HUMILIATION!!!!!
By: Blank and Line, typed by Line!
Blank: You know we had to do this, heehee!!!
Disclaimer: Again, we don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, we just like it. And, for future reference, do you really need to know we don't own this wonderful, inspiring piece of artwork that 2 teens couldn't come up with anyway?
To the story...
Chapter 1: The Challenge
It was a boring day. Then again, what day isn't, especially with Hiei around. Doesn't do much, ya know? Not that he's dull... just boring... Anyway....
Blank: Hey! He's not that bad! And he's cute, and cuddly and...
Line: You wouldn't know if he were cuddly, he refuses to cuddle.
*Blank sweatdrops and says something like: "Too true." or "Fuck you," I can't tell.
ANYWAY!!!!! Back to the story! Yeesh, seriously! So, Kurama, Hiei, Kawara and Kiyomi were walking down the street, singing "do wa diddy, diddy dum, diddy do..." Oh, wait wrong thing!
Hiei: I certainly HOPE so!
Line: Hey, we're the authors here, it's gonna be how WE say!
Blank: Besides, we make you totally perfect, so quit complaining!
Line: Yes, well we're never gonna get this damn thing started!
As we were saying! They were walking down the street, NOT SINGING, and just sorta staring into space, not talking and most likely have fantasies about their lovers...
Blank: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Line: It's the truth and you know it, girlfriend!
So, Kawara said, "I'm bored."
"Thanks for stating the obvious, hun," Kurama sighed sarcastically.
"Well, it's true," Kiyomi shot back, clearly in a bad mood.
"Hn," and I bet NO ONE CAN GUESS WHO SAID THAT! *All eyes fall upon Hiei who looks away and starts whistling innocently*
"Whatcha wanna do," asked Kurama.
"I don't think we could do what I wanna do," Stated Kawara.
"Yeah, we may be demons, but we LOOK to young to lose our virginity and become pregnant..." Kiyomi sighed, sounding very disappointed. Hiei and Kurama fell over sideways as their girlfriends laughed evilly.
"Just kidding," Kiyomi said, laughing.
"I wasn't," said Kawara, pouting. Kurama's eyes went wide and he started hyperventilating. Kawara just giggled insanely. Hiei coughed and turned away, hiding his laughter and, for no apparent reason, Kiyomi slapped his ass. He stopped laughing and gave her the evil glare. She simply giggled and hid behind Kawara. I know, this is all very random. I can't think of anything else!
"Someone's on a sugar high," Kawara said, trying desperately to hide her laughter.
"No, she just does that spontaneously with absolutely NO warning," Hiei commented, sighing and rubbing his temples. Kiyomi responded by skipping around him and draping her arms over his shoulders and kissing his cheeks, much to his disapproval.
"Get a room you two," Kurama stated because Kawara was now kneeling on the ground, banging her fist against the sidewalk. Peals of laughter could be heard and tears were streaming down her face and landing on the cement.
"Can't we do this somewhere less... PUBLIC!" Hiei shouted. Kiyomi frowned and left her spot on his shoulders. He then tried to rub the lip gloss from his face, only succeeding in smudging it so much that it looked like he waxed himself.
Kiyomi then peered over at Kawara who was now sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk wiping her tears and catching her breath. She saw Kiyomi's stare and raised an eyebrow. Kiyomi pointed her chin towards Kurama and an evil smile found its way onto Kawara's face. She cracked her knuckles and stood up.
She made her way over to Kurama and he knew what was coming. He turned his face skywards and closed his eyes, mumbling "Help me, WHOEVER'S UP THERE!!!!! IF THERE REALLY IS A GOD, SAVE ME!!!!!!!!" Kawara simply giggled and, facing Kurama, threw one arm over his shoulder while the other hand rested on his chest. He brought his face down to look at her and soon regretted it, seeing as she planted a light kiss on his nose. Not that he minded being kissed, just in public it was a different story.
She moved her hand up to the collar of his shirt and started unbuttoning it. Kurama quickly grabbed her hand and shoved it away, haphazardly re-buttoning his shirt.
"Naughty, naughty, Kawara," Kiyomi scolded wagging her finger at her friend. Kawara laughed, again, and attempted to regain her place on Kurama. He lightly pushed her backwards, again regretting what he did.
