Disclaimer: All people and places belong to J. K. Rowling
Life Had Just Begun
By Terra
Chapter Twenty-nine: Huis Clos
The next morning, Sirius Apparated into our sitting room again with the news that Peter had accepted to do the switch.
"Are you sure no one else knows?" Lily asked.
"Well, to be honest, Blithe was there..."
"Sirius! I thought the whole point was for no one to know!"
"I know. It's okay. Blithe slept through the whole conversation. She was in the bedroom, I went in there without realizing it and I woke her up but she was still half-asleep even then. So, she didn't hear anything. Peter says that she can sleep through anything."
"What was she doing there?" Lily asked. We raised our eyebrows at her. She blushed. "Oh, yeah, forgot."
"Anyway, when Snape, ick, brings the potion, you just tell him that I'll be having it right away and then head to Peter's flat. He's going to wait all day. I'll be picking you up in a rented car at eleven o'clock tomorrow morning and we'll head to Godric's Hollow."
"That's great. How are we going to keep Blithe away though? Or Marguerite? You both have to hide."
"Oh, don't worry. Peter and I are going to come down with mono today. We won't be able to see anybody," Sirius explained with a smile.
"Are you going to be alright in my family's old manor? Most of the stuff is gone, it must look like a ghost house," I said.
"Don't worry. Thanks for the map of the hidden passages, though. Peter is just going to stay in his flat. He doesn't want to be too obvious about it. I couldn't talk him out of it. I'm going to be checking up on him every week. If I don't show up, that's his cue to get out and warn Dumbledore. That's the only way he's going to find out, if I'm captured. I'm going to take good care of him, don't worry. He'll be treated like a little king."
"All hail King Wormtail," I joked. "Hey, that rhymes."
"Well, I think that's everything. I'll see you tomorrow morning then," Sirius promised and Apparated.
An hour later, Snape arrived with four vials full of a clear liquid. He repeated the instructions that Dumbledore had given and we made sure to mention that Sirius was our Secret-Keeper.
"You're making a grave mistake," Snape hissed before he left.
"Nope. Good day, Snape," I replied and he Apparated. We then Flooed to Peter's flat.
*** ***
Peter was stirring a spoon in a cup of half-drunk tea. He was staring blankly at his kitchen wall. Peter's flat is clean but sparse. The doors always have a clear space, you can swing the doors wide open and touch nothing with the door. There is a lot of walking room because he bought things that were compact and took up as least space as possible. His furniture can very well be a portrait of himself: compact, neat, comfortable, and unobtrusive.
"One minute earlier and you would've ran into Blithe. That would have been awkward," Peter said, not looking at us.
"How's the mono?" Lily joked.
Peter coughed. "Working on it."
"She really didn't hear anything?"
"No. As soon as Sirius made to close the door, she had dozed off again. I practically had to drag her out of bed. She was nearly late for teaching Dance Dueling. I bet she doesn't even remember waking up the first time."
"Well, as long as she doesn't know. It's not that we don't trust her..."
"You just can't take any chances. I understand." Peter took out the spoon and sipped the cup. He grimaced. "Not my tea," he croaked. He pointed to another cup on the table. "That's my tea." He pulled it over and sipped it. "Cold." He took out his wand and heated it up with a spell. "Sit down," he said as he sipped it. He nodded in satisfaction and set it aside. I wondered whether he would leave it until it got cold again and repeat the same process over and over. We came over to sit. Harry squawked in his carrier. "Babies don't like me," Peter sang softly.
"Well, he has to learn to like you someday," Lily said.
"Let's just start so we can finish packing," I suggested.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Peter asked.
"Why do you ask that?" Lily inquired.
"I'm just wondering if you really want me to be the Secret-Keeper. Do you trust me?"
"Of course we trust you, Peter. We trust you with our lives," I replied.
"You can always back out and insist on Sirius, you know," Peter added.
"Peter, we trust you. We want you to. We all do," Lily insisted.
"Well, I just want to state for the record that this was not my idea but yours and Sirius'," Peter said in a tone I had never heard him use before. It sent shivers down my spine and still don't know why. He then laughed. "Relax! I'm as nervous about this as you are! I just don't want everyone yelling at me if something goes wrong."
