Disclaimer: All people and places belong to J. K. Rowling.

Life Had Just Begun

By Terra

Chapter Ten: An Offer That Can't Be Refused

January had shifted over into February and seemed like the winter would never end. Lily was beginning to pass into her second trimester, which everyone from the doctor to my co-workers assured us was the easiest part of the pregnancy. The waters of time seemed to be still but it was not long before the noise of monsoons could be heard.

It was late, very late at night during the first week of February. I was sleeping when I awoke with a start. I had not been dreaming. I didn't need to use the restroom. I didn't have a knife plunged into my chest. I listened for what had woken me.

Bang. There it was. Bang. And again, that noise. It was coming from downstairs, probably the kitchen. Putting on my glasses, I rose from the bed and grabbed my wand. I descended the stairs to investigate and eliminate this issue.

Yawning, I crept towards the kitchen and found Sirius in his pajamas, holding a Quidditch bat, poised in a battle stance. Before I could ask what in the world did he think was doing, he cried, "Duck!" and a small, hard thing hit the side of my head. Reeling from the blow, I crashed into the wall, dazed. The blur of grey shot at Sirius who struck it with the bat. It flew off at an angle, bouncing off the kitchen walls.

"What is that?" I demanded.

"A bullet owl," Sirius responded with distaste.

I had heard of bullet owls but had never seen or been hit by one before. Bullet owls are small, about the size of two cupped hands. They look like the cross between a Golden Snidget and a regular post-owl. They are completely grey or black. These have horrible temperaments and particularly vicious. They survive in the most terrible conditions imaginable, living among dementors or Basilisk dens. Most famously, however, is that the followers of Lord Voldemort usually send these owls to deliver recruitment messages to those they wish to include.

"Is it... does it... ?" I couldn't bring myself to suggest such a notion to Sirius.

"Yes, it has a message for me. No, I didn't open it because I already knew what it said. I figure that if I kill it, it won't return with the letter unopened. They'll think it just died in transit."

"Bullet owls are nearly impossible to kill."

"You think?" Sirius asked sarcastically, "I've only been trying to whack its brain out for the past hour! It won't die!"

I ran for the other bat in the kit at top speed. Once retrieved, I jumped downstairs just as the owl flew at me. I smacked it with all my might, launching back into the kitchen. Sirius slammed the bat against the owl, propelling it towards the wall again. We were then engaged in a bizarre Beater practice, shooting the owl back and forth to each other. The owl screeched its vulture-like call with each blow. After awhile, it started to try to attack us rather than deliver its message, which was still attached to its claws.

It fluttered and screeched around downstairs, trying to escape. We continued to smack it with the bats with more vigor. Finally, to our dismay, it flew up the chimney and flew out of the house.

Sirius fell to his knees. "Damn it!" he screamed. I hushed him, Lily was still asleep. He ignored me, stating, "It's the third attempt."

"The third attempt?"

"I refused every time. They'll punish me now, won't they?"

I didn't reply. It was common knowledge that the Death Eaters would try three times to recruit someone. After the third refusal, they seem to vanish and leave the person alone. What they actually do is wait six months for the person to change their mind. If they don't, they randomly select a person close to one who refused, it can be a parent, a lover, or a best friend, and the loved one pays the consequences.

It was my father who ended up paying the bill for me.

*** ***

Being pure-blood, it would seem obvious that I would join up. I had power, I had a respectable lineage, why wouldn't I? That's what they thought, the Death Eaters. They didn't realize that I didn't support this horror. It was wrong and no argument could justify it for me. I have my guesses on who of my former playmates turned to Lord Voldemort's service but I won't waste the ink.

It began with the dreams. The nightly taunts and temptations. I had a sort of advisor who led me through the terror. At first, he was very nice and sweet about it. He showed me my library, crammed with every book I had every read in my lifetime.

"You're very clever, Mr. Potter, you know that?"

"I suppose so."

"Head Boy and everything," he would say with astonishment, "how many can claim that prize? Not many," he added, shaking his head, "not many, my friend."

He led me farther down the path in this weird dream world. He showed me a large pile of gold and silver, my Gringotts account. Before my eyes, coins rained heavily down on the already massive pile. "Mr. Potter, what wealth you possess! You could buy and sell the world five times at least. That's not even including your inheritance when your father finally dies."

"I never thought of it like that."

"The Potters are one of the richest families if not the richest family!"

He led me farther along as my defenses weakened. He showed me Lily, in a smooth, sexy dress, giving me a "come-hither" look as she lay on a satin bed.

