Warning: This fic is rated R for mature situations, violence, and general unpleasantness. Some of the situations may disturb some readers. This is not light fluff. You have been warned.
Note: This fic was written before the release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. So, there may be differences between this and new canon.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter character and places belong to J. K. Rowling and other related companies. The story and characters not in the books or movies belong to me. Please do not use without my permission. If you wish to use any of my material, please ask. Please enjoy.
Dedicated to my nephew, Brian Elliot, who was born Sunday September 29th, 2002, around 1:20am.
Life Had Just Begun
By Terra
Chapter One: Surprises
I hate waiting.
I never did like waiting at all, really. But to add to my torment, they make a room specially designed for the waiting period. Waiting itself is bad enough but waiting for the doctor to come out and tell you whether your wife is okay or not is the worst. Here I was, waiting.
There was a woman across from me. She looked middle-aged, with gray streaks in her copper hair. Copper hair, my wife has copper hair. Will she get gray streaks like that too? But 50 seemed so far away. Life had just begun. What was I doing with Life? Sitting in a waiting room trying to read the Quidditch scores. My team lost. Just great.
I started to whistle but then the lady gave me a look so I stopped. "I want to go home," I thought, "Either she's healthy or she's not. I've read every magazine in the place."
The door opened. The world stopped rotating. The sun went dim. Hell had frozen over. The doctor invited inside. My heart was pounding as I followed her inside. I could already hear the doctor's grim notification, "Sorry to say this Mr. Potter but Lily is dying from Xeleoadpfjapdia. It's incurable and she only has ten seconds to live. Oops, overestimated, sorry."
I looked at Lily's face, trying to memorize it. My fears dissolved. When Lily is excited, she flaps her hands in the air near her chest and dances in her seat. She was waving and dancing like there was no afternoon.
"Mr. Potter, I am pleased to inform you that Lily is pregnant. Congratulations," the doctor said as she smiled. I squealed like a little girl and Lily joined me. The doctor most likely gave us instructions but we were too busy dancing around the room to really listen. After five minutes, the doctor managed to flag us down and give us instructions in writing about changes that needed to be made in Lily's diet.
"Owl post me anytime you need to," the doctor added as she led us out the door, "Take good care of yourself, Lily, and don't forget to come back for prenatal care."
The afternoon sun was turning a bright sun as it began to set. A chill was beginning to set in and Lily wrapped her coat around her tighter. Outside the doctor's office, we just stood there and smiled at each other.
"Let's go celebrate, James," Lily suggested.
"What should we do?"
Lily twirled around and sighed, "Oh, something special."
"Special?"
"Special."
"Um... that Muggle thing."
Lily snorted, "'That Muggle thing'? Which one, James?"
"You know, that thing. It's a screen with pictures that move are shown on it. You sit in the seats and eat popcorn and stuff. That thing."
"You mean a film?"
"Yeah... I think."
"Nah, not a film. Window shopping?"
"Lily..."
"Just a suggestion, James."
"How about a restaurant?"
"A really nice one."
"How about a Muggle one? We never go to Muggle restaurants."
"We need Muggle money."
"We'll go to Gringott's and exchange some." Lily nodded in agreement, then added, "But we'll have to walk. You know what Doctor Vita told us. No more Apparition for me for eight months."
"No more Floo Powder either," I sighed.
"I know it's inconvenient but we have to do what's best for the baby right now."
I shook my head and corrected, "I know that. I like walking."
"There's always public transportation."
I shuddered. Lily laughed and began walking forward towards London. It was a twenty-minute walk to Gringott's and we exchanged our money there.
"We need Muggle clothes," Lily said as we walked out of the Wizarding bank.
"Why?" I asked. The Muggle world often confused me. I had just gotten the hang of the telephone a year before.
"Because we're going to a Muggle restaurant. We need Muggle clothes."
"Alright. Let's go to your sister's house..." I joked.
"NO!" Lily screamed as she slapped me across the cheek. I yelped and rubbed my sore left cheek. I sniffled and moaned, "I was kidding, Lily. Geez, like I'd willingly go to that dreaded house."
