(This chapter is dedicated to Arvanah Modray.........because she demanded
it. Sorry for making you suffer the delay. I'm sure many of you were losing
sleep as to how this Epic Master Piece.....of shit.......was going to end.
Rest assure that I promise to put three times as much effort in to the
quality of this chapter for all you hardcore Schwartz fans. (After all
three times zero is sill zero.) So loosen that ascot with the red-cross on
it, take off your shirt, tighten that braid, and put on a hat, because
chapter two, SCHWARTZ AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLORED DREAM SEQUENCE STARTS
NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and one more for good measure !)
It was just another normal day at the illegal weed killer shop. (It was an illegal weed killer shop, not because Schwartz didn't have the means to make it a legal weed killer shop, they just like doing bad things) The clouds were drooping, the crows were cackling, and the pirate-obsessed preschool boys were pretending to be interested in weed killer, all the while visualizing the Schwartz guys in one of their high seas adventures.
All the elements were in their redundantly typical place.......only the opposite of WeiB.......because they're ...........Schwartz.......
The Schwartz guys were in one of their.....AHH who gives a shit. They're always wearing those same ugly ass costumes anyway. Crawford was in his cream colored suit with the green tie. Crawford liked the Martha Stewart collection at K-Mart, and it showed. The material of his pants was so thin and cheap, God help him if he wore a pair of underwear that wasn't white. Farferello looked like the male Fujin.........that's about it. Nagi's character design was super original. He was wearing..........A JAPANESE HIGH SCHOOL UNIFORM. Wow, never seen one of those in an anime before. Shuldich always wore white shoes, even on labor day........are we really surprised that he's a Nazi?
The scene now focuses on Farferello sitting in a circle with a big group of school children.
We find Farferello at the closing of his story with a moral. "And that, children, is why God hates you.......because he doesn't exist......any questions?" Farferello was proud of himself. Any day he could warp the minds of innocent children was a good day. He almost enjoyed it as much as cleaning his blades with his tongue.
After a few moments of children staring blankly at Farferello, one of the children raised his hand and asked, "Are you a pirate?"
Farferello was furious. This was the.....well he couldn't really count how many times this was, because he had ended his scholastic career just a tad early due to.......personal issues. But he knew it was a really lot.
"No, I'm not a pirate. Now were there any questions about the story, and hating God who isn't real?"
Another kid raised his hand and said "Are you sure you're not a pirate? You have an eye patch and a sword."
Fareferello exclaimed, "NO FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT A PIRATE. DON'T ASK AGAIN. NOW, ARE THERE ANY REAL QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GOD I DESPISE WHOSE EXISTENCE IS ABSENT!!?? AND THIS QUESTION BETTER NOT BE WHETHER OR NOT I AM A PIRATE!!!!"
Then yet another child asked "Do you live on a pirate ship?"
Farferello then belted out in a swash buckling voice, "ARRR YE LITTLE BARNICLES, I NOT BE A PIRATE, NOW QUIT YOUR FLIPCHAP, OR I'LL SKEWER YE!!!!!!!"
Shuldich was grooming himself in the bathroom as usual. He ran his finger through his hair, pointed at himself in the mirror, and winked. "I'm just too smooth." He said to his reflection. He looked like a million dollars......that hadn't been paid back yet. He smoothly walked out to Farferello and coolly said, "No no Farfie, you got it all wrong, you gotta be cool when you handle these little accidents."
Shuldich had no problem with being compared to a pirate. They were cool, and they got chicks, like him. Why should he care if one of the little bedpost notches wanted to think of him that way. "So kids, ya like pirates?" Then Shuldich gave a cheesy used car salesmen shit-eating grin. It was the kind of grin you got when someone wanted to sell you a wonder vacuum that was cheaper then the maintenance of a regular vacuum in the span of about 50 years.
The kids became silent for a moment, and Shuldich began to relish in the Shul that was dich. "See Farfie, ya gotta be cool."
Then one of the children pointed at Shuldich and exclaimed "LOOK EVERYONE, ITS CARROT TOP!!!!!"
Suddenly Shuldich felt like a circumcised penis tip left on the side of the road by a jealous ex-wife. "That's it, I'm getting some weed. There's no way I'm getting through this day without a puff daddy fatty."
Farfello just replied "Goddamn it.....oh, that's right. He already has."