"My, what a fine taste in women you have! Look at that perfectly portioned frame. Those legs, those arms, that shimmering hair, those emerald eyes. Forget Helen of Troy, this is the face that would sail a thousand ships! Men would build her palaces to spend a day with her, you know that! She is yours..."

Aroused by the sight before me since Lily didn't exactly have that look everyday, I merely nodded in response. My guide added sharply, "But for how long?"

"Forever, of course!" I replied.

He laughed. "Don't be so naive, Mr. Potter! Look at her, doesn't she deserve the best man available? Oh, yes, you have wisdom and wealth but for a woman such as she, that is not enough! You must be knock out all competition, leave no doubt in her mind that you are her only equal, no one else!"

"How?"

"You must have power, my friend. Power and influence to make your wife a queen. With power, she will declare, 'That is my husband' and she will be forever yours. Join my master. He will grant you the power you seek."

For a second, I was sucked in. I nearly agreed but I came to my senses. All of this was illusion, all his words were false. I refused to join.

The dreams changed their tune. My guide reminded me of my former days as the tormented little runt.

"Never truly got away from that, did you, Mr. Potter?" he remarked scathingly. "Pathetic."

He would continue, bringing up images of my friends. "They pity you, you know. Sad, sad little James who can't make any friends on his own. They certainly don't like you at the very least. Always the wet towel, always having to have Sirius to bail you out of trouble. How disgusting you are to them. Utterly unbearable."

My heart seemed to bleed when he conjured up Lily. She was no longer sexy and inviting but she seemed to shrug away with disgust. "Let's not even pretend with your 'wife'. This whole charade with her is completely one-sided. She does not love you. She loves your money. But," he added with a sick smile, "she is growing bored with you. Bored out of her skull. You better not be surprised because, after all, you were always the one no one liked. Why should this be different? Revolting how you continue to love her so."

"She does love me," I argued, half-heartedly. "I know she does."

He laughed. "How pathetic can you be, Mr. Potter? She certainly hasn't been faithful to you, that's for sure." My heart stopped cold and couldn't breathe. He laughed harder. "The husband is always the last to know, isn't that the saying? But, I must ask, don't you agree that Remus and Lily make a cute couple?"

"Shut up!" I cried through my tears.

"Well, I certainly do. Although, in a pinch, Sirius and Lily wouldn't be a bad match." He paused, apparently deep in thought. Slowly, he commented, "But Peter and Lily isn't half bad. I see the merits, don't you?" I merely moaned in reply. "Oh, don't think she hasn't tried them all. Several times each, I must say. Along with a few others you don't even know about. But, I still think Remus and Lily is the best pair. Care to argue otherwise?"

"Shut up! Leave me alone!"

"Mr. Potter, this is the sort of behavior I'm talking about. Lily isn't gone forever."

"I love her," I sadly said.

"I know you do. Believe me, I know you do. But what can you do about this? Lily is clearly not interested but she can't leave you, can she? Still needs the money, doesn't she?"

"I don't care," I mumbled.

"Ah, but you do care, I completely sympathize," he said softly. "You want Lily back. Actually, you just plain want Lily since you didn't have her before. But how to tempt her to you? Money and knowledge wasn't the way to go and you certainly aren't the most desirable man alive, so that's out. What's left? What could Lily possibly desire that you can feasibly grant?"

"I don't know. I'm useless," I admitted.

"Now, now, Mr. Potter. There is something. Power. Lily desires a man with limitless power and influence. You are still that little runt from childhood, how pathetic. It's time to stand up and show her what a man you are. Show her that infidelity to you should be inconceivable. With power at your disposal, she'll come running to be at your side. Not only will you have Lily, you will have respect and authority. You will rise through society and show up your tormentors. No one will ever dare mock or demean you again. Join my master. Join and all your dreams will come true. Or would you rather be a pathetic little child for the rest of your days."

My heart broken and my self-esteem shattered, I managed somehow to retain a grip on my morals. "I may not have Lily's heart but I still have one to give her. No, I will not join your master."

These dreams had a significant psychological impact on me. The dreams lasted for months at a time before finally asking me to join those two times I have shown you. This is their purpose, of course. Without realizing it, I turned a cold shoulder to Lily for her supposed betrayal. Also, I began to suspect my friends and my co-workers of ulterior motives. Once the dreams stopped, I began to regain my senses. Once I did, I realized that Lily was crushed at my harshness with her for the past few months. I never told Lily about the Death Eaters trying to recruit me in my sleep, I merely made a lame excuse that I kept having dreams about Lily cheating on me and I had started to confuse dreams with actual events.

