December 31, 1974 - January 1, 1975
Dear Diary,
Tonight is New Year's Eve. I can hardly wait. It is something will take my mind off James for awhile, hopefully. Anise is planning on being a gown designer when she graduates from Hogwarts. She insisted on practicing her skills on me. She is currently in our dormitory conjuring my gown for this evening. I can hardly wait to see it. I do hope it is not too revealing, I prefer to dress conservatively, not just because I grew up in a strict background, but I don't like to have boys gawking at me. Not that they would, because I am hardly attractive at all, but still, its best to completely avoid the situation. James is outside flying, he must be cold. I am going to go outside and offer him some tea, something that will warm him up.
LATER:
James took my tea, and then he continued to practice flying. I begged him to come inside the castle, because it is literally freezing outside. James declined politely, but suggested that I go inside, and help decorate the common room for this evening's festivities.
Upstairs I tore Remus and Sirius away from their game of wizard's chess long enough to help me create a scarlet and gold sign that reads "Happy New Year's Gryffindors", I charmed it to make a lion's roar the second the ball dropped, and the new year officially began. I am pleased with the final product.
I went upstairs to my dorm to see the dress that Anise has made. Anise was already wearing the gown that she had made for herself. It was an aqua color that shimmered in the faint sunlight. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and I told her so. Then she told me to close my eyes and she charmed the other dress onto me. When I opened my eyes I was convinced that she will make a superb gown designer someday. My own dress flows to my feet, and the hem is covered in tiny diamonds. The color of the dress, which is, to my dismay, rather low-necked, is scarlet, and has an emerald neckline. It is absolutely lovely.
We went downstairs in our gowns and all of the boys stared. James had just walked in through the portrait hole when Sirius whispered, "Man, would you look at that?"
James saw Anise and I and he smiled. He strolled over to us, and he took both of our hands. "You look ravishing my darlings."
Anise giggled, as Sirius joined James. "Anise you look lovely," he told her. She giggled, as I, feigning anger, said "What about me?"
"So do you Lils."
I blushed. "You boys shouldn't flatter us so."
James grabbed me by the waist and murmured in my ear, "Would you rather I tickle you?"
"Nooo!!!" I cried helplessly, and then I twisted my body away from him, trying to get away, but it was useless. "James stop!!!"
He smiled, "Oh but it's so much fun to make you laugh Lils, your laugh makes me feel so happy, just to be alive."
I melted inside as he looked at me with his lopsided grin.
"James, please don't look at me like that." my breath was quickening, and I could barely keep myself from kissing those beautiful lips.
"Like what?"
"James, please." I gasped, my arms went around his neck, and I leaned forward instinctively, eager to feel his lips on mine.
"Lils!!!" he gently lifted my arms away from his neck, and backed away.
"I'm sorry." I muttered, and then I sniffled. "James I'm so sorry."
Then I fled to my dorm. James showed up a few minutes later. I was lying on my stomach, and my pillow was stained with my tears.
I felt the bed move as someone sat down beside me. I felt someone's hand caressing my back through the thin material of my gown.
"James?" my voice was faint, and muffled from crying.
"Lily, please look at me."
I turned my face slowly, and he grimaced. I knew that I must have looked awful.
"Lily, why does it have to be me? Why?"
My body tensed, and he gazed into my eyes. "I'm sorry Lily, I shouldn't have said that."
I sat up, and I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. James was clearly at a loss for words, but his hand running up and down my back soothed me, and I fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and he was gone. I was staring up into Anise's face, and she looked extremely worried.
"Lils. you need to find a new guy." was all that she said. Then she helped me clean myself up in the bathroom, before we went downstairs for the party.
The party was all right. I temporarily forgot about James, and as midnight struck, everyone cheered. Then hugs were exchanged. Suddenly the lights flickered out and I screamed. I am not overly fond of the dark. I tumbled to the floor, and then I felt someone land on top of me.
I moaned in pain. "Lily?" I opened my eyes. James' face was hovering over mine. "Are you okay?" he asked.
