I am SO EXTREMELY SORRY that it took me so long to get this chapter up. I had most of it sitting on my comp, but I just couldn't finish it. I could barely bring myself to look at it. It was horrible! But I'm okay now. And I absolutely have to thank my aunt, who sent the cd that broke my writers block. THANK YOU!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.
Chance
Chapter 6
It was a couple days after they had both gone to the club, and Dib was over at Zim's base with Pip, who had nearly doubled in height.
"Zim, are you sure she's supposed to grow so fast?"
Zim sighed.
"For the hundreth time, yes! She's going through her initial growth spurt. If she's lucky she'll still grow a couple inches before it slows to what you would consider an average speed."
Dib nodded and sat down on a nearby chair in one of Zim's larger labs.
"So, what was the other reason you called me over for?"
Zim blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"You said there were two reasons you wanted me to come over. One was to check on Pip, but you never stated the other."
"Oh. Yes, I had been doing some comparisons of Irken culture to human culture, and I found something that confused me."
Dib smirked.
"What, besides the fact that humans can be so completely moronic?"
Zim pulled a chair over towards Dib and sat.
"No, that I figured out a while ago. The intelligent ones seek out a meaningful relationship and only have as many offspring as they can support. The stupid ones, however, breed like rabbits."
Dib laughed.
"Sounds good to me. So, what was so confusing?"
"Well, I found that humans generally look down upon same-sex relationships, and those that are involved in such often get hurt."
Dib grinned a little.
"Yeah, that happens. I take it Irkens don't have the same problem?"
Zim shook his head.
"No. Of course, many Irkens never have relationships, because their work consumes so much of their lives. It never really mattered, since we don't require mating couples to keep the population up."
"I see. And I'm guessing that you want to know why I wasn't all freaked out that I was kissing a guy, right?"
Zim nodded, and Dib couldn't help but chuckle.
"If you haven't noticed, you're not the only one who beats me up. Besides, my dad and my sister both know and are fine with it, and that's all the approval I need. You know what my opinion of the general public is."
Zim nodded again and Dib sighed.
"Look, if you're thinking I'm at all scared, I'm not. I've put up with those morons most of my life already. If anything, having you to back me up will make it easier. Now, agree or I'll be forced to expose you to the world."
Zim grinned.
"Yes, I can just see the headlines. Gay alien discovered!"
This caused both of the boys to start laughing hard enough that they had to use each other as support, for fear of falling off their chairs.
Once they calmed down they decided to go upstairs for a snack and to make sure Pip and Gir hadn't destroyed too much of the house yet. Zim grabbed two cans of Poop and tossed one to Dib before sitting down on the couch next to him. They drank in silence, watching Pip and Gir chase the pig, which Gir had apparently tied a small rocket to. After a moment of watching this, Dib began laughing.
"What's so funny, Dib-human?"
Dib grinned and looked at Zim.
"I just thought of an old saying; When pigs fly."
It took a moment, but Zim got it and began laughing along with Dib.
"Dib, that must be one of the stupidest sayings I've heard yet."
Dib just laughed.
~~~~
The next day at skool, Dib sighed.
"You know, it's kinda nice that I can leave Pip at you place. She was starting to get heavy."
Zim just rolled his eyes.
"Lazy human."
Dib just grinned more.
"Oh, hey, I've been meaning to ask you, is it normal for smeets to just start speaking like she did?"
"Yeah, pretty much. I know I did."
"Okay, I was just curious, cuz human babies take months to be able to say just a couple words, and Pip's saying whole sentances...and then some."
Zim smirked.
"Yes, you told me of her little cursing problem. She definitely takes after her mother."
Dib arched an eyebrow.
"Really?"
Zim laughed at the memory.
"I cursed in front of her once, and that one word was all she would say for weeks."
Dib laughed with Zim.
"Hm, guess I should be glad Pip at least has variety."
Zim sighed.
"Yes. And then there was the pak phase..."
"The what?"
"When Det first learned how to use some of the equiptment in her pack, she used it for everything, which became rather dangerous."
Dib laughed.
"Will you listen to us? We sound like a couple of old women comparing kids or something."
"Wonderful...And speaking of old women...Well female anyway. I think."
Dib snickered, following Zim's gaze, which was currently focused on their decrepit teacher. Zim turned back to Dib.
"How old to you think she is, anyway?"
"Well, she has to be at least 90, most likely older. I don't know how much it matters though. I'm beginning to beleive she's immortal."
"Yes, like one of those vampire things, but she lives off of the hopelessness of children."
Dib had to keep from laughing too loudly.
"Y'know, you might be right."
