Author's Note: Many thanks to all who reviewed this—Laurel Meredith, Red Rum, mama-sama, Dan Inverse, and artemis1082! Fear not, Laurel Mer, if you don't get any of the jokes I'd love to explain them to you. Not like there are a whole lot of jokes anyway…
Disclaimer: I own Foufou. And Foufou will one day help me take over the world, and when I take over the world, I can buy out Gundam Wing and own it all by myself! *glomps every GW character in sight* But until that day, I don't own anything.
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Beauty and the Anti-Heero
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Chapter Two: The Protagonists
Breathing heavily, Relena Peacecraft wondered if she'd ever make it home. She'd been in town buying supplies for the winter when the storm struck. Not only was it unexpected weather, Relena was ill prepared to make the trek home with only a makeshift cloak instead of a decent wool one equipped for snow with a deep hood trimmed with fox fur. Picking up her feet, she blinked back snow as she tried to wade through the white mess. Already it was past her ankles, and she had miles to go before she reached home. She figured she'd be lucky if her head was still above the snow by the time she reached any type of shelter. Glancing quickly beside her, Relena was glad her friend Hilde Schbeiker was with her, but she felt bad for the petite woman. Hilde wouldn't be with her if she hadn't begged the girl to accompany her to town, so she really didn't deserve to be in snowstorm. Hilde should be snug at home with Relena's older brother Milliardo, sitting in front of a fire waiting for Relena to get home and worrying about her well-being.
"I'm beginning to wonder if we'll survive the trek home!" Hilde shouted to Relena over the howling wind, holding up her arm to block the wind from her face. Relena duly noted that Hilde was as ill dressed for the weather as she was. If they didn't find shelter soon they'd freeze.
"Keep your hopes up, Hilde!" Relena shouted back. "If we start thinking negatively, then something bad is doomed to happen. Think happy, chipper thoughts!"
"I'm shin deep in snow in a thin, autumn cloak freezing my butt off because my best friend begged me to accompany her to town, and you want me to be happy? Hmm? What's wrong with that statement?" Relena offered Hilde a weak smile, doing her best to look apologetic without smirking at her best friend's misfortune. As if fate knew her thoughts, a strong gust of wind hit Relena, flapping her cloak out behind her. Instantly Relena felt frozen to her bones. There, it was happening. She was becoming an ice cube before she was properly courted. She always knew that the fates had hated her. "Don't lose your basket of food!" Hilde shrieked. "It may be the only thing to save us should we actually come across shelter somewhere!" At the last instance Relena snicked her basket out of the air, but it was too late to save all the contents. Fortunately Hilde was the one toting the bag of flour. Milliardo would have her hide should she lose the flour, possibly their only source of stapled food during the winter months to come.
Gathering her cloak back around her, Relena continued trudging forward against the wind. She could have sworn that for every step she took the wind pushed her back two. Feeling despair, Relena was sure she would have given up long ago and sank to the ground to die coldly had it not been for Hilde. Relena refused to let her best friend best her in returning home. That would be unbearable, even if she would be dead. Clutching her basket tightly, she tried hard to think happy, warm thoughts. A roaring fire would be nice, with a large pig roasting over it. Happy, warm thoughts. Think warm…
Before she knew it, Relena was face down in the ever-growing snow. She had tripped over the hem of her skirt. Now not only was her nose frozen, but her cheeks and forehead as well felt like ice. Hypothermia would be the death of her yet. Hilde bent down beside her and grabbed her arm, hauling her up in spite of gravity. Relena brushed the snow off the front of her cloak and realized Hilde had stopped moving altogether, her grip still tight on Relena's arm. "Hilde, what is it?" Relena asked, fearing the worst. Wolves? Was Hilde staring at wolves? Or lions? Or possibly tigers, or bears? Or, worst of all, warm and happy families?!