"Nothing will go wrong," Lily assured Peter with a pat on his wand hand. "We're all going to make it."
"Yes," Peter replied, smiling, "we're going to make it."
We explained to Peter how to do the Charm and we all plucked out our hairs. We performed the charm on each other. Harry cried the entire time. I don't blame him. The potion was disgusting.
*** ***
Godric's Hollow is the summer home of my family. It was fairly isolated from both wizards and Muggles. It is surrounded by trees, which hide the house from view. Only one unpaved dirt road leads up to it.
Sirius picked us up when he said he would and we put all the belongings in the boot. Sirius took the driver's seat, I sat shot-gun and Lily and Harry sat in the back. We rode in silence as we passed houses and cities, adults going to an early lunch, children playing in the school-yards, separate from it all.
"Say," Sirius suggested, "why don't I turn on the radio?" We nodded and he flipped to a random station.
"Hey, it's Lucille and this is the radio station that everyone loves to play at work. It's a quarter after eleven and we're going to have another hour of non-stop music. Here's Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody', by request."
"This is an old song," Lily said. "I like Queen."
I had never heard the song before and it went like this:
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,
To me
At this point, there was a piano part. I commented, "Do you think Peter could play that?"
"I don't know," Lily replied.
"I bet he could," Sirius answered. "When we all get back to normal, we'll get him a recording so he hear it and play it."
The singing began again:
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama ooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come,
Send shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama ooo (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
"Oh, turn it off," Lily protested. "It's so maudlin."
"It's getting to the good bit," Sirius answered.
"I don't care. Turn it off." Sirius turned it off and we rode again in silence. The houses grew farther and farther apart and the busy city streets gave way to farms. We drove and we drove.
"Locked Away" was stuck in my head again. "I hate when that happens."
"What?" Sirius asked.
"When you get a song stuck in your head and you can't get it out."
"Do you have 'Bohemian Rhapsody' stuck in your head?"
"No, a song called 'Locked Away'. "
Lily growled. "Why all these sad songs?"
"No, 'Locked Away' is actually a happy song." I sang the refrain and, once I was done, I explained, "It's basically a love song. It was written after Grindelwald fell. The singer basically is joking that the next time there's a war, she'll hide him so he won't leave her again."
"It sounds like a song for psychopaths," Lily remarked and began did an impression of a maniac, wringing her hands and breathing really hard. "I'm going to lock you up and keep you forever."
"Okay, stop that. You're scaring me," Sirius replied.
"You two have no soul. I mean, how about songs of today? They all sound like stalkers. Love songs have always been like that. 'I love you, I need you...'" I replied.
"'I'll lock you up in my cupboard'," Lily added, laughing.
"'And I will pet you and love you and dress you up in the most pretty outfits'," Sirius joked.
"You people are impossible," I muttered as I stared out the window. "I wonder when I heard that song the first time."
"The first time? When your mum died, isn't it?" Sirius suggested.
"No, I swear I've heard it before." Like a bolt of lightning, I remembered. I gasped.
"What?" they both asked.
"I remember now. When I was born, the doctors told my parents that even if I lived, I would never see my sixth birthday."
"So?" Sirius wondered.
"Right before my sixth birthday, we went to Godric's Hollow for the weekend. After I had gone to sleep, I guess my parents realized that Saturday was my sixth birthday and I was obviously still alive. I remember waking up and hearing music from the sitting room below my bedroom. I crept down the stairs and saw my parents dancing to the music. They were laughing and my father was spinning my mother around. Then they saw me and my father scooped me from the bottom of the stairs and they spun me around and passed me around between them. And they played the same song over and over. It was 'Locked Away'." I smiled. "It was the only time I ever saw my parents dance anything other than a slow waltz. I had forgotten all about it."
"Well, that must be a good sign," Sirius said after a long moment. "If you remember that. You were supposed to die and you lived so now you'll live because both times you were at Godric's Hollow at the point when you were supposed to die."
"That's kind of a convoluted sign," I replied.
"Shut up. It works for me."
We drove and drove some more. After an hour of driving, I saw the outline of the summer house in the trees. I had never been to Godric's Hollow in the autumn and it looks less impressive than it does in the summer. The trees have lost half their leaves, making them look like black skeletal hands wearing threadbare gloves. It is rather depressing. Maybe it is just the situation that makes it depressing.
