Kim stood outside the restaurant that Aaron had told her the author's
dinner was to be held at. She had spent the entire afternoon shopping for
the perfect dress with Carlos. She finally settled on a pink one with a
shawl. She stood outside for the entire length of the dinner waiting for
Aaron. Once she decided it was useless and that he wasn't coming, she left.
When Kim got back to her apartment she tried calling Aaron again, still no answer. She began silently cursing him for what he did. She had finally found someone who seemed decent and then he had to go stand her up. Kim decided that he wasn't worth her time and went to sleep.
The next day Kim was working with Carlos again. As she had expected he asked her about her date the night before. They were out front restocking the bus so she felt it was ok to talk about the night's events.
"He never showed," Kim said.
"What? Did he call?" Carlos said, shocked.
"No, I tried calling him and got nothing."
"Have you heard from him today?"
"Nothing, I haven't tried calling him either. If he can't call me to even apologize I don't want anything to do with him."
"But you really like him, remember all the time we spent yesterday looking for "the perfect dress"?"
"Yeah, I don't think I ever thanked you for putting up with me. It meant a lot."
"I could tell how important it was to you."
"Kim." came a voice from behind her and Carlos.
"Aaron? What are you doing here?" Kim asked.
"I want to explain," he replied.
"What you have to wait an entire day to apologize to the woman? She spent all day yesterday shopping for a dress she felt was suitable. And you know what, she looked damn good in it. It takes a horrible man to stand someone up without even calling," Carlos said, stepping to Kim's defense.
"I couldn't call, I was preoccupied," Aaron tried defending himself.
"Did you have any intention of going to that dinner?" Kim asked.
"Yes I did, but something else came up."
"Care to tell me what that something was?"
"I can't."
"Aaron, get out of here. I'm not going to be involved with someone who won't be honest with me."
"Kim."
"Leave now. We are over. Don't call me. Don't see me at work. Leave me alone."
"Kim please."
"Did you not hear her?"
"Fine, but you're making a mistake."
"That's not how I see it."
Aaron turned around and walked away. Kim sat down on the back of the ambulance, resting her head on her hands.
"Are you ok?" Carlos asked.
"I will be."
"If it's any consolation, I think you did the right thing."
"Thanks Carlos. Thanks for sticking up for me too."
"I'm not going to stand by and watch someone try to walk all over you. You deserve better."
"Since when have you become so mushy?"
"I saw something in a different light."
"Boy 55-3 respond to 145 E. 110th for a fall victim," came the dispatchers voice over their radios.
"Boy 55-3 responding," Kim replied to the call.
Kim and Carlos responded to the call. The rest of the day was fairly busy. They only had down time to eat.
~*~* 3 weeks later
The police had been chasing a suspect who then caused a multi-vehicle accident. Doc, Alex, Kim and Carlos responded on the buses and the squad followed them in. Alex had been on top of one of the cars tending to an elderly couple trapped in one car. Lt. Johnson yelled at her to get off the car, Alex didn't listen. The next thing everyone knew the car exploded. Alex was thrown off the car. When she landed everyone gathered around her knowing the outcome of the explosion. Alex lay on the ground bleeding to death. Carlos tried to reassure Alex, even though he knew she wasn't going to be ok. Everyone was in shock from what they had seen. Kim accompanied Ty to tell Alex's mother. When Ty and Kim arrived back at the hospital with Alex's mother everyone from the 5-5 was there. Kim needed to take a moment to herself so she walked down towards the lounge. As she opened the door she noticed someone else sitting there. It was Carlos.
"Hey," Kim said as she walked in. Carlos looked in her direction.
"How are you doing?" she asked. As Carlos turned to face her she could tell that he had been crying.
"I just watched one of my friends die, how do you think I am?"
"We all did Carlos, I just was curious if you wanted to talk to someone."
"I'm still in shock I think."
"Maybe if you talk when it sinks in it won't hit you as hard."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, just whatever is on your mind."
"I lied to a dying woman."
"It's more than I did. I just stood there. You at least had the courage to say something to her."
"I don't remember feeling like this when Bobby was killed."
"You didn't know Bobby that well. You rode with Alex a lot. You guys may not have been the best of friends, but riding with someone day after day will do something to you."
"I guess. I just don't know what to do."
"The best thing right now is probably to try not to think about it until you are in a better state of mind."
"I don't want to go home. She was there a lot with Ty. I remember things she did."
"Come on, we'll go out for coffee."
"How come you are holding up so well?"
"I've been through this before. I am devastated just like everyone else, but I know how to handle myself this time. I know what losing control can do to you."
