PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER: I like Meiling a lot. I didn't realize it until I randomly began paying some attention to the first arc of CCS and realized that since Eriol and all the amusing fobiles that come with him are missing, Meiling is just about my favorite thing contained within.
Well, then there's Syaoran who I adore unconditionally, but he's always there and Meiling's not. So, um, there.
Anyways, I was thinking about arranged marriages and chinese culture and this just kind of happened. And yes, I am writing this while I COULD be writing Cessation, but Meiling isn't in Chapter 13. She's in this. This fic is also a bit dark, but I would like to note that no real song birds (or real Meilings, for that matter) were harmed during the production of this story. I don't own CCS and neither do you. Isn't life grand? ==================================================================== The Caged Bird Does Not Sing
Izzy Girl The ideal chinese girl is brought up to be demure, polite, intelligent, respectful of men and handy in the kitchen. The fact that she never fit into that particular mold was never exactly a problem for Li Meiling since she'd been betrothed to her cousin for as long as she could remember. Syaoran was used to her general disregard for chinese tradition as well as her intimidating personality. Besides which, he could cook. That had all changed, however, less than three years earlier when Syaoran had broken the engagement upon falling for, of all things, a Japanese magician by the name of Sakura Kinomoto. Meiling was horrified at first, and angry, but eventually realized that it was all for the better since the idea of bearing Syaoran's children made her feel queasy. After all, they were almost like brother and sister. So, at fifteen years of age and finishing off her freshman year, Meiling had just been getting used to the idea of perhaps being chinese, female and unmarried. It was June when her mother first tapped lightly on her door, bearing ill news and a small, decorative box. "You did WHAT!?" Mistress Li folded her hands together and took a few steps back, "Meiling, dear, you have to understand that this is expected. When Xiao Lang broke the engagement we were not unprepared." Meiling was pacing, still dressed in her pajamas with her long, dark hair askew and sleep not yet rubbed out of her eyes, "Then why did you wait three years to tell me this!" "Ah..." Mistress Li shrugged slightly, "Your father and I were simply waiting for a... prudent moment to inform you." "It's seven thirty in the morning, mother. I have to go to school today and my final exams are in two weeks. Couldn't you have at least..." Mistress Li caught her daughter by the shoulder and forced the small box into Meiling's hands. The girl paused in her ranting and observed the box with intrest, "What's this?" "An offering from your fiancee." Meiling sat back on her bed and opened the box delicately. She removed the necklace and dangled it in front of her, admiring the way it's silver chain caught the early morning sunlight, "His name is Wun Ming," Mistress Li continued, sensing an ebb in the tide of Meiling's mood, "He's twenty one years old. A smart boy and a martial arts expert. He's studying to be a Doctor in Beijing and..." Meiling looked up in delayed shock, "Twenty one?" Mistress Li nodded, "Yes, is there a problem?" Meiling stood and dropped the necklace, eyes wide, "Twenty one!? Mother, he's six years older than me!" "Dear, there's nothing really extrodinary about that." "Yes. Yes there is! Syaoran wasn't even a year older than me..." Mistress Li bent down to collect the necklace between her frail fingers. She tsked and entwined it aroud her thumb and forefinger noticing that her daughter had bent the fragile metal in her strong grasp. She realized that her child was very different from her. Everything about her was coarse and strong, Meiling knew nothing of delicacy or patience, "Well, you aren't engaged to Xiao Lang any longer. Meiling, you can't be stuck on your cousin for the rest of your life." "I'm not stuck on Syaoran..." Mistress Li ignored this comment and spoke distractedly as she studied the necklace, "Your father and I agreed that it's most likely better for you to be married to an older man anyways. You need to be tamed." "Tamed?" Meiling repeated, "Did you just say that I need to be tamed?" the words sounded strange and hollow in her throat. Her parents thought that she needed to be tamed! "I wouldn't worry too much about it, dear." Mistress Li covered the short distance between her and her daughter, placing the necklace softly around Meiling's neck and patting the girl on the head in an awkward, motherly gesture, "Master Li will be expecting you for breakfast in half an hour. I would read