Sirius kept driving without any indication of slowing down. The house loomed into view and still he looked blankly ahead at the same speed. The house grew larger and larger until Lily screamed, "Stop!"
The car lurched as Sirius slammed on the brake. "What?" Sirius asked. "Did you forget something?"
Lily and I looked exasperatedly at him. "The house is there. You can stop," Lily explained.
"Where?"
"There!" I answered.
"Where? I don't see the house."
"You don't see the huge structure in front of you?!"
"I see trees and more trees. Is it behind the trees?" Sirius asked, shifting as if to get a better view, turning his head this way and that.
"It's right there!" I screamed, pointing at it. "Right in front of your face!"
"Let me get this straight. You both see a house that I can not."
"Yes," Lily answered then gasped slightly. "The charm! You can't see the house because of the Fidelius Charm!"
"Oh, that makes sense," Sirius said. "I wonder what would happen if I smash the car into it."
"NO!"
"I'm not going to. I'm just wondering if you can hurt the house even if you can't see it. I mean, can it be lit on fire?"
"I don't know. Come on, we have to unload and get inside. The longer we sit in here, the more time Lord Voldemort gets to find us," I said, opening the door and getting out of the car. The others got out as well and went to the boot of the car. Sirius heaved all the boxes and bags we had thrown in there. I picked up two bags of stuff and went towards the house. Leaving the stuff on the porch, I headed back.
"James! Come lift this!" Lily asked as I came forward.
"James is at the house still," Sirius said as he pulled another box out of the car.
"No, James is right here."
Sirius turned around and I waved and said, "Hi. I'm back!" Sirius stared blankly and his eyes darted from left to right and he spun around as he searched for me.
"Where?" he asked Lily.
"Here!" Lily answered, pointing at me.
"I don't see anyone."
"James, say something, really loud."
"My name is James Harold Potter!" I shouted. Lily looked at Sirius and he shook his head.
"I didn't hear anything."
"I guess there's a boundary line where we start to be affected by the charm. Since I took the potion, I can still see and hear James. Well, lift that box, anyway."
"Sure," I agreed, bending down to pick up the box but my hands went right through. "Lily, I can't."
"What do you mean you can't?"
"My hands go right through it. See?" I tried to pick up the box again and I couldn't touch it. Cautiously, Lily stepped forward, her hand outstretched. Slowly, she touched my shoulder, or tried to. Her hand went right through to the other side. We screamed and she recoiled backwards into Sirius.
"What now?" he asked.
"My hand went right through him," she explained, grimacing and shaking with horror. "That was creepy!"
"So, he can't touch anything?" Sirius asked.
"No, he can't. I wonder how far it is until it takes effect," Lily asked aloud. Before either of us could stop her, she walked forward. When she was a short distance beyond the car, Sirius fell to his and growled.
"Good job, Lily! Now I can't see you either!" Sirius shouted. "What if I can't cross that line at all? How is Harry going to get over there?" We gasped. He had a point. If Harry was unprotected, then the whole thing was worthless. "No point in not trying. If I can't get him over, I'm going to Peter and canceling the spell. We'll have to do it all over again." Sirius picked up Harry in his carrier and slowly walked forward, keeping his arm stretched out so Harry was far in front of him. "If I lose my hand, I'm going to be so angry with you two!" Finally, Harry went over the boundary line and his carrier went through Sirius' tightly clenched fingers. Lily managed to catch him in time. Sirius yelped. "He's gone!" He went on his knees and felt the ground around him. "I can't feel him on the ground. I hope one of you caught him. I didn't drop him, he just vanished! Hey, I'm over the line," Sirius remarked. He crawled further forward and looked around. "I can't see any of you. I think the boundary only applies to you. Let's just hope I can get your stuff over to you." He went back to the car and picked up the box that Lily had wanted before. "Here goes." He walked forward and crossed the boundary. "The box is still here. I'm going to put it down now." He placed it down and walked back. "It's still there. One of you, try picking it up." I nodded and went over to it. I could touch it and lifted it up. Sirius gasped. "It's gone. I guess if I bring it over there and you touch it, it's protected too. Well, I'll do that then. Don't go away." He walked back to the car and picked up more bags and placed them over the boundary line and walked back. He did this again and again, saying. "It's weird, knowing you're there and not seeing you or hearing you. And seeing all that stuff disappear. Really