Nagi was in the back using his weird mine powers to mix a big tub of the illegal weed killer. They stole the tub........and I think you know why. Nagi couldn't help but think about Tot when he was reading the latest issue of "Air Heads for Smart Guys." He whispered to himself "Oh Tot, we could talk about so much........well maybe not, but damn you're a hottie."
Just then Crawford called in from the back "Nagi, can you give me a hand back here. These illegally gotten gloves that I'm using are illegal cheap pieces of illegal shit, and this illegal weed killer is going to burn through my hand if you don't get back here and help."
Nagi jus simply replied "No can do dude, its taking me like all my concentration and shit to stir this weed killer." Nagi then kissed a picture of the girl in his magazine.
Shudich was on the skywalk above the big thing full of..........stuff. He kept his weed in a special area and watched Nagi as he was rolling a spliff. He smugly whispered to himself "ha ha time for me to discover the missing joint. Ha ha cause a joint is like a link. Damn I'm funny."
Crawford walked out of the back wearing an apron that said "I like kittens"..... which he stole. He walked toward Nagi like he had a potato chip up his ass and was trying not to break it. He then scolded Nagi. "Damn it boy, don't dick around with your air head magazine, there's work that's gotta get done."
Nagi looked irritated. "Dude, we're assassins. Why do you have to have such a potato chip up your ass about THIS work? Why do we have to worry about getting this stuff done?"
Crawford gasped " WHAT!? THE WORK ALWAYS HAS TO GET DONE!!! Damn it Nagi, we can't just sit around reading girlie magazines when there's work to get done!!!"
Nagi just rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
Crawford was getting pissed. It was one thing to call him an anal retentive, dick-less, ass-licking, pansy-painting, animal-molesting, beef- jerky-eating loser with useless super powers, but to not get the work done!!!! That was quite another thing.
Crawford was about to slap the shit out of that little turd, fancy mental powers or not, right at the time Shuldich was rolling himself a temporary Nirvana, when suddenly Farferello ran in shrieking and crying. "Damn them, they're all Christian!!! They're all singing Jesus loves the little children!!!! It feels good and holy!!!! Make it stop!!!! Make it stop!!!" He shrilled.
Farferello then bumped into Crawford, who in turn bumped into Nagi, who in turn lost control of his mental hold over the tub, which caused a sprinkle to rush up causing Shuldich to burn his hand, who then dropped his weed into the tub.
Crawford: OH MY WEED KILLER!!!
Shuldich: OH MY WEED!!!
Nagi: OH MY SMUT MAG!!!
Farferello: OH MY GOD.........I hate you.
What followed was much like a super hero origin in the 60s. It was a cornicopic concoction of calligraphied catastrophe. When the actual weed mixed with the weed killer, a highly addictive, highly intoxicating gas- type shit flowed out. Causing all the Schwartz members to go to McDonald land in there minds. (And yes they have McDonalds in Japan)
Just then an ugly old saggy woman walked out of a very conspicuous Chevy Pinto. (How the hell should I know if they have Pintos in Japan or not) Her code name was Red Dog, like the beer. She ran over all the children and into the back (well actually she kind of hobbled because she was old.) By this time the Schwartz members had inhaled all of the smoke.
She watched the Schwartz members as they tanked out like a.........tank sort of thing . But she didn't really care. She wasn't getting paid much to do this job. Just 500 yen an hour, and all she could eat at Crawfish Cafe.
Crawford giggling to himself. "Hey toots, you wanna buy some Weed? Its killer. Ha ha, get it? Weed Killer?" All of Schwartz laughed to themselves.
Red Dog simply replied, "I'm here with your next mission you, anal- retentive, dick-less, ass-licking, pansy-painting, animal-molesting, beef- jerky-eating loser with useless super powers."
Nagi thought to himself, "I hope this isn't another lame ass mission like last time."
::FlashBack::
The Schwartz members are sitting upstairs in a well-lit room hearing their next mission through a telegraph from a man named "Iraq"
Nagi was irritated. "Don't you think we're overdoing this 'being the opposite of WeiB' thing?"
"How dare you imply that we're being unoriginal!" growled Crawford.
Iraq then spoke to all the members of Schwartz. "Schwartz, there's an old lady at the corner of West and Taylor trying to cross the street. A boy scout is about to help her.....see that she does not receive his help. Hunters of the day, deny these light humans their yesterdays."
Crawford then yelled out "Everyone, to the Schwartz-mobile!!"
Shuldich then replied, "I call shotgun."