the letter left on your bedside table before coming down. I would also suggest that you adjust your attitude before facing your father." ~*~ "Adjust your attitude before speaking to me." Meiling narrowed her dark eyes, but refused to nurse her burning cheek. She was only six years old, but knew with that definite Li Clan pride that she was right. Nothing her father said or did could change her mind. "You need to learn a few lessons in life, daughter, that will make things much easier for you." he turned his back and Meiling huffed, finally touching her red cheek with on, small hand, "First of all, never address your father in such a manner. You must always respect your parents. Second of all, and more importantly, never speak to any man with attitude in your voice. I am... accoustomed to your ways and I love you, but a husband may not be so lenient. You must always be on your best behavior with men." 'On your best behavior'. Meiling would have snorted at this comment, but was smart enough not to. She had earned her share of slaps for the night. Instead she allowed all her anger to build and boil up inside her until she was simmering just beneath the surface. 'On my best behavior? More like submission. I'll never allow a man to control me. Not my father, not Xiao Lang, not my husband. No one.' ~*~ "Tame me! Do you believe that, Xiao Lang? My mother suggested that I need a MAN to TAME me!" "Meiling..." "I couldn't believe it! Six years older than me- he's practically ancient!" "Meiling..." "I don't need a man in my life. I didn't need you and I don't need this Dr. Wun Ming or whatever the hell his name is... I ESPECIALLY don't need a man to control me!" "Meiling!" She stopped pacing and placed her hands on her hips, regarding her cousin with pleading eyes, "What do you think, Xiao Lang?" Syaoran sighed heavily and pointed towards the well-used arm chair she was standing in front of, "Sit, Meiling." Meiling tipped her head, "Was that an order, cousin dearest?" her mood changing from needy to dangerous within the span of three seconds. "No, it was a suggestion." Meiling rolled her eyes and fell back into the chair, "Well?" "I think that you're taking this entire matter too seriously." Meiling choked and shot up, straightening her back and tensing her muscles like a cat prepared to fight, "What the hell are you talking about!? This is the rest of my life that's on the line!" Syaoran shrugged, "Everyone knows arranged marriages are a joke in this day and age. All you're going to be doing is bearing his children and acting happy around your parents. No one said you had to love him. Hell, you could even divorce him if you didn't mind the risk of getting disowned." "That's not the point!" "What's he like?" "Uh..." Meiling relaxed and eased back in the chair slightly, "He's nice, I guess. In the letter he sent mother he seemed very polite and well spoken. He's going to be a doctor and... and he's into martial arts." "There." Syaoran smiled, "You have something in common at least." "That's STILL not the point!" Meiling retorted miserably, "He'll want to control me! He'll want me to be submissive and to rub his feet and to make dinner and... and I can't cook, Syaoran!" "So you think you'll have to compromise your personality." Syaoran said calmly, "You're afraid that by getting married you'll somehow become a weaker person." Meiling blinked a few times. Her shoulders fell and she released a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's it." Syaoran shook his head, "Meiling, have you ever met my mother?" "Of course I've met your mother, Xiao Lang." Meiling sighed in exasperation, "But she's of the Li clan. There's a difference there. She has... she has..." "She has the magic, right?" "Exactly! And I don't!" "It doesn't matter, Meiling, you're still a woman of the Li clan. Think about everything you've been through. Just because you don't have Clow's blood doesn't make you any less of a person." "I know that..." Syaoran leaned forwards and spoke softly, "Then what are you so afraid of?" ~*~ 'Afraid? That's ridiculous, I'm not afraid of anything!' Meiling's fist connected with the tree trunk. Once, twice, three times before she pulled it away and watched the blood roll down her fist, 'How could Syaoran even suggest that! I am Li Meiling. Even though I have no magic in my blood, I could still kick his ass. I defeated the Fight Card single handedly, or did he forget that!?' ~*~ "He's got six years in martial arts training over me..." "And that bothers you, why?" "Because it means I may not always win in a fight." "Meiling, it's a marriage, not a competition..." ~*~ "Everything's a competition." she growled, punching the tree one more time and ignoring the searing pain it sent through her entire hand, "Especially this." once more, and