spooky. Remember that time you showed me your Invisibility Cloak? I still can't believe you did that. We had a lot of fun in those days. And I'm going to tell all that stuff to Harry, all the stuff you're going to leave out. I'll tell him all your dirty little secrets. Then again, you'll probably do the same to me. That's alright. I wanted to tell you before but you two vanished and everything so I'll tell you now. If it's over by Christmas, I'm going to ask Marguerite to marry me again. I'm going to ask her at Christmas. You have to be my best man, James. I told you I'd give you an all-important task when you get out, so there you go. And you're going to be the godfather of whatever child we have later on. Sorry, Lily, but I think Marguerite should have the right to pick the godmother. Tell you what, if we have another child, I'm going to insist that you're the godmother. She can pick the godfather for that one. We'll trade off. Uh, thanks for letting me use that account of yours for food and stuff. I won't use it for anything else, I promise." Sirius heaved the last box on to the ground. I touched it. "That's everything," Sirius sighed. "Don't go yet," he insisted. "I want to talk a little bit. I know you can't answer but it's like visiting my relatives, they don't talk back either." Sirius sat on the ground, cross-legged. "I wish I could say I'm not afraid to die because I am. I don't want to die but I know that's what is going to happen. I know I said I'd marry Marguerite and have kids and all that but I don't really think it's going to happen. I know they're going to kill me. But if my death saves both of you, Harry, and Peter, then that's okay. I'm willing to die for you." Sirius began to choke up. He rubbed his eyes. "I know this is going to end. He can't last forever. I know that you're going to be around to see it and you'll watch Harry grow up, have a few more kids, and generally be happy. And I think that's what you all deserve. If I'm not there when it happens, could you do me a small favor?" He took a deep breath. "Could you... visit my parents and Clarissa? On their deathdays? My parents died November 4th and Clarissa died July 31st. This year, I'm asking Marguerite to do it, since I supposedly have mono, but if I die, I don't want to burden her forever. I want to move on with her life and be happy. I'm only asking you because you're my friends and I know my parents would have liked you and I know that Clarissa certainly did. I don't want them to feel neglected. If you can't do it, that's okay. I understand. I'll watch over you, especially Harry, since I'm his godfather." Sirius gulped. "I'm dragging the inevitable out. It's getting late. I'm going to go now." He got up, brushed himself off longer than he usually would, and began to walk backwards to the car. "This is going to end," he called. "Good-bye, James. Good-bye, Lily. Good-bye, Harry." As if wanting to go before he broke down, he wretched the driver's side door open and got in. The car roared to life and Sirius slowly pulled away, turned around, and drove out of sight. Lily fell to her knees and sobbed. I waved slowly, even though he couldn't possibly see me, and whispered, "Good-bye, Sirius."
*** ***
I was back in my bed in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. It was dark and no one but me was there. I could hear sounds of the Gryffindor Common Room down below. I rose out of bed. I was wearing regular clothes and I was the same age I was when I entered Godric's Hollow with Lily.
I opened the door and headed down the stairs. I saw Lily heading down the stairs as well from the girls' dorms. She looked up at me. "James?"
"Lily?"
"What are we doing here? Weren't we in Godric's Hollow since Monday?"
"Let's go investigate," I said, taking her by the hand. We headed down the stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room.
The place was crammed with students, all alive and full of energy. A few, like a pudgy boy who had Olivia's body type but Frank's features, although softer, struggled over homework assignment. The boy muttered darkly, "I hate Potions." Some were lounging around, like an Indian girl and her companion, who was saying, "I really like that song by the Weird Sisters, what is it?" The Indian girl replied, "Hum a few bars." Most were laughing and playing games, like a couple consisting of a red-haired boy and bushy-haired girl playing chess. The girl made a move. "Check," she said smugly. The boy made a move. "Checkmate. I win again." A boy was reading Flying with the Cannons beside them. The boy reading snickered. "Oh, like you win all the time," the girl snapped.
Suddenly, everyone froze. Lily and I looked around us madly. "What is going on?"
"This is the Hogwarts that Harry, when he's old, will remember," a voice said. We whirled around to find out who was speaking but everyone but us was frozen.
