never doing anything at all."
"Inuyasha... what are you trying to say to me?" Tears were forming in her eyes.
"I need you, Kagome. I don't want you to ever leave me. But I'm afraid you will. I'm afraid that after the jewel shards are collected, you'll come back here to stay and the well will be closed forever. I'm afraid that we may not have a choice once all the shards are collected. I don't want to loose any time I have with you in case everything turns out for the worse." He pulled her at arms length and looked into her eyes.
"Inuyasha... I..."
"No. Don't answer. We'll see what happens when the shards are collected. Until then, that is one question that needs to remain unanswered. Just please tell me we can spend all the time we can together until that day arrives."
She nodded. Her tears are dried up slightly. "I promise, Inuyasha."
He grinned at her and pulled her into a tight hug. He rested his mouth by her ear as they hugged. "I love you, Kagome," he whispered, then all was quiet, all was still.
The next thing Inuyasha knew was that Kagome was crying. She was sobbing into his chest and he didn't know why. But he knew he was the cause of it, again.
"Why are you crying?" he asked concerned, pulled her away to look at her.
She looked up at her, her tears falling freely. "Cause you said it, Inuyasha." She sniffed. "I've been dreaming of you saying it for months now."
"You have!?" he asked surprised, his eyes wide.
She nodded. "I have. I've dreamt of what it would be like for us to be together. I always hopped. I love you, Inuyasha. Since the day I found you pinned to the God Tree, I've loved you." Her eyes went downcast. "But you loved Kikyo and you were always so mean to me. All those times we were together... I just thought you saw me as Kikyo."
Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders gently and made her look up at him. "At first I saw Kikyo, I didn't know what else to see. But as I got to know you, Kikyo no longer existed. I saw only Kagome. Only you."
She nodded with a smile and threw herself in his arms. "Oh, Inuyasha!"
He pulled her slightly away and covered the distance between them. The feel of her warm lips on his made his heart melt. She was so dainty in his arms. So fragile that he wanted nothing more then to protect her always.
She sighed against his lips. She was in heaven. But then a thought hit her. She pulled away to look at him. "Inuyasha. Are you sure you know what your saying? Your human now. What if it's just..."
He hushed her by placing another kiss on her lips, the kiss deepening. When they finally pulled away for air he said, "My human heart is speaking these words to you, Kagome, but my demon brain is telling them what to say. Every part of me loves you. I'll die to protect you wither I'm human, half demon, or full demon. Remember that."
She nodded. "I don't ever want you to change, Inuyasha. When we collect all the jewel pieces, I don't want you to become full demon, and I don't want you to become human. I love you as the half breed you are."
He smiled slightly. "Your the first, Kagome."
"And I'm not the last," she said smiling. She yawned.
He nodded then picked her up bridal style and carried her to her bed.
"But I'm not tired," she wined as he placed her under the covers.
"Fptt. Like hell you aren't." He covered her up then sat on the end of her bed watching her.
She smiled at him and rolled over on her side. "Inuyasha..."
"Go to sleep," he interrupted her.
She nodded, but stayed in her current position, both staring at each other.
After a few minutes Inuyasha grew irritated. "What?"
Kagome smiled as she scooted away from him. She looked him in the eye, "Could you... sleep beside me tonight, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha stared blankly at her.
"Just to sleep," Kagome added quickly, seeing the half demon's reaction.
He grinned and nodded, getting into the bed beside her. He turned to sleep on his side, one arm draping over Kagome to hold her tight against him.
He nuzzled his face into her head and relaxed. "I just better not get a slap in the face," he paused thinking, :"or a sit, when you wake up beside a half demon."
She yawned and tried to push herself closer to him. "Of course not." Then she drifted into slumber land.
Inuyasha looked at her sleeping form. Her warm body against his, the smile that played her lips as she slept. This was what he wanted. This is what he needed. He had no more fear. "My Kagome." He closed his eyes and fell asleep beside the sleeping girl.
Unknown to them as they slept, a figure walked into the room and smiled. She tucked the covers in around the two sleeping figures in the bed, making sure not to wake them. Then she went to her own room, hoping she would be able to see the puppies before it was all over.
***
WOW! What a kawii chapter!! No! This is not the end of it! I have at least one more chapter to do. And yes, there will be a sequel! I have so many INU fic ideas, that I'm just going to make them sequels, instead of making completely different stories! It's funnier this way.
Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I've been real busy. I never have the time to write mush anymore. And kazaa is pissing me off b/c episode 46 of Inuyasha isn't downloading!! ARG! I need to watch INUYASHA!!! Darn cartoon network! Get more episodes!!
Anyway.. that is it for this chapter. I'm hoping I'll have the next one up my next Friday. I HOPE! Anyway... that is all! JA!