the bark cracked. She drew back and was surprised to see that her blood was smeared on the freshly exposed wood. She rubbed her fist gently and cringed inwardly at her own weakness. "Syaoran just doesn't understand." she mumbled to herself, stepping away from the tree, "He doesn't understand that it was different with him because I knew that I wes better. He had magic in his blood, but I was a better martial artist!" she felt the anger rise again and she kicked the tree viciously. The barked made a sick crunching noise and fell from where her foot had impacted with the trunk. "If I'm not better than my husband I'll just be another useless, chinese waif." she kicked the tree again in the same spot, but heard nothing except for a dull, lifeless thud. She closed one hand around the necklace her fiancee had given her, "Wedding gift, huh? More like a ball and chain." she tightened her fist around the jewelry and grumbled, "Why the hell am I still wearing this!?" she ripped it none too graciously from her neck and threw it as far as she could. It landed in a small duck pond without a sound. She watched after it for a few moments, realizing that she had probably just done something very foolish, then fell backwards into the long grass, closing her eyes. 'What are you so afraid of? 'Maybe I am afraid.' she admitted silently, 'Maybe I'm so afraid that it shakes me down to my very corse. Maybe I'm crying inside but I don't know it.' she opened her eyes and stared up at the sky. It was overcast and the gray clouds blended in with the melanchony sky seamlessly. It suited her mood almost as much as the vibrant red of her sweater. She was so angry that she just felt worn and wasted and wanted to sleep and just drop everything and fall into silence. So maybe she wasn't actually angry. Meiling didn't know because in the end, the truth was she just found anger easier than all those other emotions. She knew how to deal with anger, but she never had allowed herself to cry. "So what do I do now?" she asked the cloudless sky, "Do I go home and accept my fate like a good little girl, or should I..." ~*~ When Meiling was five, a songbird appeared outside her bedroom window. She didn't know what sort of songbird it was, but she would wake up every morning to listen to it's song threading in between the chilled air and sounds of tea boiling downstairs. She only would catch glimpses of it through the window, twittering from branch to branch and composing it's symphony as it travelled merrily. She mentioned it to her parents once before school. Just an offhand comment to explain why she had been up so early that morning. Her mother nodded and smiled as she served breakfast and her father nodded, noting the fact with minimal interest. Something flashed in his eyes, but Meiling thought nothing of it. That evening when she arrived home from her dojo, she froze at the entrance of her room. Sitting on her desk was a beautifully gilded caged encrusted with jewels and woven into the most grogeous design that she had ever seen on a birdcage. Within sat her songbird. She felt the shadow of her father behind her and turned to see him smiling down at her. "Do you like it, Meiling? Now you'll be able to hear the song every morning. I had one of the servants up in that tree for three hours trying to catch it. The cage is also an exclusive, an antique, you know." he knelt and pulled his daughter into a stiff hug, "Only the best for my little girl." he excused himself from the room and Meiling dragged herself across the room heavily. She sat on her bed and stared at the bird for nearly an hour just drinking in the sight of it's sad eyes, fixed on some point beyond the closed window that she couldn't see and probably didn't want to. Finally, she moved. She opened her window, then opened the door of the cage and stepped back. The bird did not move. She furrowed her brow and looked closer only to see that there was something missing in the small animal's eyes. Even if she forced the animal to take flight, it would never be truly free again. Meiling began to cry and without even fully thinking through her actions, reached into the cage and crushed the bird in one of her tiny, but strong fists. She held the dead bird for a long time, until she began to feel dirty, then threw it out the window slamming the pane shut as quickly as she could. The next morning, her mother asked her what had happened to the bird. Without taking her eyes from her breakfast, Meiling answered: "I set it free." "Why did you do that?" her mother wondered in shock. Meiling hesitated before answering in a soft voice, "Haven't you ever heard the saying: 'The caged bird does not sing'?" - fin
Well, then there's Syaoran who I adore unconditionally, but he's always there and Meiling's not. So, um, there.
