A/N: Um… I sort of gleaned the idea out of Kira-Kura's "Contrast." She said something about the two sides of a coin, and while I'm sure it was just an alliteration (thus this is not plagiarism), I figured I'd mention it. Speaking of, read that fic, it's unexpectedly good; not that she's a bad writer… that came out wrong, all wrong. Anyway, read it.
Just to let you know, this is more of an introspective look through some characters than anything with a 'let's-go-beat-the-bad-guys' plot. It's good and that, and there is a little bit of story telling (it's not as bad as uBakura Diaries/u, I promise), but it's mainly character emotions etc. To that end, the timeline is screwy. I said something about it taking place shortly after Duelist kingdom, but Malik's in this one…. (I just like him, leave me alone), so everything is just a little off.
Disclaimers: I don't own Yugi-oh (I'm not rich enough…. Damn money~!), and I don't own quarters (the game or the coinage), so leave be, don't sue. I don't have money anyway… you see, I'm either broke, in debt, or in the process of spending (holes in my pockets… that's it), so if you sue, you'll get a lot of junk, but nothing worth while (unless a Kuro-neko bobble head is worth while….) I'm babbling.
Warnings: Aside from a few choice words, and the bit where Bakura and Malik get drunk and screw like rabbits (nothing explicit, I promise), there really are no warnings…. It's not even really angsty…
!~ON TO THE FIC~!
~*~
The two sides of a coin can never meet. They may be aware of each other, they may infer from other coins the nature of their other sides, but two sides of a coin can never know each other for what they are. ~Hyde
~Coin~
Ryou was idly spinning a quarter on an empty cafeteria table. He would have been playing with someone else, scraping the hell out of his knuckles with the twenty-five cent piece, but he was all alone in the large room waiting for class to end. It wasn't the first time he'd skipped his last class. By the end of the day, he was so sick of seeing the smiling faces that he could scream, so he avoided them instead. Tomorrow morning Yugi would ask him what had happened, he would turn his bright shining eyes, full of concern, on to the other hikari, and Ryou would have to come up with some pathetic excuse. Sometimes he really hated his life.
The hikari would have just left, it was his last class of the day, but he didn't want to deal with the narks that were constantly guarding the doors. He didn't have the energy to avoid them, and he didn't have the strength of will to openly defy them at the moment. Ryou was so tired lately, he just wanted to sleep all the time, lock himself in his room with bunches of unhappy people, and wallow in his misery. He wasn't even miserable per-se, just bored. Bored with life, bored with his friends: entropic.
The bell rang, releasing him from hell for all of sixteen hours. He got up, pocketed the quarter, and slung his bag over his shoulder. He'd go out a back door, down by the music rooms – those were generally empty for a few minutes. It's not that he didn't like Yugi, of whom he was trying to steer clear; he just couldn't stand being near him all the time. Yugi was like eating M&M's, a few of them at a time is great, they melt in your mouth and hit the spot, heaven via chocolate; but if you eat too many at a time, they're really quite disgusting. Something like saccharine: cancer causing sugar.
Ryou trudged home. He both loved and hated the fall weather. It was like the constant cloud cover really wanted to rain, but couldn't. Constipated clouds; Ryou couldn't help but laugh, but it was bitter and short. Everything was always so cold, and dry, the wind blew dust and leaves across the streets, and scattered the mold of rotting leaves everywhere, causing both allergies and general discomfort. He hated the dusty seasons, Summer and Fall, they weren't very nice to him either. Ryou laughed again, it was a conspiracy against him. As the hikari mocked himself in his own head, he began to realize just how cracked he really was; maybe this dreary weather was right for him.
Ryou reached the door of his apartment, his feet having automatically taken him there, and sighed unhappily. Every once in a while it would be nice to talk to someone, talk at someone, complain at someone; maybe he should pick up journaling. Ryou took a deep breath and straightened up, pretending for pretending's sake that he could do more than stare at his feet and sigh heavily. Ryou tried to pretend that he had the strength and motivation to hold his head up and square his shoulders. He put on what looked like a genuine smile and tried to remember what it felt like to be happy so he could mimic it, then pushed the door open.