"A castle!" Hilde cried out joyfully. "Look, Lena, we're in front of a castle! We can seek shelter there and last out the storm! We're saved!" Turning to her right, Relena saw that they were, indeed, in front of a giant castle. It looked dark and dreary, and yet oh so inviting, a shelter from the storm. Yet despite being their saviour, Relena couldn't help but frown at the looming stone castle. She had walked these woods everyday since she was a child, and never once had she seen a castle along the path. Had she simply never noticed it before? No, impossible. Relena knew every inch of her forest as well as the back of her hand. Perhaps they were lost? "Don't just stand there, silly, let's go get warm!" Hilde exclaimed, dragging Relena towards the gates. Opening the rusted iron, Hilde rushed through towards the door, ignoring the efforts of the wind and swirling snow to knock her over. Relena ran after her friend as fast as her frozen legs would carry her, nearly dropping her basket several times. She noticed Hilde had lost her care of making sure the basket was safe. Flailing wildly in the wind, the whicker threatened to uncurl Hilde's fingers and fly through the air to land in an unknown spot. Shrugging, Relena decided Hilde had the right idea; her basket too was soon flailing about in the storm, attached to her hand merely by her curled, frozen fingers.
Arrival at the entrance netted the two girls a moment to catch their breath. Finally sucking in enough oxygen to satisfy her lungs, Relena nodded at Hilde to pull back the knocker. Fearlessly the petite raven-haired girl lifted the heavy brass knocker and let it fall against the elegantly engraved door. After a moment of no response, Relena urged Hilde again to knock. Hilde ignored Relena, and instead of knocking simply opened the door and walked on in. Shocked, Relena ran in after her best friend.
"Hilde, are you crazy?" Relena hissed. "We don't own this castle, and we don't know who does! We're trespassing!"
"Calm down, Relena," Hilde said. "A castle this big must be deserted if no one answers on the first knock. We'll be safe until the snow stops and we can fight our way home again."
Relena looked around like a frightened rabbit. "Hilde, if someone catches us here, we're as good as dead, if not worse!"
"We'll be fine, Relena, don't worry! We're only here until the storm stops!"
"Hilde, does the word trespassing mean anything to you?"
"Does the word frozen mean anything to you?"
"Trespassing!"
"Frozen!"
"Trespassing!"
"Frozen!"
"Trespassing!"
"Frozen!"
"Trespa—"
"Boo."
"AAH!!" Both girls jumped and clung to each other, their baskets falling to the ground and the contents rolling across the stone floor. Without realizing it, they had identical scared expressions decorating their faces, even down to the closed eyes. Neither moved an inch until laughter filled the expansive room.
"I wish you two could see yourselves," a deep masculine voice, matching the one that said 'boo', rang out in their ears. "A couple of rabbits about to be snarfed down by a wolf, that's the picture I'm seeing."
Slowly Relena opened her eyes, but didn't loosen her grip on Hilde, nor vice versa. Standing in front of the two of them was a young man a few years older than them. A large grin held its place on his face, and matching twinkles sparkled in his expressive eyes. He had long, chestnut brown hair pulled back in a braid that reached his waist. He was dressed expensively, as if he were a prince. More than likely he was a prince, and the prince of this castle. Relena gave off a small groan. Now they were going to get tarred and feathered for merely stepping inside of the castle, and she couldn't say they didn't deserve it.
"What are you going to do with us?" Hilde asked with far more bravado that she or Relena felt.
"Do with you? Why, nothing," the smiling stranger said. Relena didn't trust him. He was far too smiley to mean that. Princes who smiled that much spent too much time devising ways to torture and maim people. The Spanish Inquisition had been run by smiling people. Relena knew they were doomed.
"But we're on your property without permission," Hilde persisted. "Surely we must be punished in some fashion."
The guy gave them a tiny shrug. "Well, if you really want to be punished, I guess I could throw you back outside and let you freeze to death."