"What do you mean?"
"When Bobby died I went into a big downward spiral. It came down to me trying to kill myself."
"I thought you said that was an accident."
"I tried to act like it was, but I learned it was better to admit that I did try to kill myself."
"You don't feel like that this time?"
"It is exactly the same, but this time I am not going to do it on my own. I am going to help who I can and lean on someone when I need it."
"You can lean on me if you want."
"Thanks Carlos, I'll remember that."
"I think I'll take you up on that coffee offer."
"Good. Let's go."
Kim and Carlos left the hospital and went to a near by diner for coffee. They talked about various things. Kim did most of the talking, trying to help Carlos deal with his feelings. She didn't want the same thing to happen to him that happened to her.
~*~*~ 3 days later
Today was the day everyone dreaded, the day one of your own is laid to rest. It's like the final phase in realizing someone is gone. As they were in the hospital, everyone was at the funeral for Alex. The funeral was well prepared. The church was beautiful and the ceremony was well organized. After the ceremony Alex's mother had invited everyone to her house for food. Everyone accepted the invite. At Mrs. Taylor's house people broke off into groups talking about various things. Kim walked outside wanting a few moments to herself. She sat down next to the pond Mrs. Taylor had in the backyard. It seemed so peaceful. Suddenly Kim felt a hand on her shoulder.
"I thought you weren't going to do this alone?" Carlos said.
"I just wanted a minute to gather myself again."
"You sure you're ok?"
"I'm not ok, but I think I can handle myself."
"You want me to sit out here with you?"
"No, I'll be fine. I'll be back in in a minute."
"Ok. I'll see you inside."
Carlos walked back inside leaving Kim alone by the pond again. She watched him walk away. He had changed a lot in recent time. He seemed to be more caring. Kim liked the new caring Carlos. It was nice. Kim needed someone, she lost Bobby and now Alex is gone, she has no one she is close to. Why not Carlos? That thought brought a smile to Kim's face. With that thought she went back into the house.
Kim didn't spend too much more time at the house. Everyone had done their talking and crying, it was time to leave. Kim said her goodbyes and walked home.
~*~*~ 2 days later
It was time to go back to work for everyone on the third watch. Kim was hoping that she would be partnered with Carlos instead of their new hire. She would feel more comfortable having someone who knew the situation around. She walked into the station and saw that everyone still had gloomy looks on their faces. It hit them again that Alex was gone. Today was the first day most had worked since she was killed. Kim walked upstairs to get changed without saying a word. Upstairs she found Doc.
"Hey Doc. How are you?"
"Not too bad, I just wish this new kid would show up."
"Don't worry Doc, I'm sure he will be here."
"I hope you don't mind, I had to put you with Carlos. It's kind of policy that I get the newbie."
"I expected it, it's ok. We'll be fine."
"I'm sure you will."
Doc got up and walked towards the stairs. As he walked down Kim could hear him say hi to Carlos.
"Hey Kim, looks like it's you and me today," Carlos said stepping on to the landing.
"Yup. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all, I'd rather you than the newbie."
"My thoughts exactly."
Carlos walked over to his locker and started getting changed. Neither he nor Kim said anything. The silence was bothering Carlos.
"You still ok with this whole thing?" Carlos asked.
"It's going to take time Carlos. Don't worry about me losing it. I promise to talk to you before I do."
"I don't want to sound like I am pushing you."
"You don't Carlos, it's nice to know someone cares. Jimmy, who swears he still has feelings for me, hasn't said one word to me."
"Do you want him to?"
"No, it's more proof I have to use against him if he claims that he still loves me."
"Have you tried talking to him? I know he and Alex were pretty good friends."
"I talked to him a little at Alex's mom's house, he seemed to be okay."
"You seem to be okay too though."
"What are you trying to say? Do you want me to go back to Jimmy?"
"No not at all, I'm just trying to put things in another perspective for you. On the outside you seem to be holding together quite well, but you keep saying you are absolutely devastated. You understand what I am trying to say?"
"Yeah, it makes sense. Maybe I'll talk to him later, just to make sure he is ok."
"That's all I was trying to do."
"Thanks Carlos. I'll meet you down by the bus."
"Ok, I'll be down in a minute."
Kim walked down the stairs to make sure the bus was stocked. Carlos watched her leave and then sat down on his bunk. Was it a good thing she got upset when she thought he was trying to suggest she go back to Jimmy? Carlos wasn't sure what he wanted with Kim. He had never enjoyed a woman's company like he does Kim's. He was always letting the charm flow to get whoever the catch of the night was to his bed. He didn't want to do that to Kim. Then what did he want with Kim? Carlos told himself he would have to figure it out soon. Maybe the time they spent riding together would help him decide. Carlos stood, finished getting dressed and went downstairs to help Kim with the bus.
