A Time to Grow Up
Rating: PG-13Not mine ~ they're just borrowing my head for a playground! :0)
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Concurrent with Max and Woody's conversation at the Pogue. . .
After I left the Pogue I drove straight to Nige's place. I grabbed the door as someone was leaving and ran up the stairs. When I got to his door, I pounded on it.
"Nigel! Open the door! Now!"
The door swung open, and Nigel and Hector just looked at me. My tear-streaked face told them something had happened. Nigel quickly ushered me inside.
"Jordan, what is it? What's wrong?" Nigel was concerned. He'd seen me lose it before, but tears were something new.
"Woody." I couldn't hide the misery in my voice no matter how I tried.
"What about him? Did he hurt you?" Hector looked at me and I knew what he was thinking.
"Not like you're thinking. He. . .he. . .he said. . ." I couldn't even say it again.
"He what, Jordan? What did he say?" Nigel was holding my upper arms and trying to look into my eyes.
"Oh my God." Hector correctly judged that there was only one other thing that could have me this upset. "He played the 'mother card' didn't he?"
"The what?" Nigel was confused. I looked at Hec and nodded my head.
"Oh my God. That little. . ." I could tell Hector was about to lose it. "And after I bothered trying to save his ass in LA. . ."
"Excuse me, would someone please explain what happened? I'm a bit in the dark here." I looked at Nigel then and realized that he was clueless. I put out a hand to try and calm Hector, then took a deep breath and said a quick prayer that my voice would work.
"I told him we never meant for him to get hurt and I was starting to explain about the 'game' we always played with guys in LA." I stopped, swallowed hard, and took another shaky breath. "He looked at me, right at me, and said, 'didn't your mother ever teach you what good intentions pave?'"
"Oh my God." Nigel was speechless. "Why would he. . .?"
"To hurt me. To hurt me as much as I hurt him."
"Come on, baby. Let's get out of here." Hector grabbed my keys from my hand and was moving towards the door.
"Hector, no! What are you gonna. . .?" I didn't even want to think about it.
"You and me are gonna have a little chat. A chat I should have had with you a long time ago." I just looked at him. For once in my life I had no idea what he was going to do.
"But what about Nigel?" I didn't want to just leave him after all his kindness.
"Don't worry about me love. I'll be fine." His eyes were trying their hardest to convince me of his sincerity. "Jordan, it's ok. Go."
Reluctantly I followed Hector out the door and to my Explorer. The sky was still spitting rain ~ still trying to decide if it wanted to pour or just sprinkle. I got in the passenger side and waited for Hector to tear into me.
"Jordan, baby, I know what he said hurt you. But I don't think he meant it."
"Yeah he did."
"Alright, maybe he did at the time. But baby girl, anyone with eyes can see how much he loves you."
"Ya think?"
"Yeah. I do. He's hurting and he unconsciously lashed out at you. Baby, don't hold a grudge against the guy. Give him a chance."
"Why should I?"
"Because you love him too."
"Excuse me?"
"Chica, I've known you for a while. And I've seen you through. . ." I could tell he was afraid to finish the sentence.
"The second darkest place I've been in my life?"
"Yeah." He looked at me sadly for a minute. "I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner."
"Hey, lucky for me he had trouble getting. . . Never mind. You stopped it, and that's what matters." I reached over and patted his leg reassuringly, trying to give him a smile.
"Does he know about it?"
"Woody?"
"Yeah."
"No! Why would I. . .?"
"Jordan, baby, I've seen you go through guys like nothing. There's a different look in your eyes when it comes to Woody. And a different tone in your voice. I don't know how he's done it, but he's gotten inside your head and inside your heart."
I just sat there staring at him. How did Hector know me better than I knew myself.
"Baby, you've got to talk to him. Tell him everything." I must have looked like I was about to have a massive panic attack, because Hec reached over and hugged me close for a second. "You don't have to tell him everything right away. But baby, he needs to know."
"But nothing. . ."
"Jordan, I'm not talking about diseases or anything here. I know the lowlife scum didn't get that far. I'm talking about what's in here." He jabbed a finger at my temple. "And what's in here." And another jab, this time at my chest in the vicinity of my heart. "You can't keep people locked out forever."
"But what if he. . ."
"If he leaves you for something that wasn't your fault, that's his problem. Jordan, it's time for you to grow up. You act like you're so tough, that nothing can hurt you. Baby, you can't live all closed up like that. I know life has hurt you. I know you didn't get dealt a fair hand. Hell, losing your mother at 10. . .I can't even imagine. But you can't let that cripple you for the rest of your life. Your mother wouldn't have wanted you to live all closed up like this. You've got to open up to someone! I wish to God I could be the person you'd let in ~ and I know a whole shipload full of guys who feel the same way. But the bottom line is, Woody's the one who's penetrated your heart. And I'm not going to sit by and watch you screw up what could be the best thing in your life ~ the one person who could be, no I take that back, who in all likelihood IS your soul mate. I will not do it. If it means I have to force you to talk with him at gunpoint. . . Ok, maybe I won't go that far. But baby girl, there's a time when we all have to grow up. And for you that time is now!"
Hec started the engine and pulled away from the curb, tires squealing as he went.
"Where are we going?"
"We're gonna start at your dad's bar. I've got a wild hunch that Woody might have gone back there looking for you to apologize."
I flopped back in my seat, not at all pleased with the turn of events. But. . .maybe he did have a point.
And then we got to the Pogue. Hector let me out and went to park the car. I was sort of surprised that he trusted me to go in, but at some point on the way over I fully decided he was right. Woody had squirmed his way into my heart. And after everything he'd done for me he deserved to know the truth.
I saw Woody at the bar with Dad leaning over talking to him. They didn't see me come in. I couldn't hear their words, but I knew from the look on their faces. . .I knew what Dad was telling him.
Hector came in behind me and stopped.
"Dad's telling him."
"You have supersonic ears now too?"
"No, Hec. Look at their faces." He did.
"Oh. I see what you mean."
"So why should I even bother?"
"Jordan. . ." I looked at him, trying to be defiant. But I could tell it wasn't working. "Baby, I don't care if he reads the police report out in LA. He needs to hear it from you. But more than that, you need to tell it."
"But. . ."
"Baby, it's not going to go away. I know you. Those nightmares aren't all about your mother. I know why you're afraid of thunderstorms. I was there. I know. But the man who needs to know doesn't have a clue."
"Ok." I could tell he wasn't going to let me get out of it, so I gave in. Maybe he was right. Maybe it would be easier if I told someone. If I told Woody.
I tried to decide what to do ~ should I walk over there or say something first? Then Woody gave me my opening. He'd looked at Dad and started to ask, "Do you think I should. . .?"
I grabbed the chance, somewhat to my surprise. "I think you should wait right there, farm boy."
I walked down the steps and over to the stool where Woody sat. Tentatively I put a hand on his shoulder to ensure his eyes on me.
"I think we need to talk, Woody. Please?" His eyes were full of questions. He wanted some kind of reassurance. And yet wanted to comfort me ~ to make everything alright. If only he could. . . "There's some. . .some stuff that you need to hear. From my perspective."
I looked at Dad, trying to let him know that I knew he'd told Woody, but that it was ok. I understood why. I don't know if he got it, but he held my gaze and slowly nodded.
Woody just looked at me for a minute, then he finally acquiesced. "Alright. Where do you want to go?"
I held out my hand and waited. Woody looked at it, then in my eyes, and finally put his hand in mine. I looked around trying to find a table. There it was. The table in the back corner that I loved so much. Slowly, I led him to it, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to say. And I said a quick prayer that he'd understand.
. . .to be continued. . .