Sweet Taste Of Temptation
Author: yEpErEk "Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths" [volatile_vodka@hotmail.com]
Paring: Lust vs. innocence... or in other words Trunks 'n' Goten...hmm well that's the plan at least
Response: Hmmm if you are very desperate...then why not...I won't mind... I really won't ^_^
Rating/Warnings: If you can't cope with emotional breakdowns, mawkish and nauseatingly sentimental rubbish and if anything resembling shonen-ai gives you the creeps...well I suggest you politely skip this page and go onto something more 'interesting'. Thank you for your co-operation ^_^
***DISCLAMIER:*** Ehem here it goes - I don't even own a sane mind, vague sense of reality, the correct time dimension, fundamental abilities of coordination and speech, even the smallest writing talent, not to mention the striking deficiency of sense of humor... so how the hell could I own something like Dragon Ball or any part of it eh? Add to the above a very impractical brain and you'll know that I would have never come up with the idea for doing 'the bellow' for money... oh yeah, and if you are, by any chance, a person with a mind like a razor (sharp and _narrow_) then for your information I also am in no possession of that thing ningens call money, so don't waste your precious time and just don't sue me (I wouldn't have anything suitable to wear to the court anyhow...)... Hmm the only thing that is mine is the moss clearing, so any damage done to it is insignificant...(don't ask...)
[P.S. I really don't understand ppl who hate disclaimers...^-^]
~*~*~*~*~
Sweet Taste Of Temptation
Love is like a snake...
...it wraps around you...
...but if rejected - it will strangle you.
~*~*~*~*~
He kept ignoring that irritating pricking at the back of his head and tried to focus on not granting all that pain any access to his mind. Clasping his jaws tight and feeling stinging sweat run down his face and onto his burning eyes, he desperately questioned himself just how much longer could he last. Ten minutes? Thirty? One hour? Two at the most and only if he pushed his body to its limits...
He barely avoided that double punch, but the low knee kick brushed painfully against his calves, making him loose the rhythm. Yet, he still miraculously caught that incoming fist with both hands, only few, deadly millimeters from his agonizing nose. He somehow managed a small smirk and few hoarse words.
"Looks like you are getting far too slow for me..." He wanted to add 'my friend', but stopped himself in time and just hovered there, panting heavily. {{Two hours?! As if... ! Fifteen minutes would be amazing...}}
A smashing side kick was the only answer. And a very good one at that, because even though he managed to do the 'X' block with his arms, he still heard his ribs crackle warningly.
Gritting his teeth, he lunged forward, attempting to push back his opponent with quick punches. Most of them missed or were blocked, but few, with lethal accuracy crushed into the vulnerable flesh of the neck and face. But that wasn't enough to stop his rival, who returned every blow, but aiming at the exposed stomach... yet luckily not always successfully.
He knew that he couldn't keep up this pace... they been fighting for way too long now... Each part of his body screamed in pain, every muscle felt like it was being ripped apart and all the bones surely have been shattered a long time ago...
Suddenly, he saw that ball of light come swirling towards him, at top speed. {{This is it... goodbye cruel world...}} He laughed at his own, sarcastic thoughts and made a last, desperate attempt... knowing that it would cost him all his energy...
Without any warning, he appeared behind his surprised opponent, grabbing his arms into a deadlock and yanked him back, so that his rival's spine was painfully cambered and stopped him from any possible movement. He hold him tight in that tormenting embrace, until he felt his opponent powering down...
When he saw the demi-Saiyan's hair loosing its golden shade and turning into its original, ebony black, he too powered down, loosened up the grip and leaned forward in order to whisper something into the other one's ear. But that was a mistake...
The minute his cheek touched his rival's head, he felt something seizing his neck and few seconds later he found himself looking into two, startling blue pools. He wasn't even given time to gasp, yet alone turn golden... His rival just smiled evilly and made him fall down with one, good punch...
He crushed into the earth, feeling the air painfully escaping his lungs and the world spinning crazily. When he felt something heavily landing on him, he still was laying there, stunned, in that huge crater that he had created with his own body.
He slowly opened his eyes and saw that his rival had made himself quite comfortable on his sprawled body and was now happily crushing him with his evenly spread out weight to prevent any attempts of throwing him off. The bitter tastes of defeat crawled up his throat and into the mouth, which he opened to say something...anything... but only managed to silently spell out two words - "Get off."