Kim and Carlos answered a call for a woman with difficulty breathing. They both decided that they really didn't want to go back to the house, the mood was too gloomy. They headed to a spot under the bridge. It was a known spot among those in the 5-5, they went there for some quiet time. Carlos parked the bus along the water. Kim got out and walked to the rail. Carlos followed her.
"Alex and I used to come down here and talk about our guy problems," Kim said.
"Alex liked to come down here when we rode together too. She would always sit on that bench over there and write."
"What did she write?"
"I don't know. I never asked, she never told."
"I can remember being down here the first time she told me that she and Ty were together."
"He was really hung up on her."
"She liked him too, I wish I knew why they broke up."
"He said that they just drifted apart."
"Yeah, Alex said they didn't talk much. It's too bad."
"I just hope that he is ok, I can't get him to talk."
"It's horrible to see a situation like that, someone has genuine feelings for another, but they can't ever be known because they waited too long."
Carlos didn't say anything. He didn't want to say something wrong. Kim walked to the back of the bus, opened the doors and sat down on the step. Carlos watched her sit down and then decided to join her.
"You ok?" he asked her.
"I just wish Alex was back. She was who I leaned on ever since Bobby died. Both of my best friends have died. It's not fair," Kim said trying to hold back the tears.
"I told you that you can lean on me."
"I know, but it's not the same. I really appreciate you being here for me Carlos. Don't think I don't."
"It works both ways, I have been able to keep my mind on something other than Alex."
"I've been so wrapped up in me, I never asked you if you wanted to talk about something."
"It's ok Kim, but I do want to talk about something."
"I'm listening."
"Before you were talking about feelings and waiting too long, I don't want to do that. I haven't been able to figure it out yet, but I like spending time with you. I don't know what it means, but I do and I wanted you to know."
"I like spending time with you too, but I have a better idea of why."
As she finished her sentence, Kim leaned over and kissed Carlos. It was something that she had wanted to do. Ever since that day she bought the dress she has seen Carlos in a different light. It's a light she really likes.
"You have a better idea now?" Kim asked as she broke the kiss.
"I am still a bit skeptical," Carlos said with a smile. Kim leaned over and kissed him again.
"Now I'm sure. I like spending time with you and I really like kissing you."
"Well that makes two of us."
When Kim got back to her apartment she tried calling Aaron again, still no answer. She began silently cursing him for what he did. She had finally found someone who seemed decent and then he had to go stand her up. Kim decided that he wasn't worth her time and went to sleep.
The next day Kim was working with Carlos again. As she had expected he asked her about her date the night before. They were out front restocking the bus so she felt it was ok to talk about the night's events.
"He never showed," Kim said.
"What? Did he call?" Carlos said, shocked.
"No, I tried calling him and got nothing."
"Have you heard from him today?"
"Nothing, I haven't tried calling him either. If he can't call me to even apologize I don't want anything to do with him."
"But you really like him, remember all the time we spent yesterday looking for "the perfect dress"?"
"Yeah, I don't think I ever thanked you for putting up with me. It meant a lot."
"I could tell how important it was to you."
"Kim." came a voice from behind her and Carlos.
"Aaron? What are you doing here?" Kim asked.
"I want to explain," he replied.
"What you have to wait an entire day to apologize to the woman? She spent all day yesterday shopping for a dress she felt was suitable. And you know what, she looked damn good in it. It takes a horrible man to stand someone up without even calling," Carlos said, stepping to Kim's defense.
"I couldn't call, I was preoccupied," Aaron tried defending himself.
"Did you have any intention of going to that dinner?" Kim asked.
"Yes I did, but something else came up."
"Care to tell me what that something was?"
"I can't."
"Aaron, get out of here. I'm not going to be involved with someone who won't be honest with me."
"Kim."
"Leave now. We are over. Don't call me. Don't see me at work. Leave me alone."
"Kim please."
"Did you not hear her?"
"Fine, but you're making a mistake."
"That's not how I see it."
Aaron turned around and walked away. Kim sat down on the back of the ambulance, resting her head on her hands.
"Are you ok?" Carlos asked.
"I will be."
"If it's any consolation, I think you did the right thing."
"Thanks Carlos. Thanks for sticking up for me too."
"I'm not going to stand by and watch someone try to walk all over you. You deserve better."
"Since when have you become so mushy?"
"I saw something in a different light."
