Title: Back to You- chapter 13
Disclaimer: Are you really gonna make me say it? Alright, fine. Third Watch
does not belong to me.
Author's Note: Hey everybody. I know it's been forever since my last
update. I had finals and then I just had my wisdom teeth pulled so if this
chapter makes no sense, it's cuz I'm all hopped up on Vicodin, and steroids
and some other little pill. Or maybe cuz I suck. I'll stick to blaming it
on the drugs. Anywhoo, my psycho-babble is getting out of control. I just
wanted to thank everyone for your support and encouragement. Hope you
enjoy!;)
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Jimmy woke up the next morning to find his apartment empty. He found a note from Kim saying she had dropped Joey off at school and would see him later at work. He groaned at the thought of work. He had hardly slept at all, thinking about the previous night's weird events. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had done something to upset Kim, but couldn't figure out what it was.
Three o'clock finally rolled around and Jimmy walked into work a determined man. He really needed to talk to Kim, so he was going to ask her to dinner, whether she liked it or not. He should have just been honest with her last night, but he was afraid. After thinking about it though, he was more afraid of never having a chance with her again than concerned about being quiet. In the midst of his planning, he ran in to said ex-wife.
"Oh. Hey Jimmy," Kim smiled nervously. She was hoping to avoid him until that night so she could get her thoughts together.
Jimmy smiled and pulled her aside, "I hope you don't have any plans tonight because I'm taking you out to dinner," Jimmy stated matter-of- factly. Nervously, he tried to gauge her reaction, but all he could tell was that she looked deep in thought. After an awkward period of silence, Jimmy could no longer stand it. "You know, at this point, a person is either supposed to accept or make some cheesy excuse to get out of it," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "So which one will you be giving me?"
Kim shook her head out of her daze and smiled at Jimmy. "To what do I owe the great, and may I say rare, honor of you spending money on me?"
Jimmy laughed in relief, glad that she seemed to be open to the idea. "Well, when you put it like that you make me sound so cheap."
"You don't need me to say anything to make you sound cheap, you are," she smiled, trying to keep the mood lighter than she felt.
"Alright, insult me much more and I might have to retract my offer," Jimmy smiled faded a little, "So. can I count you in for tonight? There's kinda some stuff I need to talk to you about and I'm only telling you that now so you hold me to it later."
Kim frowned, trying to understand what Jimmy was getting at, "That's a little cryptic, don't you think? Why don't you just tell me now?"
Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck nervously and laughed, "If I did that, it'd ruin the element of surprise."
Just then, the siren went off, calling both of them back to the real world. "I guess it's time to save the world," Kim smiled and started off.
Jimmy grabbed her arm lightly and turned her around, "You never gave me an answer about tonight," he smiled, trying not to seem as pathetic as he knew he was.
Kim nervously looked down at her shoes, but forced herself to look him in the eye, " Tonight works for me. I have some things that I need to talk to you about too."
Jimmy's stomach did a flop. What if she felt the same way about him too? He forced himself to stay neutral. No sense in jumping the gun. "O.k., great. So, I'll meet you back here at the end of the shift?"
Kim smiled sadly, "Yeah." She watched as Jimmy ran to get ready to ride out and quietly hoped to herself he wouldn't hate her after tonight.
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Jimmy's night ended a little earlier than Kim's, so he decided to go home, take a shower, and change before they went to dinner. The last call had been a tough one and he felt like he had an inch of dirt all over him. Jimmy told D.K. to tell Kim that he would be back in a flash in case she got back before he did.
Kim dragged her tired body into the station, completely drained of any energy. She had been worrying about how to tell Jimmy what was going on all day, and the last patient had taken an extra long time to get settled. Heading upstairs, she heard D.K. call her name.
"Jimmy wanted me to tell you that he would be back soon. Last call was a pain in the ass, so he wanted to go home and clean up. So, you and Jimmy got a hot date tonight," he smiled.
Kim's head was spinning, "Did you say Jimmy went home?" Kim asked, hoping that she had heard him wrong.
"Yeah, but he should be back any minute, he left a while ago," D.K. answered, not understanding the look of panic that came over Kim's face.
"Oh god! He said that we would meet back here," Kim slumped to the stairs, oblivious to D.K.'s worried look.
"Kim, take it easy. He'll be back soon. He just-" he trailed off at the sight of Kim's retreating form.
