Two-bit didn't hesitate, he couldn't handle it; he broke into roaring laughs that started at the pit of his stomach and growled up through his chest and out his mouth in large hiccupping gasps. Darry blinked in surprise, wondering what in the world could be so funny. Pony leaned over and jabbed him once in the ribs. "Ouch." Two-bit managed between air inhalation.
Darry turned to Pony and upon examining him for that brief second he asked, "Glory Pony, are you sick? Your pink all over."
Pony's face turned redder, he could feel it burn deeper. And though he wanted to fight it he had to tell Darry the truth, "Yes." He barked the word so sharp Darry drew back.
"Well, what's'a matter?" Darry asked.
Before Pony could answer the three heard screaming tires, and instantly up on the curb was Dally's barely drivable and definitely not safe vehicle. Dally was instantly out of the car, past the Curtis gate, and standing in the yard aside Ponyboy, "Where'd ya go kid?" Then he jabbed a thumb at Two-bit, "What's so funny?"
Darry just sighed and shook his head, walking up the steps and into his house were he found Sodapop sitting on the couch casually watching TV. The three remaining greasers took that as a cue to enter and Pony was quite relieved to see Soda as he had hoped to find him earlier, as he was also thankful for Two-bit's lack of ability to speak due to the uncontrollable laughter. But Pony knew, if the scatterbrained hood remembered, Two-bit would spill it about Soda and Sandy; it was just a matter of when.
Darry froze in his tracks. "Wait a minute," he spun back to face the three younger males, "Didn't you pick Pony up from school Dal?"
Dally nodded, "Yeah Darry, why?"
"Because you asked Pony where he went?"
Dally just waved a hand, "It was nothin' Darry."
Darry looked to Pony wait for a confirmation, but upon looking at his brother Darry's face grew solemn. He grabbed Pony by the wrist and jerked him forward into the yellow glow of the overhead light, "What the hell happened to your face!?"
"I got in a fight," Pony answered.
"You what?" Darry demanded.
"Ah Darry knock it off. It's good for the kid, builds character," Dally said.
"I'd hope to think you didn't have anything to do with it Dallas," Darry said.
"Then you'd be thinkin' wrong," Dally smiled, almost as if proud, "Doesn't everything that goes down wrong in this town somehow involve me?"
Darry grumbled something to himself then pushed Pony across the living room toward the bathroom, "Clean up."
"Sandy's in there," Soda looked up, "Can't he use your bathroom?"
"Whatever," Darry growled, he had had a long week and wasn't in the mood for any mischief, back talking, or trouble, "just clean up. Dally it'd do you good to do the same; you look like hell."
"Thanks Darry," Dally smirked.
The two boys stood at the sink washing their bruises and cuts clean with a bar of soap. Pony touched his eye gingerly, as he confirmed sarcastically, "Real tuff."
Dally simply laughed bitterly, hoping Pony would grow into the concept of being proud of his 'war wounds'. The two loped back into the living room where they found Two-bit and Soda wrestling on the floor; where it came to light, by the snip it's of conversation they were having, that Two-bit had made a world record and lasted an entire seven minutes before letting the cat out of the bag about Soda and Sandy.
"I'll get you Two-bit," Soda hollered.
"Yeah, we'll just see about that ya trashy hood," Two-bit said cheerily pulling Soda back in a headlock.
Darry promptly entered the room and informed the bunch that dinner was ready and if anyone wanted anything they'd knock off the rough housing because Darry was getting a killer headache.
Slowly the crowd began to get spars, until finally the only one's left were the Curtis boys and a passed out Two-bit. Soda smiled to Pony giving him a slap on the shoulder, "I promised Two-bit I'd get him...here's my chance."
"What're you gonna do Soda?" Pony asked with wide eyes.
"Shhh-" Soda put a finger to his lips as he slipped off to the bathroom. Pony cocked an eyebrow, wondering what his brother could possibly be up to. When Soda returned with a bottle of shave cream and a straight blade Pony leapt up shaking his head.