"Boy 55-3 respond to 145 E. 110th for a fall victim," came the dispatchers voice over their radios.
"Boy 55-3 responding," Kim replied to the call.
Kim and Carlos responded to the call. The rest of the day was fairly busy. They only had down time to eat.
~*~* 3 weeks later
The police had been chasing a suspect who then caused a multi-vehicle accident. Doc, Alex, Kim and Carlos responded on the buses and the squad followed them in. Alex had been on top of one of the cars tending to an elderly couple trapped in one car. Lt. Johnson yelled at her to get off the car, Alex didn't listen. The next thing everyone knew the car exploded. Alex was thrown off the car. When she landed everyone gathered around her knowing the outcome of the explosion. Alex lay on the ground bleeding to death. Carlos tried to reassure Alex, even though he knew she wasn't going to be ok. Everyone was in shock from what they had seen. Kim accompanied Ty to tell Alex's mother. When Ty and Kim arrived back at the hospital with Alex's mother everyone from the 5-5 was there. Kim needed to take a moment to herself so she walked down towards the lounge. As she opened the door she noticed someone else sitting there. It was Carlos.
"Hey," Kim said as she walked in. Carlos looked in her direction.
"How are you doing?" she asked. As Carlos turned to face her she could tell that he had been crying.
"I just watched one of my friends die, how do you think I am?"
"We all did Carlos, I just was curious if you wanted to talk to someone."
"I'm still in shock I think."
"Maybe if you talk when it sinks in it won't hit you as hard."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, just whatever is on your mind."
"I lied to a dying woman."
"It's more than I did. I just stood there. You at least had the courage to say something to her."
"I don't remember feeling like this when Bobby was killed."
"You didn't know Bobby that well. You rode with Alex a lot. You guys may not have been the best of friends, but riding with someone day after day will do something to you."
"I guess. I just don't know what to do."
"The best thing right now is probably to try not to think about it until you are in a better state of mind."
"I don't want to go home. She was there a lot with Ty. I remember things she did."
"Come on, we'll go out for coffee."
"How come you are holding up so well?"
"I've been through this before. I am devastated just like everyone else, but I know how to handle myself this time. I know what losing control can do to you."
"What do you mean?"
"When Bobby died I went into a big downward spiral. It came down to me trying to kill myself."
"I thought you said that was an accident."
"I tried to act like it was, but I learned it was better to admit that I did try to kill myself."
"You don't feel like that this time?"
"It is exactly the same, but this time I am not going to do it on my own. I am going to help who I can and lean on someone when I need it."
"You can lean on me if you want."
"Thanks Carlos, I'll remember that."
"I think I'll take you up on that coffee offer."
"Good. Let's go."
Kim and Carlos left the hospital and went to a near by diner for coffee. They talked about various things. Kim did most of the talking, trying to help Carlos deal with his feelings. She didn't want the same thing to happen to him that happened to her.
~*~*~ 3 days later
Today was the day everyone dreaded, the day one of your own is laid to rest. It's like the final phase in realizing someone is gone. As they were in the hospital, everyone was at the funeral for Alex. The funeral was well prepared. The church was beautiful and the ceremony was well organized. After the ceremony Alex's mother had invited everyone to her house for food. Everyone accepted the invite. At Mrs. Taylor's house people broke off into groups talking about various things. Kim walked outside wanting a few moments to herself. She sat down next to the pond Mrs. Taylor had in the backyard. It seemed so peaceful. Suddenly Kim felt a hand on her shoulder.
"I thought you weren't going to do this alone?" Carlos said.
"I just wanted a minute to gather myself again."
"You sure you're ok?"
"I'm not ok, but I think I can handle myself."
"You want me to sit out here with you?"
"No, I'll be fine. I'll be back in in a minute."
"Ok. I'll see you inside."
Carlos walked back inside leaving Kim alone by the pond again. She watched him walk away. He had changed a lot in recent time. He seemed to be more caring. Kim liked the new caring Carlos. It was nice. Kim needed someone, she lost Bobby and now Alex is gone, she has no one she is close to. Why not Carlos? That thought brought a smile to Kim's face. With that thought she went back into the house.
Kim didn't spend too much more time at the house. Everyone had done their talking and crying, it was time to leave. Kim said her goodbyes and walked home.
~*~*~ 2 days later
It was time to go back to work for everyone on the third watch. Kim was hoping that she would be partnered with Carlos instead of their new hire. She would feel more comfortable having someone who knew the situation around. She walked into the station and saw that everyone still had gloomy looks on their faces. It hit them again that Alex was gone. Today was the first day most had worked since she was killed. Kim walked upstairs to get changed without saying a word. Upstairs she found Doc.