"What was it you said I? I didn't quite hear..." The harmless cruelty of his sarcasm was spoiled by the heavy breathing, thin streams of perspiration and slightly blushed face, which showed just how much this fight had cost him. For a second the ebony haired boy stared down into those two, naturally blue eyes, but feeling that the other demi-Saiyan was trying to pull free, got hold of his arms with one hand, pressing them hard against the ground and with the other brushed off few strands of blue hair from the comely face to get a better view of his victory, whilst smiling a typical, innocent, child-like smile of his. He then leaned down and whispered into his ear, "Come on Trunks. That's it. I won, even if you think otherwise." He paused for a second and slightly twisted his face, so that he was nearly touching Trunks' cheek with his lips, in order to catch some eye contact, but failing straight away as the blue-haired boy closed his eyes instantly. So, he just half sat, half laid there and breathed quietly, whilst regaining some energy.
Trunks stop his struggling the minute he felt his friend's lips touch his ear, even if he didn't hear what he had said to him. He held his own breath, when he felt Goten's ones caress his face. When he felt the pleasant sensation tickle his body, he had to close his eyes, trying hard not to sigh. {{Damn it to hell! Not again. Is he doing this on purpose?! Or doesn't he just realize what he's doing to me? Kami his touch, his warmth, his smell...}} Indeed, Goten smelled very alluring, appetizing and inviting... {{Must... keep... control...}} He bit his lip and tried to think of all the reasons why fried cheese, onion sandwiches and grilled lobsters do not have a favorable place on his daily diet.
Goten saw the azure-haired boy bite his lip so hard, that a little trickle of blood appeared. Scared that he was causing him some greater pain, he jumped off and pulled Trunks up to a sitting position, who only then opened his eyes with a long sigh.
"Kami, sorry Trunks. I was just trying to tease ya. I didn't know that you were hurt so bad..."
"I'm not." He got up slowly, feeling with relief that his body had somehow calmed down. For now... {{He really doesn't know what effect he has on me... and I'm not going be the one to tell him, that's for sure.}}
"Then what...?" He was confused slightly - just a second ago he saw his friend's face lose all its color, but then immediately turn bright red again, his breathing slowed down dangerously and his body trembled, as if waves of pain were hitting him.
Trunks looked at the other demi-Saiyan and sighed again, only to wave his hand in a superfluous manner. "Let's just say that... I'm very tired...."
"Me too. You gave me real hard time... I must say, it's getting more and more difficult to beat ya."
"Hey, it's not like you win every time! Actually you rarely do. You were just lucky today, that's all."
"Aren't we just so full of ourselves... fine, whatever. I won't argue with a stubborn ass like you." He laughed, sticking out his tongue at Trunks, who had an urgent urge to grab that tongue... with his own mouth. {{Muuuust... keeep...coooontrol...}}
"I'm not stubborn, I'm just stating the obvious and..." He paused in mid-sentence when he saw Goten take off the top of his training suit - a recent present from Trunks' mother. His eyes fastened to that brilliantly sculpted torso, now glittering slightly in the sunlight, from all the sweat that covered it.
"Hey, are you..." Goten stopped, when he struggled with the belt of his trousers, designed of course by Bulma and thus impossible to open in the first six attempts. Trunks hearing his friend's words, jumped slightly and just as slightly started to panic, thinking that he had been caught on the very equivocal staring at his best friend's half unclad body.
Trunks swallowed hard. "...am I what?"
Finally managing to destroy the buckle and half of the belt, Goten looked up at the other boy. "Are you trying to start another fight with me? I think this eleven hour spar, which we just had, should do for now. I'm in no mood of battling you again...well not right at this moment." He smiled innocently, quite similarly to his father. "Actually, I'm in a mood for a good clean-up. Come on... Take off your clothes and let's go for a swim in that lake." He pointed to the large space of water behind his back and stared to pull off his trousers, not waiting for the other boy's reaction.
Trunks felt his legs go all soft. Luckily for his tormented mind and senses, Goten started hopping around when trying to pull of his pants and finally ended up with his back to the blue-haired boy...and a truly wonderful back at that.
His eyes traced down the curve of that spine and lower to the... {{Oh god damn it! Concentrate....}} ...mmmm...that ass was truly a rare sight... {{...on something else you fool!}} He half sighed, half groaned and with some effort turned his gaze away, slowly lifting in the air. Even though he had virtually no vim left, he knew that he had to try to get out of here...as soon and as quickly as possible... {{Before it's damn too late...}}
As he gradually turned around, he heard a loud splash followed by Goten's even louder words.