Farferello then cocked a shotgun. "No, I call shot gun."
Shuldich, weirded out more then usual, "Alright, fine, YOU can have the front seat."
Faferello, baffled, and clutching his shot gun, "Seat?"
The Schwartz members then rolled out to the scene were the young boy was about to help the old Lady.
"God bless you young man for helping me"
Upon hearing this Farferello went BANANAS. "WHAT.......GOD.....BLESS...NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" He ran after them like a ravenous dog chasing after the man who just neutered him. Unfortunately, Farferello's stupid-ass leg strap pants thing caused him to trip and fall face first onto the ground. He cried out in panic. "NOOOOOO SHE IS GOING TO SUCCEED IN CROSSING THE STREET!!!!"
Crawford was panicked as well "Damn it! I should have predicted this would happen. Nagi, use your mental powers."
Nagi smiled darkly, "Sayonara you old bitch." Unfortunately for Nagi, he kicked up a little too much dust, and it stung his eyes causing the big street chunk he was about to drop on the old lady and boy scout to fall on Shuldich instead.
Shuldich yelled, "Oww damn it my head." And fell unconscious.
Crawford then sprung into action. "I know, I'll use my girlie punches that have no effect and predict that they will cross the street safely."
The conscious members of Schwartz slapped their foreheads--even Shuldich who was unconscious--as the lady and boy safely crossed the street.
::End Flash Back::
Nagi wondered to himself what new stupid pointless thing they would have to end up doing now.
Iraq gave Schwartz their new assignment. "Schwartz, there's a baby eating some candy..... You know what to do. Hunters of the day, deny these light humans their yesterday."
All the Schwartz members laughed to themselves. "light humans, in Japan AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA how can we kill them yesterday if they're still alive today. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.."
Red Dog just shrugged. "I'm going to get some Crawfish."
On that note Schwartz ran to the Schwartz-mobile. The fumes actually did something miraculous in that the members of Schwartz actually succeeded in accomplishing a mission.
Farferello snatched the candy from the baby's hand and the baby began to cry. Faferello cackled, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This will surely hurt God, and I have a mad case of the munchies as well. AHAHAHAHAH::Lighting crashes in the backround::AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!" Farfello was contentedly licking the lolli he stole, while the other Schwartz members went around to do more no-good.
Crawford gets out exact change and purchases a drink from the vending machine. "Boy it would certainly be a shame if someone didn't RECYCLE THIS CAN."
Crawford mercilessly crushes the can and lets it drop to the ground.
Shuldich smiled "No walking on the grass huh?" And Shuldich, like some sort of savage animal, actually walked on the grass despite the fact that the sign said DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS!!!
The evil continued as Nagi found a pair of scissors and tried to be cool like an American. "Look I'm running with scissors, and your not supposed to run with scissors! But I'm running with scissors anyway! "
Then they all went to a restaurant arm in arm, to discuss the various ways they could cause more trouble.
Nagi ordered first. "I'll have sake and rice"
Followed by Shuldich, "Heineken, and some sauerkraut and bratwurst."
Then Farferello. "I'll have some potatoes, and some Killian's Irish Red."
"And how would you like your potatoes done, Sir?"
"I just want....potatoes."
"I see...........and you Sir?"
Oddly enough Crawford replied "Pasta."
Everyone looked at Crawford as if he suddenly said he wanted to be a 'Super friend.'
Crawford stuttered "Uh.......with......AMERICAN CHEESE........and a BUDWEISER"
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and laughed. After they indulged their major case of the munchies...
Crawford said, "I know, we'll be bad and not leave a tip. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Nagi uttered, "But there's no tipping in Japan."
Then Crawford responded "Then we'll......LEAVE A TIP. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
All the members of Schwartz laughed evilly and left a great big tip.
They then skipped along to the nearest photo both to get their pictures taken.
Schuldich exuded, "We're best friends forever."
Everyone else replied "Yeah, Best friends for ever!"
Farferello then yelled, "Everyone say cheese"
Everyone responded "Cheese!!!" And the Schwartz gang was immortalized on Kiwi-printed photo stickers.
They then got back into their car and were driving along.
Shuldich suggested, "Hey lets pick up some chicks."
Nagi pointed. "Hey, that looks like a good place."
Crawford asked, "What's it called?"
Farferello read, "The CUMQUAT."
