In Innocence, Love
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Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own final fantasy 8. duh. but. I do own Seifer, he sleeps in my bed. while I... sleep... on the... couch. Ok, so Seifer owns me. just as good ^^!
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God we wandered through time compression for so long.
Slowly we found each other, our minds pushing back the fog of the timeless plain and grasping at wisps of memories, some recent, some we'd forgotten because of the GFs. Our memories held us together, lead us to one another, fused our group back together; all seven of us.
Seven, you ask? Think for a moment if you will; there are seven. One of us was lost to a false dream. See, now you understand. And yes, he was there too. At the opposite end of Squall's plain, the high and mighty dark knight was found, reduced to a whimpering mass of flesh with the understanding of a five-year-old. And who found him, you ask? Why, I did, his half-assed instructor.
Because I love him.
I didn't know it at the time, laughed at the idea in fact, but as I stumbled through the mist, the first memory I had was of him. It was when we'd first arrived at Garden. He'd smiled when he'd recognized me amongst the crowd and made his way over to me. At first I didn't realize who he was, though I knew he was familiar, but as soon as he spoke, I remembered the gruff blonde boy from my orphanage.
"Hey there, Quisty!" He'd actually sounded excited to see me. "I never thought I'd see you again, what with that adoption thing and all."
I'd greeted him and we caught up on what had been going on during the four years since I'd left the orphanage.
"Y'know, I missed you," he'd said in the most serious tone I believe I've ever heard from him. I think I must have blushed at that point because it was then that I got my first glimpse of the smirk that would haunt me to this very day.
So, because of that memory, I found the fallen knight, in horrible condition. His skin was clammy to the touch and tinted blue in the gray light. How long had he been lying here, dying? His head lolled back as I hefted his bulk into a sitting position and a breathy groan escaped his cracked lips.
"Make her leave me alone. Help me, Quisty."
"I'll help you."
Abruptly the clouds peeled back overhead and the dead ground erupted in blankets of color, petals dancing excitedly in the air. Directly in front of me, several meters off, were blue and black smudges of color mixed in the pinks, yellows, and purples stretching on over the horizon.
"Quisty!" A cheerful female voice called me from the right. Turning to the call, I spotted Selphie, Irvine and Zell crossing the flowered expanse toward me.
"I told ya we'd find her, darlin'," Irvine grinned, plopping his hat on top of Selphie's unique locks. She rewarded him with a beaming smile and zoomed across the field, stopping a few feet from me.
"It's- What's he doing- How- Why- Ah!" She tumbled backward in her hyper confusion, Irvine's hat falling in her lap. Unconsciously, she picked it up and nibbled on the brim as Zell and Irvine caught up.
"What the hell is he doing here?!" Zell yelled in disgust. "Didn't he die at Lunatic Pandora or something.?!" He looked about ready to pounce on the broken man.
"Calm down, Zell. I don't know what he's doing here, but I found him and I plan on taking him back to Garden with us," I told the group firmly. Besides a few grumbles, they didn't seem overly eager to disagree with me.
"If we ever find Garden, that is." Zell grumbled.
As if on cue, the flying fortress mounted the horizon in what appeared to be a direct course for us. Selphie cheered and jumped up, waving to our long time home. Home. Is that what Seifer will see when he wakes up inside those smooth, metallic walls? Glancing at him, my heart quickened. Will he wake up? No, he will, I know it.
And he did.
Two months later, my sleeping knight shook himself out of a coma and smiled at me with a love in his eyes so unconditional I nearly wept. And then he spoke.
"You didn't leave me. you didn't forget."
The syllables were formed slowly, carefully and so correctly in fact that it escaped me that he was unfamiliar with the language and not just woozy from his long slumber. But, after ten minutes of conversation with the blonde, I came to the realization that in his mind, Seifer had regressed. His thought processes were those of a child and his memories were only of the orphanage. And mostly of me. He remembered teasing Zell about crying, stealing Selphie's cookies, making fun of Irvine's accent and beating up on Squall, but he also remembered the exact day he and I had pooled our efforts to build the best sandcastle in the history of sandcastles. He remembered the time he and I had snuck out of bed to watch fireflies and how Matron had caught us because he was trying to catch one for me outside her window. And he remembered the night I revealed to him I was afraid of lightening when I snuggled down next to him in his bed. And he'd never told anyone. He'd kept it to himself, a precious secret.
What he didn't remember was how he and I had competed our first year at Garden and how I'd beaten him out in the field exam. And how I'd later become his instructor, adding insult to injury. And of course he didn't remember his experiences with Ultimecia. Ultimecia had broken down his mind, limited him to him childhood years and his blind ambition to become a knight, but in the end, wiped away any memory of herself from his mind in doing so.
In truth, I'm glad he can't remember the experiences that reduced him to nothing in time compression. I'm glad no one holds it against the ruined man that he destroyed so many because, in the end, he was destroyed as well. I know she controlled him. I saw it in his eyes at every battle, but I couldn't let that stop me from stopping him. So now, I take care of Seifer. He lives with me in my dorm, and it's the happiest I've ever seen him. I certainly couldn't abandon him, I love him. But you can't love a 5-year-old like you can love a man. And late at night, when I sob into my pillow, and he pokes his worried golden head in the door to ask me what's wrong, I can't tell him.