"Hurry up! The water is wonderful! Kami, I haven't felt this great in ages... The minute I'll regain my energy I'll race you to the other side!"
As he took off, slowly gaining speed and trying to fight off the exhaustion, he still managed to hear Goten's worried shouts.
"Hey what are doing? Trunks?! Where are you going? Wait for meeeeeeee...."
But he didn't. He couldn't. He had to find a safe place to calm down... and he had to find it _now_!
~*~*~*~*~
The small clearing was pleasantly hidden in the shade of the nearby trees and the soft moss, which covered most of the ground, looked more than welcoming. Half descending, half crushing, he ended up on the green pseudo-bed and fell asleep instantly, even though a sweet siesta was the last thing that he wanted.
When he eventually opened his eyes, a strange feeling of danger tickled his mind and so he sprung to his feet, looking feverishly around. But everything seemed to be alright... As he sat down again, he vaguely remembered how he made it here, his dreamless sleep and hoped that Goten hadn't managed to follow him. After all, his ki was so low that there was practically no chance of finding him in this wilderness...
The minute he recalled the last images of the ebony-eyed boy that he saw, a mixture of painful, cold prickles and irritably tender waves hit his still wearied body. He wanted to scream and moan at the same time, but most of all he wanted _him_
{{So bloody what if I do? What difference does it make what _I_ want and need? After all Goten doesn't give a damn about me and my...No! He's not even worth of thinking about...}}
Somehow he managed to get up again, trying hard to shut off anything concerning that boy... but it was so hard. That sweet smile, those beautiful eyes, that soft hair, that satin skin, that....
"Arghhhhhh!" He threw himself at the first tree in view and hugged the coarse bark with all the desperation that he felt right then... but the painful sorrow and sadness soon gave way to even more painful anger and hopelessness, which made him swung back and crush his fist into the trunk, breaking the seventy old oak like a dry stick.
Seeing the destruction, he felt slightly better and repeated his mad attacks on the innocent trees, so that soon the clearing increased drastically in diameter.
But having annihilated the nth tall, woody plant, he felt even worse, realizing that his stupid problems and inability to cope with them, had harmed the blameless nature. {{Baka! Baka! BAKA! And what else are you going to do now? Go and kill people in the streets?!}}
He collapsed onto the ground and leaned against one of the fallen trunks, his face hidden in his now slightly bleeding hands. {{I'm sick and tired of this situation! Is it my fault that my Saiyan blood has finally awoken... and that as a result I feel attracted to that... that gorgeous idiot?}} A weak wave of laughter trembled his body. {{Out of all the men, it had to be Goten, didn't it? I could have easily have coped if it had been Goku, Goten, Picolo... or even Yamcha. But nooooo... it had to be my best friend!}} He slammed his fist into the ground, making a large hole in the ground. {{Why him?! WHY ME?!}} The second fist followed, making a symmetrical cavity at the other side of him.
A large tear rolled down his face. He couldn't take it any longer and he knew that sooner or later he'll either go completely insane or he'll do something that he will regret for the rest of his miserable life...neither of the possibilities was very tempting.
For the first time in his life... no, for the millionth time in the past few weeks, he had cursed his Saiyan blood and when that didn't help he cursed Bulma and the rest of the ningens for raising him as one of them, until he eventually blamed everything on Vegeta for not intervening and not bringing him up as a full blooded Saiyan... but none of that made him feel better, it only increased his agony... his never ending agony of 'what is right' and of 'what he, himself, wanted', which in the end had torn him apart into two different...hmmm parts? people? Whatever it was, he didn't recognize neither of the two...
Few more salty drops made their way down his fine features and he knew that he was on the brink of bursting into tears - something that neither of 'his' worlds accepted, as in both cases a young man was not allowed to show any weakness. But did he care? Of course not... so why did he care so much about 'the rules' when it came down to the most important thing - Goten?
Because it was only an excuse. It was easier for him to cope with the truth when he knew that his ningen world would never accept or understand what he felt and what he wanted...and his Saiyan world? After all, he knew that this was normal...
His smiled faintly when he remembered the day that Vegeta, his 'dear' father, had decided that it was time to educate his son about all the aspects of Saiyan heritage, which he had to understand and accept without one question...besides he was too surprised then to ask any questions...
His smile grew even wider, when he recalled the face of his mother, who found out that Vegeta had told their six year old son about sex, reproduction and mainly gay relationships...and with very graphical words at that. Yep, she wasn't too happy about it, but there was nothing she could have done...just like there's nothing he could do now...