"Who's there?" Lily demanded.
We heard a book being shut closed with a loud bang. We spun towards the sound. The boy who had been reading Flying with the Cannons placed the book in his lap and smiled at us. The boy had green eyes behind his glasses and black hair that stuck up everywhere. He was dressed in Hogwarts robe and his wand was in his pocket.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Who am I really or whose form am I taking?" the boy asked.
"What does it matter whose form you're taking?" Lily wondered.
"Well, it matters a lot. The boy that I look like is Harry Potter at the age of fifteen. And yes, I mean Harry Potter who is your son. As I said, this is the Hogwarts that he will remember. As all nostalgic memories, it's not quite accurate. See that blond boy with that camera? He looks about eleven there but in reality, he will be fourteen when he is the age I am taking. Harry will always think of him as some bright-eyed annoying little kid. See those three red-haired boys over there? By the time those twins reach that age, the older one, Percy, will have already left Hogwarts. So, this isn't quite accurate but it is what Harry will think of when he looks back."
"Who are you really?"
He stood and replied calmly, "I am Harold James Potter, late father of James Harold Potter, late grandfather of Harry James Potter."
"Father?" I gasped.
"Yes, James. According the rules of Heaven, I can't appear in my true to life form so I have to take the form of another. Since this concerns Harry, I thought it would be appropriate to be him for this."
"Heaven has rules for dreams?" Lily asked.
"Yes, and even paperwork. They don't let just anyone provide dreams to the living, especially to living relatives. We also can't reveal too much, that's why dreams really vague. It's against the rules to say more than we promised."
"What will happen if you break that rule?"
"Your memory of the dream will be erased and I will be forbidden to ever use a dream to communicate again. They do not take cheating lightly." My father smiled and suggested, "Come. There isn't much time." He snapped his fingers.
*** ***
Suddenly, we were outside by the lake. A huge Grim-like dog was running furiously towards us. His muzzle and back were bleeding, his blood glistened in the full moonlight. He would stop occasionally and look into the grass. "Padfoot?"
"That is Sirius," my father replied.
"What is he looking for?" Lily asked.
"I can not tell you. I can tell you that we are looking at an event that has a high chance of occurring in June of the year 1994, thirteen years from now," my father explained. He pointed off into the distance, to Padfoot's left and right. "Look at what's coming."
We gasped. Dozens upon dozens of dementors were gliding over to him. Padfoot didn't see them, he was intent on finding whatever it was he wanted in the grass. Slowly, he stopped and shook his head madly as if trying to clear his head. He did it again. Finally, he looked up and turned his head to one side and the other. His eyes went wide with fright. The dementors were coming in quickly. Padfoot began to whine and yelp, frozen to the spot. If dogs could scream, he would have been doing it.
We could hear the sound of two people running towards the mass of dementors and Padfoot. Suddenly, in mid-yelp, Padfoot changed into Sirius. Lily screamed and I nearly fell over from shock.
Sirius looked like he was dead. His face was slashed, like Padfoot's muzzle, and he had a black eye but that wasn't the worst of it. His face, usually so full of vigor, was pale and shadowed. The skin was stretched tight over his skull as if he hadn't eaten in years. His hands were skeletal and his hair was a dirty, tangled mess that fell to his elbows. His eyes were the most frightening. They were hollow, like the windows of an abandoned house. He was a living corpse, his body was breathing but his soul was gone. I gasped when I realized what he was wearing: dirty, tattered grey Azkaban robes.
"No," I muttered, shaking my head madly. "This isn't real! This isn't true!"
"I'm afraid so, James. Sirius Black will be thrown into Azkaban without trial and remain there with dementors around him day and night with no friendly visitors for twelve years. He will escape in July of 1993," my father answered.
"Why?!" My father looked away, his face pained. "You can't say," I muttered sadly.
Whatever Sirius had planned to do when in his human form, he suddenly realized he couldn't do it. He fell to all fours, his hands hiding his head. He moaned, "Nooo... nooo... please..." The two runners came through the hole between the two dementors. One was the bushy-haired girl who lost the chess game in the memory Common Room, the other was Harry Potter. Both appeared to be around thirteen or fourteen years old. They were badly injured as well, as if both had been in a fight. More dementors closed in, coming from the forest as well, blocking the way back. Harry spun around, taking in the sight. He went pale.
