Okey dokey. I'm sure that you all know about the Lord of the Rings (why else would you be reading this?), and hopefully you know enough about the Xmen to understand my story. But for those who are Xmen-ly challenged, I have written a short description for you below. If you do know about Xmen, you may either enjoy this piece of my brilliance, or skip it and read the rest of my brilliance, your choice. Hey, y'all, R+R! The Xmen are all mutants with an additional "X" gene in their genetic make- ups, thus the name "Xmen", though Xpeople would be less sexist. Each one has a special talent or feature, thanks to the "X" gene, which I have listed below. I will add more as needed. SHADOWCAT: can pass through solids SPYKE: spikes grow out of his body JEAN GREY: telepathic (reads minds), telekinetic (moves stuff with her mind) CYCLOPS: laser vision (can I get any more specific?) PROFESSOR XAVIER: telepathic, strongest mind in the universe, founder of the Xmen WOLVERINE: metal claws, much older than he looks NIGHTCRAWLER: teleporting HANK: gorilla-man ICE MAN: freezes stuff, duh! STORM: creates whatever weather she wants MAGNETO: attracts metal things magnetically TOAD: acts like one, moves like one, eats like one (gross!) Okay. I'm tired of explaining stuff to you. My story begins NOW! (Scroll down!) *~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~* One day in the Shire, Professor Xavier-I mean Gandalf the Grey was riding into Hobbiton on his wheelchair-I mean his horse and fireworks cart. He was in the middle of singing his favorite song, when he was surprised by and unusually short Shadowcat (oops, that's Frodo!) gliding up through the floor of the cart. They exchange "Hallo, dear Frodo!" and "How's Bilbo?" and all that jazz. Then they're attacked by an army of vicious, curly- haired computer viruses-oops, sorry, they're only little hobbit kids who are bored out of their wits and want Professor Xavier--Gandalf to set off highly dangerous explosives. Gandalf and Frodo, their adrenaline levels going back to normal, smile at the naïve little hobbit children, and Gandalf decides to put himself, Frodo, and 15 little hobbit children in danger of fire. Then Frodo, becoming aware of the danger that he was in this close to Gandalf with fireworks, gave Gandalf a hurried goodbye, and passes through the wall of the cart before hurriedly running away. Gandalf continued riding his cart (which was still filled with numerous, dangerous explosives) up to Bag End. On his way, he spent lots of time muttering to himself indiscernibly over absurdly loud Shire theme music. Eventually, the Prof-the Istari (hee hee) ended up in front of the home of Bilbo Baggins. After ignoring a very rude sign and a very rude comment from Bag End's inhabitant, Gandalf asks a stupid question and the door opens. The cause is a, hel-lo, can we say short fashion emergency? It's Bilbo, of course. They exchange a hug (hmmmm, methinks it looks a mite suspicious) and too many boring pleasantries (which, luckily for you, I can't remember, and therefore cannot write down) outside, before they go inside together. Then they talk about food for several minutes (a hobbit's favorite subject) blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, Gandalf (being the rude guest that he is) created a huge dent in an eave (so there are eaves at Bag End-will use that later), broke several chandelier bulbs and shuffled through his host's private documents. Then he snuck up behind Bilbo and surprised him ("Oh the tragedy!" thought Bilbo, "I almost dropped my cheese!"). Bilbo and Gandalf carry on a veeery boring, thankfully short, conversation. Then Bilbo is once again surprised, this time by a short old lady who resembled a mushroom (Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, who, for all I know, could in fact be a mushroom). At this point, Bilbo is having a really rough day, so he goes and takes a nap. (That's my theory anyway. There's a scene change, so for all you know, I'm correct.) Several hours later, Bilbo and Gandalf are shown filling their lungs with excess amounts of tar and nicotine. In other words, they're smoking pipeweed. They make several comments on the pipeweed, and then decide that it was time for a "Let's See Who Can Make the Most Interesting Thing Out of Their Pipeweed contest. Naturally, Gandalf wins. Professor Xa-Gandalf seems to have a built in affinity with flammable material, doesn't he? "Gandalf, my friend," says Bilbo, taking another draw from the pipe. "This will be a night to remember." *~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~* *hee hee, cliffhanger ending* Okay peeps: Read and Review..NOW! (just click the little box at the bottom of the page)