Notes: I'm currently in Ismalia, Egypt, visiting my father (stationed overseas due to Air Force) and am completely without my Japanese volumes of MARS as well as my (highly incomplete) English ones. Therefore, any and all continuity errors are my own fault, so feel free to tell me.
Warning! This fanfic has spoilers (of a sort) for the ending of MARS, so if you're following the Tokyopop publication, you might want to skip this. Your own discretion and all.
--
--
Sei: Waiting
--
This is not her place, not her decision,
to take him from me; haven't I
waited long enough?
I could smell his soul, coming to me
over the distance and so I
came, to find him, to protect him,
to do for him what I never could.
Hospitals frightened me in life,
a common fear that - if I stayed too
long, made no signs of
leaving - it would make me ill and
trap me within it. But if Rei, the
other half of who we are, brave
and strong and valiant and arrogant,
if he was here - I would come.
And so I did, piercing, however brief,
the cloths of the mortal realm,
still outfitted in my last raiment, still
quiet and empty and smiling.
The hospital did not betray my presence,
the walls kept their secrets as I
strode - silent, ghostly, dead -
through it; how could I be seen by those
who lived if I were dead? I felt no
fear of sight or human.
But she looked at me. She saw me, this
girl with ruddy hair and a face so
slick with dripping tears, so crystalline,
like tender glass about to break, if I
reached my hand out and
thought to brush her cheek. I kept my
surprise - he pushed everyone away,
didn't he, what purpose would
a girl have weeping for him? - and
offered her a gentle smile, having
thought to soothe her.
She screamed, nearly jumping my
tentative presence from
this realm I am forbidden to be in
to the realm of death I am
now part of, and I hurried, passing
unseen through the operating room -
not long, Rei, I thought, we'll be
together again, whole and everything
I've ever wished to be.
I bled into
him, taking him to the place, the point
where it all combusts and changes
into new energy, new patterns of
existence in death or life
or essence.
For us, my Rei and me, it
was our roof, my hands clinging to the ledge
and Rei slowly opening his eyes
to feel the wind, the scent of
death, and see me - waiting. A smile, then,
holding my hand up with some effort for
him to clasp - save me, I thought, and we
can save each other, be forever - and he
smiled back, my Rei,
reaching for me to clasp my hand.
I've missed you, I thought,
and she came onto the roof, bleeding
with the aching of her love through life
into the dark void where Rei
hovered. He froze, unmoving as he
turned to look at her and I could tell,
then, that he loved her more - more! -
than he had ever loved me,
loved Mother, loved Father, anyone,
and I knew it was lost.
"Come back!" she cried, holding *her*
hand out as well, her smile so much more than
mine could ever be. And the bond, the tie,
more than sexual,
more than emotional,
more than familial,
drew him back to her, a tug and a pull
woven in with a deeper love that rooted him
to her.
The tree to the earth,
the sun to the sky,
the moon to the stars,
myself to he,
and he to her.
"I'm sorry," he said, gently and oddly
kind - when had my Rei ever truly been kind? -
as he looked sadly at me. "I can't go to
you," and almost as an afterthought,
seeing the sadness on my face
and the knowledge on hers, "yet."
A promise, I thought as I felt their
unity pulling them together, a new promise, then.
I waited so long for him to come to me,
empty and stripped of all life, and
now I must wait again, too incomplete for
heaven, too empty for hell. And it hurts
that much more to think...
If I had known her,
I might have cared for her, too.
--
--
End!
--
Feedback: As I don't usually write fanfiction in the form of poetry - heck, until four days ago I stirred away from it like it was cursed - but Sei's thoughts for this fic (which I've been mulling over for eight months, damn it, so it was fast becoming vital to my existence that I write this) fit themselves easier into the format of a free-verse poem than a narrative structure. So, basically, I'd be open to anything people could offer. Love ya and thanks! ^^
Disclaimer: Sei, Rei, and Kira (as well as MARS itself) all belong to Souryo Fuyumi and, arguably, the various companies that have translated and printed it in equally various countries. But me being a firm believer in artistic integrity (with my own set of rules, to boot), I think the only true owner should be Souryo-sensei. Eh - I'm also delusional. ^-
Warning! This fanfic has spoilers (of a sort) for the ending of MARS, so if you're following the Tokyopop publication, you might want to skip this. Your own discretion and all.