"You can't be serious," Pony said staring at Sodapop questioningly. Pony knew the one thing Two-bit took pride in was those long sideburns, and Soda would really have some trouble if he shaved them. And as Pony watched Soda lather the cream up over a sleeping Two-bit's cheeks all Pony could come to think was... 'Soda was really going to have some trouble in the morning'.
The peaceful play of light streaming in through the window (hitting Ponyboy's closed eyes dead on) accompanied by the musical beeping of his alarm clock was savagely interrupted by Darry screaming "Get your lazy ass outta bed!" Callous bastard.
"Rudest awakening imaginable," Ponyboy muttered to himself, burying his head in his pillow as protection against another ear-splitting verbal assault.
"OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO!"
"Waitaminute...that's not Darry..." Ponyboy sprang from his bed with newfound energy and wrenched open the bedroom door. His eyes fell upon what proved his worst fears to be true. Or rather, Two-Bit's worst fears.
"I'LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR!" The distraught greaser yowled. He was gazing into a spoon, mournfully examining his shorn face. "I'LL TEAR HIM A NEW ONE!"
Ponyboy bit his lip, trying not to laugh. He'd seen it last night when Two-Bit had spontaneously fallen asleep on their floor, but the look was now all the more hilarious sported on the animated wise-cracker.
Darry was standing in the door, arms crossed, his face twisted in a look that plainly said: "Dear God, don't let me laugh." He caught Ponyboy's eye, and Ponyboy smiled back, inviting Darry to share the joke between them. His older brother dropped the amused look immediately, replacing it with his usual stern expression. "Food's in the kitchen getting cold," he said icily. "Would have been warm if you weren't so lazy." Ponyboy rolled his eyes.
"Fuck off, Darry, it's the first day of summer holiday, ya think you could pull the stick outta your arse for one freakin' day?" is what he wanted to say.
"Whatever," he mumbled instead.
"Where the hell is that dick-head?" Two-Bit growled, pushing past Ponyboy into the bedroom, and then shoving him again on exit, finding the room empty.
Sodapop chose this moment to conveniently make his entrance. He wandered in from outside and got as far as "What's up y'a-" before Two-Bit began to throttle him.
"STUPID ASS!" he yelled as the two wrestled. "NOW I GOTTA CHANGE MY WHOLE LOOK!"
"Ooh, your whole 'look'!" Soda teased, pulling free of Two-Bit's grasp. "Golly gee! Well, maybe you could dye your hair to match your nail polish ya silly poof. Or cut it to look like Elv - urgh," he spluttered as Two-Bit's hands once again found his throat.
"Cut it out," Darry said, waving an irritated hand at them, much in the manner of a man bothered by a couple of flies. "You're buggin' me."
Ponyboy seated himself, grabbing a couple pancakes and liberally pouring syrup over them. They weren't cold. Darry was exaggerating to further assert his family role as leader. The stupid prick.
He munched slowly, watching Two-Bit let go of Sodapop, his freedom bought in exchange for the use of his hair oil. They trudged to the bathroom bickering and occasionally punching each other.
Darry sat across from Ponyboy, watching his younger brother eat. Ponyboy gave him an apprehensive look then turned his attention to his food, shoveling it in as fast as he could. Darry smirked.
"Don't eat so fast, you'll get indigestion."
Ponyboy gave him a dirty look, and kept eating. Darry sighed inwardly. He could never get Ponyboy to do anything or ever listen to him. One little comment and he'd earned himself a hateful look. That thing about kids looking up to their older brother's was a complete myth in Darry's opinion.
"Hey, where's your report card?" he asked suddenly. If Ponyboy was going to hate him anyway, he may as well ask.
Ponyboy gave him another dirty look, as was expected, then trudged to the door where his backpack had been dropped. He fished out a slightly bent package, handed it to Darry and went back to eating.
Darry opened it and scanned it quickly through his machine-like brain. Math - A - good. Science - A- - reasonable. English...C?!
"What the hell happened with English?" Darry demanded.
Ponyboy shrugged. "Teacher didn't like me. It doesn't matter."
