December 26, 1974 (Evening)
Dear Diary,
I have not spoken to James much today. I am still in a way angry at him for kissing me, and making me so vulnerable. He looked a little hurt this morning at breakfast because I would not talk to him. Anise took me upstairs to our dormitory afterwards and demanded to know what was happening between us. I tried not to tell her, but Anise has a way of reading my mind. She told me that it wasn't really my fault, but not to tell Mattie, because she wouldn't understand. I will apologize to James tomorrow, I don't think he knew that his kiss would have such an effect on me.
LATER:
I took a nap after classes ended and woke up late at night. I left my DADA homework in the common room, so I went down to get it. At the bottom of the stairs I heard passionate sounds. Mattie was sitting on the couch and James was beside her, kissing her. It wasn't an innocent kiss either, it was a long passionate one. I imagined that it was me who James was kissing. It was me who felt his wonderfully soft lips on mine. I was in a complete reverie when I heard someone gasp.
"Lily?!!! What are you doing here?" James looked slightly upset, but Mattie was furious.
"I'm sorry Lily that you can't have my boyfriend, but don't spy on us!!!"
I felt tears in my eyes, but was relieved to hear James reprove her.
"I do not want James!" I spat at her. "I was coming downstairs to get my defense against the DARK arts homework!!!"
"Well than stop flirting with him every chance you get!"
I wanted to slap her silly, I wanted to wipe her smirk off her face, but instead I turned on my heal and ran up the stairs to my room.
I heard James say, "I'll be right back." and then Mattie threatened to break up with him then and there, if he went after me.
James turned away from her, and I heard his footsteps on the stairs. "Well Mattie, if you can't accept that Lily is my best friend, and that I can't just let her cry alone up there, then I think it would be better if we called off this relationship right now!"
Then I heard the sound of a slap, and Mattie screaming "Fine, be that way!"
I felt guilty for ruining James' love life. Now he was dateless, and it didn't even make me happy about it, because it was all my fault. I soon heard the door open, and Anise looked at James.
"James? Are you okay?" she asked rushing over to him. "It looks like she hit you pretty hard!"
"Anise, don't." I glared at her.
"Oh, sorry Lils.James, I'll go get you a warm cloth to put on your cheek." and with that she was gone.
"I'm sorry James," I muttered. "Its all my fault, isn't it?"
"No Lily, you can't think that. It just wasn't meant to be."
I didn't sound convinced. "You didn't seem to think so when you were making out with her though, did you?"
"Lily, please," he reached out and took my hand. "Do you really think I would date someone who tried to make me give up my friendship with you?"
I felt touched that he was so attached to me. "No."
"Now I'm sorry about what Mattie said to you. It is not true. I flirt with you, and with everyone else, she just didn't like that, and wanted to find someone else to blame it on."
"That's okay, James."
"Hey," he pulled back to study my face. "Why wouldn't you talk to me earlier? Did I do something wrong?"
"No. I'm sorry. I can't really say, but." my voice trailed off. I could tell that he knew about my longing for him.
"Oh." he pulled me into a hug. "Sorry, I thought I'd upset you, but I couldn't think how."
I smiled, and secretly thought. "Well yeah, you did upset me, not intentionally though."
Then I relaxed in his arms, until I felt his fingers running through my hair, and I was beginning to feel the need to kiss him again. I leaned my forehead on his chest, and his hand moved to the nape of my neck. I gasped at the sensation of his fingers brushing against my skin.
"What's wrong Lils?"
I felt my heart stop. "That tickles!!!"
"Oh sorry," he removed his hand from my hair and it landed on my waist. It felt so strong and comforting that I wished we could stand there like that forever, his arm around me.
"And your sister called you fat, and you believed her?" he looked concerned.
"Huh?"
"Lily you are not fat in the least."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You're quite bony, actually."
I then realized what he was referring to and I felt my cheeks burning.
He blushed as well. "Ohh." I laughed nervously.
"Sorry Lils." he muttered, and I felt him back away.
"Goodnight James, again I'm sorry about Mattie."
"Nothing to be sorry about Lils." and he walked out of my dorm.
Anise opened the bathroom door a second later, and she looked like she was about to burst.
"What was going on out there?"
"Eavesdropping on us Anise? Oh and hey, what ever happened to that wash cloth you were going to give James?"
She smiled sheepishly. "Oh that. He didn't seem to need one once he started to talk to you Lily."
"Oh and what is that supposed to mean?" I teased her.
"Lily, I predict that you and James will be going out with each other before this month is over."
I looked at her like she was crazy. "Sure Anise, whatever you say." And I got into bed.
"Yeah, whatever I say is right," I heard her mumble, and then she laughed to herself.
James is not attracted to me in the least. or is he?