~~Sil Sil~~
"Kikyo handed Naraku the Shikon Shards."
"Kikyo, Who died once."
"Kikyo, who was made again from clay."
"Kikyo, who hates me."
"Kikyo, who tried to kill Kagome."
"Where are you....."
"My Kikyo."
ARG! I just wanted to kill him for saying those things!!!! Kikyo does so much to him, but he still loves her!!! DIE KIKYO!!!!!!
Ok..sorry.. I had to get that out of my system. Now.. on with the story.
*****
Past vs. Future: Inuyasha's Love
*****
Chapter 5: Feelings
*last time*
Inuyasha sighed and looked down at the ground. His voice grew sad. "Kagome. We need to talk." He looked up at her.
She seemed shocked but she nodded. She came and sat beside him on the bed, looking down at her hands.
She sighed. *I guess we had to get this over with sooner or later* she thought to herself. She closed her eyes shut tight. "Alright, Inuyasha. I'm listening."
Inuyasha looked at her afraid of what to say, and how to say it. He took a deep breath and started from the beginning.
******************
"Kagome, when I first met you, you were rubbing my ears."
Kagome gasped. "You knew I was doing that?"
He grinned. "Yah. And it felt kinda nice. It was your touch that woke me up from that tree." He sighed. "Anyway, I hated you. you looked and smelt like Kikyo, the women who I thought had betrayed me. And to make matter worse, Keade made me help you look for the jewel shards."
Kagome smiled. "She didn't make you. You knew you had to if you really wanted to become full demon."
Inuyasha nodded. "That, too." He took a breath. "I owed Kikyo a lot. She had died hating me. I had died hating her, sorta. When she was reborn, I had no idea what to think. I mean, there was Kikyo, the person I....I..." he gulped, "used to love."
Kagome lost her smile as small amounts of tears came to her eyes. "Inuyasha, I know you loved her, and even after her death a few days ago, I know you still do. It's hard to forget someone you love." Very quietly she said, "I would know."
Inuyasha's sensitive hearing picked it up, but he didn't acknowledge that he had heard it.
"Look, Kagome. I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry." She looked up at him in surprise and he continued. "I may have owed Kikyo a lot, but I should never have left you hurt like that. My first responsibility should have been you. If the wound had been worse, I could have lost you, too."
Kagome shook her head. "No, Inuyasha. I'm the one that should be sorry. I felt hurt when you left me there, but, I realized afterward that I was the one that was wrong. I know you couldn't have just left her there, but the pain didn't lessen, and I'm ashamed of that."
Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him. "Don't feel ashamed!" he said, looking into her eyes. "It was a no win situation, Kagome. I was hurt, you were hurt, Kikyo was dead."
Kagome nodded looking away. "I heard what she said before she died. She asked you to get the rest of her soul back. MY soul. And you refused. Why?"
Inuyasha pulled her into a hug, her face resting on his chest. "You stupid woman, I would never willing give the rest of your soul to her. Don't you see? It is your soul. It is Kagome. Kikyo died a long time ago. She left everything she had to you. But she was full of hate for me, that she couldn't see it."
Kagome cried into his chest at his words. "Why did you always run back to her? I saw you so many times, and it hurt, it hurt to see you with her."
Inuyasha was slightly shocked. *Why does she hurt so much because of me? Does she...really love me?*
Inuyasha rubbed the back of the crying girls head. "Shh, Kagome. I was confused. I had no idea what to do or think. I owed Kikyo so much and I felt it was my responsibility to take care of her."
Kagome only nodded and pulled away from the half demon. "I know." She walked over to her dresser leaving Inuyasha on her bed. She looked at the picture of them. How happy they all were, except for Inuyasha, who always looked mad.
*Why can't I say it!?* he mentally yelled at himself. He watched her just stare off into the picture on her dresser. He sighed. He had to do it. It was now or never.
He sighed and stood up. She didn't even notice as he put his arms around her from behind and laid his head on top of her hair, breathing in her scent.
Kagome tired to look up at him, very surprised by his actions. *He's holding me!* The weight of his head on top of hers prevented her from even getting a glimpse of him. "Inu...yasha...? What?"
"Kagome," Inuyasha whispered into her hair. Even without his demon senses that night, he could still smell Kagome's scent. She was beautiful. "I know your not Kikyo. She left me. I loved her, and she left me." Kagome tensed but said nothing. "I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen. I didn't want to hurt again." He paused. He turned her towards him holding onto her tight as her head rested on his chest. "I was denying myself, trying to fight it. But after Kikyo died, and me and Miroku had our talk, he made me realize that getting hurt and loving is better then living with the guilt of never doing anything at all."