"It's not funny! How dare you suggest such a thing, even as a joke," Lily hissed. Lily and her sister, Petunia, had never liked each other. They were on completely different wavelengths. Most of the time, we pretended Lily's sister didn't exist. We were under the impression that Petunia and her fat-ass husband, Vernon, did likewise.
*** ***
The first time I had met Petunia and Vernon was the summer of my fifth year. Lily and I had been dating for the last month of fifth year and I had become interested in her home life. What were real-life Muggles like? Did their houses look different? Did the food taste different? My father suggested that I go to visit Lily for a while to answer such questions and gain the respect of Mister Evans. So, after royally screwing up in the telephone department (held it upside down. It was an honest mistake!), I arranged to stay with the Evans for two weeks in July. When I arrived at the Evans' house, Petunia answered the door. Before I could open my mouth, she slammed the door in my face. Thinking I had mistaken the address, I re-read the slip of paper I had written it on. Same address. I knocked again; perhaps the owners of the house could redirect me. This time, Mister Evans answered. I politely asked if they knew where the Evans lived. He informed me that the house I was standing in front of was the residence of the Evans.
"Oh, sorry. Perhaps there are TWO Evanses in England. Do you know where Lily Evans' family lives?"
At that moment, Lily came running down the steps, screaming, "I'm here! I live here! I'm coming!" She appeared behind her father, pushed him out of the way and grabbed my bags, giving me that wonderful Lily Evans smile that made me want to jump off buildings to prove my devotion.
The first week was awful because of Petunia. Lily's parents adored me but Petunia hated the very sight of me. The feeling was mutual. The biggest problem in the Evans house was that Mrs. Evans was in denial about her daughters hating each other. She thought it was just a phase... that had lasted nearly sixteen years. She firmly believed that they would "grow out of it". Anyway, the Friday of the first week, Mrs. Evans told us that she had bought four tickets to the cricket game that Saturday.
"This will be an excellent chance for Vernon and James to meet each other!" For the next three hours, Lily and Petunia pleaded with their mother to return the tickets. But, the decision was final.
That morning, I had my first horrible look at Vernon Dursley. He was a beefy, red-faced boy that towered over me. Petunia looked even skinnier and more insect-like when she hugged him. To make the situation even worst, they talked baby-talk with each other in public. I was ready to throw up. Before we left on the trip, Petunia and Lily had begged me to promise to say I was from the countryside and had never been in the city before. Vernon bought it but thought I was an absolute imbecile for not knowing the rules of cricket.
I didn't pay attention to the game. I couldn't understand a game where everyone stayed on the ground. Half-way through the game, I realized I would soon go nuts if I didn't have some sort of other activity.
"Let's go the concession stand, Lily," I suggested to my bored-looking girlfriend.
"I'm not hungry."
"Come anyway," I replied then whispered, "Unless you like sitting here with your sister and her boyfriend." Lily bolted out of her seat and we left the stands. Instead of heading towards the concession stand, I turned towards the girls' toilet.
"Um... James, this is the girls' toilet," Lily said, meekly.
"So it is. Let's go in," I ordered as I pushed open the door.
"What are you doing?" Lily whispered, trying to close the door. I walked in anyway. There were five stalls and one handicapped stall. Lily nearly knocked me over as she ran in after me. Lily glared at me with the same look she used to use when my other friends and I suggested starting some trouble. She huffed and demanded, "Tell me why we're in the girls' toilet."
"Because I want to snog you."
"WHAT?"
"You know, kiss you. Maybe a little more, like some petting. I'm not picky."
Lily's jaw just dropped. She tried to form words but nothing came out. Composing herself finally, she asked, "Why?!"
"Because you're pretty."
"I know that! Why here?"
"Oh, would you rather do it in the boys' toilet?" I suggested slyly. Teasing Lily was so much fun.
"No, I would not! This is crazy! What if someone comes in while we're getting it on?"
"I didn't mean out here. I meant in the stalls," I corrected.
"That's no different!"
"Yes, it is. We'll lock the door. Watch," I instructed as I guided her into an empty stall and locked it behind me.