~*~
Yugi pouted in his mind room, not at all inclined to play with the toys that were scattered around the room. In fact, Yugi hadn't considered playing with anything since he was nine years old, it was more than a little ridiculous; if anything, Yugi just wanted to pick the damned things up and throw them in a bin, but they wouldn't budge.
Yami casually strolled in, grinning at the sight of his hikari sitting amongst the harmless playthings. It was so good to know that this perfectly sweet person was a part of him; it was reassuring because he felt that through Yugi, some of his innocence had been retained. Yugi looked up and smiled welcomingly, Yami was always admitted to Yugi's space freely, another thing the yami was grateful for.
"Hi." The hikari chirped, Yami's presence wasn't unexpected or unappreciated, Yugi was getting lonely.
Yami summoned a chair, using his knowledge of the spirit and psychic world to easily assume control over Yugi's mind room. He sat in this chair with a comfortable sigh; it was so good to be off his feet, even if they were mental ones. The yami was so worn out; duelist kingdom had nearly killed him. He never would have admitted that little detail to Yugi, but dueling in the shadow realm had wiped the energy right out of him, and he was just now recovering. His small and precious hikari would never have the burden of knowing that though. "Hey."
"Have you noticed something funny about Ryou lately?" Yugi started in, going straight to his point without any ado.
Yami wanted to put his head between his head and rub at the headache he could feel coming on. Yugi was on another rescue mission, it was endearing the way his hikari wanted to solve the world's problems, but Yami was less inclined to care. "I haven't really noticed anything." He said carefully.
"Really? Because he's been missing a lot of class lately, and he's really quiet, so I'm worried about him."
The expression on Yugi's face was so open and willing to listen to him, so that Yami couldn't help but smile. "I suppose he's been rather irresponsible lately, but I don't think it's any cause for concern. We've all been under stress lately." He said gently.
Yugi seemed to consider this very carefully, gently gnawing on his lower lip. "You're probably right." He said at last, tentatively treading the ground between arguing with his Yami and worrying about his friend. "I'll ask him about it tomorrow though, just to be sure."
There was nothing Yami could do to stop his aibou from trying to solve the world's woes, but he tried anyway, "Just be careful. If Ryou is having problems with something, I don't want you getting in over your head."
~*~
When Yami left, Yugi once again tried to clean up his mind room, but failed. It both pleased and frustrated him that Yami just instantly took control of a situation. He loved that Yami was so strong, he never doubted himself, he never faltered, and he was always so straight forward with his intentions. Yugi could fully appreciate the strength with which Yami held his life together, but he also felt the need to rail against that quiet confidence with everything he had. Yami instantly took control of him, never letting him solve his own problems or escape the traps he got himself into. He would never learn to live on his own with the yami's constant presence and overprotective guard.
Sometimes Yugi couldn't stand the constant, overbearing presence in his life. It was by no means better before his yami entered the scene, though he was just earning himself friends and a semi-normal life. Yami was his backbone; yami was the one who got rid of the nastier things in life, sheltering him from anything remotely dangerous or even risqué. Yugi wouldn't give him up for the world, but he also wanted a life.
Eventually, Yugi washed his hands of trying to straighten up his mind room and took a nap, the effort was entirely wasted, and he was sleepy!
~*~
Ryou didn't even bother taking off his shoes, he just dragged his dusty shoes across the carpet, instantly sinking into his mind room. Before Ryou had even had the time to blink, he was assaulted by his yami, who inadvertently knocked him over in his haste. "Yes?" Ryou asked from the floor of his mind, "is there something I can do for you?"
"Can I have the body tonight?"
Ryou couldn't help himself, he started laughing. That statement was just so random and incongruent. It suddenly occurred to him what Bakura looked like in that moment; he looked like a teenager that was begging his parents for use of the family car. "What got a date?"
Bakura snarled and kicked him in the knee. It didn't really hurt the hikari, but it got the point across; if Ryou continued to tease, Bakura would be more than happy to do a lot worse. "Fine." He muttered, "You can have it, just bring it back in decent shape."
Bakura actually smiled at him, apparently he was really excited about the having control of the body tonight. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked, instead, given half an opportunity, he would have wrenched control from Ryou; but Ryou would have fought back and probably would have woken up at a very inopportune moment. The hikari's eyes widened in realization as he blushed; his body may not have been a virgin (the fallacy of sharing it with Bakura), but he was. "Just don't bring it back with any STD's." He mumbled as he pushed himself to his feet. Even as his body was resting on the comfortable leather couch, the mental version of himself was about to collapse from weariness.