I nodded my head, and then the lights came back on. James stood up immediately, and helped me rise to my feet. When I stood up I clutched my side, and my sight was blurred by tears.
"Lily?" I heard. And then I stumbled across the room. In the bathroom, I stripped down slowly, and I saw a fairly large bruise on my hip. I grabbed my wand, and muttered a pain reliever spell, and then I zipped up my gown, and walked back into the common room. James was waiting for me outside the door.
"Lils, are you okay?"
I smiled, "Yeah, just a little bruise. But I'm fine."
James smiled pityingly. "Sorry the new year has come off to such a bad start."
I laughed. "Hey it's not your fault James." And then I took his hand, and squeezed it. "Thanks for being there for me, for all these years."
He grinned sheepishly, and I giggled. "I just made you blush James."I taunted him.
He released my hand, and he threatened to tickle me. He chased me outside into the hall. The Fat Lady heard my pitiful shrieks and snapped. "Password."
"Gregoria, Gregoria!!!" I yelled and then I slipped through the portrait hole, trying to escape from James. It was useless, he followed a second later, and I dove onto a sofa, I heard James coming, and then I felt his hands tickling me.
"Okay, okay, you got me!!! I surrender!"
"Not yet!" he said evilly, and continued to tickle me. I rolled over, but he refused to stop.
"James, if you don't stop I'll kiss you."
I breathed a sigh of relief as his fingers left my stomach.
"Well then, that worked." I grinned, and then I rose to my feet. I stood on my tiptoes to be at his level.
"You know I wasn't really going to kiss you James!!!" I whispered, and then he reached out and clasped my hand in his.
"Really, that's wonderful to know Lils, because if you aren't your threat has not thwarted me," and he began to tickle me again. "And my you are ticklish which makes it all the more fun."
I pulled out my wand, and muttered a spell to suspend his hand in midair. "Well, now you've had your fun James, haven't you."
"Lily!!! Take that spell back at once." he begged me.
I giggled. "Not unless you let me kiss you, once."
"Lils, that won't do our friendship any good," he protested.
"Well isn't it a pity your hand won't be able to move for awhile."
"Lily Evans, you wouldn't dare. Oh all right, fine, just one tiny little peck," he muttered in defeat.
I slowly walked toward him, "One tiny little peck. All right, I promise, nothing more."
James was trembling by the time I reached him. "Relax James." And I lifted my hand to his face. His skin felt warm, and smooth, and I brushed my fingers across it, loving the feeling. Then my fingers stopped at his lips. I gazed into his lovely blue eyes, and I felt lost in their depths. I felt like I was floating in a sea of paradise, and then I removed my hand from his mouth, and without looking away from his eyes, my lips touched his. I pulled away for a moment, and said. "There, that wasn't so bad," but my words were intercepted by James' mouth. He kissed me tenderly, and his hand caressed my hair. He pulled it gently out of its bun, and let it cascade down my back. He finally pulled away for breath, and he realized what he had just done.
"Lily. Please tell me that did not happen.It was a mistake."
"James. Why is it a mistake? Why does it have to be a mistake?"
"Lily. I got caught up in the moment. That wasn't supposed to happen. Please Lily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you such hope that I."
I felt like my heart had been pierced and was going to shatter, and I was miserable, and at the same time I was very angry at James. I knew that what I was going to do next would not solve our problems, but it was the only thing that I could think of to do that might ease my pain. I slapped him across the face, but that did not make me feel at all better. I wanted to scream at him, and I wanted to kiss him at the same time. Finally I bent over and picked up my wand, which I had dropped during our kiss. "Manos Usas" I muttered, and he wiggled his fingers.
"There you go James," I turned on my heel and walked over to the staircase leading to my dormitory. "I kept my word. Didn't I?" And I left him standing there, all alone.
I hate him! I hate him, and yet I wish he was here to hold me, and make my tears go away. I wish he was here to wash away my pain with his amazing eyes. Anise wants to talk to me, but this is one thing that I can't tell her. I don't want to be James' friend anymore, and he most certainly won't want to have anything to do with me either. Oh I need to sleep, maybe that will help me feel better. I know it won't, but I can pretend, can't I?