(Well, we find our favorite antagonists at the doorstep of disaster. Armed with only a shotgun, ineffective super powers, and a weed-induced disposition, what sort of dastardly deeds can Schwartz accomplish? And what role does Schrient have to play, now that Masufumi is gone and they're four bitter, nagging, spiteful bitches. And what is WeiB's objective in the Cumquat? Stay tuned for Chapter 3 A good man is hard to drag.)
It was just another normal day at the illegal weed killer shop. (It was an illegal weed killer shop, not because Schwartz didn't have the means to make it a legal weed killer shop, they just like doing bad things) The clouds were drooping, the crows were cackling, and the pirate-obsessed preschool boys were pretending to be interested in weed killer, all the while visualizing the Schwartz guys in one of their high seas adventures.
All the elements were in their redundantly typical place.......only the opposite of WeiB.......because they're ...........Schwartz.......
The Schwartz guys were in one of their.....AHH who gives a shit. They're always wearing those same ugly ass costumes anyway. Crawford was in his cream colored suit with the green tie. Crawford liked the Martha Stewart collection at K-Mart, and it showed. The material of his pants was so thin and cheap, God help him if he wore a pair of underwear that wasn't white. Farferello looked like the male Fujin.........that's about it. Nagi's character design was super original. He was wearing..........A JAPANESE HIGH SCHOOL UNIFORM. Wow, never seen one of those in an anime before. Shuldich always wore white shoes, even on labor day........are we really surprised that he's a Nazi?
The scene now focuses on Farferello sitting in a circle with a big group of school children.
We find Farferello at the closing of his story with a moral. "And that, children, is why God hates you.......because he doesn't exist......any questions?" Farferello was proud of himself. Any day he could warp the minds of innocent children was a good day. He almost enjoyed it as much as cleaning his blades with his tongue.
After a few moments of children staring blankly at Farferello, one of the children raised his hand and asked, "Are you a pirate?"
Farferello was furious. This was the.....well he couldn't really count how many times this was, because he had ended his scholastic career just a tad early due to.......personal issues. But he knew it was a really lot.
"No, I'm not a pirate. Now were there any questions about the story, and hating God who isn't real?"
Another kid raised his hand and said "Are you sure you're not a pirate? You have an eye patch and a sword."
Fareferello exclaimed, "NO FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT A PIRATE. DON'T ASK AGAIN. NOW, ARE THERE ANY REAL QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GOD I DESPISE WHOSE EXISTENCE IS ABSENT!!?? AND THIS QUESTION BETTER NOT BE WHETHER OR NOT I AM A PIRATE!!!!"
Then yet another child asked "Do you live on a pirate ship?"
Farferello then belted out in a swash buckling voice, "ARRR YE LITTLE BARNICLES, I NOT BE A PIRATE, NOW QUIT YOUR FLIPCHAP, OR I'LL SKEWER YE!!!!!!!"
Shuldich was grooming himself in the bathroom as usual. He ran his finger through his hair, pointed at himself in the mirror, and winked. "I'm just too smooth." He said to his reflection. He looked like a million dollars......that hadn't been paid back yet. He smoothly walked out to Farferello and coolly said, "No no Farfie, you got it all wrong, you gotta be cool when you handle these little accidents."
Shuldich had no problem with being compared to a pirate. They were cool, and they got chicks, like him. Why should he care if one of the little bedpost notches wanted to think of him that way. "So kids, ya like pirates?" Then Shuldich gave a cheesy used car salesmen shit-eating grin. It was the kind of grin you got when someone wanted to sell you a wonder vacuum that was cheaper then the maintenance of a regular vacuum in the span of about 50 years.
The kids became silent for a moment, and Shuldich began to relish in the Shul that was dich. "See Farfie, ya gotta be cool."
Then one of the children pointed at Shuldich and exclaimed "LOOK EVERYONE, ITS CARROT TOP!!!!!"
Suddenly Shuldich felt like a circumcised penis tip left on the side of the road by a jealous ex-wife. "That's it, I'm getting some weed. There's no way I'm getting through this day without a puff daddy fatty."
Farfello just replied "Goddamn it.....oh, that's right. He already has."
Nagi was in the back using his weird mine powers to mix a big tub of the illegal weed killer. They stole the tub........and I think you know why. Nagi couldn't help but think about Tot when he was reading the latest issue of "Air Heads for Smart Guys." He whispered to himself "Oh Tot, we could talk about so much........well maybe not, but damn you're a hottie."