Lily let out a little whine, her defenses were breaking down. Just a little shove in the right direction and I'd have a few minutes in heaven with the prettiest Gryffindor in Hogwarts. I unbuttoned the top three buttons of my polo shirt and gave her a little kiss on the forehead.
An hour later, we emerged from the stall, giggling like maniacs. Lily's hair was tossed in all directions and I had lipstick all over me. It took ten minutes to fix ourselves up so Petunia wouldn't blab. When we left the girls' toilet, we were still giggling and seriously considering just going back in. Lily, the voice of reason, suggested we go back but get some food first to keep up the lie about going to the concession stand. When we returned to our seats, Petunia and Vernon were missing but we didn't care. Ten minutes later, Petunia and Vernon returned. I don't know if Lily noticed it but Vernon had a very clear streak of lipstick on his neck. My day was complete.
*** ***
After taking that trip down Memory Lane, I looked at Lily's angry face.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring her up."
Lily looked up at me, "I'm sorry I slapped you. That was uncalled for."
"It's okay. Hormones and stuff."
"I'm still sorry."
I decided to change the subject. "How about that black dress tonight?"
"I don't think that fits anymore," Lily replied.
"I bet it does. We'll see when we get home," I answered.
After we returned home, Lily went through our collection of Muggle clothes and selected our attire. Lily chose the back-less green dress for herself and tuxedo for me. After that, we went through the listing of Muggle restaurants in the area and decided on the classy, "Hat".
Muggle restaurants are quieter than Wizard restaurants. The waiters don't magically appear when you're ready to order and tapping the name of a dish did not produce an image in front of you. We wanted quiet that night.
Our waitress was a small girl, most likely in Muggle university, with short blonde hair. She had a very smooth voice but very quiet. We ordered tea for both of us and she toddled away. We sat in blissful silence, lost in our own thoughts. Lily suddenly said, "A."
"A?"
"Names. Think of names starting with A."
"Aaron," I suggested.
"Aaron Potter... that could work."
"Amy?"
"Yuck."
"Abigail?"
"Old-fashioned."
"Andrew?"
"Andrew... no. I don't like that name."
"Aleck."
"Aleck Potter?"
"That sounds dumb," I sighed, "Potter is an awful name."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is. It's so boring. You can't have a interesting name with Potter because it sounds strange."
"I think Potter is a fine name, James."
"Lily Potter is the only combination that sounds nice."
"Thank you, James. James Potter sounds fine, too," Lily said.
"No, Lily Potter is sort of funny. Lilies are flowers and they grow in pots, get it?"
"Never mind. Let's start on B," Lily suggested, rolling her eyes.
"I thought it was cute."
"B, James."
"Bertha."
"Are you crazy? Yuck."
"I have a great-aunt named Bertha."
"And how old is she, James? A hundred?"
"96, for your information."
"I'm not naming our child 'Bertha'."
"Benjamin?"
"That's nice."
"Bella."
"Bella Potter. Sounds weird."
"Told you that you can't have cool names with Potter."
Over the course of dinner, we went through the alphabet to search for the perfect name. None came to us.
Sunday was a wet day. We lagged about, thinking of the child-to-be. Every time Lily passed a mirror, she examined her reflection to see if she was showing. She wasn't. I looked over our spare rooms to see what would be an ideal place for our baby to sleep. It seemed to be a very lazy day.
"Owl post, James," Lily called as I measured the room closest to ours near dinner.
"I'm nearly done," I called back. I took the last of my measurements and headed downstairs.
"It's from your mother," Lily said quietly.
"Tell her I'm well."
"Don't you want to read it?"
"Tell her I'm well."
I was not on the best of terms with my parents. I didn't hate them like Lily hated Petunia but I severely disliked them. They weren't mean or bossy to me. I always got what I wanted when I was little. I was spoiled like any other child of a rich family. My parents were simply disappointing. I felt that my father always did what he was supposed to, nothing more or less. He seemed to have never fought for what he believed in or challenged anything. I considered him a sad, pathetic man with no imagination. He did exactly what was expected of him and expected me to act in the same way. The last time we had spoken face to face was at our wedding reception. My father asked me the usual stuff, like had we bought a house and where we were going for our honeymoon. But the question that ticked me off was, "So, when will I see you in my office?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well, obviously you're taking up the family business."