Anyways, I was thinking about arranged marriages and chinese culture and this just kind of happened. And yes, I am writing this while I COULD be writing Cessation, but Meiling isn't in Chapter 13. She's in this. This fic is also a bit dark, but I would like to note that no real song birds (or real Meilings, for that matter) were harmed during the production of this story. I don't own CCS and neither do you. Isn't life grand? ==================================================================== The Caged Bird Does Not Sing
Izzy Girl The ideal chinese girl is brought up to be demure, polite, intelligent, respectful of men and handy in the kitchen. The fact that she never fit into that particular mold was never exactly a problem for Li Meiling since she'd been betrothed to her cousin for as long as she could remember. Syaoran was used to her general disregard for chinese tradition as well as her intimidating personality. Besides which, he could cook. That had all changed, however, less than three years earlier when Syaoran had broken the engagement upon falling for, of all things, a Japanese magician by the name of Sakura Kinomoto. Meiling was horrified at first, and angry, but eventually realized that it was all for the better since the idea of bearing Syaoran's children made her feel queasy. After all, they were almost like brother and sister. So, at fifteen years of age and finishing off her freshman year, Meiling had just been getting used to the idea of perhaps being chinese, female and unmarried. It was June when her mother first tapped lightly on her door, bearing ill news and a small, decorative box. "You did WHAT!?" Mistress Li folded her hands together and took a few steps back, "Meiling, dear, you have to understand that this is expected. When Xiao Lang broke the engagement we were not unprepared." Meiling was pacing, still dressed in her pajamas with her long, dark hair askew and sleep not yet rubbed out of her eyes, "Then why did you wait three years to tell me this!" "Ah..." Mistress Li shrugged slightly, "Your father and I were simply waiting for a... prudent moment to inform you." "It's seven thirty in the morning, mother. I have to go to school today and my final exams are in two weeks. Couldn't you have at least..." Mistress Li caught her daughter by the shoulder and forced the small box into Meiling's hands. The girl paused in her ranting and observed the box with intrest, "What's this?" "An offering from your fiancee." Meiling sat back on her bed and opened the box delicately. She removed the necklace and dangled it in front of her, admiring the way it's silver chain caught the early morning sunlight, "His name is Wun Ming," Mistress Li continued, sensing an ebb in the tide of Meiling's mood, "He's twenty one years old. A smart boy and a martial arts expert. He's studying to be a Doctor in Beijing and..." Meiling looked up in delayed shock, "Twenty one?" Mistress Li nodded, "Yes, is there a problem?" Meiling stood and dropped the necklace, eyes wide, "Twenty one!? Mother, he's six years older than me!" "Dear, there's nothing really extrodinary about that." "Yes. Yes there is! Syaoran wasn't even a year older than me..." Mistress Li bent down to collect the necklace between her frail fingers. She tsked and entwined it aroud her thumb and forefinger noticing that her daughter had bent the fragile metal in her strong grasp. She realized that her child was very different from her. Everything about her was coarse and strong, Meiling knew nothing of delicacy or patience, "Well, you aren't engaged to Xiao Lang any longer. Meiling, you can't be stuck on your cousin for the rest of your life." "I'm not stuck on Syaoran..." Mistress Li ignored this comment and spoke distractedly as she studied the necklace, "Your father and I agreed that it's most likely better for you to be married to an older man anyways. You need to be tamed." "Tamed?" Meiling repeated, "Did you just say that I need to be tamed?" the words sounded strange and hollow in her throat. Her parents thought that she needed to be tamed! "I wouldn't worry too much about it, dear." Mistress Li covered the short distance between her and her daughter, placing the necklace softly around Meiling's neck and patting the girl on the head in an awkward, motherly gesture, "Master Li will be expecting you for breakfast in half an hour. I would read the letter left on your bedside table before coming down. I would also suggest that you adjust your attitude before facing your father." ~*~ "Adjust your attitude before speaking to me." Meiling narrowed her dark eyes, but refused to nurse her burning cheek. She was only six years old, but knew with that definite Li Clan pride that she was right. Nothing her father said or did could change her mind. "You need to learn a few lessons in life, daughter, that will make things much easier for you." he turned his back and Meiling huffed, finally touching her red cheek with on, small hand, "First of all, never address your father in such a manner. You must always respect your parents. Second of all, and more importantly, never speak to any man with attitude in your voice. I am... accoustomed to your ways and I love you, but a husband may not be so lenient. You must always be on your best behavior with men." 