Just then Crawford called in from the back "Nagi, can you give me a hand back here. These illegally gotten gloves that I'm using are illegal cheap pieces of illegal shit, and this illegal weed killer is going to burn through my hand if you don't get back here and help."
Nagi jus simply replied "No can do dude, its taking me like all my concentration and shit to stir this weed killer." Nagi then kissed a picture of the girl in his magazine.
Shudich was on the skywalk above the big thing full of..........stuff. He kept his weed in a special area and watched Nagi as he was rolling a spliff. He smugly whispered to himself "ha ha time for me to discover the missing joint. Ha ha cause a joint is like a link. Damn I'm funny."
Crawford walked out of the back wearing an apron that said "I like kittens"..... which he stole. He walked toward Nagi like he had a potato chip up his ass and was trying not to break it. He then scolded Nagi. "Damn it boy, don't dick around with your air head magazine, there's work that's gotta get done."
Nagi looked irritated. "Dude, we're assassins. Why do you have to have such a potato chip up your ass about THIS work? Why do we have to worry about getting this stuff done?"
Crawford gasped " WHAT!? THE WORK ALWAYS HAS TO GET DONE!!! Damn it Nagi, we can't just sit around reading girlie magazines when there's work to get done!!!"
Nagi just rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
Crawford was getting pissed. It was one thing to call him an anal retentive, dick-less, ass-licking, pansy-painting, animal-molesting, beef- jerky-eating loser with useless super powers, but to not get the work done!!!! That was quite another thing.
Crawford was about to slap the shit out of that little turd, fancy mental powers or not, right at the time Shuldich was rolling himself a temporary Nirvana, when suddenly Farferello ran in shrieking and crying. "Damn them, they're all Christian!!! They're all singing Jesus loves the little children!!!! It feels good and holy!!!! Make it stop!!!! Make it stop!!!" He shrilled.
Farferello then bumped into Crawford, who in turn bumped into Nagi, who in turn lost control of his mental hold over the tub, which caused a sprinkle to rush up causing Shuldich to burn his hand, who then dropped his weed into the tub.
Crawford: OH MY WEED KILLER!!!
Shuldich: OH MY WEED!!!
Nagi: OH MY SMUT MAG!!!
Farferello: OH MY GOD.........I hate you.
What followed was much like a super hero origin in the 60s. It was a cornicopic concoction of calligraphied catastrophe. When the actual weed mixed with the weed killer, a highly addictive, highly intoxicating gas- type shit flowed out. Causing all the Schwartz members to go to McDonald land in there minds. (And yes they have McDonalds in Japan)
Just then an ugly old saggy woman walked out of a very conspicuous Chevy Pinto. (How the hell should I know if they have Pintos in Japan or not) Her code name was Red Dog, like the beer. She ran over all the children and into the back (well actually she kind of hobbled because she was old.) By this time the Schwartz members had inhaled all of the smoke.
She watched the Schwartz members as they tanked out like a.........tank sort of thing . But she didn't really care. She wasn't getting paid much to do this job. Just 500 yen an hour, and all she could eat at Crawfish Cafe.
Crawford giggling to himself. "Hey toots, you wanna buy some Weed? Its killer. Ha ha, get it? Weed Killer?" All of Schwartz laughed to themselves.
Red Dog simply replied, "I'm here with your next mission you, anal- retentive, dick-less, ass-licking, pansy-painting, animal-molesting, beef- jerky-eating loser with useless super powers."
Nagi thought to himself, "I hope this isn't another lame ass mission like last time."
::FlashBack::
The Schwartz members are sitting upstairs in a well-lit room hearing their next mission through a telegraph from a man named "Iraq"
Nagi was irritated. "Don't you think we're overdoing this 'being the opposite of WeiB' thing?"
"How dare you imply that we're being unoriginal!" growled Crawford.
Iraq then spoke to all the members of Schwartz. "Schwartz, there's an old lady at the corner of West and Taylor trying to cross the street. A boy scout is about to help her.....see that she does not receive his help. Hunters of the day, deny these light humans their yesterdays."
Crawford then yelled out "Everyone, to the Schwartz-mobile!!"
Shuldich then replied, "I call shotgun."
Farferello then cocked a shotgun. "No, I call shot gun."
Shuldich, weirded out more then usual, "Alright, fine, YOU can have the front seat."
Faferello, baffled, and clutching his shot gun, "Seat?"
The Schwartz members then rolled out to the scene were the young boy was about to help the old Lady.