Darry put the report card down. "What do you mean, 'it doesn't matter'? Of course it matters! This is your future! You're just going to give it up like that?"
Ponyboy frowned. "It wasn't my fault. Teacher doesn't like me. Besides, it's just the 8th grade-"
"Don't you pull that one on me Ponyboy Curtis," Darry said, pointing a finger at his brother. "You get into bad habits now, and before you know it, you'll be failing the 12th grade."
Ponyboy rolled his eyes. "It's just one grade. Look I got an A in Math anyway-"
"Math I don't have a problem with. It's your ENGLISH mark that bugs me."
"So? It's MY mark! Who cares-"
"Are you even listening to me?" They were both shouting by now. Neither of them had noticed that Dallas had quietly slipped in and was watching the battle between the brothers.
"I told you, you have to get good grades now, or you'll get worse grades next year, and the year after-"
"Yeah, and then I'll fail the 12th grade. Look I'm doing fine! I'm skipping a grade for God's sake, I'm smart enough to pass!"
"You're in grade 12?!" Dally cut in at last. "When the hell did that happen?"
"He's not in grade 12, Dallas," Darry said flatly.
Ponyboy looked back at Darry, triumphant. "See? If I'm not in it how could I fail?"
"When you get into grade 12 then you'll fail."
"Can't you ever just leave well enough alone?" Ponyboy yelled. "Nothing's ever good enough for you. You always think I'll do bad. No wonder I got a 'C'!"
"Pony-" Darry said, but Ponyboy turned and fled back to his room, pushing past Two-Bit and Sodapop as they emerged and slamming the door so hard the house shook. Darry turned the other way, fuming, and pushed past Dally to the outside, this time slamming the door so hard the three remaining greasers had to fight to stay on their feet.
"What the heck happened here?" Two-Bit asked, scratching his greased head.
Dally took one look at Two-Bit and it took all his strength to keep from dropping to the floor and laughing till he died. The wisecracker's hair was smothered flat around his head to try and hide his vanished sideburns and it was greased so much it looked like plastic. He looked like a Ken doll.
Two-Bit looked Dally straight in the eye and sighed dejectedly. "I know. I look like a Beatle."
Darry turned to Pony and upon examining him for that brief second he asked, "Glory Pony, are you sick? Your pink all over."
Pony's face turned redder, he could feel it burn deeper. And though he wanted to fight it he had to tell Darry the truth, "Yes." He barked the word so sharp Darry drew back.
"Well, what's'a matter?" Darry asked.
Before Pony could answer the three heard screaming tires, and instantly up on the curb was Dally's barely drivable and definitely not safe vehicle. Dally was instantly out of the car, past the Curtis gate, and standing in the yard aside Ponyboy, "Where'd ya go kid?" Then he jabbed a thumb at Two-bit, "What's so funny?"
Darry just sighed and shook his head, walking up the steps and into his house were he found Sodapop sitting on the couch casually watching TV. The three remaining greasers took that as a cue to enter and Pony was quite relieved to see Soda as he had hoped to find him earlier, as he was also thankful for Two-bit's lack of ability to speak due to the uncontrollable laughter. But Pony knew, if the scatterbrained hood remembered, Two-bit would spill it about Soda and Sandy; it was just a matter of when.
Darry froze in his tracks. "Wait a minute," he spun back to face the three younger males, "Didn't you pick Pony up from school Dal?"
Dally nodded, "Yeah Darry, why?"
"Because you asked Pony where he went?"
Dally just waved a hand, "It was nothin' Darry."
Darry looked to Pony wait for a confirmation, but upon looking at his brother Darry's face grew solemn. He grabbed Pony by the wrist and jerked him forward into the yellow glow of the overhead light, "What the hell happened to your face!?"
"I got in a fight," Pony answered.
"You what?" Darry demanded.
"Ah Darry knock it off. It's good for the kid, builds character," Dally said.
"I'd hope to think you didn't have anything to do with it Dallas," Darry said.