~~~~
After skool, Zim and Dib headed to the base so Dib could pick up Pip and some nutrient drinks. Unfortunately, as soon as they were within sight, Dib and Zim both noticed the rather large fire consuming almost half of the house. As they were running, Zim yelled into a remote communicator.
"Computer! I thought I gave you direct orders to KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM HAPPENING!!"
"Well sorry, but even I have a hard time keeping track of those...things..."
"Well you could at least put out the fire!"
"I'm working on it! Those creatures keep causing more!"
Zim growled in frustration and used his spider legs to get there before Dib.
By the time Dib had reached the house, even though he was running full-out, Zim had already rescued the slightly charred Pip and Gir, as well as some nutrient drinks. The remaining fires were quickly put out.
"Computer, how long until damage is repaired?"
"A day, at least. You could still stay here, but it smells horrible. Like burned things."
Zim sighed.
"Wonderful."
Dib took Pip from Zim.
"Y'know, you could always stay at my place. We have a guest room, and there's probably something in the lab that could restrain these two, or at least keep Pip away from Gir so she can't reactivate him again."
Zim nodded, turning the hyperactive robot off.
"Alright. Computer, I will be back tomorrow. Alert me if anything goes horribly wrong."
The computer replied with something that sounded remarkably like a snicker.
"Suuure."
Zim simply rolled his eyes and began walking in the direction of Dib's house.
~~~~
When the two boys walked in Gaz barely glanced at them before returning to her GS2. Dib shrugged and led Zim up to the guest bedroom, which was next to his. Dib coughed when he opened the door, and Zim quickly backed away from the large dust cloud that had appeared. Dib sighed.
"Obviously, we don't have many people stay over. Well, it oughta be all set up. Watch out for genetically altered rats."
Zim looked suspiciously at the dark doorway, then at Dib.
"You truly are insane, aren't you? I am not going in that room, especially not first and by myself. You probably have something set up in there to capture me."
Dib contemplated smacking his head against the wall.
"Zim, you're already in my house. Had I wanted to catch you, I would have tried already. Now, I have to go cook dinner before Gaz kills me. Just go in there, get set up, and then you can come downstairs. Oh yeah, before I forget, is there any human food you can eat?"
Slightly bewildered, Zim nodded.
"I have found ramen to be edible."
Dib grinned.
"Good choice. Now go get set up."
Dib immediatly turned and ran downstairs, and Zim could hear Gaz threatening him to get dinner ready or die. Zim chuckled, then looked at the doorway to the guest room, which was still unnervingly black, and little swirls of dust were still creeping out of the room. Zim slowly took a step towards it before he heard a quiet, squeaky voice.
"Please, do come in. We are so very hungry, and you do look just ever so delicious."
"YAAAAAAGH!!!"
Zim bolted down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Dib had just turned to see what the screaming was. Zim ran headfirst into Dib, knocking the human to the floor, Zim huddled in a little ball on his chest. Dib sighed.
"Zim, I'm trying to cook. What is it?"
Zim looked at Dib with wide, frightened eyes.
"The...the rats...the rats wanna...eat me..."
Dib sighed.
"Is that all? Gaz! I though you said you fed them this week!"
From the other room, Gaz yelled back.
"I did! It's not my fault they're spoiled! You're the one who's always feeding them the goats!"
"But those dogs just look too small to feed them!"
By now Zim had gotten up, and he punched Dib squarely in the gut.
"You were going to put me in a room with rats that eat goats!? Like little, mousy chupacabras!?"
Dib rolled his eyes and checked to make sure the ramen wasn't burned.
"They wouldn't really eat you, Zim. They just like to mess around."
"I refuse to sleep in there."
"What, you think I'm going to let you sleep in my room?"
"Well, if that's the only other place I can sleep in this insane place."
Gaz yelled at the two boys from the other room.
"Shut up! You're gonna make me lose! Dib, Zim will sleep with you! No more arguing!"
Zim blinked and Dib sighed.
"Fine, fine. Dinners ready anyways."
~~~~
That night, Dib was laying in his bed and Zim was laying in a sleeping bag on the floor when there was a scratching noise on the door. Zim squeaked and curled up into a ball in the corner, while Dib sighed and opened the door. Outside, there was a large rat standing on it's hind legs, with a small cabbage attached to one of his front paws.
Dib yawned
"What is it?"
The rat held the cabbage up closer to Dib.
"Cabby can't sleep."
Dib sighed and sat down on the floor, then gave the cabbage a hug and kiss.
"There, can Cabby sleep now?"
The rat grinned and nodded, before scurrying off as fast as he could to the guest room.
Before Zim could comment, Dib glared at him.
"Don't say anything, Zim. Just get back to your bed and go to sleep."