"Hey Doc. How are you?"
"Not too bad, I just wish this new kid would show up."
"Don't worry Doc, I'm sure he will be here."
"I hope you don't mind, I had to put you with Carlos. It's kind of policy that I get the newbie."
"I expected it, it's ok. We'll be fine."
"I'm sure you will."
Doc got up and walked towards the stairs. As he walked down Kim could hear him say hi to Carlos.
"Hey Kim, looks like it's you and me today," Carlos said stepping on to the landing.
"Yup. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all, I'd rather you than the newbie."
"My thoughts exactly."
Carlos walked over to his locker and started getting changed. Neither he nor Kim said anything. The silence was bothering Carlos.
"You still ok with this whole thing?" Carlos asked.
"It's going to take time Carlos. Don't worry about me losing it. I promise to talk to you before I do."
"I don't want to sound like I am pushing you."
"You don't Carlos, it's nice to know someone cares. Jimmy, who swears he still has feelings for me, hasn't said one word to me."
"Do you want him to?"
"No, it's more proof I have to use against him if he claims that he still loves me."
"Have you tried talking to him? I know he and Alex were pretty good friends."
"I talked to him a little at Alex's mom's house, he seemed to be okay."
"You seem to be okay too though."
"What are you trying to say? Do you want me to go back to Jimmy?"
"No not at all, I'm just trying to put things in another perspective for you. On the outside you seem to be holding together quite well, but you keep saying you are absolutely devastated. You understand what I am trying to say?"
"Yeah, it makes sense. Maybe I'll talk to him later, just to make sure he is ok."
"That's all I was trying to do."
"Thanks Carlos. I'll meet you down by the bus."
"Ok, I'll be down in a minute."
Kim walked down the stairs to make sure the bus was stocked. Carlos watched her leave and then sat down on his bunk. Was it a good thing she got upset when she thought he was trying to suggest she go back to Jimmy? Carlos wasn't sure what he wanted with Kim. He had never enjoyed a woman's company like he does Kim's. He was always letting the charm flow to get whoever the catch of the night was to his bed. He didn't want to do that to Kim. Then what did he want with Kim? Carlos told himself he would have to figure it out soon. Maybe the time they spent riding together would help him decide. Carlos stood, finished getting dressed and went downstairs to help Kim with the bus.
Kim and Carlos answered a call for a woman with difficulty breathing. They both decided that they really didn't want to go back to the house, the mood was too gloomy. They headed to a spot under the bridge. It was a known spot among those in the 5-5, they went there for some quiet time. Carlos parked the bus along the water. Kim got out and walked to the rail. Carlos followed her.
"Alex and I used to come down here and talk about our guy problems," Kim said.
"Alex liked to come down here when we rode together too. She would always sit on that bench over there and write."
"What did she write?"
"I don't know. I never asked, she never told."
"I can remember being down here the first time she told me that she and Ty were together."
"He was really hung up on her."
"She liked him too, I wish I knew why they broke up."
"He said that they just drifted apart."
"Yeah, Alex said they didn't talk much. It's too bad."
"I just hope that he is ok, I can't get him to talk."
"It's horrible to see a situation like that, someone has genuine feelings for another, but they can't ever be known because they waited too long."
Carlos didn't say anything. He didn't want to say something wrong. Kim walked to the back of the bus, opened the doors and sat down on the step. Carlos watched her sit down and then decided to join her.
"You ok?" he asked her.
"I just wish Alex was back. She was who I leaned on ever since Bobby died. Both of my best friends have died. It's not fair," Kim said trying to hold back the tears.
"I told you that you can lean on me."
"I know, but it's not the same. I really appreciate you being here for me Carlos. Don't think I don't."
"It works both ways, I have been able to keep my mind on something other than Alex."
"I've been so wrapped up in me, I never asked you if you wanted to talk about something."
"It's ok Kim, but I do want to talk about something."
"I'm listening."
"Before you were talking about feelings and waiting too long, I don't want to do that. I haven't been able to figure it out yet, but I like spending time with you. I don't know what it means, but I do and I wanted you to know."
"I like spending time with you too, but I have a better idea of why."
As she finished her sentence, Kim leaned over and kissed Carlos. It was something that she had wanted to do. Ever since that day she bought the dress she has seen Carlos in a different light. It's a light she really likes.
"You have a better idea now?" Kim asked as she broke the kiss.
"I am still a bit skeptical," Carlos said with a smile. Kim leaned over and kissed him again.
"Now I'm sure. I like spending time with you and I really like kissing you."
"Well that makes two of us."