Slow Dying Flower
Pain... like so many cool, steel blades being forced onto my being...
Being forced through pale skin...
Being forced to pierce through vulnerable flesh...
Forcing out the ruby drops that flow from within...
Pain... like so much hammering against my head....
Like so many blows raining down on my body...
Raining, like the wet drops that trickled down the window of my frost bitten cell...
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand....
It all hurt... It all had hurt... I told myself... that it will be okay... That it was for my own good.
The pain was to teach me...
What did I know...?
Your face say these promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them...
When we were young, you promised. You promised that we will never leave each others side... In all our innocence, we believed that we will conquer all...
Where are the promises now...?
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
In all your own innocence, you closed your eyes to my beatings... You only saw the bruises... the pain... the anguish... Despite my impending doom, you stayed by me as others fled in my wake...
Then you too changed...
Well content loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
Then... once again, I was alone... But I was fine with that... I had the darkness... the silence... I didn't need you... or at least, that's what I told myself... Inside, my heart was sinking into oblivion... Strangling the life...
Buried now... Lost for eternity...
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I try to remember our promise... try to remember how innocent we were... But now...
What use are they to me...? What use are they to you...? We've sunk deep into the deep crevasse that took so little to push us into...
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Now... years on... My heart is cold... My life slowing withering... What was once innocent and sweet... is now hard-bitten and embittered... Don't come near me...
Don't come near me...
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
The dark... The misery... Those are what I need... All I need...
Why did I care for you?
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
No... I lie... I hate the darkness... I resent the misery... I despise the loneliness... I needed you...
I need you... Angel who loved and will save me...
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Years on... and I thought all that I once held dear was stolen... But... despite how detached I am... No matter how untouchable I became...
Your mere memory is trying to save my being...
Trying to save the flower from the frost...
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your touch... after years of separation and coolness... It still reminds me...
Can you still touch me now... the way you touched me then...?
Your face saying promised whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Now... alone... all I can see is your face in my mind... where are you now...? What has happened? The promises... The whispers... I lied...
I need you...
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I can't take this... I need you... I don't want the tendrils of strangling darkness... I don't want the misery...
I want the sweetness of your touch... I need the weakness you give me when you touch me...
I need you so desperately...
I need you to save me...
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
I need you my Angel... Where are you...? Where is he keeping you...? Please save me... Even now... I hold the blade close to flesh... Daring all those who oppose me...
Where are you my Angel...?
Well is it dark enough
Can you see me
Do you want me
Can you reach me
Oh, I'm leaving
Can you see? Do you see? Then why aren't you coming...? Why...? I pull the blade... Ruby droplets fall on to the blue... I sit here on the floor, waiting... I need you... Why aren't you coming...?
It's getting darker...
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
And kiss me now
And catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this
Where are you...? It's getting darker...
No... my friends... leave me...
Don't try and save me... It's too late for me... Find another who can lead you...
My Angel.... My love... Where are you...? I need you... My heart... the slow dying flower... is now frost bitten and cold... Not burning in the red fire of the phoenix... No more...
It won't beat anymore...
It won't break anymore...
It won't hurt anymore...
Dark now... I'll see you again...
....someday...
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My first Angst! The song written into it is called My Skin by Natalie Merchant. Very sad song, and the inspiration for this...