"What're you guys, GAY or something!" Kawara screeched. She then looked back at Kiyomi who replied:
"I think SO!" The two of them moved a little away from the boys and started talking. Kurama and Hiei looked at each other, fearing the worst. The girls then turned back around STILL grinning menacingly.
"We have a proposition," Kawara started.
"You two have to go around as a gay couple all day and we promise to humiliate you less in public," Kiyomi explained.
"What if we don't do it?" Hiei asked.
"Well, for Kurama, we show naked baby pictures, believe me, I've seen them. Adorable, but excellent blackmail," Kawara clarified.
"Yes, and for Hiei, I'll make sure everyone knows about his stuffed dragon," Kiyomi said, grinning from ear to ear. Hiei gulped, sank to his knees and stammered:
"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about Draggy!" Kawara started another laughing fit and Kiyomi shrugged and gave him a challenging look. Kurama, on the other hand, simply had a look of fear on his face. He said nothing, heard nothing and, felt nothing because Kawara easily pushed him over without getting more from him than a blink and short moan.
"WE'LL DO IT!!!!!" Hiei screamed!!!!!!!
"Yes, but you guys can't just humiliate us less, there's gotta be more to it than that," Kurama solicited, sitting up on the sidewalk, awakened from his trance by Hiei's outburst. Kawara looked at Kiyomi who shrugged.
"Okay, what do you propose," Kiyomi asked.
"You'll find out AFTER this is completed," Hiei said a bit more confident. The girls looked at each other and shrugged. How bad could it be? They agreed.
"Okay, first of all, you guys gotta hold hands," Kawara said, jumping up and down, clearly excited. Kurama and Hiei looked at each other again and gulped. They stuck out their hands and quickly looked away, each recoiling at the others' touch. They then, slowly, looked back at each other and winced.
"You guys are so cute and..." Kiyomi started.
"NERVOUS," Kawara finished.
"I don't see YOU two walking around like lovers!" Hiei yelled, clearly upset. Kurama nodded. By this time they didn't even notice that they were holding hands without even thinking about how awful it was. The girls just shrugged and started walking on ahead of them. The two "lovers" tried to keep up, still holding each others' hands.
Kiyomi and Kawara then saw Yusuke and Kuwabara. They waved and Kurama and Hiei groaned.
"Hey you- WOAH! KURAMA AND HIEI!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL..." Yusuke yelled. Kuwabara just stared while Hiei and Kurama looked away and took a step away from each other, still holding hands.
"It's a dare," Kawara explained.
"Yeah, these guys gotta act like homos all day," said Kiyomi, bluntly. Yusuke and Kuwabara nodded and started cracking up. Kawara and Kiyomi took a step aside from the group again and had another little chat. Let's see what they're up to, shall we?
Kiyomi: Hey, I got an idea.
Kawara: Shoot.
Kiyomi: We should hit on Yusuke and Kuwabara.
Kawara: Ew, why?
Kiyomi: To annoy Hiei and Kurama, of course.
Kawara: That's a good idea, but kinda... weird...
Kiyomi: It won't be for long.
Kawara: Okay, you should get Kuwabara. It would annoy Hiei more.
Kiyomi: Right.
Kawara: I've got another idea. Since Yusuke and Kuwabara are being so mean to our guys, we should dare them to act gay, too.
Kiyomi: Good idea, but what about blackmail.
Kawara: No need, those guys will rise to any challenge, they think they're so macho.
Kiyomi: Good point. Let's try it.
Both: Break huddle!
Line: Great, huh?
Blank: Certainly interesting... GO TEAM!
The girls meandered their way back to the guys to find their boyfriends being ridiculed, but still being obedient and holding hands.
"They're so good. And really cute. I almost feel bad," Kawara sighed.
"I know, but don't worry, it'll be over soon enough!" Kiyomi exclaimed brightly. Then, following their plan, Kawara walked over to Yusuke, running her hands through his hair and Kiyomi ran over to Kuwabara and clung to his arm, her head on his shoulder. Kurama and Hiei's eyes went REALLY wide and they gasped.
"How.."
"What.."
"Help..."
Hiei gulped again and started turning red. Kurama thought it would be safe to get away fast, but couldn't. Instead, he poked Hiei in the ribs and told him to calm down. Hiei growled and him and looked away, tightening his grip on Kurama's hand in frustration, rather than affection. Kurama's eyes lit up with an idea. While Kuwabara and Yusuke were enjoying the attention and flirting, Kurama turned to whisper in Hiei's ear.