At least he knew why this was happening, but that didn't mean that he accepted it... well, he didn't see anything wrong in being attracted to another man, but as long as it wasn't his best friend! The fact that he knew Goten so well, that they had spent so much time together and that they were so inseparable was the true obstacle, which was partly caused by his Saiyan world - the only world he knew that encouraged him to take his so far platonic affection and move on, to something 'bigger'...
{{One thing contradicts the other...typical...}} The more he though about it, the more confused he got, but yet it made so much sense... to him. Ningens were against this possible relationship, which was good as it theoretically stopped him from doing anything in this direction. The Saiyans where for this relationship, but they on the other hand didn't accept love and/or any other emotions, leaving him torn between two options - should he love in silence and never touch Goten? Or should he let his lust and passion free, take Goten (even if it meant by force) and forget about any feelings?
He didn't want neither of them - he wanted both of them...as one - a true human relationship...with another man. There was no way out this impasse... and that was actually helpful for him...
His mind was at such a state that he saw logic where only nonsense existed. In his way of thinking, having his 'hands tied up' like this, gave him a good justification for doing nothing... another absurdity and yet for him the only thing that kept him sane. If anybody could hear his thoughts right then, they would have doubted strongly in his mental normalcy, but luckily nobody could... right?
He got up and started to walk in small circles, trying hard to ignore any thoughts about his little obsession and yet he was fully concentrated on Goten. As if his mind wanted to torture its owner even more, he kept seeing different images of the other demi-Saiyan... none of them being decent... How he managed to stay relatively calm, was truly a wonder.
He finally stopped by one of the untouched trees, and leaned against it, his forehead pressing hard against its rough surface. {{Ok, let's face it. I love Goten and there's no doubt about it... I've known about it for weeks now and yet I have made no signs, which would show or reveal what I truly feel...even when he unconsciously provoked me...}} He snorted quietly {{...anyone else in my situation, would have given in a long time ago, but I have a strong will. But so what, if this freaking determination will drive me mad soon...}} He sighed loudly, feeling familiar cramps in his chest. {{Or Goten, Goten.. if only you were different... I wouldn't have given a damn about what all those people thought... we could have been so happy together...}}
And it was true, if the raven-haired boy wouldn't have been so innocent, so inexperienced, so completely unaware of anything... then he wouldn't have thought twice about what the humans did or didn't accept and the insignificant definition of Saiyan relationships or the lack of love in their world... after all, it was, as he kept constantly repeating, only a pathetic excuse... an excuse which covered the true reason of his anguish and torments.
His biggest problem was that Goten was his best friend... his only friend...and a very attractive young man at the same time... whilst being totally innocent, naïve and vulnerable when it came down to such topics. He had no idea how Goten would feel or react if one day he'd just walk up to him and tell him that he adores him and that he wants to make passionate love to him right at that spot...or even better, he could just show him what he wants by one fervent kiss... and then what? Force Goten to have sex with him? Rape him? {{NO WAY!}} He could never, ever do this to him - he would hate himself for the rest of his life... {{No, I will not do anything against Goten...if I'll do anything it will be something that he wants too...}} But he knew that the demi-Saiyan wouldn't even understand {{I doubt that Goku was as practical as my father, as far as sexual education goes}}... yet alone feel the same...
And that was it, that was the essence of the whole situation, the thing which paralyzed him and prevented him from even trying - he was scared of failure... he wouldn't survive rejection. But then again, at this rate, he wouldn't survive till next week and just lay down anywhere in order to die of misery... a very exciting perspective.
His bitter laugh echoed in the deserted woods and he finally looked up, only to see that the day was ending. He wiped off the leftovers of his sorrow from his slightly dirty face. He knew that he had to go back home, clean up and go to bed, even if it meant another sleepless, horrible night...another night without him. {{Pull yourself together... I'm a man and I'm a Saiyan and even if I hate both, I have to act as they all expect me to...}} He looked down at his feet and prayed silently for some divine intervention which would solve this situation, bring him peace and happiness - a salvation that he desperately needed... before it was too late.
A painful scowl appeared on his delicate face, followed by a heartbreaking sigh {{ I'll might have to suffer in silence, but at least I'll suffer with dignity...}} With those words, he took off, heading for Capsule Corps. and holding on tightly to one thought - he'll never let Goten find out... He'll never harm him... He'll never accept rejection...