~~~~~
If anyone can tell me where Cabby is from, I'll give you a cookie, and special mention the next chapter or so. Well, hope you liked this chapter and once again I am SO sorry it took so long to get this chap out, the next one will be out much sooner. Please review! I need them to keep writing!
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.
Chance
Chapter 6
It was a couple days after they had both gone to the club, and Dib was over at Zim's base with Pip, who had nearly doubled in height.
"Zim, are you sure she's supposed to grow so fast?"
Zim sighed.
"For the hundreth time, yes! She's going through her initial growth spurt. If she's lucky she'll still grow a couple inches before it slows to what you would consider an average speed."
Dib nodded and sat down on a nearby chair in one of Zim's larger labs.
"So, what was the other reason you called me over for?"
Zim blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"You said there were two reasons you wanted me to come over. One was to check on Pip, but you never stated the other."
"Oh. Yes, I had been doing some comparisons of Irken culture to human culture, and I found something that confused me."
Dib smirked.
"What, besides the fact that humans can be so completely moronic?"
Zim pulled a chair over towards Dib and sat.
"No, that I figured out a while ago. The intelligent ones seek out a meaningful relationship and only have as many offspring as they can support. The stupid ones, however, breed like rabbits."
Dib laughed.
"Sounds good to me. So, what was so confusing?"
"Well, I found that humans generally look down upon same-sex relationships, and those that are involved in such often get hurt."
Dib grinned a little.
"Yeah, that happens. I take it Irkens don't have the same problem?"
Zim shook his head.
"No. Of course, many Irkens never have relationships, because their work consumes so much of their lives. It never really mattered, since we don't require mating couples to keep the population up."
"I see. And I'm guessing that you want to know why I wasn't all freaked out that I was kissing a guy, right?"
Zim nodded, and Dib couldn't help but chuckle.
"If you haven't noticed, you're not the only one who beats me up. Besides, my dad and my sister both know and are fine with it, and that's all the approval I need. You know what my opinion of the general public is."
Zim nodded again and Dib sighed.
"Look, if you're thinking I'm at all scared, I'm not. I've put up with those morons most of my life already. If anything, having you to back me up will make it easier. Now, agree or I'll be forced to expose you to the world."
Zim grinned.
"Yes, I can just see the headlines. Gay alien discovered!"
This caused both of the boys to start laughing hard enough that they had to use each other as support, for fear of falling off their chairs.
Once they calmed down they decided to go upstairs for a snack and to make sure Pip and Gir hadn't destroyed too much of the house yet. Zim grabbed two cans of Poop and tossed one to Dib before sitting down on the couch next to him. They drank in silence, watching Pip and Gir chase the pig, which Gir had apparently tied a small rocket to. After a moment of watching this, Dib began laughing.
"What's so funny, Dib-human?"
Dib grinned and looked at Zim.
"I just thought of an old saying; When pigs fly."
It took a moment, but Zim got it and began laughing along with Dib.
"Dib, that must be one of the stupidest sayings I've heard yet."
Dib just laughed.
~~~~
The next day at skool, Dib sighed.
"You know, it's kinda nice that I can leave Pip at you place. She was starting to get heavy."
Zim just rolled his eyes.
"Lazy human."
Dib just grinned more.
"Oh, hey, I've been meaning to ask you, is it normal for smeets to just start speaking like she did?"
"Yeah, pretty much. I know I did."
"Okay, I was just curious, cuz human babies take months to be able to say just a couple words, and Pip's saying whole sentances...and then some."
Zim smirked.
"Yes, you told me of her little cursing problem. She definitely takes after her mother."
Dib arched an eyebrow.
"Really?"
Zim laughed at the memory.
"I cursed in front of her once, and that one word was all she would say for weeks."
Dib laughed with Zim.
"Hm, guess I should be glad Pip at least has variety."
Zim sighed.
"Yes. And then there was the pak phase..."
"The what?"
"When Det first learned how to use some of the equiptment in her pack, she used it for everything, which became rather dangerous."
Dib laughed.
"Will you listen to us? We sound like a couple of old women comparing kids or something."
"Wonderful...And speaking of old women...Well female anyway. I think."
Dib snickered, following Zim's gaze, which was currently focused on their decrepit teacher. Zim turned back to Dib.
"How old to you think she is, anyway?"
"Well, she has to be at least 90, most likely older. I don't know how much it matters though. I'm beginning to beleive she's immortal."
"Yes, like one of those vampire things, but she lives off of the hopelessness of children."
Dib had to keep from laughing too loudly.
"Y'know, you might be right."
~~~~
After skool, Zim and Dib headed to the base so Dib could pick up Pip and some nutrient drinks. Unfortunately, as soon as they were within sight, Dib and Zim both noticed the rather large fire consuming almost half of the house. As they were running, Zim yelled into a remote communicator.
