The Only One Left by Yui
Author's Note: Contains Harry Potter #5 spoilers!!! Beware!!!! Yes, I've read that book and truthfully found the ending disappointing. (So sorry J.K Rowling!) But I loved the beginning, middle, climax, and the very emotional scenes in it that I love very much. It's not the best in the series but it's all right…Sorry, I need to get that off my chest. No one has read it in my family! If you wish to flame me because of my opinion, feel free to e-mail me and not put it in a review, please. Review's are for this story which I hope you like! Thank you so much! Oh! And this is from Remus Lupin's POV and it's full of angst!
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Oh my God! He is gone! Dead. The man known as Sirius Black, my friend and my ex-lover, is dead. And I am numb. I'm angry and I'm trembling, not believing what I had seen.
It wasn't real.
Someone please tell me it had been some ghastly prank. Sirius couldn't have dead like that. It would have taken more…he could have saved himself…if I hadn't been so slow I could have save him…
I hate myself. I hate life. Why did this have to happen? Sirius shouldn't have dead. He had already been taken from me 14 years ago! Why did it have to be him, God? With all he had gone through, why in hell did he have to die before he got the chance to live?! He didn't deserve to die like that, to be murdered at the hands of his malicious cousin. He had been so energetic, so eager to be free, so eager to protect Harry…
It didn't happen.
Sitting alone in an empty room at the headquarters, I am quite numb. I've cried all my strength and courage away in an ocean of chilling tears. And I am left with nothing but a burning pain and nothing seems to help. I'm powerless as my brain automatically runs the image of Sirius dying repeatedly in my head and I feel the knife of pain goad deeper into my heart.
It shouldn't have happened.
It shouldn't have ended this way. I never got the chance to tell him how much I loved him. How much he meant to me. But there was never any damn time! I had been so busy with the Order to stay by Sirius' side and tell him the truth. Maybe it wouldn't have eased his restlessness but it could have helped his sulking mood. I thought that maybe once things settled down, I'd be able to tell him. But he died before I could get enough courage to speak with him. I really hate that part; makes me feel as if I could have prevented his death from happening.
His death was a mistake!
I still can't believe he is gone and, in my heart, I know that Harry must be feeling the same way. I haven't talked to him. It would break my heart. I needed time. Time to thaw out, to come to terms with Sirius' death. To me life has stopped. I have stopped. Right now, I really just want to sleep the pain away. But then the nightmares would come. I know they would; nightmares of his death that would shake me to the bone.
The others are just as downhearted and sorrowful. But I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to see them. Thankfully, Dumbledore has given us a week to mourn the passing of Sirius but without a body a wake and burial is hard to do. All I can do now is think about him. I can't forget him. I won't forget him. And I can't get over it. Not yet, anyway.
For now, I'm numb from head to toe, hating the fact that he is gone, hating the fact that I'm the only one left.