THE END
yEpErEk
[to be continued...somewhere, somehow]
Author: yEpErEk "Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths" [volatile_vodka@hotmail.com]
Paring: Lust vs. innocence... or in other words Trunks 'n' Goten...hmm well that's the plan at least
Response: Hmmm if you are very desperate...then why not...I won't mind... I really won't ^_^
Rating/Warnings: If you can't cope with emotional breakdowns, mawkish and nauseatingly sentimental rubbish and if anything resembling shonen-ai gives you the creeps...well I suggest you politely skip this page and go onto something more 'interesting'. Thank you for your co-operation ^_^
***DISCLAMIER:*** Ehem here it goes - I don't even own a sane mind, vague sense of reality, the correct time dimension, fundamental abilities of coordination and speech, even the smallest writing talent, not to mention the striking deficiency of sense of humor... so how the hell could I own something like Dragon Ball or any part of it eh? Add to the above a very impractical brain and you'll know that I would have never come up with the idea for doing 'the bellow' for money... oh yeah, and if you are, by any chance, a person with a mind like a razor (sharp and _narrow_) then for your information I also am in no possession of that thing ningens call money, so don't waste your precious time and just don't sue me (I wouldn't have anything suitable to wear to the court anyhow...)... Hmm the only thing that is mine is the moss clearing, so any damage done to it is insignificant...(don't ask...)
[P.S. I really don't understand ppl who hate disclaimers...^-^]
~*~*~*~*~
Sweet Taste Of Temptation
Love is like a snake...
...it wraps around you...
...but if rejected - it will strangle you.
~*~*~*~*~
He kept ignoring that irritating pricking at the back of his head and tried to focus on not granting all that pain any access to his mind. Clasping his jaws tight and feeling stinging sweat run down his face and onto his burning eyes, he desperately questioned himself just how much longer could he last. Ten minutes? Thirty? One hour? Two at the most and only if he pushed his body to its limits...
He barely avoided that double punch, but the low knee kick brushed painfully against his calves, making him loose the rhythm. Yet, he still miraculously caught that incoming fist with both hands, only few, deadly millimeters from his agonizing nose. He somehow managed a small smirk and few hoarse words.
"Looks like you are getting far too slow for me..." He wanted to add 'my friend', but stopped himself in time and just hovered there, panting heavily. {{Two hours?! As if... ! Fifteen minutes would be amazing...}}
A smashing side kick was the only answer. And a very good one at that, because even though he managed to do the 'X' block with his arms, he still heard his ribs crackle warningly.
Gritting his teeth, he lunged forward, attempting to push back his opponent with quick punches. Most of them missed or were blocked, but few, with lethal accuracy crushed into the vulnerable flesh of the neck and face. But that wasn't enough to stop his rival, who returned every blow, but aiming at the exposed stomach... yet luckily not always successfully.
He knew that he couldn't keep up this pace... they been fighting for way too long now... Each part of his body screamed in pain, every muscle felt like it was being ripped apart and all the bones surely have been shattered a long time ago...
Suddenly, he saw that ball of light come swirling towards him, at top speed. {{This is it... goodbye cruel world...}} He laughed at his own, sarcastic thoughts and made a last, desperate attempt... knowing that it would cost him all his energy...
Without any warning, he appeared behind his surprised opponent, grabbing his arms into a deadlock and yanked him back, so that his rival's spine was painfully cambered and stopped him from any possible movement. He hold him tight in that tormenting embrace, until he felt his opponent powering down...
When he saw the demi-Saiyan's hair loosing its golden shade and turning into its original, ebony black, he too powered down, loosened up the grip and leaned forward in order to whisper something into the other one's ear. But that was a mistake...
The minute his cheek touched his rival's head, he felt something seizing his neck and few seconds later he found himself looking into two, startling blue pools. He wasn't even given time to gasp, yet alone turn golden... His rival just smiled evilly and made him fall down with one, good punch...
He crushed into the earth, feeling the air painfully escaping his lungs and the world spinning crazily. When he felt something heavily landing on him, he still was laying there, stunned, in that huge crater that he had created with his own body.
He slowly opened his eyes and saw that his rival had made himself quite comfortable on his sprawled body and was now happily crushing him with his evenly spread out weight to prevent any attempts of throwing him off. The bitter tastes of defeat crawled up his throat and into the mouth, which he opened to say something...anything... but only managed to silently spell out two words - "Get off."