You can't explain to a 5-year-old that you're crying because of him,
because he's broken your heart.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own final fantasy 8. duh. but. I do own Seifer, he sleeps in my bed. while I... sleep... on the... couch. Ok, so Seifer owns me. just as good ^^!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
God we wandered through time compression for so long.
Slowly we found each other, our minds pushing back the fog of the timeless plain and grasping at wisps of memories, some recent, some we'd forgotten because of the GFs. Our memories held us together, lead us to one another, fused our group back together; all seven of us.
Seven, you ask? Think for a moment if you will; there are seven. One of us was lost to a false dream. See, now you understand. And yes, he was there too. At the opposite end of Squall's plain, the high and mighty dark knight was found, reduced to a whimpering mass of flesh with the understanding of a five-year-old. And who found him, you ask? Why, I did, his half-assed instructor.
Because I love him.
I didn't know it at the time, laughed at the idea in fact, but as I stumbled through the mist, the first memory I had was of him. It was when we'd first arrived at Garden. He'd smiled when he'd recognized me amongst the crowd and made his way over to me. At first I didn't realize who he was, though I knew he was familiar, but as soon as he spoke, I remembered the gruff blonde boy from my orphanage.
"Hey there, Quisty!" He'd actually sounded excited to see me. "I never thought I'd see you again, what with that adoption thing and all."
I'd greeted him and we caught up on what had been going on during the four years since I'd left the orphanage.
"Y'know, I missed you," he'd said in the most serious tone I believe I've ever heard from him. I think I must have blushed at that point because it was then that I got my first glimpse of the smirk that would haunt me to this very day.
So, because of that memory, I found the fallen knight, in horrible condition. His skin was clammy to the touch and tinted blue in the gray light. How long had he been lying here, dying? His head lolled back as I hefted his bulk into a sitting position and a breathy groan escaped his cracked lips.
"Make her leave me alone. Help me, Quisty."
"I'll help you."
Abruptly the clouds peeled back overhead and the dead ground erupted in blankets of color, petals dancing excitedly in the air. Directly in front of me, several meters off, were blue and black smudges of color mixed in the pinks, yellows, and purples stretching on over the horizon.
"Quisty!" A cheerful female voice called me from the right. Turning to the call, I spotted Selphie, Irvine and Zell crossing the flowered expanse toward me.
"I told ya we'd find her, darlin'," Irvine grinned, plopping his hat on top of Selphie's unique locks. She rewarded him with a beaming smile and zoomed across the field, stopping a few feet from me.
"It's- What's he doing- How- Why- Ah!" She tumbled backward in her hyper confusion, Irvine's hat falling in her lap. Unconsciously, she picked it up and nibbled on the brim as Zell and Irvine caught up.
"What the hell is he doing here?!" Zell yelled in disgust. "Didn't he die at Lunatic Pandora or something.?!" He looked about ready to pounce on the broken man.
"Calm down, Zell. I don't know what he's doing here, but I found him and I plan on taking him back to Garden with us," I told the group firmly. Besides a few grumbles, they didn't seem overly eager to disagree with me.
"If we ever find Garden, that is." Zell grumbled.
As if on cue, the flying fortress mounted the horizon in what appeared to be a direct course for us. Selphie cheered and jumped up, waving to our long time home. Home. Is that what Seifer will see when he wakes up inside those smooth, metallic walls? Glancing at him, my heart quickened. Will he wake up? No, he will, I know it.
And he did.
Two months later, my sleeping knight shook himself out of a coma and smiled at me with a love in his eyes so unconditional I nearly wept. And then he spoke.
"You didn't leave me. you didn't forget."
The syllables were formed slowly, carefully and so correctly in fact that it escaped me that he was unfamiliar with the language and not just woozy from his long slumber. But, after ten minutes of conversation with the blonde, I came to the realization that in his mind, Seifer had regressed. His thought processes were those of a child and his memories were only of the orphanage. And mostly of me. He remembered teasing Zell about crying, stealing Selphie's cookies, making fun of Irvine's accent and beating up on Squall, but he also remembered the exact day he and I had pooled our efforts to build the best sandcastle in the history of sandcastles. He remembered the time he and I had snuck out of bed to watch fireflies and how Matron had caught us because he was trying to catch one for me outside her window. And he remembered the night I revealed to him I was afraid of lightening when I snuggled down next to him in his bed. And he'd never told anyone. He'd kept it to himself, a precious secret.
What he didn't remember was how he and I had competed our first year at Garden and how I'd beaten him out in the field exam. And how I'd later become his instructor, adding insult to injury. And of course he didn't remember his experiences with Ultimecia. Ultimecia had broken down his mind, limited him to him childhood years and his blind ambition to become a knight, but in the end, wiped away any memory of herself from his mind in doing so.
In truth, I'm glad he can't remember the experiences that reduced him to nothing in time compression. I'm glad no one holds it against the ruined man that he destroyed so many because, in the end, he was destroyed as well. I know she controlled him. I saw it in his eyes at every battle, but I couldn't let that stop me from stopping him. So now, I take care of Seifer. He lives with me in my dorm, and it's the happiest I've ever seen him. I certainly couldn't abandon him, I love him. But you can't love a 5-year-old like you can love a man. And late at night, when I sob into my pillow, and he pokes his worried golden head in the door to ask me what's wrong, I can't tell him.
You can't explain to a 5-year-old that you're crying because of him,
because he's broken your heart.