Before he knew what had happened, he was sprawled out on the ground again, clutching his stinging nose with Bakura standing over him. Ryou groaned in pain, his yami had quite the jab. His nose bleeding profusely, Ryou once again pushed himself into a sitting position, "Bastard." He spat laughingly, spraying blood at his yami. The pain was minimal, and the injury imagined in the attempt to make Bakura feel bad, that was the good and bad thing about mental injury (or in Bakura's case abuse), it never showed up in the physical world. "I ought to oust you out of my body during your date just to spite you." He joked. Bakura was a type of misery that he was not only used to, but was amused by.
"You will do no such thing." Bakura said firmly, managing to be panicked and emotionless at the same time, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Ryou smiled up at him, banishing the blood from his face, and nodded at him reassuringly, he would never follow through on that threat. He preferred to not know what Bakura was up to when he went out.
Bakura marched off confidently and Ryou flopped backwards on the ground prepared to take a nap right there, but not before once again muttering, "Bastard. He doesn't care about anything."
~*~
Bakura laughed coldly as he gulped down another burning shot of amber liquid. This was something his gentle, perfect little hikari would never imagine doing; this was just the sort of thing that he lived for. He was lying on Malik's large bed, downing tequila whenever he felt like it. He and Malik had already gone through the vodka, and when the tequila was gone, they'd move on to rum and coke. It didn't matter to them that those particular drinks didn't mix very well, or that they'd both be sick as dogs in the morning; they were living for the moment. Not that watching porn and drinking until you no longer able to even sit up is much of a life, but it was acceptable.
"Thith ith givin me idears koi." Malik slurred, gesturing wildly to the television set that was currently moaning in pleasure. Bakura rolled towards him growling, he hated being called 'koi,' Malik needed to be punished.
"Really?" he asked, perfectly in control of his verbal skills if not his inhibitions or motor skills.
Malik nodded and gave him a sloppy kiss and crawled on top of him. Bakura gave into the alcohol and the physical impulses, letting Malik take control in what promised to be some incredible, if drunken, sex. Bakura laughed again, his hikari would definitely not approve of this, and the little twerp was so pure it was disgusting. Bakura loved this; Ryou couldn't have been more wrong in assuming that he was totally apathetic. The yami actually enjoyed causing Ryou discomfort, he reveled in seeing how the boy would deal with everything he put him through. He actually liked watching what Ryou did, and he liked being fucked by the sexiest man in the world; as far as Bakura was concerned, it was a win-win situation.
~*~
Yugi was worried now - that is to say, Yugi was always worried - but today he was particularly worried. Ryou wasn't in class at all, was he sick, was he hurt, was he lying dead in a gutter somewhere? He'd looked so down when Yugi saw him walking home, he looked like his back was broken and his head was too heavy to hold up. All day Yugi was looking around the class room like he'd missed Ryou's entrance though he'd been watching the door like a hawk watches a rabbit.
More than he was worried, Yugi was disappointed, but deeply buried amongst the feelings of panic and betrayal, was jealousy. He would have given an arm and a leg to find the courage to just not show up to class. Jou did it all the time, but Jou had a record of long standing rebellion. Yugi was afraid that if he decided that he didn't want to go, that everyone would be angry with him. He wanted nothing more than to break all the rules and defy every person he'd ever known. His grandfather would be severely disappointed, and his teachers would be concerned for his well being, but Yugi didn't care. This was math, the worst, most boring, painful class in his entire schedule, including phys. ed.
Making a quick decision, Yugi shoved his text book in his bag, and left the class room without saying a word, leaving his teacher flabbergasted.
After class, he met Jou outside the blonde's locker, Jou, as expected, having taken it upon him self to make Yugi a rebel, was extremely proud, though a bit shocked. "Wow Yug." He drawled, "that was unexpected, you shoulda seen the teacher's face! He stood there gaping like a fish!"
"Had I been able to see the teachers face, Jounouchi," Yugi said coolly, "he wouldn't have made it, would he?"