"What was it you said I? I didn't quite hear..." The harmless cruelty of his sarcasm was spoiled by the heavy breathing, thin streams of perspiration and slightly blushed face, which showed just how much this fight had cost him. For a second the ebony haired boy stared down into those two, naturally blue eyes, but feeling that the other demi-Saiyan was trying to pull free, got hold of his arms with one hand, pressing them hard against the ground and with the other brushed off few strands of blue hair from the comely face to get a better view of his victory, whilst smiling a typical, innocent, child-like smile of his. He then leaned down and whispered into his ear, "Come on Trunks. That's it. I won, even if you think otherwise." He paused for a second and slightly twisted his face, so that he was nearly touching Trunks' cheek with his lips, in order to catch some eye contact, but failing straight away as the blue-haired boy closed his eyes instantly. So, he just half sat, half laid there and breathed quietly, whilst regaining some energy.
Trunks stop his struggling the minute he felt his friend's lips touch his ear, even if he didn't hear what he had said to him. He held his own breath, when he felt Goten's ones caress his face. When he felt the pleasant sensation tickle his body, he had to close his eyes, trying hard not to sigh. {{Damn it to hell! Not again. Is he doing this on purpose?! Or doesn't he just realize what he's doing to me? Kami his touch, his warmth, his smell...}} Indeed, Goten smelled very alluring, appetizing and inviting... {{Must... keep... control...}} He bit his lip and tried to think of all the reasons why fried cheese, onion sandwiches and grilled lobsters do not have a favorable place on his daily diet.
Goten saw the azure-haired boy bite his lip so hard, that a little trickle of blood appeared. Scared that he was causing him some greater pain, he jumped off and pulled Trunks up to a sitting position, who only then opened his eyes with a long sigh.
"Kami, sorry Trunks. I was just trying to tease ya. I didn't know that you were hurt so bad..."
"I'm not." He got up slowly, feeling with relief that his body had somehow calmed down. For now... {{He really doesn't know what effect he has on me... and I'm not going be the one to tell him, that's for sure.}}
"Then what...?" He was confused slightly - just a second ago he saw his friend's face lose all its color, but then immediately turn bright red again, his breathing slowed down dangerously and his body trembled, as if waves of pain were hitting him.
Trunks looked at the other demi-Saiyan and sighed again, only to wave his hand in a superfluous manner. "Let's just say that... I'm very tired...."
"Me too. You gave me real hard time... I must say, it's getting more and more difficult to beat ya."
"Hey, it's not like you win every time! Actually you rarely do. You were just lucky today, that's all."
"Aren't we just so full of ourselves... fine, whatever. I won't argue with a stubborn ass like you." He laughed, sticking out his tongue at Trunks, who had an urgent urge to grab that tongue... with his own mouth. {{Muuuust... keeep...coooontrol...}}
"I'm not stubborn, I'm just stating the obvious and..." He paused in mid-sentence when he saw Goten take off the top of his training suit - a recent present from Trunks' mother. His eyes fastened to that brilliantly sculpted torso, now glittering slightly in the sunlight, from all the sweat that covered it.
"Hey, are you..." Goten stopped, when he struggled with the belt of his trousers, designed of course by Bulma and thus impossible to open in the first six attempts. Trunks hearing his friend's words, jumped slightly and just as slightly started to panic, thinking that he had been caught on the very equivocal staring at his best friend's half unclad body.
Trunks swallowed hard. "...am I what?"
Finally managing to destroy the buckle and half of the belt, Goten looked up at the other boy. "Are you trying to start another fight with me? I think this eleven hour spar, which we just had, should do for now. I'm in no mood of battling you again...well not right at this moment." He smiled innocently, quite similarly to his father. "Actually, I'm in a mood for a good clean-up. Come on... Take off your clothes and let's go for a swim in that lake." He pointed to the large space of water behind his back and stared to pull off his trousers, not waiting for the other boy's reaction.
Trunks felt his legs go all soft. Luckily for his tormented mind and senses, Goten started hopping around when trying to pull of his pants and finally ended up with his back to the blue-haired boy...and a truly wonderful back at that.
His eyes traced down the curve of that spine and lower to the... {{Oh god damn it! Concentrate....}} ...mmmm...that ass was truly a rare sight... {{...on something else you fool!}} He half sighed, half groaned and with some effort turned his gaze away, slowly lifting in the air. Even though he had virtually no vim left, he knew that he had to try to get out of here...as soon and as quickly as possible... {{Before it's damn too late...}}
As he gradually turned around, he heard a loud splash followed by Goten's even louder words.