"What do YOU want," Hiei growled again, clearly upset and annoyed AND embarrassed.
"Listen, I've got an idea, but it won't be very easy," Kurama said, plainly, with only a bit of embarrassment showing in his own cheeks.
"Hurry up cause this looks very wrong, ya know," Hiei said, ready to accept a plan.
"We have to pretend to like this, to enjoy being... gay. I'm not saying it to be a pervert, but I think it'll make Kawara and Kiyomi a bit jealous," Kurama explained. Hiei looked at him and smiled. It might work. But then he frowned and said suddenly:
"Does this mean we have to kiss and stuff?"
"I don't think so. Only if we really NEED to. Probably just *gulp* flirting and hugging and stuff," Kurama speedily said, one arm blocking his face so as not to get hit.
"Alright then," Hiei sighed, only a bit disappointed. This should be fun if it was going to annoy Kiyomi. Kurama sighed, bringing down his arm. Just to tease, Hiei raised his own as if he was gonna hit him, making Kurama in turn raise his again as well. He realized what Hiei was doing and started laughing. Soon, Hiei joined in and the both of them DID look like they were enjoying themselves, until they heard the girls giggling like maniacs. They looked over to see each hanging over one of the guys shoulders, batting their eyebrows and listening to each man's "impressing" stories. Hiei began to crush Kurama's hand again. This time Kurama gently squeezed back, flashing him a smile which relaxed Hiei a little.
The new couple looked up again and watched Kiyomi and Kawara go away to start another conversation. They started rolling their eyes when Yusuke and Kuwabara started making fun of them yet again. Kawara and Kiyomi came back with more of those seductive yet evil smiles.
"Yusuke, Kuwabara," Kawara started.
"It's YOUR turn to act like a gay couple," Kiyomi cackled. The guys looked at each other, unbelief all over their faces.
"Do you accept the challenge?" Kawara said raising her eyebrow. Both boys nodded, gulping and sweating.
"It isn't as hard as it looks," Hiei said moving his arm to Kurama's waist, much to both of their surprise. It just seemed like the right thing to do. So, Kurama rested his arm on Hiei's shoulders without too much hesitation. Kiyomi and Kawara gasped, their eyes widening.
"What's the matter?" Kurama said, almost sounding innocent. If it weren't for Hiei's trying to stop smiling, it would've passed for an honest question.
"Yeah," Hiei said between giggle fits, "Aren't we supposed to be gay?"
"How.."
"What.."
"Help..."
"THERE GOES ANOTHER PERFECTLY GOOD GUY GONE GAY!!!!!!" Kiyomi screeched sinking to the pavement. Kawara followed her down and between sobs said:
"No... Why... He's.. So ... Beautiful. Not.. Fair... I WANT MY BABY BACK!!!!!"
"Baby Back Ribs.... CHILI'S!!"
Line: What was THAT for?
Blank: It sounded like a Chili's commercial!
Line: Doh! What an idiot!
Blank: Heartbreak can do that to people, ya know!
Line: Oh, God, on with the story!
"Hey, what about us," Kuwabara said stupidly.
"An act to make the other dudes jealous," Yusuke explained for Kuwabara slowly so he could comprehend. Kuwabara then nodded, somewhat more educated on the matter.
Kiyomi and Kawara had another meeting.
Kiyomi: HUDDLE!!! What are we gonna do, team?
Kawara: Quit screaming, I've got an idea!
Kiyomi: But, we're down in the fourth quarter and only have ten minutes left...
Kawaara: This isn't a football game, genius. Unfortunately, it's real life.
Kiyomi: Don't remind me!
Kawara: Anyway, my idea!
Kiyomi: Right! What is it then?
Kawara: Go on a picnic with the guys. If they wanna be gay, then so be it they've REALLY gotta act gay now!
Kiyomi: Great idea! Food and A BUNCH OF LOSERS!!! THAT TEAM IS GOING DOWN!!!!!!
*In the background, all the guys are sweatdropping, hearing Kiyomi's football lingo.*
Kawara: I really wish you would stop that.
Kiyomi I do it just to annoy you, don't you know that?
Kawara: Yes, sadly, I do. Anyway, anything else?
Kiyomi: Nope. GO TEAM, GO!!!!!
Kawara: Break huddle...
Well, you like so far? Good! You betta, it was hard work, but fun. Find out what happens in chapter 2, The Picnic!