My family made Quidditch supplies. Broomsticks, the balls, the container that held the balls, everything. My family had run the business for three generations. I detested it. I hated everything about that factory, that office. I did not want to "follow in my father's footsteps"; I didn't want to do what was expected of me. I was my own person. I firmly told my father that I already had a job, at the Ministry. My father couldn't comprehend this. A simple discussion turned into a row between us.
He just disgusted me. I thought he never had an independent thought in his head. My mother was the exact same way, in my opinion, like my parents had been made in a factory as well. They never questioned anything except me because I did question them. I questioned the world. I just couldn't live like my father and mother.
"You really should answer the letter yourself," Lily said, jolting me out of my thoughts.
"Tell her I'm well."
"It's important, James. You should read this one."
"Has someone died?"
"Not really."
"Then it's not important."
Lily frowned at me. She sighed and began to read the letter aloud, "'Dear James, I hope you are well. I'm just writing to inform you that your father has gone missing. I don't want you to panic but just thought you should be informed. If you see him, please contact me. We are all very worried about him. Love, Mother.'" Lily looked at me for my response.
"Missing? Since when?" I asked. Sure, I disliked my father but I didn't want any harm done to him.
"She doesn't say. Maybe you should ask," Lily suggested. She went through the rest of the mail without a word. I felt guilt gnawing at my stomach. How long had it been since I had written to my mother? Six years? I got a piece of paper and a quill out to write to my mother. Lily smiled at me.
I was at a loss about what to say to my mother. I tapped the quill in the inkwell until Lily said, "How about 'Dear Mother'?"
I wrote down "Dear Mother". I paused then turned to Lily, "What now?"
"Say what you're thinking."
"All I'm thinking about is whether my father is okay."
"Then tell her so. She'll be happy just to receive a sentence from you."
I wrote down my concern for my father's safety and told her I hoped she was alright. To cheer her up, I added that Lily was pregnant. I signed the letter and sealed it up, laying in the bin marked, "Going out."
Before I could ask Lily what we were going to have for dinner, a small orange ball of fur jumped into my lap.
"Get off me, Crookshanks," I ordered the evil kitten. A month before, Lily decided she wanted a pet so off she went to the Magical Menagerie on Diagon Alley. That night, to my horror, she brought home the kitten from Hell. Lily named him Crookshanks and loved him to bits. Crookshanks was no ordinary kitten since it apparently was cross-breed of a regular cat and a Kneazle, so it was infused with magical abilities, comprehension of human speech, and longer life span, Crookshanks made my dreary life a nightmare. Lily, however, simply adored him so I had to deal with my kitty rival.
"How's my baby?" Lily cooed as she picked him off my lap, "Are you hungry, Crookshanks? Yes, you are!" Lily filled Crookshanks' food dish with cat food, cooing over and over.
"I'm hungry, too, if anyone cares," I told her.
"You can make food, too, you know," Lily replied, not looking up from Crookshanks.
"I believe you love that cat more than me."
"Crookshanks is a better kisser, aren't you, Crookshanks?"
"I refuse to compare myself to a cat."
"Good thing. It's insulting to Crookshanks if you do."
Grumbling, I got up to make my dinner. Lily ignored me for Crookshanks. I managed to make a satisfying dinner that wasn't poisonous. We spent the rest of the evening talking about nothing in particular and agreed that we would announce Lily's pregnancy the following morning at the Ministry.
I went to bed thinking my life was simply perfect. I had no idea how bad life would become in the following months.
To be continued...
Author's Notes: I was amused by the theory that Crookshanks was originally the Potters' cat so I added it in. By the way, "snog" and "petting" are old-fashioned words from the Seventies. Since they probably dated in the Seventies, they would have used these words. I know this because my youngest brother was born in 1981 and my parents dated in the Seventies and used these words in Ireland (Britain used similar slang). There's my little history lesson! Hope you come back!