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Kim had taken a long shower to try and relieve some of her tension, but it didn't work. She dressed slowly, not in any rush to see Jimmy. She finally emerged from the bathroom and sat on her bunk, leaning over, head in hands. She had no idea if Jimmy was back or not, and really was in no hurry to find out. There wasn't any way that he had missed what she had done, was there?
"So, you gonna from me all night, or are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" Jimmy's voice shook, trying to stay in control.
Kim looked up and saw Jimmy standing in the doorway, arms crossed, looking positively livid. Kim sighed and pushed her hair back from her face. "What do you mean?" Kim asked, hoping one last time that he hadn't really caught on.
"What the hell do you think I mean?! I walk in to the apartment, go into your room to take a shower, and all your stuff is gone! I called your mom's house, but she won't tell me a damn thing, telling me that I need to talk to you."
Kim stood and played with the hem of her shirt, "So you noticed that, huh?" Kim tried to smile, but failed miserably.
Jimmy's head was about to explode. He had planned on telling Kim how he felt tonight, went home, found her stuff missing, and now she was acting like nothing was going on. Jimmy moved closer to her and lifted her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. "Kim, if you don't tell me what's going on in the next few seconds, my head is gonna burst. Why is all your stuff gone from the apartment?"
Kim backed away a little, trying to steady herself. "Maybe we should sit," she suggested and moved back to her bunk, watching as Jimmy sat across from her. She took his hands in hers and finally looked him in the eye, "I wanted a chance to tell you before you found out on your own. I didn't think you would go home first."
Jimmy was losing patience, "Wanted a chance to tell me what?! Kim, I have no idea what is going on!"
Kim sighed, "I know I should have told you before I did it," Kim looked at his confused face, "My mom and my sister came and got my things today, while we were working, and took them back to my place."
Jimmy had no idea what to say to that. "Why?" was all he could ask.
"I really appreciate how you've taken care of me and Joey for the last couple months. I was in a really bad place and couldn't have made it without you. But I'm better now, and as much as I would like to stay, it's time for me to move on. Get back on my feet, you know?"
Jimmy shook his head slightly, not believing what he was hearing. He, in his stupidity, had waited too long. "Kim, I don't want you to go," he admitted quietly.
Tears flooded Kim's eyes, "I'll be o.k. I owe you so much for everything. I know how much you've had to give up for me and I just think it's time for both of us to get back to normal. It's better for us and better for Joey this way."
"Kim, you don't owe me anything. And you're wrong. I never had to give up anything because of you. I wanted to take care of you, not because I felt like I had to, but because I wanted to. I still want to," Jimmy pleaded, grasping her hands tightly.
Kim sniffed and smiled, "You're really sweet, but you need your life back. So do I."
Jimmy shook his head, "Kim, this is the first time I've liked my life in a long time. I like all of us being together again."
"It's just time to move on, Jimmy. Before things get to hard for everyone," Kim wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"I think it's a little late for that." Jimmy looked down and their joined hands. "So, what happens with Joey? Did you already tell him?"
"I told him I was gonna try staying at my place again. He's with my mom at my place right now. They were just cleaning and getting things in order. He seemed o.k." Kim gave him a watery smile.
Jimmy raised his tortured eyes to look at her. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this?"
"I didn't really know. I just woke up this morning and knew that things needed to go back to the way they were before."
Jimmy pulled his hands away, "Great, back to us hating each other and fighting all the time. Me never seeing Joey enough. How could you not miss that?," he asked sarcastically and stood up.
Kim stood and gently touched his arm, " It won't be like that. I don't want to go back to that."
Jimmy turned and cupped her face, "Than don't go. We can work things out the way it's been going," he tried to reason.
The tears were now running freely down Kim's face and she laid her hands over his, "Jimmy, I have to. I can't do this anymore. It's getting too comfortable and too hard. It'll be better this way. I promise. You can see Joey as often as you like and we'll be on better terms."
Jimmy sighed and rested his forehead against hers, eyes blurry with tears, " I don't want to lose you again, Kimmy."
"You won't, I promise," Kim closed her eyes, then stepped away. "I should probably get going."
"Don't suppose you're still interested in that dinner? Give me some more time to change your mind," Jimmy forced out a watery smile of his own.
Kim laughed and wiped the tears from her face, "Maybe some other time. You've officially wiped out the last of my energy."