"God bless you young man for helping me"
Upon hearing this Farferello went BANANAS. "WHAT.......GOD.....BLESS...NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" He ran after them like a ravenous dog chasing after the man who just neutered him. Unfortunately, Farferello's stupid-ass leg strap pants thing caused him to trip and fall face first onto the ground. He cried out in panic. "NOOOOOO SHE IS GOING TO SUCCEED IN CROSSING THE STREET!!!!"
Crawford was panicked as well "Damn it! I should have predicted this would happen. Nagi, use your mental powers."
Nagi smiled darkly, "Sayonara you old bitch." Unfortunately for Nagi, he kicked up a little too much dust, and it stung his eyes causing the big street chunk he was about to drop on the old lady and boy scout to fall on Shuldich instead.
Shuldich yelled, "Oww damn it my head." And fell unconscious.
Crawford then sprung into action. "I know, I'll use my girlie punches that have no effect and predict that they will cross the street safely."
The conscious members of Schwartz slapped their foreheads--even Shuldich who was unconscious--as the lady and boy safely crossed the street.
::End Flash Back::
Nagi wondered to himself what new stupid pointless thing they would have to end up doing now.
Iraq gave Schwartz their new assignment. "Schwartz, there's a baby eating some candy..... You know what to do. Hunters of the day, deny these light humans their yesterday."
All the Schwartz members laughed to themselves. "light humans, in Japan AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA how can we kill them yesterday if they're still alive today. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.."
Red Dog just shrugged. "I'm going to get some Crawfish."
On that note Schwartz ran to the Schwartz-mobile. The fumes actually did something miraculous in that the members of Schwartz actually succeeded in accomplishing a mission.
Farferello snatched the candy from the baby's hand and the baby began to cry. Faferello cackled, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This will surely hurt God, and I have a mad case of the munchies as well. AHAHAHAHAH::Lighting crashes in the backround::AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!" Farfello was contentedly licking the lolli he stole, while the other Schwartz members went around to do more no-good.
Crawford gets out exact change and purchases a drink from the vending machine. "Boy it would certainly be a shame if someone didn't RECYCLE THIS CAN."
Crawford mercilessly crushes the can and lets it drop to the ground.
Shuldich smiled "No walking on the grass huh?" And Shuldich, like some sort of savage animal, actually walked on the grass despite the fact that the sign said DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS!!!
The evil continued as Nagi found a pair of scissors and tried to be cool like an American. "Look I'm running with scissors, and your not supposed to run with scissors! But I'm running with scissors anyway! "
Then they all went to a restaurant arm in arm, to discuss the various ways they could cause more trouble.
Nagi ordered first. "I'll have sake and rice"
Followed by Shuldich, "Heineken, and some sauerkraut and bratwurst."
Then Farferello. "I'll have some potatoes, and some Killian's Irish Red."
"And how would you like your potatoes done, Sir?"
"I just want....potatoes."
"I see...........and you Sir?"
Oddly enough Crawford replied "Pasta."
Everyone looked at Crawford as if he suddenly said he wanted to be a 'Super friend.'
Crawford stuttered "Uh.......with......AMERICAN CHEESE........and a BUDWEISER"
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and laughed. After they indulged their major case of the munchies...
Crawford said, "I know, we'll be bad and not leave a tip. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Nagi uttered, "But there's no tipping in Japan."
Then Crawford responded "Then we'll......LEAVE A TIP. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
All the members of Schwartz laughed evilly and left a great big tip.
They then skipped along to the nearest photo both to get their pictures taken.
Schuldich exuded, "We're best friends forever."
Everyone else replied "Yeah, Best friends for ever!"
Farferello then yelled, "Everyone say cheese"
Everyone responded "Cheese!!!" And the Schwartz gang was immortalized on Kiwi-printed photo stickers.
They then got back into their car and were driving along.
Shuldich suggested, "Hey lets pick up some chicks."
Nagi pointed. "Hey, that looks like a good place."
Crawford asked, "What's it called?"
Farferello read, "The CUMQUAT."
(Well, we find our favorite antagonists at the doorstep of disaster. Armed with only a shotgun, ineffective super powers, and a weed-induced disposition, what sort of dastardly deeds can Schwartz accomplish? And what role does Schrient have to play, now that Masufumi is gone and they're four bitter, nagging, spiteful bitches. And what is WeiB's objective in the Cumquat? Stay tuned for Chapter 3 A good man is hard to drag.)