"Oh fruit, please no." The words slipped out of her mouth before Relena even realized it. So much for her trespassing argument.
"No? You wanna stay in here?" the smiling stranger said, faking surprise. His smile deepened to a grin, border lining on perversion. "With me?"
"You know what, it has hit me that Relena is right, we're trespassing, and we'd love to leave. So, please, if you'll excuse me," Hilde said, quickly gathering up their baskets and the spilled contents.
The braided prince took a seat on the floor and leaned back to stare up at them. "Look at that! You two switched positions. Perhaps it be that neither of you has any interest in freezing or trespassing? I can solve both problems for you, if you'll hear me out."
Relena nodded, ready to hear what he had to say, but Hilde shook her head firmly. "No. I'm sorry to disturb you, and am very sorry we entered the castle without permission, but we'll be taking our leave of you now."
"Hilde!" Relena hissed, low enough so the prince could not overhear her words. "He offered us shelter! We can stay here until the storm blows over, and then be on our way home! Come, surely that sounds enticing to you. Plus, we're in a castle and he's a prince. We'll have royal company and he can show us around!"
Hilde held up one finger to the prince, signifying they needed a moment. He smiled at them. "Take your time, I ain't in a rush." He leaned all the way back on the floor and propped his head up with his hands, that smile never leaving his face.
"Relena, did you not hear what you just said?"
"Which part?"
"The part about the prince being our company. Did you see the smile he just gave us? Relena, this man is trouble, and I want no part of it!" Relena sighed in frustration. Why was Hilde so stubborn?
"So he smiled. My brother smiles all the time, and I don't see you clamoring to leave our house and live elsewhere," Relena said with more patience than she felt.
"Yes, but your brother has never given me a suggestive smile! Relena, surely you are not so naïve that you missed the look he gave us. Please say you did not!" Hilde demanded. Relena gave a half shrug. "I can't believe you missed that! Milliardo needs to let you out more. You are far too sheltered."
"Nothing wrong with being sheltered," Relena insisted. "At least my mind is always clean and my conscience calm if I don't understand the perfidious comments others make."
Hilde threw her hands up. "Why are we talking about this? We're supposed to be discussing our exit. We are going. I refuse to stay here with that prince watching us."
"Fine, go if you want," Relena said, "but I'm staying here. I'd rather be out of the storm and warm. The prince offered us a place to stay, and I intend to take him up on his offer. After all, it's only going to be one night…I hope. We can survive! And even if you did see a suggestive smile on the lord's face, we can take care of ourselves, especially with two of us. We're fine, Hilde, I'm sure of it." Hilde glowered, obviously not pleased with Relena's answer, but also not willing to abandon her friend to the advances of the braided man. Happy that Hilde had consented, Relena turned back to the prince. "We'll stay for the night, if that's all right with you, but we really must get going come morning, if the storm has broke."
Hilde glowered at the prince. "But if you should make so much as one advance on either of us, we're out of here, off to try our lives in the raging storm."
Sitting up, the braided man smiled. "I'm sorry, but you can't do that."
"Can't do what?" Hilde demanded.
"Can't leave. Ever." Relena couldn't tell if his grin grew wider or wavered a bit. Was it possible to do both? Curious Relena leaned forward to hear his answer; she leaned forward a little too far and Hilde had to grab her arm to steady her.
"What do you mean we can't ever leave?" Relena demanded. "We can leave whenever we so choose."
The man shrugged. "Eh, whatever you say. You'll soon come to find that I'm right. Now, would you two like a room? Together or separate? With or without a fire? Big bed or small? Windows or no? Wardrobe or no? If yes, a full one? Mirrors or not? Accessible bathrooms or not? Pink or blue or purple or yellow or green or orange or red? Rugs or carpet or bare stone? Drapes or—"
"Thank you sir, but I think we get the idea," Hilde said. "We'll only be staying here one night, two at most, so it really doesn't matter. Whatever you see fit to give us, we'll humbly accept."