"Then you'd be thinkin' wrong," Dally smiled, almost as if proud, "Doesn't everything that goes down wrong in this town somehow involve me?"
Darry grumbled something to himself then pushed Pony across the living room toward the bathroom, "Clean up."
"Sandy's in there," Soda looked up, "Can't he use your bathroom?"
"Whatever," Darry growled, he had had a long week and wasn't in the mood for any mischief, back talking, or trouble, "just clean up. Dally it'd do you good to do the same; you look like hell."
"Thanks Darry," Dally smirked.
The two boys stood at the sink washing their bruises and cuts clean with a bar of soap. Pony touched his eye gingerly, as he confirmed sarcastically, "Real tuff."
Dally simply laughed bitterly, hoping Pony would grow into the concept of being proud of his 'war wounds'. The two loped back into the living room where they found Two-bit and Soda wrestling on the floor; where it came to light, by the snip it's of conversation they were having, that Two-bit had made a world record and lasted an entire seven minutes before letting the cat out of the bag about Soda and Sandy.
"I'll get you Two-bit," Soda hollered.
"Yeah, we'll just see about that ya trashy hood," Two-bit said cheerily pulling Soda back in a headlock.
Darry promptly entered the room and informed the bunch that dinner was ready and if anyone wanted anything they'd knock off the rough housing because Darry was getting a killer headache.
Slowly the crowd began to get spars, until finally the only one's left were the Curtis boys and a passed out Two-bit. Soda smiled to Pony giving him a slap on the shoulder, "I promised Two-bit I'd get him...here's my chance."
"What're you gonna do Soda?" Pony asked with wide eyes.
"Shhh-" Soda put a finger to his lips as he slipped off to the bathroom. Pony cocked an eyebrow, wondering what his brother could possibly be up to. When Soda returned with a bottle of shave cream and a straight blade Pony leapt up shaking his head.
"You can't be serious," Pony said staring at Sodapop questioningly. Pony knew the one thing Two-bit took pride in was those long sideburns, and Soda would really have some trouble if he shaved them. And as Pony watched Soda lather the cream up over a sleeping Two-bit's cheeks all Pony could come to think was... 'Soda was really going to have some trouble in the morning'.
The peaceful play of light streaming in through the window (hitting Ponyboy's closed eyes dead on) accompanied by the musical beeping of his alarm clock was savagely interrupted by Darry screaming "Get your lazy ass outta bed!" Callous bastard.
"Rudest awakening imaginable," Ponyboy muttered to himself, burying his head in his pillow as protection against another ear-splitting verbal assault.
"OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO!"
"Waitaminute...that's not Darry..." Ponyboy sprang from his bed with newfound energy and wrenched open the bedroom door. His eyes fell upon what proved his worst fears to be true. Or rather, Two-Bit's worst fears.
"I'LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR!" The distraught greaser yowled. He was gazing into a spoon, mournfully examining his shorn face. "I'LL TEAR HIM A NEW ONE!"
Ponyboy bit his lip, trying not to laugh. He'd seen it last night when Two-Bit had spontaneously fallen asleep on their floor, but the look was now all the more hilarious sported on the animated wise-cracker.
Darry was standing in the door, arms crossed, his face twisted in a look that plainly said: "Dear God, don't let me laugh." He caught Ponyboy's eye, and Ponyboy smiled back, inviting Darry to share the joke between them. His older brother dropped the amused look immediately, replacing it with his usual stern expression. "Food's in the kitchen getting cold," he said icily. "Would have been warm if you weren't so lazy." Ponyboy rolled his eyes.
"Fuck off, Darry, it's the first day of summer holiday, ya think you could pull the stick outta your arse for one freakin' day?" is what he wanted to say.
"Whatever," he mumbled instead.
"Where the hell is that dick-head?" Two-Bit growled, pushing past Ponyboy into the bedroom, and then shoving him again on exit, finding the room empty.
Sodapop chose this moment to conveniently make his entrance. He wandered in from outside and got as far as "What's up y'a-" before Two-Bit began to throttle him.
