STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: Yeah, yeah... I don't own RK, so sue me!!! On second thought… * giggles nervously* don't…
Quick little message from author: Is it just me or was RK truly a revolution in anime storylines? I mean, ever since RK you cannot come across an anime lacking the cute, skilled, broody type with worthiness issues- not that I'm complaining! Also, this chapter is pretty short compared to others, but I was afraid to blow it after all the prior intensity and emotive content. Hope you all likes! Onward!
Chapter 7: Walking after you.
Precious. He was so precious. Fragile. No matter what anyone else said or thought, in my eyes he would always be fragile… and lost, and scared, and confused. I wanted his undivided attention. I wanted his heart. In my haste, my desire, I stumbled. He had pronounced the words that I had waited a lifetime to hear but in my precipitation I crash-coursed, over minding the warning signals in my brain, the "hit the brakes" red light clicking on and off, the sirens blaring… and I shattered into a thousand pieces sprayed against the wooden floor of our home. Our home; my home. By the time I managed to lift myself off the ground this might already have turned into just MY home.
I felt weary and queasy. No longer ours… no more him: I would be alone again. Soon, not even his scent would linger in his room. Soon, the musky fragrance of the man I loved would fade away and then there would be one more empty room in the house and in my heart. Once again an empty room. An empty room: just one more unfulfilled dream.
Kaoru, wake up!!! Stand up!!! Are you just going to let him go?!! Will you just lie there feeling sorry for yourself?!! Will you give up without a fight?!! Are you just going to let it happen all over again?!!
My head jerked up at once and my eyes widened in horror, tears overlapping and pooling out, drenching my yukata. My mind went on instant replay. Suddenly fireflies were dancing all around me, taunting me. His arms were covering me, drawing me in, tempting me, satisfying me, releasing me, wounding me, hurting me, mocking me- agony.
Kenshin… A throaty rasp and his presence had vanished into the night.
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the images to go away, to stop torturing me. I whimpered and simultaneously, my fists were slamming against the innocent floor. Tears blinded me and pain diminished me. It was happening again; I was letting him slip through my fingers. I was allowing all of this to happen in such an ungraceful manner that, in spite of me, it seemed oddly amusing.
The wall had never been him: it was me! The silent barrier wasn't his guilt; it was my apprehension. I thought I could take it, but when presented with the truth all I had done was pull back, unwilling to confront and only ready to forget. It was his past- his life. How could I ask him to forget his life? Why did Kenshin have to bring such a touchy subject up at such a time? Why, when it was coming out to be such a memorable moment?!! He was finally acquiescing his love for me, he was at long last confessing- confessing?!!
My body was, all of a sudden, wracked by violent sobs. Confessions…
All he had wanted to do was confess his love, sins, fears and beliefs. And all I had done was hide behind thick drapes of deceit, shutting him out completely with such actions. I was the obstacle: I was what kept us apart. When had the tables up and turned in a 180º dramatic and uncontrollable spin? Since when was I the one on the run?
On the run… Kenshin would soon leave and I would be too weak to stop him. No. Determination mingled with frustration coursed through my veins and made a mad rush to my head. No! I wasn't weak! Love was supposed to be capable of surviving through anything if strong enough. If so, then love would have to be strong enough to carry my wobbly legs out to him. Love would have to be thick enough to slow him down.
I was frail and, in a way, so was he but I had to believe- I needed to believe- that at least our love for one another was enough. It would just have to do.
Whispering his name I tried to balance myself on my unsteady feet. Whispering his name my trembling hands slid the shoji open. Whispering his name, my fluttering eyes took in his barren room. Whispering his name I shakily stepped out into the cold night. Whispering his name I ran as fast and as hard as my legs would carry me, with only one intention and known destination. Whispering his name my knees gave way and made contact with the hard, berating ground. Whispering his name, my eyes wandered upwards in despair only to be met by his steady, concerned, amethyst gaze.
"Kenshin…"
"Kaoru, what are you doing out here?" he asked pulling me up against him, helping me back on my feet.
"I… was… I was… walking… I was walking after you." I managed to utter through heavy panting and ragged breaths.
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So… was it that bad? Not so much? Immediate empathy or complete and utter dislike? Whichever your opinion, let me know, click and review!
Reviewer Responses:
To glimmergirl: Work incentive review indeed! Yeah, I guess the dream chapter kind of had too much information to hack in one seating. Now imagine actually dreaming something parallel to what I described. * goes swirly-eyed* Actually I was thinking about studying psychology but I let that idea drop back into the gutter and decided to stick with journalism instead. I'm only on my first semester, so let's see how that works out for me. Thank you for the support, for the compliments and… it would make my day if you did keep reviewing as you said you would!!!
To Silver: Thanks for the praise and for taking the time to review. Misunderstandings: isn't that the basis of the K/K relationship?
To Crazy Girl Person: Your wish is my command!!! Hence, an update! I hope you still like the story after this chapter: I got kind of confused writing it. Too many emotions just took me by surprise ^_^
To TenkunoMeiou: As I said to another reviewer: mix-ups and misunderstandings… that's what RK's all about in my humble opinion. That, and Kenshin's broody nature and Kaoru with her almighty bokken… hihihi
To Rekka's Angel: Personally, I think love-hate relationships are the most interesting kind!! *wink, wink* However, they are also the most self-destructive, but that comment has nothing to do with your review * looks away sheepishly*. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed, I'm sorry I almost drove you to tears: I don't particularly get a kick out of making people gloomy. To give you a reason to smile, Kenshin and his Kaoru-dono will be together soon! Yey! Thanks for your review, hope you continue reading me.
To mvdiva: I'm inspiring?!! WOW!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! That's like one of the most beautiful things anyone could possibly say to me. That this story is giving you writing ideas, to me, is simply fantastic! Tell me, what do you plan to make your story about? I would love to hear about those ideas swirling in that brilliant little head of yours ^_^
To newbee: Okay newbee, if you feel like writing a fic, then by all means, go ahead! The only condition is that you drop a name so I can look it up as soon as you post! Thank you for appreciating this story and I hope that you actually read this, since it would mean that you read chapter 4, my personal favorite. Your reviews will ALWAYS be helpful!!! It's what we fanfiction authors thrive for so, don't underestimate yourself!
To AmbieChan: Yey!!! AmbieChan doesn't want to skin me alive anymore!!! *runs around doing snoopy happy dance*. Thank you for your continuous encouragement and kind words. Did you like this chapter? I sure hope so anyway. Thank you, once again.
To A.R. Fredrick: a.k.a, my most serious reviewer. First off, I am ever so grateful for such a lovely review! The fact that you called this an 'experience'… you have no idea how much that, not only pleases me, as well as thrills me. Sorry for the grammar mistakes, I tend to just spontaneously write what I feel and rarely pay attention to structure. Alas, I fear that is my weakness! Hahaha. As for me, I'll be sure to patiently wait for your next review and will, without a doubt, look for your upcoming fic; I'm sure it will be something akin to a masterpiece, if I am to guide myself by your honest and simple definition of writing. For you, it comes from the heart, and in my humble opinion, that's the place where the most beautiful things on earth spring from. Thanks ever so much and look me up for updates on this fic!
Well, I think that about sums it up! Ladies and gents, we have a wrap! Until next chapter, that is…