He shrugged again. "Whatever you say." The man whistled, and a young lady came in, bowing humbly to the two girls. "Sylvia, these two girls are our guests for the night. Please take them to their rooms and make sure they are as comfortable as can be." With a flourish, the braided man bowed to Relena and Hilde. "Take care my ladies, and I shall see you tomorrow. Make yourselves at home, and enjoy your time here. I would play the part of a gentleman and kiss your hands, but due to the earlier conversation between you two, I am more than fairly certain I would receive a slap in the face instead of a graceful blush. Good night." He turned on his heel and left, his booted feet clapping on the stone floor.
"Please, this way, my ladies," Sylvia said, leading them off to their rooms for the night. Relena smiled at Hilde. This wasn't so bad after all. They could have done much worse for themselves. Hilde smiled back, but her eyes held a worried look. Relena couldn't say the worry was completely unwarranted, but honestly, what else could they have done?
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Man, I love country girls, the braided prince thought to himself as he whistled his way to the Prince's study. His grin widened at the prospect of new meat. Arriving in the West Wing, he knocked softly on the grand door hiding what was beyond. A growl greeted him in return, refusing his request of an audience. Whistling innocently, he opened the door anyway and stepped in, barely ducking a flying glass vase. "Dude, Highness, you've got to stop doing that. Before long you'll be out of pretty glass things to chuck my way. Actually, that may not be such a bad idea…" Whistling a little more, he threw himself down on the red velvet chair the Prince kept for him. "Our prayers have been answered! Fresh meat arrived not but ten minutes ago."
"Who was praying?" A deep growl answered him. The voice's owner stepped out of the shadows. A monstrous beast stood in the center of the room. He was almost twice the size of a human man, with teeth large enough to crack stones and a couple of fangs hanging out of the beastly lips. His nose took on the shape of an upside down triangle, the nostrils flaring slightly in anger. Paws nearly the size of dinner plates hugged the stone floor; wicked black claws threatened to shoot out. The beast's entire body was covered in a thick fur the colour of chocolate, yet oddly enough when dubbed as a colour called moss green. Piercing cobalt blue eyes peered out from thick, bushy brows, a fire burning within their depths. He was truly a sight to behold.
"To be completely honest, Majesty, everyone was praying except for you. Perhaps you've resigned yourself to your cage of a castle, but the rest of us would like to one day leave. Me, I still have a family waiting back home, who most assuredly are wondering about my apparent demise."
The best growled, his glare deepening. "Perhaps you should have taken that into account, Duo, when you got us into this mess. I'm not interested in your new meat. Send them home."
Duo sighed, tugging his braid in aggravation, quickly releasing it when his scalp cried out for help. The prince was as painful to work with as any. When had he grown so cold, so emotionless? When had he started to not care about his servants and friends trapped with him? "You know I can't do that," he said quietly. "As much as I would like to, it ain't gonna happen. I'm well aware that it's my fault we're all stuck here like hamsters in a cage, but unlike you, I care about getting out, and there's only one way to do that. My last attempt was a dud, but I'm sure this try can be more successful. Neither girl has any previous attachments, I'd bet my braid on it. Please, Heero, give it a go."
"I said no, and I mean no!" the beast roared, a table flying through the air in his rage. "Get out, Duo, get out now and send them home. I don't care if you have to give your life to do it, just make it so!" Hastily jumping up, Duo gave a hurried bow as he scurried out the door. He may enjoy trying the prince's patience, but he knew when enough was enough. Grimacing, he made his way silently to his room. This was their last chance, he knew that, but how could he convince the prince to give it a try?
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A/N: Well, that was an awfully long chapter two, wouldn't you say? ^__~ Originally this was going to be humour as well as romance, but then I wrote this chapter, and I'm not seeing the humour. Eh, oh well! Review, please! The quicker ego boost I get, the quicker the next chapter gets written! ~~Callisto