"Hermione, think of something happy!" he yelled at the bushy-haired girl as he raised his wand. He began to chant, "Expecto patronum! Expecto patronum!" Sirius shuddered, rolled over, and lay still. He had fainted. Harry noticed and shouted, "Expecto patronum! Hermione, help me! Expecto patronum!"
"Expecto..." Hermione whispered, "expecto... expecto..." The dementors closed in, barely ten feet from them. They were forming a wall.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry yelled, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" There was a thin wisp of silver mist that came out of his wand. At that moment, Hermione's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed. "Expecto... expecto patronum..."
Harry fell to his knees. "Expecto patronum!" he gasped. Another feeble mist appeared which halted the dementor nearest him but it moved to brush it away
"No... no..." Harry gasped. "He's innocent... expecto... expecto patronum..." The dementor nearest him lowered its hood.
Lily screamed, "NOT HARRY! NOT HARRY! PLEASE NOT HARRY!"
The Patronus died as Harry looked up at the dementor with scabs for eyes and a wide, sucking mouth.
"Now," my father said calmly, "I want to turn your attention away from this Harry and look on the other shore. Don't worry, he'll make it."
Reluctantly, we turned around. I could hear Harry whispering, "Expecto patronum..." repeatedly. On the other shore, there was nothing. Suddenly, a figure jumped out from behind a bush, snapped his wand arm up, and he pointed in the direction of the dementors and shouted, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
A glowing stag galloped out of his wand, across the lake and crashed through the mass of dementors. One dementor who appeared to be trying to Kiss him dropped Harry. Harry, barely conscious, looked across the lake. The stag galloped back to the caster. The caster reached out as if to touch it. It vanished.
"My Patronus," I whispered. "That's my Patronus! My Patronus is Prongs! We're alive, Lily! I saved Harry!"
"Well, yes and no," my father interrupted. "First, how are you sure that you cast it?"
"Well, I know my Patronus and that figure looked like me," I answered. My father snapped his fingers.
*** ***
We were now outside Hagrid's hut. Hermione and Harry were crouched in the bushes with a hippogriff, of all things.
"This is about fifteen minutes before the event you just saw. Now, here's where it gets confusing. Hermione and Harry have just used a Time Turner to go back in time. They've been sitting here for three hours now. So, they're going to be attacked by dementors in a few minutes and at the same time, not getting attacked by dementors," my father explained.
"There goes Lupin," Hermione whispered. "He's transforming..."
"Hermione!" Harry said suddenly. "We've got to move!"
"We mustn't, I keep telling you..."
"Not to interfere! Lupin's going to run into the forest, right at us!"
Hermione gasped. "Quick!" she moaned, dashing to untie the hippogriff. "Quick! Where are we going to go? Where are we going to hide? The dementors will be coming any moment..."
"Back to Hagrid's!" Harry said. "It's empty now... come on!"
They ran with the hippogriff cantering behind them. As they moved, we were pulled along. I noticed that my father's feet didn't touch the ground. He was floating. I heard a werewolf howl behind us.
The cabin came into sight. Harry skidded to the door, wrenched it open, and Hermione and the hippogriff flashed past him; Harry threw himself in after them and bolted the door. A boarhound barked loudly.
"Shh, Fang, it's us!" Hermione said, hurrying over and scratching his ears. "That was really close!" she said to Harry.
Harry looked out the window. "I think I'd better go outside again, you know," Harry said slowly. "I can't see what's going on... we won't know when it's time..." Hermione looked up with a suspicious expression. "I'm not going to try and interfere," Harry said quickly. "But if we don't see what's going on, how're we going to know when it's time to rescue Sirius?"
"Well... okay, then... I'll wait with Buckbeak... but Harry, be careful... there's a werewolf out there... and the dementors..."
Harry stepped outside again and edged around the cabin. I could hear Padfoot yelping in the distance. Harry stared out across the lake. Harry ran to the opposite shore and ducked behind a bush, watching the dementors. Harry's Patroni glimmered and faded.
Lily and I looked around madly for me to show up but my father remained focused on Harry. "Come on!" Harry muttered, staring about. "Where are you? Dad, come on..."