--
--
Sei: Waiting
--
This is not her place, not her decision,
to take him from me; haven't I
waited long enough?
I could smell his soul, coming to me
over the distance and so I
came, to find him, to protect him,
to do for him what I never could.
Hospitals frightened me in life,
a common fear that - if I stayed too
long, made no signs of
leaving - it would make me ill and
trap me within it. But if Rei, the
other half of who we are, brave
and strong and valiant and arrogant,
if he was here - I would come.
And so I did, piercing, however brief,
the cloths of the mortal realm,
still outfitted in my last raiment, still
quiet and empty and smiling.
The hospital did not betray my presence,
the walls kept their secrets as I
strode - silent, ghostly, dead -
through it; how could I be seen by those
who lived if I were dead? I felt no
fear of sight or human.
But she looked at me. She saw me, this
girl with ruddy hair and a face so
slick with dripping tears, so crystalline,
like tender glass about to break, if I
reached my hand out and
thought to brush her cheek. I kept my
surprise - he pushed everyone away,
didn't he, what purpose would
a girl have weeping for him? - and
offered her a gentle smile, having
thought to soothe her.
She screamed, nearly jumping my
tentative presence from
this realm I am forbidden to be in
to the realm of death I am
now part of, and I hurried, passing
unseen through the operating room -
not long, Rei, I thought, we'll be
together again, whole and everything
I've ever wished to be.
I bled into
him, taking him to the place, the point
where it all combusts and changes
into new energy, new patterns of
existence in death or life
or essence.
For us, my Rei and me, it
was our roof, my hands clinging to the ledge
and Rei slowly opening his eyes
to feel the wind, the scent of
death, and see me - waiting. A smile, then,
holding my hand up with some effort for
him to clasp - save me, I thought, and we
can save each other, be forever - and he
smiled back, my Rei,
reaching for me to clasp my hand.
I've missed you, I thought,
and she came onto the roof, bleeding
with the aching of her love through life
into the dark void where Rei
hovered. He froze, unmoving as he
turned to look at her and I could tell,
then, that he loved her more - more! -
than he had ever loved me,
loved Mother, loved Father, anyone,
and I knew it was lost.
"Come back!" she cried, holding *her*
hand out as well, her smile so much more than
mine could ever be. And the bond, the tie,
more than sexual,
more than emotional,
more than familial,
drew him back to her, a tug and a pull
woven in with a deeper love that rooted him
to her.
The tree to the earth,
the sun to the sky,
the moon to the stars,
myself to he,
and he to her.
"I'm sorry," he said, gently and oddly
kind - when had my Rei ever truly been kind? -
as he looked sadly at me. "I can't go to
you," and almost as an afterthought,
seeing the sadness on my face
and the knowledge on hers, "yet."
A promise, I thought as I felt their
unity pulling them together, a new promise, then.
I waited so long for him to come to me,
empty and stripped of all life, and
now I must wait again, too incomplete for
heaven, too empty for hell. And it hurts
that much more to think...
If I had known her,
I might have cared for her, too.
--
--
End!
--
Feedback: As I don't usually write fanfiction in the form of poetry - heck, until four days ago I stirred away from it like it was cursed - but Sei's thoughts for this fic (which I've been mulling over for eight months, damn it, so it was fast becoming vital to my existence that I write this) fit themselves easier into the format of a free-verse poem than a narrative structure. So, basically, I'd be open to anything people could offer. Love ya and thanks! ^^
Disclaimer: Sei, Rei, and Kira (as well as MARS itself) all belong to Souryo Fuyumi and, arguably, the various companies that have translated and printed it in equally various countries. But me being a firm believer in artistic integrity (with my own set of rules, to boot), I think the only true owner should be Souryo-sensei. Eh - I'm also delusional. ^-