"Uh, no." Jou gulped, it was never a good thing when Yugi called him Jounouchi. He wisely backed off of the subject and moved on, "So, there's gonna be a little shindig at Honda's, wanna come?"
Yugi nodded towards the affirmative, why not, he needed a little fun in his life right?
~*~
Ryou woke up and the first thing he failed to notice was the tan arm that was wrapped around his torso. He had a splitting headache, his vision was blurry, and he would love nothing more than to kill himself. He had been in this situation before, waking up with one or many of Bakura's lovers wrapped possessively around him. He tried to move, intent on finding a bathroom before the minimal contents of his stomach exited violently, but the arm tightened.
"Mmm, Ba-koi… stay." The stranger next to him moaned, unconsciously grinding his hips against Ryou.
Ryou glared at the sleeping face of Malik and said in his best impression of Bakura, "Not likely Ishtar." Malik rolled off of him with a mumbled complaint, then curled up and started snoring.
Ryou stumbled towards what he assumed was a bathroom, thankfully it was, because the moment he reached the pristine white toilet, everything that was inside his seething stomach had to get out; fast. He spat the last of the regurgitated tequila out of his mouth, having rinsed it out with some water from the sink. He couldn't drink any, that would only make things worse, but he hated the way his mouth felt. Ryou considered using Malik's toothbrush, but thought better of it, who knew what was on that thing? Disgusting!
The hikari made his way out of the room and downstairs, leaning heavily against the furniture and banisters. He accidentally ran into Isis as she was crossing the front hall, but was too sick to blush. She raised an eyebrow at him but didn't say a word, just stared until Ryou spat, "Yamis!" as an explanation. Malik's older sister nodded sagely; there was a muscle in Ryou's cheek that was twitching angrily as he was led to the kitchen by the indulgent woman.
"Would you like some breakfast?" She asked smugly.
Ryou blanched.
The woman laughed, she remembered the hang-over days of her youth, they were not pleasant. She handed Ryou a few pills for his aching head, then forced a piece of bread and a few sips of a Bloody Mary down his throat. Ryou knew that she was trying to help, but the thought of food was so repulsive to him that he backed away on instinct. Isis kept on laughing, had it been Ryou's yami that stumbled his way down the stairs she would have made him walk home. As it was, she offered Ryou a ride which he gladly accepted; it didn't help that he was in his boxers. Walking home would have been a bitch.
When Ryou got home he downed half the bottle of Tylenol, brushed his teeth, and fell into bed. His brain felt like it would explode any moment, and his stomach was churning on the bread and cocktail that Isis made him consume.
He'd been asleep for about two hours when his phone rang. The typically-pleasant sound felt like it would split his head in two. Ryou winced in his sleep, then woke up; the damn phone was so loud it made his teeth ring. The hikari had the handset in a death grip by the time it reached his ear. "Hello?" he said groggily?
"Where were you today?" Yugi's voice blasted at him from the other end.
Ryou glared at the wall imagining it was Yugi; the master duelist had a habit of calling at the worst possible moments. He wanted nothing more than to hang up on the insipid little twerp, but then Yugi would just come over, and that would make things worse. "Sleeping off Bakura's hangover." He spat viciously, "or trying to."
"I was just calling to check that you weren't dead in a ditch somewhere." Yugi said tersely, "there's a party at Honda's if you see fit to come." Then he hung up.
Ryou elicited a half whining, half laughing moan that sounded more like a sick cat than anything a human would make. He shoved his head under his pillow and tried to fall asleep again but failed when Bakura yelled at him the moment he entered his mind room.
The yami wasn't upset about anything in particular, just life. His head hurt, and he was blaming Ryou, though it was entirely his fault. Ryou rolled over, onto his back; there would be no more sleep for the pained hikari today. He got up and moved to take a shower, noticing for the first time how sore he really was, "I suppose you were rough on purpose." He said bitterly, then continued to mutter about how he should stop letting Malik be on top.
Bakura smirked knowingly and Ryou glared daggers at him as he mechanically showered. With a supremely smug look on his angular face, Bakura cooed, "Aw, dowes da widdle baby have a boo boo? Dowes he want me to kiss it and make it all bettew?"