In early May, I had forgotten to renew my Apparation license so I had to walk home before I had a free day to actually go about renewing it. It had been a month since I had refused a second time and my senses and feelings were now under my control. I was walking along the secluded pathways when I sensed someone behind me. I turned around to face a man in a black hooded robe, the hood obscuring his face.

"Who are you?" I demanded, my hand going towards my wand. "What do you want?"

"Who I am is not important," he answered cryptically, "and I merely wish to speak to you, James Potter." His voice was weird and distorted. Obviously, he had placed a scrambling charm on his voice so I wouldn't be able to identify him.

"I do not wish to speak to you," I replied sharply.

"It would be wise to hear what I have to say. I do not yet wish you harm but if you refuse to stay and listen, I will be forced to become violent."

"I do not want to hear what you have to say. Do your worst to me, I don't care," I pronounced bravely.

"I will not harm you. Your wife, however, is another matter."

"What do you mean?"

"My fellow Death Eaters are stationed near your house. If you do not speak to me, I will order them to torture your Mudblood wife."

"You're bluffing."

"Perhaps I am. But suppose I'm not. How fast could you get there on foot? Are you willing to gamble your wife for a few moments' peace?"

Mentally kicking myself for the fiftieth time for not renewing my license, I answered, "Talk quickly."

"Very well, I do not wish to detain you more than I have to. You have refused to serve in Lord Voldemort's service two times before, do you deny that?"

"No, and I won't join this time either."

"Well, consider this. Our main targets are Muggles and Mudbloods. Your wife is a Mudblood of the worst kind, marrying a pureblood such as yourself."

"That doesn't matter to me!"

"You speak too quickly, James Potter. You should hear what I have to say. We are willing to make an exception in some cases. Your wife is a promising and powerful witch, regardless of her roots. It would be a benefit to have her live a long life."

"What's your point?"

"If you join us, there will be no reason for your wife to die. She and your children will live undisturbed for the rest of their days. Refuse our charity," he snapped, "and all of you will die and know misery before your final hour."

"So, my choices are sell my soul or die, is that it?"

"Precisely. The choice is yours. You can not truly condemn your own family, can you?"

"If I spare them and myself," I replied harshly, "the cost is unforgivable. No, I refuse your master and will continue to refuse your master."

The hooded man said nothing, just shook his head slowly. Finally, he said, "You are a fool, James Potter. I will keep my promise. My men will not attack your wife today. We will depart for now. You have six months to reconsider your choices. I would advise you to think again. Farewell, James Potter." He Apparated and I continued home. Lily had seen no one suspicious that day.

May, June, July, August, September, and finally October. Six months passed and I heard and saw nothing unusual. I felt safe. That's always the way they operated. They chose completely at random, my father would have been the last person I would have thought of to truly hurt me. But it did.

Yes, they are very good at what they do.

*** ***

"Do you..." Sirius asked softly, "think anyone else... has this problem?"

"Like who?"

"Well, did they ask you for instance?"

"Yeah."

"Dreams and all that?"

"Yeah."

"Hate those things. I thought you stole something of mine for weeks. Finally found it under my bed," Sirius added with a slight smile.

"I thought Lily was having an affair with all of you," I remarked lightly.

"With me?"

"Remus, you, Peter. And some strangers my mind invented to spice things up."

Sirius chuckled. "Sorry, I'm having a hard time imagining Peter and Lily sneaking off together. Nothing against Peter or anything, it's just weird."

"What about Remus?"

"That would be like a brother and sister dating, okay? It's practically incest."

"And you?"

"We'd kill each other in under ten minutes," Sirius laughed. "I mean, we're great friends and everything but we drive each other up the wall. Besides, I don't see her that way. It would be like dating a female you or Remus. It would be too weird."

"But say I just dropped dead one day, what would you do?" I asked hypothetically.

"Bury you." I laughed as he added, "I mean, come on, I can't just leave your body to rot on the carpet!"

"That isn't what I meant."

"Would I date her? No way. Remus..." he said, tilting his head to one side, "I can sort of see him going for Lily. And that's a big sort of. If every woman and every man but them was dead, I could see it. But only then. Like I said, they're like brother and sister."

"You forgot Peter, Sirius," I remarked.

"Peter wouldn't even think about it. Neither would I. We just don't see her that way. Remus doesn't even think of her that way. I don't even think I ever even noticed she was a girl until you started dating her."

"What did you think she was?"

"I don't know. I didn't know you even liked her before that. I thought you wanted," he sighed longingly, "Camilla Yellowbird."