"You need a ride home?" he asked, grasping at straws.
"No thanks, I feel like walking tonight." Kim caught the worried expression on his face. "I'll be fine, Jimmy. If I need somebody, I'll call you, o.k.?"
"Yeah," Jimmy smiled and watched her walk down stairs. He had officially blown it. Again.
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Jimmy woke up the next morning to find his apartment empty. He found a note from Kim saying she had dropped Joey off at school and would see him later at work. He groaned at the thought of work. He had hardly slept at all, thinking about the previous night's weird events. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had done something to upset Kim, but couldn't figure out what it was.
Three o'clock finally rolled around and Jimmy walked into work a determined man. He really needed to talk to Kim, so he was going to ask her to dinner, whether she liked it or not. He should have just been honest with her last night, but he was afraid. After thinking about it though, he was more afraid of never having a chance with her again than concerned about being quiet. In the midst of his planning, he ran in to said ex-wife.
"Oh. Hey Jimmy," Kim smiled nervously. She was hoping to avoid him until that night so she could get her thoughts together.
Jimmy smiled and pulled her aside, "I hope you don't have any plans tonight because I'm taking you out to dinner," Jimmy stated matter-of- factly. Nervously, he tried to gauge her reaction, but all he could tell was that she looked deep in thought. After an awkward period of silence, Jimmy could no longer stand it. "You know, at this point, a person is either supposed to accept or make some cheesy excuse to get out of it," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "So which one will you be giving me?"
Kim shook her head out of her daze and smiled at Jimmy. "To what do I owe the great, and may I say rare, honor of you spending money on me?"
Jimmy laughed in relief, glad that she seemed to be open to the idea. "Well, when you put it like that you make me sound so cheap."
"You don't need me to say anything to make you sound cheap, you are," she smiled, trying to keep the mood lighter than she felt.
"Alright, insult me much more and I might have to retract my offer," Jimmy smiled faded a little, "So. can I count you in for tonight? There's kinda some stuff I need to talk to you about and I'm only telling you that now so you hold me to it later."
Kim frowned, trying to understand what Jimmy was getting at, "That's a little cryptic, don't you think? Why don't you just tell me now?"
Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck nervously and laughed, "If I did that, it'd ruin the element of surprise."
Just then, the siren went off, calling both of them back to the real world. "I guess it's time to save the world," Kim smiled and started off.
Jimmy grabbed her arm lightly and turned her around, "You never gave me an answer about tonight," he smiled, trying not to seem as pathetic as he knew he was.
Kim nervously looked down at her shoes, but forced herself to look him in the eye, " Tonight works for me. I have some things that I need to talk to you about too."
Jimmy's stomach did a flop. What if she felt the same way about him too? He forced himself to stay neutral. No sense in jumping the gun. "O.k., great. So, I'll meet you back here at the end of the shift?"
Kim smiled sadly, "Yeah." She watched as Jimmy ran to get ready to ride out and quietly hoped to herself he wouldn't hate her after tonight.
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Jimmy's night ended a little earlier than Kim's, so he decided to go home, take a shower, and change before they went to dinner. The last call had been a tough one and he felt like he had an inch of dirt all over him. Jimmy told D.K. to tell Kim that he would be back in a flash in case she got back before he did.
Kim dragged her tired body into the station, completely drained of any energy. She had been worrying about how to tell Jimmy what was going on all day, and the last patient had taken an extra long time to get settled. Heading upstairs, she heard D.K. call her name.
"Jimmy wanted me to tell you that he would be back soon. Last call was a pain in the ass, so he wanted to go home and clean up. So, you and Jimmy got a hot date tonight," he smiled.
Kim's head was spinning, "Did you say Jimmy went home?" Kim asked, hoping that she had heard him wrong.
"Yeah, but he should be back any minute, he left a while ago," D.K. answered, not understanding the look of panic that came over Kim's face.
"Oh god! He said that we would meet back here," Kim slumped to the stairs, oblivious to D.K.'s worried look.
"Kim, take it easy. He'll be back soon. He just-" he trailed off at the sight of Kim's retreating form.
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Kim had taken a long shower to try and relieve some of her tension, but it didn't work. She dressed slowly, not in any rush to see Jimmy. She finally emerged from the bathroom and sat on her bunk, leaning over, head in hands. She had no idea if Jimmy was back or not, and really was in no hurry to find out. There wasn't any way that he had missed what she had done, was there?