The yami was expecting Ryou to blush, he was far too innocent to be kissed where he was hurting but instead Ryou said, "Only if you promise to use your tongue." Bakura gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing like a particularly stupid fish's. Ryou rolled his eyes at him, "What, you didn't think that after all the time you spend snogging and screwing other people that I would stay totally oblivious. Not even you're that stupid."
Bakura was stunned beyond belief. That Ryou had managed to surprise him was in and of itself an amazing feat, but the fact that he'd casually mentioned Bakura's sexual habits was mind boggling. He didn't even stutter! Bakura shook his head and chalked his hikari's bizarre statement up to the headache and the residual effects of the alcohol. He really had nothing to say, so he stayed silent and shrugged, letting Ryou make what he would out of it.
Ryou spat. His yami was such a cold fish, it was nearly impossible to gauge his reaction. Bakura had just stared impassively at him. Ryou sighed and finished getting ready for the little get-together at Honda's. He really needed to come up with better material if he was going to get anything out of Bakura. "I might as well be the hikari of a log." He muttered to himself.
~*~
On the other end of the phone Yugi was also spitting, it wasn't his fault that Ryou was hung-over; Ryou had no need to bite his head off. He stormed in his mind, taking his frustrations out on the ever-solid Yami. Yugi was so angry with his fellow hikari that he didn't notice as the hours slipped by; before he knew it, the room was as dark as the sky. He hadn't done his homework, but given that he'd marched out of class earlier that day, homework seemed like a small loss despite the shock it would give his teachers. He quickly ran a brush through his thick and wild hair though it did no good, then strolled out the door still grumbling about rude people with white hair.
The wind was whipping up loose dirt and sand from all over the neighborhood, rustling the multicolored leaves at his feet and giving the empty streets a ghost-town feel. The lone teen made his way towards Honda's home, the occasionally passerby avoided the leather clad boy with a scowl on his face, and that was just as well because Yugi was in no mood to confront anyone. He shoved his chilly hands in his tight pockets and marched on, trying to cheer himself up. Jou and Honda probably had something stupid and/or wild planned, those two never got together without something crazy happening. It was probably just what he would need, something to drag him out of his funk.
When he reached the house, Honda ushered him in with the strangest look on his face, Ryou was already there, which set Yugi to glaring again, but when the boy smiled at him his anger was forgotten. "I'm sorry I was mean to you…" he began tentatively, "I was just a little cranky. Bakura was being… and I know you were just worried about me."
Yugi waved the stuttered apology off, it wasn't a problem, he could've been nicer which he promptly admitted. Honda walked out of the kitchen with a large bowl of popcorn and something hidden behind his back. Jou was trying not to smirk when he finally showed it to the two boys. Beer. Yugi rolled his eyes, it would be just like Honda and Jou to think of something this retarded as an excuse for a party; the whole night would probably turn into the two hikari's watching movies while Jou and Honda gloated about how many they could each drink. He gave Ryou an all knowing smile and sat down next to the popcorn.
"Want one?" Jou offered, holding forth a can.
Yami was on the verge of ripping Jou apart but he settled for saying, "You're too innocent for that aibou. I don't think it would be a good idea."
Yugi hadn't even considered it; he probably wouldn't have accepted it if Yami hadn't said anything, but he was so tired of being the innocent one that everyone was trying to protect. Yugi shrugged and held out a hand saying, "Why not?" He felt Yami seething in his mind, trying to blame his acceptance on peer pressure and laughed.
Ryou coughed, drawing the groups attention from the tense moment, Jou looked so shocked that he nearly fell out of his seat. Apparently Yugi had a darker side, then again, who didn't? He drew the silver coin from his front pocket that he carried everywhere he went. "Quarters anyone?"
~Owari.
A/N: Okay people, if you've made it this far, please flame me, even I'll admit that this story was a piece of crap. I wrote it while extremely tired… Anyway, the whole quote thingy at the beginning, it was a metaphor, think on it; the yami's underestimate their hikari's, calling them pure and innocent, where the hikari's only want to rebel or shock their yami's. I dunno, I tried.
I did want to mention, in the second section, where Yugi was griping about not being able to pick up his mind room… Yami has superimposed the image of innocence onto Yugi, and because he's the more powerful force in Yugi's head, he is unconsciously enforcing that image. That should clear things up… It's just yami's in denial.