Lily
Dear Diary,
Tonight is New Year's Eve. I can hardly wait. It is something will take my mind off James for awhile, hopefully. Anise is planning on being a gown designer when she graduates from Hogwarts. She insisted on practicing her skills on me. She is currently in our dormitory conjuring my gown for this evening. I can hardly wait to see it. I do hope it is not too revealing, I prefer to dress conservatively, not just because I grew up in a strict background, but I don't like to have boys gawking at me. Not that they would, because I am hardly attractive at all, but still, its best to completely avoid the situation. James is outside flying, he must be cold. I am going to go outside and offer him some tea, something that will warm him up.
LATER:
James took my tea, and then he continued to practice flying. I begged him to come inside the castle, because it is literally freezing outside. James declined politely, but suggested that I go inside, and help decorate the common room for this evening's festivities.
Upstairs I tore Remus and Sirius away from their game of wizard's chess long enough to help me create a scarlet and gold sign that reads "Happy New Year's Gryffindors", I charmed it to make a lion's roar the second the ball dropped, and the new year officially began. I am pleased with the final product.
I went upstairs to my dorm to see the dress that Anise has made. Anise was already wearing the gown that she had made for herself. It was an aqua color that shimmered in the faint sunlight. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and I told her so. Then she told me to close my eyes and she charmed the other dress onto me. When I opened my eyes I was convinced that she will make a superb gown designer someday. My own dress flows to my feet, and the hem is covered in tiny diamonds. The color of the dress, which is, to my dismay, rather low-necked, is scarlet, and has an emerald neckline. It is absolutely lovely.
We went downstairs in our gowns and all of the boys stared. James had just walked in through the portrait hole when Sirius whispered, "Man, would you look at that?"
James saw Anise and I and he smiled. He strolled over to us, and he took both of our hands. "You look ravishing my darlings."
Anise giggled, as Sirius joined James. "Anise you look lovely," he told her. She giggled, as I, feigning anger, said "What about me?"
"So do you Lils."
I blushed. "You boys shouldn't flatter us so."
James grabbed me by the waist and murmured in my ear, "Would you rather I tickle you?"
"Nooo!!!" I cried helplessly, and then I twisted my body away from him, trying to get away, but it was useless. "James stop!!!"
He smiled, "Oh but it's so much fun to make you laugh Lils, your laugh makes me feel so happy, just to be alive."
I melted inside as he looked at me with his lopsided grin.
"James, please don't look at me like that." my breath was quickening, and I could barely keep myself from kissing those beautiful lips.
"Like what?"
"James, please." I gasped, my arms went around his neck, and I leaned forward instinctively, eager to feel his lips on mine.
"Lils!!!" he gently lifted my arms away from his neck, and backed away.
"I'm sorry." I muttered, and then I sniffled. "James I'm so sorry."
Then I fled to my dorm. James showed up a few minutes later. I was lying on my stomach, and my pillow was stained with my tears.
I felt the bed move as someone sat down beside me. I felt someone's hand caressing my back through the thin material of my gown.
"James?" my voice was faint, and muffled from crying.
"Lily, please look at me."
I turned my face slowly, and he grimaced. I knew that I must have looked awful.
"Lily, why does it have to be me? Why?"
My body tensed, and he gazed into my eyes. "I'm sorry Lily, I shouldn't have said that."
I sat up, and I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. James was clearly at a loss for words, but his hand running up and down my back soothed me, and I fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and he was gone. I was staring up into Anise's face, and she looked extremely worried.
"Lils. you need to find a new guy." was all that she said. Then she helped me clean myself up in the bathroom, before we went downstairs for the party.
The party was all right. I temporarily forgot about James, and as midnight struck, everyone cheered. Then hugs were exchanged. Suddenly the lights flickered out and I screamed. I am not overly fond of the dark. I tumbled to the floor, and then I felt someone land on top of me.
I moaned in pain. "Lily?" I opened my eyes. James' face was hovering over mine. "Are you okay?" he asked.
I nodded my head, and then the lights came back on. James stood up immediately, and helped me rise to my feet. When I stood up I clutched my side, and my sight was blurred by tears.