"So, you gonna from me all night, or are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" Jimmy's voice shook, trying to stay in control.
Kim looked up and saw Jimmy standing in the doorway, arms crossed, looking positively livid. Kim sighed and pushed her hair back from her face. "What do you mean?" Kim asked, hoping one last time that he hadn't really caught on.
"What the hell do you think I mean?! I walk in to the apartment, go into your room to take a shower, and all your stuff is gone! I called your mom's house, but she won't tell me a damn thing, telling me that I need to talk to you."
Kim stood and played with the hem of her shirt, "So you noticed that, huh?" Kim tried to smile, but failed miserably.
Jimmy's head was about to explode. He had planned on telling Kim how he felt tonight, went home, found her stuff missing, and now she was acting like nothing was going on. Jimmy moved closer to her and lifted her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. "Kim, if you don't tell me what's going on in the next few seconds, my head is gonna burst. Why is all your stuff gone from the apartment?"
Kim backed away a little, trying to steady herself. "Maybe we should sit," she suggested and moved back to her bunk, watching as Jimmy sat across from her. She took his hands in hers and finally looked him in the eye, "I wanted a chance to tell you before you found out on your own. I didn't think you would go home first."
Jimmy was losing patience, "Wanted a chance to tell me what?! Kim, I have no idea what is going on!"
Kim sighed, "I know I should have told you before I did it," Kim looked at his confused face, "My mom and my sister came and got my things today, while we were working, and took them back to my place."
Jimmy had no idea what to say to that. "Why?" was all he could ask.
"I really appreciate how you've taken care of me and Joey for the last couple months. I was in a really bad place and couldn't have made it without you. But I'm better now, and as much as I would like to stay, it's time for me to move on. Get back on my feet, you know?"
Jimmy shook his head slightly, not believing what he was hearing. He, in his stupidity, had waited too long. "Kim, I don't want you to go," he admitted quietly.
Tears flooded Kim's eyes, "I'll be o.k. I owe you so much for everything. I know how much you've had to give up for me and I just think it's time for both of us to get back to normal. It's better for us and better for Joey this way."
"Kim, you don't owe me anything. And you're wrong. I never had to give up anything because of you. I wanted to take care of you, not because I felt like I had to, but because I wanted to. I still want to," Jimmy pleaded, grasping her hands tightly.
Kim sniffed and smiled, "You're really sweet, but you need your life back. So do I."
Jimmy shook his head, "Kim, this is the first time I've liked my life in a long time. I like all of us being together again."
"It's just time to move on, Jimmy. Before things get to hard for everyone," Kim wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"I think it's a little late for that." Jimmy looked down and their joined hands. "So, what happens with Joey? Did you already tell him?"
"I told him I was gonna try staying at my place again. He's with my mom at my place right now. They were just cleaning and getting things in order. He seemed o.k." Kim gave him a watery smile.
Jimmy raised his tortured eyes to look at her. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this?"
"I didn't really know. I just woke up this morning and knew that things needed to go back to the way they were before."
Jimmy pulled his hands away, "Great, back to us hating each other and fighting all the time. Me never seeing Joey enough. How could you not miss that?," he asked sarcastically and stood up.
Kim stood and gently touched his arm, " It won't be like that. I don't want to go back to that."
Jimmy turned and cupped her face, "Than don't go. We can work things out the way it's been going," he tried to reason.
The tears were now running freely down Kim's face and she laid her hands over his, "Jimmy, I have to. I can't do this anymore. It's getting too comfortable and too hard. It'll be better this way. I promise. You can see Joey as often as you like and we'll be on better terms."
Jimmy sighed and rested his forehead against hers, eyes blurry with tears, " I don't want to lose you again, Kimmy."
"You won't, I promise," Kim closed her eyes, then stepped away. "I should probably get going."
"Don't suppose you're still interested in that dinner? Give me some more time to change your mind," Jimmy forced out a watery smile of his own.
Kim laughed and wiped the tears from her face, "Maybe some other time. You've officially wiped out the last of my energy."
"You need a ride home?" he asked, grasping at straws.
"No thanks, I feel like walking tonight." Kim caught the worried expression on his face. "I'll be fine, Jimmy. If I need somebody, I'll call you, o.k.?"
"Yeah," Jimmy smiled and watched her walk down stairs. He had officially blown it. Again.