"Who?"

Sirius was astonished. "Camilla Yellowbird! The Hufflepuff! She was in our year. You sat by her during Herbology, don't you remember?"

"No, I don't. Should I?"

"Yes, James. She only was the most desired girl in the entire school."

"I totally don't remember her at all."

"James, she had the biggest chest in the entire school. She was bigger than the biggest seventh-years during third year! And she never once wore a bra! How can you not remember her?"

I shrugged. "But why did you think I wanted her?"

"You always seemed to stare at her during Herbology. Well, every boy in the room did too so I wasn't surprised."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, remembering, "I only stared at her so it wouldn't be so obvious that I was staring at Lily. I barely knew who was I looking at!"

Sirius appeared to be absolutely stunned. "My God, James, you have some tunnel vision, you know that? How could you completely miss her?"

"Well, I don't really like them that big, I guess. Maybe it never turned me on or something."

"They weren't real, you know," a voice interrupted.

We glanced up and Lily saw looking at us from the kitchen, munching on a carrot.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, "did we wake you?"

"Well, you two are pretty loud. I was hungry anyway."

"How long have you been there?" Sirius demanded.

"Hm... since you two were discussing how Remus dating me would be like incest. I have no idea why you were discussing that but I really don't care at this point."

"So, what's this about Camilla's you-know...?" Sirius prompted.

"Her older sister was in Gryffindor. She gathered us all around one night to soothe our fears about our boys being taken away by her sister. At Hogwarts, she used an illusion that she found in one of their mother's magazines or something. During the summer, she stuffed her blouses with water balloons. And, yes, she wore a bra."

"I'm so disappointed," Sirius sighed. "Isn't anything genuine anymore?"

"So, James, here, got the real deal. No illusions or potions needed to enhance my feminine charms, isn't that right?"

"But it wouldn't hurt," Sirius joked.

"Shut up!" Lily laughed.

"Besides," Sirius went on, "maybe he missed her because he was too busy leaving his glasses behind to impress you, Lily!"

"Hey!" I objected, "that was once!"

"I still remember it," Sirius said, " 'I don't really need them anyway', my foot. You were blind as a bat. We practically had to be a large group of guide dogs for you that day!"

"You didn't exactly help any!" I accused Lily, who was chortling, " 'Oh, your eyes are so pretty.'"

"They were and they still are, James," Lily replied in a soothing voice.

"Practically encouraged me, you did. Only did it for you, after all!" I snapped back.

"I can still remember the assignment. Turn a white slip of parchment into a red rose. What's he do? Turn his white quill into a red rose! It was priceless, dew and everything! Very impressive, Mr. Potter," Sirius joked.

"She didn't have to make me do that bloody eye exam in front of everyone! Pure torture that was! I was never so embarrassed in my life."

"Remus tried to help," Lily added softly.

"Just got us in trouble!" I corrected. "Were you even impressed, Lily? Honestly?"

"Not really," she admitted. Sirius laughed as I sulked.

"Speaking of James doing stupid stuff," Sirius began.

"Let's not," I replied.

He ignored me. "Remember when you suggested that James had to speak twenty times a day?"

"I do! It worked too! Everyone started to make goals as well. It was fun."

"Not for me," I interrupted, "having everyone tally up how many times I spoke per day."

"But it made you open up. Remember those 'Free Five Minutes'? Didn't you enjoy those?"

"I felt really stupid," I grumbled.

"You liked it, admit it," Sirius taunted.

"It's really weird to be forced to speak when you have nothing to say and then timed on top of it," I explained.

"I enjoyed them at least, it was fun. You had lots of things to say once you got going. That was the whole point," Lily concluded. She yawned. "We should stop rehashing our school days and go back to bed."

"Alright, you head on up, I'll be there soon," I replied. Lily stepped upstairs as Sirius and I lapsed into silence.

"Who do you think they'll pick?" Sirius asked, worry clearly on his face.

"I really couldn't say. I would have never guessed my father but there you have it."

"I don't want anyone to die."

"Neither do I. But, I think, it is better to die with on the side of right than live on the side of evil."

"Perhaps," was all Sirius said.

To Be Continued...

Author's Notes: What is it with Sirius ending these chapters saying cryptic stuff? I don't know. This is a fairly short chapter, I'm astonished. The last two bits with James not wearing his glasses and making James talk were from earlier chapters but didn't fit. I always wanted to introduce them so here they are. Anyway, I would really like a review. Just push the button or e-mail me at destinyplot@lycos.com

See ya later!