"Hurry up! The water is wonderful! Kami, I haven't felt this great in ages... The minute I'll regain my energy I'll race you to the other side!"
As he took off, slowly gaining speed and trying to fight off the exhaustion, he still managed to hear Goten's worried shouts.
"Hey what are doing? Trunks?! Where are you going? Wait for meeeeeeee...."
But he didn't. He couldn't. He had to find a safe place to calm down... and he had to find it _now_!
~*~*~*~*~
The small clearing was pleasantly hidden in the shade of the nearby trees and the soft moss, which covered most of the ground, looked more than welcoming. Half descending, half crushing, he ended up on the green pseudo-bed and fell asleep instantly, even though a sweet siesta was the last thing that he wanted.
When he eventually opened his eyes, a strange feeling of danger tickled his mind and so he sprung to his feet, looking feverishly around. But everything seemed to be alright... As he sat down again, he vaguely remembered how he made it here, his dreamless sleep and hoped that Goten hadn't managed to follow him. After all, his ki was so low that there was practically no chance of finding him in this wilderness...
The minute he recalled the last images of the ebony-eyed boy that he saw, a mixture of painful, cold prickles and irritably tender waves hit his still wearied body. He wanted to scream and moan at the same time, but most of all he wanted _him_
{{So bloody what if I do? What difference does it make what _I_ want and need? After all Goten doesn't give a damn about me and my...No! He's not even worth of thinking about...}}
Somehow he managed to get up again, trying hard to shut off anything concerning that boy... but it was so hard. That sweet smile, those beautiful eyes, that soft hair, that satin skin, that....
"Arghhhhhh!" He threw himself at the first tree in view and hugged the coarse bark with all the desperation that he felt right then... but the painful sorrow and sadness soon gave way to even more painful anger and hopelessness, which made him swung back and crush his fist into the trunk, breaking the seventy old oak like a dry stick.
Seeing the destruction, he felt slightly better and repeated his mad attacks on the innocent trees, so that soon the clearing increased drastically in diameter.
But having annihilated the nth tall, woody plant, he felt even worse, realizing that his stupid problems and inability to cope with them, had harmed the blameless nature. {{Baka! Baka! BAKA! And what else are you going to do now? Go and kill people in the streets?!}}
He collapsed onto the ground and leaned against one of the fallen trunks, his face hidden in his now slightly bleeding hands. {{I'm sick and tired of this situation! Is it my fault that my Saiyan blood has finally awoken... and that as a result I feel attracted to that... that gorgeous idiot?}} A weak wave of laughter trembled his body. {{Out of all the men, it had to be Goten, didn't it? I could have easily have coped if it had been Goku, Goten, Picolo... or even Yamcha. But nooooo... it had to be my best friend!}} He slammed his fist into the ground, making a large hole in the ground. {{Why him?! WHY ME?!}} The second fist followed, making a symmetrical cavity at the other side of him.
A large tear rolled down his face. He couldn't take it any longer and he knew that sooner or later he'll either go completely insane or he'll do something that he will regret for the rest of his miserable life...neither of the possibilities was very tempting.
For the first time in his life... no, for the millionth time in the past few weeks, he had cursed his Saiyan blood and when that didn't help he cursed Bulma and the rest of the ningens for raising him as one of them, until he eventually blamed everything on Vegeta for not intervening and not bringing him up as a full blooded Saiyan... but none of that made him feel better, it only increased his agony... his never ending agony of 'what is right' and of 'what he, himself, wanted', which in the end had torn him apart into two different...hmmm parts? people? Whatever it was, he didn't recognize neither of the two...
Few more salty drops made their way down his fine features and he knew that he was on the brink of bursting into tears - something that neither of 'his' worlds accepted, as in both cases a young man was not allowed to show any weakness. But did he care? Of course not... so why did he care so much about 'the rules' when it came down to the most important thing - Goten?
Because it was only an excuse. It was easier for him to cope with the truth when he knew that his ningen world would never accept or understand what he felt and what he wanted...and his Saiyan world? After all, he knew that this was normal...
His smiled faintly when he remembered the day that Vegeta, his 'dear' father, had decided that it was time to educate his son about all the aspects of Saiyan heritage, which he had to understand and accept without one question...besides he was too surprised then to ask any questions...
His smile grew even wider, when he recalled the face of his mother, who found out that Vegeta had told their six year old son about sex, reproduction and mainly gay relationships...and with very graphical words at that. Yep, she wasn't too happy about it, but there was nothing she could have done...just like there's nothing he could do now...