No one came. We all looked across the lake and one dementor was lowering his hood. In the bush, Harry's eyes went wide. He flung himself out from behind the bush and pulled out his wand. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" he yelled.
A large glowing stag burst forth and galloped across the lake, knocking the dementors aside until the dementors scattered and left. The Patronus turned and cantered back to Harry. Slowly, it bowed its antlered head.
"Prongs," Harry, Lily, and I whispered. Harry stretched trembling fingertips towards the creature and it vanished.
"Now," my father said calmly. I noticed that time had stopped as Hermione stopped in mid-step as she dragged the hippogriff behind her. "We all know that..."
"Father," I interrupted, "why do Harry and I share the same Patronus form?"
My father paused and looked at me. "The Patronus is powered by happy memories but its form comes from what we aspire to be. The reason that Prongs is your Patronus is because you always wanted that strong, quiet dignity that Prongs seemed to possess when you became him. You always lamented that you were too weak-willed, not strong enough or brave enough. Even now."
"How do you...?"
"Now that I am dead, I know everything." He smiled, his eyes full of pride. "All the while, you failed to realize that you already have these qualities. Your act of the most bravery is coming soon. You have become Prongs, James. The strengths that were exclusively reserved for your Animagus form are now present in all aspect of your life." My father looked at the still Harry with eyes full of affection and love. "Your son, when he grows up, will hear of what kind of man you are now. And his highest goal will to be just like you. You wanted to be Prongs and you are now Prongs. Therefore, Harry also will want to be Prongs, through Prongs, you. And trust me, he will."
"So, his Patronus is James, in reality," Lily whispered.
My father nodded. "Now, as I was saying. We know that the Patronus Charm is very difficult for a thirteen-year-old to do, no matter how talented. So, how did he get the ability? We also know that the Patronus is a protection. Patronus even means 'protection'. It is protection against dark creatures. It's most useful against dementors which cause misery to anyone around them. They can even take your soul. They are horrifying creatures, the most vile things to walk the earth, without a touch of goodness in them." My father looked at us and asked in a stressed tone, "What does this remind you of?"
I shrugged but Lily gasped, "It's so simple! Why didn't I see it before?"
My father smiled and slowly nodded. "Now, there isn't much time. I love you all and I'm watching over you."
He snapped his fingers.
To Be Continued...
Author's Notes: The chapter title "Huis Clos" is the title of a French play. It's pronounced WE-clo and it literally means "closed door". The English translation is called "No Exit". It's by Sartre. Basically, the point is that there are three characters who are dead and they are in Hell. They have no connection to each other. They are locked in this one room in Hell and they have to remain there for the rest of eternity. It's a really interesting play. Basically, James and Lily are sort of in the same situation, so that's why I picked that for this chapter. Practically most of the dream with Harry and Hermione are word for word from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban so they're not my words. The scene where Sirius talks to the Potters when he can't see them anymore actually choked me up. I don't know why! It really upset me! Oh, "Bohemian Rhapsody" really is written by Queen. By Freddie Mercury actually. I got the lyrics from . Now, I didn't title this fic "Life Had Just Begun" because of the song. Halfway through writing this, I was listening to the CD with that song on it and I realized something really weird. Basically, even though I'm sure Freddie Mercury didn't intend this, this song could be about the Marauders. The first part with "Is this the real life... Any way the wind blows, doesn't matter to me, to me" could be about James since he's dead and he can't affect anything. The next part "Mama, just killed a man... I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" could be about Peter, since he basically killed the Potters and the whole "Mama" thing reminded me of Peter's mom who received his finger. The next part "I see a little silhouetto of a man... Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me" could be about Remus since he discusses how he's poor, "this monstrosity", and "let me go", which could be about his memories of his dead or as good as dead friends haunting him. The next part "So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye... Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here" could be about Sirius, thinking about Peter betraying him and his escape from Azakban. The last part "Nothing really matters... any way the wind blows" is James again, reminding that he is still dead and is separate from all this. I think way too hard about these things and you'll probably never hear that song the same way again. Anyway, I included it because it foreshadows Peter's betrayal, so that's why it's there. This will definitely be the second to last chapter. The next one is the last and our story will be done! Please review! Use the button or e-mail at destinyplot@lycos.com! See ya later!