"Inuyasha... what are you trying to say to me?" Tears were forming in her eyes.
"I need you, Kagome. I don't want you to ever leave me. But I'm afraid you will. I'm afraid that after the jewel shards are collected, you'll come back here to stay and the well will be closed forever. I'm afraid that we may not have a choice once all the shards are collected. I don't want to loose any time I have with you in case everything turns out for the worse." He pulled her at arms length and looked into her eyes.
"Inuyasha... I..."
"No. Don't answer. We'll see what happens when the shards are collected. Until then, that is one question that needs to remain unanswered. Just please tell me we can spend all the time we can together until that day arrives."
She nodded. Her tears are dried up slightly. "I promise, Inuyasha."
He grinned at her and pulled her into a tight hug. He rested his mouth by her ear as they hugged. "I love you, Kagome," he whispered, then all was quiet, all was still.
The next thing Inuyasha knew was that Kagome was crying. She was sobbing into his chest and he didn't know why. But he knew he was the cause of it, again.
"Why are you crying?" he asked concerned, pulled her away to look at her.
She looked up at her, her tears falling freely. "Cause you said it, Inuyasha." She sniffed. "I've been dreaming of you saying it for months now."
"You have!?" he asked surprised, his eyes wide.
She nodded. "I have. I've dreamt of what it would be like for us to be together. I always hopped. I love you, Inuyasha. Since the day I found you pinned to the God Tree, I've loved you." Her eyes went downcast. "But you loved Kikyo and you were always so mean to me. All those times we were together... I just thought you saw me as Kikyo."
Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders gently and made her look up at him. "At first I saw Kikyo, I didn't know what else to see. But as I got to know you, Kikyo no longer existed. I saw only Kagome. Only you."
She nodded with a smile and threw herself in his arms. "Oh, Inuyasha!"
He pulled her slightly away and covered the distance between them. The feel of her warm lips on his made his heart melt. She was so dainty in his arms. So fragile that he wanted nothing more then to protect her always.
She sighed against his lips. She was in heaven. But then a thought hit her. She pulled away to look at him. "Inuyasha. Are you sure you know what your saying? Your human now. What if it's just..."
He hushed her by placing another kiss on her lips, the kiss deepening. When they finally pulled away for air he said, "My human heart is speaking these words to you, Kagome, but my demon brain is telling them what to say. Every part of me loves you. I'll die to protect you wither I'm human, half demon, or full demon. Remember that."
She nodded. "I don't ever want you to change, Inuyasha. When we collect all the jewel pieces, I don't want you to become full demon, and I don't want you to become human. I love you as the half breed you are."
He smiled slightly. "Your the first, Kagome."
"And I'm not the last," she said smiling. She yawned.
He nodded then picked her up bridal style and carried her to her bed.
"But I'm not tired," she wined as he placed her under the covers.
"Fptt. Like hell you aren't." He covered her up then sat on the end of her bed watching her.
She smiled at him and rolled over on her side. "Inuyasha..."
"Go to sleep," he interrupted her.
She nodded, but stayed in her current position, both staring at each other.
After a few minutes Inuyasha grew irritated. "What?"
Kagome smiled as she scooted away from him. She looked him in the eye, "Could you... sleep beside me tonight, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha stared blankly at her.
"Just to sleep," Kagome added quickly, seeing the half demon's reaction.
He grinned and nodded, getting into the bed beside her. He turned to sleep on his side, one arm draping over Kagome to hold her tight against him.
He nuzzled his face into her head and relaxed. "I just better not get a slap in the face," he paused thinking, :"or a sit, when you wake up beside a half demon."
She yawned and tried to push herself closer to him. "Of course not." Then she drifted into slumber land.
Inuyasha looked at her sleeping form. Her warm body against his, the smile that played her lips as she slept. This was what he wanted. This is what he needed. He had no more fear. "My Kagome." He closed his eyes and fell asleep beside the sleeping girl.
Unknown to them as they slept, a figure walked into the room and smiled. She tucked the covers in around the two sleeping figures in the bed, making sure not to wake them. Then she went to her own room, hoping she would be able to see the puppies before it was all over.
***
WOW! What a kawii chapter!! No! This is not the end of it! I have at least one more chapter to do. And yes, there will be a sequel! I have so many INU fic ideas, that I'm just going to make them sequels, instead of making completely different stories! It's funnier this way.
Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I've been real busy. I never have the time to write mush anymore. And kazaa is pissing me off b/c episode 46 of Inuyasha isn't downloading!! ARG! I need to watch INUYASHA!!! Darn cartoon network! Get more episodes!!
Anyway.. that is it for this chapter. I'm hoping I'll have the next one up my next Friday. I HOPE! Anyway... that is all! JA!
~~Sil Sil~~