Love, Lils
Dear Diary,
I have not spoken to James much today. I am still in a way angry at him for kissing me, and making me so vulnerable. He looked a little hurt this morning at breakfast because I would not talk to him. Anise took me upstairs to our dormitory afterwards and demanded to know what was happening between us. I tried not to tell her, but Anise has a way of reading my mind. She told me that it wasn't really my fault, but not to tell Mattie, because she wouldn't understand. I will apologize to James tomorrow, I don't think he knew that his kiss would have such an effect on me.
LATER:
I took a nap after classes ended and woke up late at night. I left my DADA homework in the common room, so I went down to get it. At the bottom of the stairs I heard passionate sounds. Mattie was sitting on the couch and James was beside her, kissing her. It wasn't an innocent kiss either, it was a long passionate one. I imagined that it was me who James was kissing. It was me who felt his wonderfully soft lips on mine. I was in a complete reverie when I heard someone gasp.
"Lily?!!! What are you doing here?" James looked slightly upset, but Mattie was furious.
"I'm sorry Lily that you can't have my boyfriend, but don't spy on us!!!"
I felt tears in my eyes, but was relieved to hear James reprove her.
"I do not want James!" I spat at her. "I was coming downstairs to get my defense against the DARK arts homework!!!"
"Well than stop flirting with him every chance you get!"
I wanted to slap her silly, I wanted to wipe her smirk off her face, but instead I turned on my heal and ran up the stairs to my room.
I heard James say, "I'll be right back." and then Mattie threatened to break up with him then and there, if he went after me.
James turned away from her, and I heard his footsteps on the stairs. "Well Mattie, if you can't accept that Lily is my best friend, and that I can't just let her cry alone up there, then I think it would be better if we called off this relationship right now!"
Then I heard the sound of a slap, and Mattie screaming "Fine, be that way!"
I felt guilty for ruining James' love life. Now he was dateless, and it didn't even make me happy about it, because it was all my fault. I soon heard the door open, and Anise looked at James.
"James? Are you okay?" she asked rushing over to him. "It looks like she hit you pretty hard!"
"Anise, don't." I glared at her.
"Oh, sorry Lils.James, I'll go get you a warm cloth to put on your cheek." and with that she was gone.
"I'm sorry James," I muttered. "Its all my fault, isn't it?"
"No Lily, you can't think that. It just wasn't meant to be."
I didn't sound convinced. "You didn't seem to think so when you were making out with her though, did you?"
"Lily, please," he reached out and took my hand. "Do you really think I would date someone who tried to make me give up my friendship with you?"
I felt touched that he was so attached to me. "No."
"Now I'm sorry about what Mattie said to you. It is not true. I flirt with you, and with everyone else, she just didn't like that, and wanted to find someone else to blame it on."
"That's okay, James."
"Hey," he pulled back to study my face. "Why wouldn't you talk to me earlier? Did I do something wrong?"
"No. I'm sorry. I can't really say, but." my voice trailed off. I could tell that he knew about my longing for him.
"Oh." he pulled me into a hug. "Sorry, I thought I'd upset you, but I couldn't think how."
I smiled, and secretly thought. "Well yeah, you did upset me, not intentionally though."
Then I relaxed in his arms, until I felt his fingers running through my hair, and I was beginning to feel the need to kiss him again. I leaned my forehead on his chest, and his hand moved to the nape of my neck. I gasped at the sensation of his fingers brushing against my skin.
"What's wrong Lils?"
I felt my heart stop. "That tickles!!!"
"Oh sorry," he removed his hand from my hair and it landed on my waist. It felt so strong and comforting that I wished we could stand there like that forever, his arm around me.
"And your sister called you fat, and you believed her?" he looked concerned.
"Huh?"
"Lily you are not fat in the least."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You're quite bony, actually."
I then realized what he was referring to and I felt my cheeks burning.
He blushed as well. "Ohh." I laughed nervously.
"Sorry Lils." he muttered, and I felt him back away.
"Goodnight James, again I'm sorry about Mattie."
"Nothing to be sorry about Lils." and he walked out of my dorm.
Anise opened the bathroom door a second later, and she looked like she was about to burst.
"What was going on out there?"
"Eavesdropping on us Anise? Oh and hey, what ever happened to that wash cloth you were going to give James?"
She smiled sheepishly. "Oh that. He didn't seem to need one once he started to talk to you Lily."
"Oh and what is that supposed to mean?" I teased her.
"Lily, I predict that you and James will be going out with each other before this month is over."
I looked at her like she was crazy. "Sure Anise, whatever you say." And I got into bed.
"Yeah, whatever I say is right," I heard her mumble, and then she laughed to herself.
James is not attracted to me in the least. or is he?
Love, Lils