At least he knew why this was happening, but that didn't mean that he accepted it... well, he didn't see anything wrong in being attracted to another man, but as long as it wasn't his best friend! The fact that he knew Goten so well, that they had spent so much time together and that they were so inseparable was the true obstacle, which was partly caused by his Saiyan world - the only world he knew that encouraged him to take his so far platonic affection and move on, to something 'bigger'...
{{One thing contradicts the other...typical...}} The more he though about it, the more confused he got, but yet it made so much sense... to him. Ningens were against this possible relationship, which was good as it theoretically stopped him from doing anything in this direction. The Saiyans where for this relationship, but they on the other hand didn't accept love and/or any other emotions, leaving him torn between two options - should he love in silence and never touch Goten? Or should he let his lust and passion free, take Goten (even if it meant by force) and forget about any feelings?
He didn't want neither of them - he wanted both of them...as one - a true human relationship...with another man. There was no way out this impasse... and that was actually helpful for him...
His mind was at such a state that he saw logic where only nonsense existed. In his way of thinking, having his 'hands tied up' like this, gave him a good justification for doing nothing... another absurdity and yet for him the only thing that kept him sane. If anybody could hear his thoughts right then, they would have doubted strongly in his mental normalcy, but luckily nobody could... right?
He got up and started to walk in small circles, trying hard to ignore any thoughts about his little obsession and yet he was fully concentrated on Goten. As if his mind wanted to torture its owner even more, he kept seeing different images of the other demi-Saiyan... none of them being decent... How he managed to stay relatively calm, was truly a wonder.
He finally stopped by one of the untouched trees, and leaned against it, his forehead pressing hard against its rough surface. {{Ok, let's face it. I love Goten and there's no doubt about it... I've known about it for weeks now and yet I have made no signs, which would show or reveal what I truly feel...even when he unconsciously provoked me...}} He snorted quietly {{...anyone else in my situation, would have given in a long time ago, but I have a strong will. But so what, if this freaking determination will drive me mad soon...}} He sighed loudly, feeling familiar cramps in his chest. {{Or Goten, Goten.. if only you were different... I wouldn't have given a damn about what all those people thought... we could have been so happy together...}}
And it was true, if the raven-haired boy wouldn't have been so innocent, so inexperienced, so completely unaware of anything... then he wouldn't have thought twice about what the humans did or didn't accept and the insignificant definition of Saiyan relationships or the lack of love in their world... after all, it was, as he kept constantly repeating, only a pathetic excuse... an excuse which covered the true reason of his anguish and torments.
His biggest problem was that Goten was his best friend... his only friend...and a very attractive young man at the same time... whilst being totally innocent, naïve and vulnerable when it came down to such topics. He had no idea how Goten would feel or react if one day he'd just walk up to him and tell him that he adores him and that he wants to make passionate love to him right at that spot...or even better, he could just show him what he wants by one fervent kiss... and then what? Force Goten to have sex with him? Rape him? {{NO WAY!}} He could never, ever do this to him - he would hate himself for the rest of his life... {{No, I will not do anything against Goten...if I'll do anything it will be something that he wants too...}} But he knew that the demi-Saiyan wouldn't even understand {{I doubt that Goku was as practical as my father, as far as sexual education goes}}... yet alone feel the same...
And that was it, that was the essence of the whole situation, the thing which paralyzed him and prevented him from even trying - he was scared of failure... he wouldn't survive rejection. But then again, at this rate, he wouldn't survive till next week and just lay down anywhere in order to die of misery... a very exciting perspective.
His bitter laugh echoed in the deserted woods and he finally looked up, only to see that the day was ending. He wiped off the leftovers of his sorrow from his slightly dirty face. He knew that he had to go back home, clean up and go to bed, even if it meant another sleepless, horrible night...another night without him. {{Pull yourself together... I'm a man and I'm a Saiyan and even if I hate both, I have to act as they all expect me to...}} He looked down at his feet and prayed silently for some divine intervention which would solve this situation, bring him peace and happiness - a salvation that he desperately needed... before it was too late.
A painful scowl appeared on his delicate face, followed by a heartbreaking sigh {{ I'll might have to suffer in silence, but at least I'll suffer with dignity...}} With those words, he took off, heading for Capsule Corps. and holding on tightly to one thought - he'll never let Goten find out... He'll never harm him... He'll never accept rejection...
THE END
yEpErEk
[to be continued...somewhere, somehow]