Disclaimer: Why do I feel like I'm repeating myself? I do not now, nor do I ever plan to, own Cowboy Bebop, Heaven, Hell, St. Peter, God, the Devil, or any such stuff. Customer Service belongs to the Customer Service people.

Spike stood in the middle of nowhere, staring at the invisible, yet very distinct line that marked the end of Heaven and the beginnig of Hell. The grassy field he was standing in quite abruptly transformed into a black, concrete-seeming void of a pasture after a certain point.

He surveyed his surroundings, looking back and seeing the sudden end to the road he had been traveling and scanning the greenery that encircled him. Then, he noticed something that hadn't been there before: a large iron door.

He walked up to it and circled it slowly. There were no walls around it, and nothing behind it. "Hmmm" he said, scratching his head, confused. Then he sighed. "The more I see of Heaven, the more it scares me," he said to himself. Then he shrugged. "Oh well. I guess the best way to figure out just what the hell this thing is is to open it."

Grabbing the large, intricately-patterned door handle, he began to tug on it, finding that it was extremely heavy. Suddenly, he jumped back, startled, as St. Peter's voice boomed, "DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!!!"

Spike, who was now sprawled on his back in the grass, sat up and held his head. "Holy shit, Pete, don't scare me like that!" He shook his head to rid himself of the dizziness that had resulted from his collision with the ground. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

There was no trace of amusement in Peter's voice as he said sternly, "You must never again attempt to open that door. Do you hear me? Never."

"What is it? And why not?" Spike asked the air.

"That is the door that leads to the accurséd Realm of the Havenless Souls. It is the dwelling place for the Redead: souls that have been killed again even in the afterlives," the saint explained monotonously.

"What do those, uh, souls do?"

"Do you know that legend that Hades is simply a large room with a multitude of spirits revolving endlessly in circles?"

"Yeah, I think so" Spike was feeling very uneasy at this point.

"Well, that's what the Redead are condemned to do for eternity."

"Oh, so they just go around in circles forever," Spike said stupidly.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Peter said, obviously taken aback by Spike's amazing grasp of the blatantly obvious.

"Well, what happens if I open that door?"

The sounds of uncomfortable shifting came from the heavens. "Well, I don't exactly knowI've never tried it and I've never been allowed to witness the souls entering it. I'm just the Customer Service guy. I tell people where to go and how to get there."

Spike's shoulders slumped. "Oh, some help YOU are" he said sarcastically.

"Hey, I help!" Peter said indignantly, a trace of hurt feelings in his voice. "At least I was able to stop you from possibly being sucked in and forced to become an aimless wraith until God-knows-when. Or, rather, God-doesn't-know-when."

"God-doesn't-know-when?"

"I asked him once how long forever will last, and he said he didn't know," Peter said, shrugging.

"Oh" And just when I think I've met ONE sane person in this world he thought sullenly.

"Just don't open the door, okay?"

"All right. You can go back to your church thingy now."

St. Peter suddenly got huffy. "It's a cathedral.. A cathedral. Got it?" Then he disappeared as clearly as if Spike had seen him walk out a door.

"Some people are so touchy" Spike said resignedly as he turned back to face the border.

Julia, who was still watching Spike, had been anxiously anticipating the moment when he would cross over to Hell. She still remembered what Peter had said would happen to him physically once he entered the land of the sinful dead. "Spikebe careful" she whispered.

"I'll be careful, Julia Don't worry," Spike said to the air, catching her completely off guard.

"You canhear me?" she asked, startled. He didn't respond. She sighed. He just knows me too well

"Well, here goes nothing," he said, then crossed the line. As soon as his foot touched the other side, he screamed. Invisible knives stabbed at him and tore him to pieces. The hot air filled his lungs with fire. As he fell to his knees and flung his hands out to support himself, they blistered before his eyes, which he had to shut quickly because of the scorching heat that rushed into them.

"SPIKE!" Julia screamed, her eyes watering as she watched her love writhe in agony. "Spike, come back! Don't go any further!"

He tried to get up and put his forearm in front of his eyes. Staggering back and forth, he walked forward, gasping for air and feeling his feet blister through his shoes. It was exactly like what St. Peter had told him would happen.

Then, he fell forward, and as he started to lose consciousness, he whispered to himself, "Dammit, I didn't make it to Faye" Then, he fell to the floor, seemingly lifeless.

"SPIKE!!!" Julia screamed again, letting the agony she felt show in her words. "Get up, Spike! Please, get up! Don't be dead, please!" Then, she realized what his last word had been

"Faye" she said, murder defining her every implication. "I'll kill you for this"

A/N: I'm still thinking about whether or not to post the next chapter. Should I? =P Please R/R, and I still say that all flamers will be barbecued.