"Computer! I thought I gave you direct orders to KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM HAPPENING!!"
"Well sorry, but even I have a hard time keeping track of those...things..."
"Well you could at least put out the fire!"
"I'm working on it! Those creatures keep causing more!"
Zim growled in frustration and used his spider legs to get there before Dib.
By the time Dib had reached the house, even though he was running full-out, Zim had already rescued the slightly charred Pip and Gir, as well as some nutrient drinks. The remaining fires were quickly put out.
"Computer, how long until damage is repaired?"
"A day, at least. You could still stay here, but it smells horrible. Like burned things."
Zim sighed.
"Wonderful."
Dib took Pip from Zim.
"Y'know, you could always stay at my place. We have a guest room, and there's probably something in the lab that could restrain these two, or at least keep Pip away from Gir so she can't reactivate him again."
Zim nodded, turning the hyperactive robot off.
"Alright. Computer, I will be back tomorrow. Alert me if anything goes horribly wrong."
The computer replied with something that sounded remarkably like a snicker.
"Suuure."
Zim simply rolled his eyes and began walking in the direction of Dib's house.
~~~~
When the two boys walked in Gaz barely glanced at them before returning to her GS2. Dib shrugged and led Zim up to the guest bedroom, which was next to his. Dib coughed when he opened the door, and Zim quickly backed away from the large dust cloud that had appeared. Dib sighed.
"Obviously, we don't have many people stay over. Well, it oughta be all set up. Watch out for genetically altered rats."
Zim looked suspiciously at the dark doorway, then at Dib.
"You truly are insane, aren't you? I am not going in that room, especially not first and by myself. You probably have something set up in there to capture me."
Dib contemplated smacking his head against the wall.
"Zim, you're already in my house. Had I wanted to catch you, I would have tried already. Now, I have to go cook dinner before Gaz kills me. Just go in there, get set up, and then you can come downstairs. Oh yeah, before I forget, is there any human food you can eat?"
Slightly bewildered, Zim nodded.
"I have found ramen to be edible."
Dib grinned.
"Good choice. Now go get set up."
Dib immediatly turned and ran downstairs, and Zim could hear Gaz threatening him to get dinner ready or die. Zim chuckled, then looked at the doorway to the guest room, which was still unnervingly black, and little swirls of dust were still creeping out of the room. Zim slowly took a step towards it before he heard a quiet, squeaky voice.
"Please, do come in. We are so very hungry, and you do look just ever so delicious."
"YAAAAAAGH!!!"
Zim bolted down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Dib had just turned to see what the screaming was. Zim ran headfirst into Dib, knocking the human to the floor, Zim huddled in a little ball on his chest. Dib sighed.
"Zim, I'm trying to cook. What is it?"
Zim looked at Dib with wide, frightened eyes.
"The...the rats...the rats wanna...eat me..."
Dib sighed.
"Is that all? Gaz! I though you said you fed them this week!"
From the other room, Gaz yelled back.
"I did! It's not my fault they're spoiled! You're the one who's always feeding them the goats!"
"But those dogs just look too small to feed them!"
By now Zim had gotten up, and he punched Dib squarely in the gut.
"You were going to put me in a room with rats that eat goats!? Like little, mousy chupacabras!?"
Dib rolled his eyes and checked to make sure the ramen wasn't burned.
"They wouldn't really eat you, Zim. They just like to mess around."
"I refuse to sleep in there."
"What, you think I'm going to let you sleep in my room?"
"Well, if that's the only other place I can sleep in this insane place."
Gaz yelled at the two boys from the other room.
"Shut up! You're gonna make me lose! Dib, Zim will sleep with you! No more arguing!"
Zim blinked and Dib sighed.
"Fine, fine. Dinners ready anyways."
~~~~
That night, Dib was laying in his bed and Zim was laying in a sleeping bag on the floor when there was a scratching noise on the door. Zim squeaked and curled up into a ball in the corner, while Dib sighed and opened the door. Outside, there was a large rat standing on it's hind legs, with a small cabbage attached to one of his front paws.
Dib yawned
"What is it?"
The rat held the cabbage up closer to Dib.
"Cabby can't sleep."
Dib sighed and sat down on the floor, then gave the cabbage a hug and kiss.
"There, can Cabby sleep now?"
The rat grinned and nodded, before scurrying off as fast as he could to the guest room.
Before Zim could comment, Dib glared at him.
"Don't say anything, Zim. Just get back to your bed and go to sleep."
~~~~~
If anyone can tell me where Cabby is from, I'll give you a cookie, and special mention the next chapter or so. Well, hope you liked this chapter and once again I am SO sorry it took so long to get this chap out, the next one will be out much sooner. Please review! I need them to keep writing!