"Lily?" I heard. And then I stumbled across the room. In the bathroom, I stripped down slowly, and I saw a fairly large bruise on my hip. I grabbed my wand, and muttered a pain reliever spell, and then I zipped up my gown, and walked back into the common room. James was waiting for me outside the door.
"Lils, are you okay?"
I smiled, "Yeah, just a little bruise. But I'm fine."
James smiled pityingly. "Sorry the new year has come off to such a bad start."
I laughed. "Hey it's not your fault James." And then I took his hand, and squeezed it. "Thanks for being there for me, for all these years."
He grinned sheepishly, and I giggled. "I just made you blush James."I taunted him.
He released my hand, and he threatened to tickle me. He chased me outside into the hall. The Fat Lady heard my pitiful shrieks and snapped. "Password."
"Gregoria, Gregoria!!!" I yelled and then I slipped through the portrait hole, trying to escape from James. It was useless, he followed a second later, and I dove onto a sofa, I heard James coming, and then I felt his hands tickling me.
"Okay, okay, you got me!!! I surrender!"
"Not yet!" he said evilly, and continued to tickle me. I rolled over, but he refused to stop.
"James, if you don't stop I'll kiss you."
I breathed a sigh of relief as his fingers left my stomach.
"Well then, that worked." I grinned, and then I rose to my feet. I stood on my tiptoes to be at his level.
"You know I wasn't really going to kiss you James!!!" I whispered, and then he reached out and clasped my hand in his.
"Really, that's wonderful to know Lils, because if you aren't your threat has not thwarted me," and he began to tickle me again. "And my you are ticklish which makes it all the more fun."
I pulled out my wand, and muttered a spell to suspend his hand in midair. "Well, now you've had your fun James, haven't you."
"Lily!!! Take that spell back at once." he begged me.
I giggled. "Not unless you let me kiss you, once."
"Lils, that won't do our friendship any good," he protested.
"Well isn't it a pity your hand won't be able to move for awhile."
"Lily Evans, you wouldn't dare. Oh all right, fine, just one tiny little peck," he muttered in defeat.
I slowly walked toward him, "One tiny little peck. All right, I promise, nothing more."
James was trembling by the time I reached him. "Relax James." And I lifted my hand to his face. His skin felt warm, and smooth, and I brushed my fingers across it, loving the feeling. Then my fingers stopped at his lips. I gazed into his lovely blue eyes, and I felt lost in their depths. I felt like I was floating in a sea of paradise, and then I removed my hand from his mouth, and without looking away from his eyes, my lips touched his. I pulled away for a moment, and said. "There, that wasn't so bad," but my words were intercepted by James' mouth. He kissed me tenderly, and his hand caressed my hair. He pulled it gently out of its bun, and let it cascade down my back. He finally pulled away for breath, and he realized what he had just done.
"Lily. Please tell me that did not happen.It was a mistake."
"James. Why is it a mistake? Why does it have to be a mistake?"
"Lily. I got caught up in the moment. That wasn't supposed to happen. Please Lily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you such hope that I."
I felt like my heart had been pierced and was going to shatter, and I was miserable, and at the same time I was very angry at James. I knew that what I was going to do next would not solve our problems, but it was the only thing that I could think of to do that might ease my pain. I slapped him across the face, but that did not make me feel at all better. I wanted to scream at him, and I wanted to kiss him at the same time. Finally I bent over and picked up my wand, which I had dropped during our kiss. "Manos Usas" I muttered, and he wiggled his fingers.
"There you go James," I turned on my heel and walked over to the staircase leading to my dormitory. "I kept my word. Didn't I?" And I left him standing there, all alone.
I hate him! I hate him, and yet I wish he was here to hold me, and make my tears go away. I wish he was here to wash away my pain with his amazing eyes. Anise wants to talk to me, but this is one thing that I can't tell her. I don't want to be James' friend anymore, and he most certainly won't want to have anything to do with me either. Oh I need to sleep, maybe that will help me feel better. I know it won't, but I can pretend, can't I?
Lily