I am the son
and the heir
of a silence that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
of nothing in particular
Laying back watching the smoke rise to the ceiling, maudlin and extremely high, he laughed at the fact that he could still think straight.
Yet, the one thing he was thinking about, was the one thing he was trying to drown out.
It was Michael Novotny, "Mikey", but mostly Brian liked to call Michael "Mine", not aloud, because no one could know that about him.
No one could know he'd been spending an ever-increasing amount of time obsessing over Michael.
Or that on many random occasions he'd indulge in thoughts of Michael, his magnificent brown eyes, mercurial smile, and of course that perfect figure that cried for a sculptor to immortalize it.
You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
Everyone said he was incapable of human feelings, especially love. They said he didn't need anyone or anything, and that he didn't care about anyone but himself.
How could they ever say that, he thought, when I've needed and cared about Michael almost my entire life.
There's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die
Maybe it was his "fuck-not-love" attitude that brought about these conclusions from people, but Babylon was an escape for him, another way to forget his life and his 'feelings'.
How could Michael mean so much to him, if he didn't feel a thing at all.
He had always walked around with a weight on his shoulders, and it seemed so much lighter whenever Michael was around.
When you say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do you mean?
see, I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone
He desperately wanted to let Michael know how he felt about him, but how do you go about telling your best friend that you just suddenly fell in love with him?
Did he even dare to hope that Michael would still return these feelings.
Well it was going to happen now. He picked up the phone and dialed. It rang twice before the familiar voice came through on the other end.
"Hello."
"Brian?"
"Mikey! Come over, please"
Did I just say 'please'? he wondered.
"Can't at the moment, soon maybe."
"How soon is say...now?"
"Brian..." Michael whined, "..fine,give me about 15 minutes, I'll be there."
They both hung up their phones.
Brian smiled, his Michael would always come to him.
He had a wicked voice in his head telling him that there was something about to happen. Brian began to panic and became frightened.
"What if this all goes wrong?" he mumbled "Fuck."
What if Michael came and he had nothing to say. And then he'd stare at him with that look in his eyes, and ask what he was doing and what he had decided.
TBC...