"STUPID ASS!" he yelled as the two wrestled. "NOW I GOTTA CHANGE MY WHOLE LOOK!"
"Ooh, your whole 'look'!" Soda teased, pulling free of Two-Bit's grasp. "Golly gee! Well, maybe you could dye your hair to match your nail polish ya silly poof. Or cut it to look like Elv - urgh," he spluttered as Two-Bit's hands once again found his throat.
"Cut it out," Darry said, waving an irritated hand at them, much in the manner of a man bothered by a couple of flies. "You're buggin' me."
Ponyboy seated himself, grabbing a couple pancakes and liberally pouring syrup over them. They weren't cold. Darry was exaggerating to further assert his family role as leader. The stupid prick.
He munched slowly, watching Two-Bit let go of Sodapop, his freedom bought in exchange for the use of his hair oil. They trudged to the bathroom bickering and occasionally punching each other.
Darry sat across from Ponyboy, watching his younger brother eat. Ponyboy gave him an apprehensive look then turned his attention to his food, shoveling it in as fast as he could. Darry smirked.
"Don't eat so fast, you'll get indigestion."
Ponyboy gave him a dirty look, and kept eating. Darry sighed inwardly. He could never get Ponyboy to do anything or ever listen to him. One little comment and he'd earned himself a hateful look. That thing about kids looking up to their older brother's was a complete myth in Darry's opinion.
"Hey, where's your report card?" he asked suddenly. If Ponyboy was going to hate him anyway, he may as well ask.
Ponyboy gave him another dirty look, as was expected, then trudged to the door where his backpack had been dropped. He fished out a slightly bent package, handed it to Darry and went back to eating.
Darry opened it and scanned it quickly through his machine-like brain. Math - A - good. Science - A- - reasonable. English...C?!
"What the hell happened with English?" Darry demanded.
Ponyboy shrugged. "Teacher didn't like me. It doesn't matter."
Darry put the report card down. "What do you mean, 'it doesn't matter'? Of course it matters! This is your future! You're just going to give it up like that?"
Ponyboy frowned. "It wasn't my fault. Teacher doesn't like me. Besides, it's just the 8th grade-"
"Don't you pull that one on me Ponyboy Curtis," Darry said, pointing a finger at his brother. "You get into bad habits now, and before you know it, you'll be failing the 12th grade."
Ponyboy rolled his eyes. "It's just one grade. Look I got an A in Math anyway-"
"Math I don't have a problem with. It's your ENGLISH mark that bugs me."
"So? It's MY mark! Who cares-"
"Are you even listening to me?" They were both shouting by now. Neither of them had noticed that Dallas had quietly slipped in and was watching the battle between the brothers.
"I told you, you have to get good grades now, or you'll get worse grades next year, and the year after-"
"Yeah, and then I'll fail the 12th grade. Look I'm doing fine! I'm skipping a grade for God's sake, I'm smart enough to pass!"
"You're in grade 12?!" Dally cut in at last. "When the hell did that happen?"
"He's not in grade 12, Dallas," Darry said flatly.
Ponyboy looked back at Darry, triumphant. "See? If I'm not in it how could I fail?"
"When you get into grade 12 then you'll fail."
"Can't you ever just leave well enough alone?" Ponyboy yelled. "Nothing's ever good enough for you. You always think I'll do bad. No wonder I got a 'C'!"
"Pony-" Darry said, but Ponyboy turned and fled back to his room, pushing past Two-Bit and Sodapop as they emerged and slamming the door so hard the house shook. Darry turned the other way, fuming, and pushed past Dally to the outside, this time slamming the door so hard the three remaining greasers had to fight to stay on their feet.
"What the heck happened here?" Two-Bit asked, scratching his greased head.
Dally took one look at Two-Bit and it took all his strength to keep from dropping to the floor and laughing till he died. The wisecracker's hair was smothered flat around his head to try and hide his vanished sideburns and it was greased so much it looked like plastic. He looked like a Ken doll.
Two-Bit looked Dally straight in the eye and sighed dejectedly. "I know. I look like a Beatle."