'On your best behavior'. Meiling would have snorted at this comment, but was smart enough not to. She had earned her share of slaps for the night. Instead she allowed all her anger to build and boil up inside her until she was simmering just beneath the surface. 'On my best behavior? More like submission. I'll never allow a man to control me. Not my father, not Xiao Lang, not my husband. No one.' ~*~ "Tame me! Do you believe that, Xiao Lang? My mother suggested that I need a MAN to TAME me!" "Meiling..." "I couldn't believe it! Six years older than me- he's practically ancient!" "Meiling..." "I don't need a man in my life. I didn't need you and I don't need this Dr. Wun Ming or whatever the hell his name is... I ESPECIALLY don't need a man to control me!" "Meiling!" She stopped pacing and placed her hands on her hips, regarding her cousin with pleading eyes, "What do you think, Xiao Lang?" Syaoran sighed heavily and pointed towards the well-used arm chair she was standing in front of, "Sit, Meiling." Meiling tipped her head, "Was that an order, cousin dearest?" her mood changing from needy to dangerous within the span of three seconds. "No, it was a suggestion." Meiling rolled her eyes and fell back into the chair, "Well?" "I think that you're taking this entire matter too seriously." Meiling choked and shot up, straightening her back and tensing her muscles like a cat prepared to fight, "What the hell are you talking about!? This is the rest of my life that's on the line!" Syaoran shrugged, "Everyone knows arranged marriages are a joke in this day and age. All you're going to be doing is bearing his children and acting happy around your parents. No one said you had to love him. Hell, you could even divorce him if you didn't mind the risk of getting disowned." "That's not the point!" "What's he like?" "Uh..." Meiling relaxed and eased back in the chair slightly, "He's nice, I guess. In the letter he sent mother he seemed very polite and well spoken. He's going to be a doctor and... and he's into martial arts." "There." Syaoran smiled, "You have something in common at least." "That's STILL not the point!" Meiling retorted miserably, "He'll want to control me! He'll want me to be submissive and to rub his feet and to make dinner and... and I can't cook, Syaoran!" "So you think you'll have to compromise your personality." Syaoran said calmly, "You're afraid that by getting married you'll somehow become a weaker person." Meiling blinked a few times. Her shoulders fell and she released a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's it." Syaoran shook his head, "Meiling, have you ever met my mother?" "Of course I've met your mother, Xiao Lang." Meiling sighed in exasperation, "But she's of the Li clan. There's a difference there. She has... she has..." "She has the magic, right?" "Exactly! And I don't!" "It doesn't matter, Meiling, you're still a woman of the Li clan. Think about everything you've been through. Just because you don't have Clow's blood doesn't make you any less of a person." "I know that..." Syaoran leaned forwards and spoke softly, "Then what are you so afraid of?" ~*~ 'Afraid? That's ridiculous, I'm not afraid of anything!' Meiling's fist connected with the tree trunk. Once, twice, three times before she pulled it away and watched the blood roll down her fist, 'How could Syaoran even suggest that! I am Li Meiling. Even though I have no magic in my blood, I could still kick his ass. I defeated the Fight Card single handedly, or did he forget that!?' ~*~ "He's got six years in martial arts training over me..." "And that bothers you, why?" "Because it means I may not always win in a fight." "Meiling, it's a marriage, not a competition..." ~*~ "Everything's a competition." she growled, punching the tree one more time and ignoring the searing pain it sent through her entire hand, "Especially this." once more, and the bark cracked. She drew back and was surprised to see that her blood was smeared on the freshly exposed wood. She rubbed her fist gently and cringed inwardly at her own weakness. "Syaoran just doesn't understand." she mumbled to herself, stepping away from the tree, "He doesn't understand that it was different with him because I knew that I wes better. He had magic in his blood, but I was a better martial artist!" she felt the anger rise again and she kicked the tree viciously. The barked made a sick crunching noise and fell from where her foot had impacted with the trunk. "If I'm not better than my husband I'll just be another useless, chinese waif." she kicked the tree again in the same spot, but heard nothing except for a dull, lifeless thud. She closed one hand around the necklace her fiancee had given her, "Wedding gift, huh? More like a ball and chain." she tightened her fist around the jewelry and grumbled, "Why the hell am I still wearing this!?" she ripped it none too graciously from her neck and threw it as far as she could. It landed in a small duck pond without a sound. She watched after it for a few moments, realizing that she had probably just done something very foolish, then fell backwards into the long grass, closing her eyes. 'What are you so afraid of? 'Maybe I am afraid.' she admitted silently, 'Maybe I'm so afraid that it shakes me down to my very corse. Maybe I'm crying inside but I don't know it.' she opened her eyes and stared up at the sky. It was overcast and the gray clouds blended in with the melanchony sky seamlessly. It suited her mood almost as much as the vibrant red of her sweater. She was so angry that she just felt worn and wasted and wanted to sleep and just drop everything and fall into silence. So maybe she wasn't actually angry. Meiling didn't know because in the end, the truth was she just found anger easier than all those other emotions. She knew how to deal with anger, but she never had allowed herself to cry. "So what do I do now?" she asked the cloudless sky, "Do I go home and accept my fate like a good little girl, or should I..." ~*~ When Meiling was five, a songbird appeared outside her bedroom window. She didn't know what sort of songbird it was, but she would wake up every morning to listen to it's song threading in between the chilled air and sounds of tea boiling downstairs. She only would catch glimpses of it through the window, twittering from branch to branch and composing it's symphony as it travelled merrily. She mentioned it to her parents once before school. Just an offhand comment to explain why she had been up so early that morning. Her mother nodded and smiled as she served breakfast and her father nodded, noting the fact with minimal interest. Something flashed in his eyes, but Meiling thought nothing of it. That evening when she arrived home from her dojo, she froze at the entrance of her room. Sitting on her desk was a beautifully gilded caged encrusted with jewels and woven into the most grogeous design that she had ever seen on a birdcage. Within sat her songbird. She felt the shadow of her father behind her and turned to see him smiling down at her. "Do you like it, Meiling? Now you'll be able to hear the song every morning. I had one of the servants up in that tree for three hours trying to catch it. The cage is also an exclusive, an antique, you know." he knelt and pulled his daughter into a stiff hug, "Only the best for my little girl." he excused himself from the room and Meiling dragged herself across the room heavily. She sat on her bed and stared at the bird for nearly an hour just drinking in the sight of it's sad eyes, fixed on some point beyond the closed window that she couldn't see and probably didn't want to. Finally, she moved. She opened her window, then opened the door of the cage and stepped back. The bird did not move. She furrowed her brow and looked closer only to see that there was something missing in the small animal's eyes. Even if she forced the animal to take flight, it would never be truly free again. Meiling began to cry and without even fully thinking through her actions, reached into the cage and crushed the bird in one of her tiny, but strong fists. She held the dead bird for a long time, until she began to feel dirty, then threw it out the window slamming the pane shut as quickly as she could. The next morning, her mother asked her what had happened to the bird. Without taking her eyes from her breakfast, Meiling answered: "I set it free." "Why did you do that?" her mother wondered in shock. Meiling hesitated before answering in a soft voice, "Haven't you ever heard the saying: 'The caged bird does not sing'?" - fin